美国文化之家庭课件family-life-

Familylifeandsocialetiquette

UnitgoalsTogetageneralknowledgeoftheAmericanfamilyTogetacquaintedwithsomeAmericanetiquetteTolearnsomeusefulwordsandexpressionsconcerningAmericanfamilylifeandetiquette

AmericanFamilyStructures:

1.Typicalfamilies(father,motherwithusuallytwochildrenunder18)

2.Marriedcoupleswithoutchildren

3.Singleparentsandtheirchildren(In2006,33%childrenarebeingraisedinsingleparentfamilies,and90%singleparentfamiliesareheadedbyfemales.)

4.Unrelatedpeoplelivingtogether

5.Homosexualcouples(domesticpartners)

6.Interculturalunions:marriagesbetweenpeopleofdifferentracesorcultures

25%ofAmericanpeoplelivealone.

FamilyAccordingtotheUSgovernment,afamilyisthosepeoplewholivewithotherstowhomtheyarerelatedbyblood,marriage,oradoption.IncolonialAmericansociety,familywasaplaceofproduction,aprimarilyself-sufficientagriculturalunit.Thepresentconceptofafamilyhomeisaplacewhoseeconomicactivitiesfocusonconsumptionandchild-care.FamilyThemostimportanteventthatinfluencedfamiliesinthesecondhalfofthe20thcenturyistheinventionofbirthcontrolpills,whichenabledpeopletoactuallyplanchildbearing.FamilyInthelate1960sand1970s,anemphasiswasplacedonexperimentationandfreedom.Marriagewasnolonger“tilldeathusdopart”but“tillwegetbored”.Divorcerateincreaseddramaticallyduringthisperiod.FamilySincethe1980s,manycouplesstartedtostrivetobuilddurablerelationshipsbasedonmoreconventionalvaluesofthepast—loyalty,trustandcommitment.

FamilyvaluesThefollowingarewhatamajorityofAmericansagreeasfamilyvalues:Respectingone’sparentsBeingresponsibleforone’sactionsHavingfaithinGodRespectingauthorityMarriedtothesamepersonforalifetimeFamilyvalues6.Leavingtheworldinbettershape7.Givingemotionalsupporttoothermembersofthefamily8.Respectingpeopleforthemselves9.Developinggreaterskillsincommunicatingone’sfeelings10.Respectingone’schildrenWomenandchildcareWomen’sLiberationMovementinthe1960sresultedinabortionrights,thecreationofagreatnumberofdaycarecenters,andequalaccesstoprofessionalopportunities.Butthefollowingtableshowsthatmostdomesticdutiesarestillwomen’swork.WomenandchildcareTaskChildrenHusbandWifeNon-familyLaundry107812Shopping319780Cooking715771Cleaning1912663Dishwashing2613601Paperwork129700Childcare432632Yardwork949402DivorceBefore1970,divorcelawshadbasedontheconceptoffault.After1970,allthe50Statesadoptedno-faultdivorce.Divorceshouldbegrantedonthebasisofirreconcilable

differencesthathavecausedtheirremediable

breakdownofthemarriage.ThemajorityofAmericanwomenvaluecompanionshipasthemostimportantpartofmarriage.Othervalues,suchashavingeconomicsupportandtheopportunitytohavechildren,althoughimportant,areseenbymanyaslessimportant.Ifthecoupleisnothappy,theindividualsmaychoosetogetaDIVORCE.

Cohabitation

Cohabitation,ortrialmarriagehasbecomewidespreadinAmerica.Manypeople,whochoosetodelaymarriageorremainsingle,viewcohabitationasanalternativetomarriage.Approximately45%ofyoungpeoplehavecohabitedforsomelengthoftime.CohabitationThenumberofillegitimatebirthintheUnitedStateshaveclimbeddrasticallysincethe1950s.Nowadaysover50%ofallchildbirthsareillegitimate.AmericanFamily:

TheEmphasisonIndividualFreedom

Americansviewfamilyasagroupwhoseprimarypurposeistoadvancethehappinessofindividualmembers.Theneedsofeachindividualtakepriorityinthelifeofthefamily.

AmericanFamily:

TheEmphasisonIndividualFreedom

TheprimaryresponsibilityoftheAmericanfamilymemberisnottoadvancethefamilyasagroup,eithersociallyoreconomically.Familynameandhonorarelessimportantthaninaristocraticsocieties.

Americansdonotliketohavecontrolsplacedonthembyotherfamilymembers.

AmericanFamily:

EqualityintheFamily

AlongwiththeAmericanemphasisonindividualfreedom,thebeliefinequalityhashadastrongeffect

onthefamily.DEMOCRATICIDEAOnonehand,equalitydestroysmuchofthefather’sstatusasrulerofthefamily.Butontheotherhand,itlessenstheemotionaldistancebetweenfatherandchildren.Therefore,childrenhavelessformalrespectforandfearoffather,andmoreaffectionexpressedtowardshim.

SomeAmericansworrythatthereistoomuchdemocracyinthehome,sincetherehasbeenasignificantdeclineinparentalauthorityandchildren’srespectforthem,especiallyinteenagers.

Someparentsseemtohavelittlecontroloverthebehavioroftheirteenagechildren,mainlyaftertheyturn16,whentheygettheirdriver’slicenses.

RoleChanges:

ThedecliningroleoffathersinthelivesofAmericanchildrenAbout40%ofAmericanchildren(24million)donotlivewiththeirfathers.(highdivorcerateandthelargenumberofchildrenborntounmarriedmothers).

Someseetheirfathersonaweeklybasis(divorcedfatherhasvisitationrights),but,iftheparentsliveindifferentpartsofthecountry,Dadmaybecomeaninfrequentcompanion.Ontheotherhand,about2milliondadsofchildrenunder15areprimarycaregivers.Thesedadsaredoingthemothering!

RoleChanges:About71%ofwomenwithchildrenunderage18areemployed:2ndincomecareerpursuit.Thelifeoftheworkingmotherisstimulatingbutalsoveryhecticandstressful.Workingmotherwhoalsotriestohandleallthehomemakingtasksfindthattheyareoftentiredandirritable.Toavoidtheseproblems,somewomenhirehouseholdhelp(butfewhavelive-inservants).Otherssimplydolessworkaroundthehouse.Afewnightsaweek,dinnercomesfromacarry-outrestaurantinsteadoftheoven.Dustliespatientlyonthefurnitureuntiltheweekend.Inrecentdecades,thetypicalAmericanfamilyhasbeengettingsmaller.Thestatisticalaverageisnow3.2people.(Reasonsincludegreatexpenditure,andmothersatwork.)Statistics:In2009,themedian(中间值)incomeforafamilyoffourwas$49,777.Thepovertythresholdforsuchafamilywas$21,756.With$21,756,afamilyoffourcanonlyaffordtheirfood,shelter,andothernecessities.What’stheinfluenceonchildren?Nocompanionshiptheyoncehadfromalargegroupofsiblings.Millionsofpreteenswithtwoworkingparentscomefromschooltoanemptyhouse.Toimprovethissituation,manyschoolsandcommunitiesofferafter-schoolprogramsthatprovideaplaceforchildrentogoandinterestingactivitiesforthemtogetinvolvedin.QuickSentenceCompletionConcerningOldAgeOldis...IknowIamoldwhen...Iknowmyparentsareoldwhen...WhenIamold,I...Oldpeople...Brainstorm:

Howtodescribetheoldpeople?1.Grayhair2.Wrinkledskin3.Beingforgetful4.Hardtimelearningnewthings5.Hardofhearing6.Slower7.Confusion8.Unhappy/Sad9.Talkingaboutthepast10.Growingshorter11.Drivingacar/bikeless12.Weakerbones13.Lonely14.Heartattacks15.Diabetes16.Highbloodpressure17.Alzheimer’sdisease18.Wisdom19.Experienced20.respectableGuessTheirAge12345CorrectAges:

1:Chuck,age66

2:Carolyn,age71

3:Tom,age75

4:Zhen,age72

5:Ralph,age83Question:

Howoldisold?OldAgeSome35millionseniorcitizens(age65orolder)makeupalmost13%ofthenation’spopulation,andthenation'sover-85populationisincreasingrapidly.Twodifferentgroups:

the“young-old”(ages65to80)andthe“old-old"(over80).Youngerseniorstendtobequiteactive—workingparttime,traveling,enjoyingleisureactivitieswithfriends,andcrossingthecountrytovisittheirchildrenandgrandchildren.

Americansproudlywatched77-year-oldformersenatorandastronautJohnGlennridingthroughspaceand75-year-oldformerpresidentGeorgeBushskydiving.

Theyknowthatfolksintheir70sarenotstuckinrockingchairs.JohnGlenn(bornonJuly18,1921)isaformerUnitedStatesMarineCorpspilot,astronautandUnitedStatessenatorwhowasthefirstAmericantoorbittheEarth(in1962)andthirdAmericaninspace.WithSkydive

Bushsaidhehopedhisstuntsentamessagetopeoplethat"at80yearsold,you'vestillgotalife.""Forme,Ilikespeed.Ilikethethrillofit,"hesaid.Butthejumpalso"setsanexampleforolderpeople,hereandabroad,thatjustbecauseyou're80yearsold,itdoesn'tmeanyou'reoutofit."PresidentGeorgeH.W.BushCelebrateshis80thBirthdayButwhataboutthe“old-old”?OppositetothewrongnotionthatAmericanssimplyleavetheirelderlyparentsinnursinghomesandforgetaboutthem,actually,onlyabout5%oftoday’sseniorcitizensliveinnursinghomes.Millionsofmiddle-agedAmericansmembersofthe“sandwichgeneration”takecareofboththeirelderlyparentsandtheirchildren.Twotypesoflivingfacilitiesforseniors:Forelderlypeoplewhoareveryillordisabled,anursinghomemaybetheonlyalternativeiftheirchildrenareworking.Also,inmanycommunities,retirementresidences(退休公寓)havebeendevelopedtoprovidelivingfacilitiesforolderpeoplewhodon’tneednursingcarebutwhocannolongerhandletheburdenofshoppingandcookingforthemselves.RetirementresidenceWhereishome?ThemajorityofAmericansliveinornearlargecities,butsmall-townlivingisstillwidespread.Asuburbcombinestheadvantagesofsafer,moreintimatesmall-townlifewiththerecreationalandculturalfacilitiesandjobopportunitiesofthebigcitynearby.(Middle-incomefamiliesmovethereinlargenumbers.)

Abouttwo-thirdsofAmericansliveinhomesorapartmentsthattheyown,butmanypeoplerenttheirresidences.Apartmentbuildingsrangefromwalk-upswithtwotosixapartmentstohigh-riseelevatorbuildingswithmorethanahundredunits.Someapartmentsareveryexpensiveandelegant;othersarebuiltformoderate-orlow-incomefamilies.Manyapartmentbuildingsarecondominiums(condos公寓

:multi-unitdwellingswithprivatelyownedresidencesandsharedcommonareas.Condominiumsareclassifiedasrealproperty,meaningthatbuyersownthedeeds房契totheirdwellings).Somearecooperatives(co-ops).Co-opsarenotconsideredrealproperty.Whenyoubuyintoaco-op,youbecomeashareholderinacorporationthatownstheproperty.Soyouareentitledtotheexclusiveuseofahousingunitintheproperty.HomeownershipHomeownershipratesinUSareabout70%.homeownershipisanvitalpartoftheAmericandream.Asthelargestassetthatmostpeopleownintheirlives,ahomeisasignificantfinancialinvestmentandasourceofsecurityandpride.HousingTypesinUSSingle-familydetached:

Thesehousesarelocatedonseparatelotsandaredesignedtoaccommodateasinglefamily.2.Single-familyattached:Thishouseismadeupoftwoormoredwellingunitsattachedtoeachotherwithacommonwall.HousingTypesinUS3.Gardenapartments:Thesedwellingunitsareusuallytwotothreestoryapartmentbuildingswithhigherdensity.4.

High-riseapartments:Thebuildingsforthesedwellingunitsareusuallysevenstoriesandhigherandhavethehighestdensity.HousingTypesinUS5:Mobilehomes:

Morethan7millionAmericanhouseholdsliveinmobilehomes—livingquartersbuiltwithwheels.Mobilehomescanbemovedbutaregenerallybroughttoapermanentsite.Afterthewheelsareremoved,thehomeisattachedtotheground.ManymobilehomesarelocatedinparksandonscatteredlotsthroughoutruralAmerica.

Mobilehomesareespeciallypopularwithyoungcouplesandretiredcoupleslivingonalimitedincomebecauseoftheirlowercost.(paidforininstallments,andthesiteisrented)AmericanEtiquetteHowdopeopleknowwhatisconsideredgoodmannersinaparticularculture?Intheseventeenth-centurycourtofKingLouisⅩⅣ,itwaseasy.Visitorsweregivenaticket(uneetiquette)listingrulesofacceptablebehavior.Andthatwastheoriginoftoday’sEnglishwordetiquette,whichreferstotheproperwaytobehaveinsocialsituations.It’struethatAmericansarerathercasual.Still,therearemanysocialblundersthatwilloffendthem.MostAmericanattitudesaboutgoodmannersrelatetoshowingrespectandconsiderationforothers.Americansbelievethatallpeopleareentitledtoequalopportunityandrespect.Nooneisprivileged,andnooneisworthless.ApersonwhoactsveryhumbleandtimidwillmakehisorherAmericanfriendsuncomfortable.Ontheotherhand,adomineeringpersonwillhavetroublekeepingAmericanfriends.Apolitebutassertivemannerissociallyacceptable.Nomatterwhatyourstatusisinrelationtoanotherperson,feelfreetolookdirectlyintohiseyesandspeakyourtruefeelings.Occasionally,itisasocialnecessitytotella“whitelie”andcomplimentsomeoneonsomethingyoudon’treallylike.But,mostofthetime,youcanexpressyourtrueopinions.Americanswon’tmindifyoudisagreewiththemaslongasyoushowrespectforthemandtheirideas.Generally,Americansaredirect,open-minded,friendlyandeasy-going,buttheyalsohaveextremeindividualismandclearboundary.Youmayeasilyhaveapleasantconversationwiththem,andyoumayexchangegreetingseverytimeyoumeetbutneverexchangesecretswiththem.ThefollowingtipsareabouthowtodealwithAmericanpeopleindailylife.CommonmannersindailylifeHugsareonlyexchangedbetweenclosefriends.(cf.hand-shakingaspartofintroductionorfarewell)ThedrinkingageinAmericais21.Thelegalsmokingageis18.(Provideidentificationifyouarebuying…)Smokingisprohibitedinpublicbuildingsandonpublictransportation.Askpermissionifyouwanttosmoke.(inbars,somerestaurants,nightclubs,outdoors).Leaveatipthatisequalto15%-20%ofthetotalbill(restaurants,hairdressers,taxidrivers,bartenders).Forparkingvalets,hotelporters,$1-5.No.1--alwayswearasmile.Wheneveryoumeetwithafriend,givethemwarmgreetingstoshowyourcare.No.2—besincereandconfidentwhenyouaretalkingandtrytogivebriefanswers.No.3—complimentotherswhentheyhaveanewhairstyleorshowyouanewpicture.No.4—findopportunitiestopraisethehostess’scookingsuchashomemadedesserts.No.5—makeyourselfcleanandtidy.No.6—neverforgettosayexcuseme,thankyouandplease.

SocialEtiquetteTaboosDon’tlookatotherdirectionswhileshakinghands.arrogantexpressionDon’taskaboutage,weight,salary.—touchiestsubjectsDon’treceiveguestsinpajamas.impoliteDon’tleaveoverwithfoodinyourmealplate.lackofcourtesyDon’tcallblack“Negro”.“13”and“Friday”–ominousDon’tsendagiftwhosepriceisloworwithatrademarkonit.TaboosDon’tbeexcessivelymodest.—hypocriticalDon’ttakeoffyourshoesorwalkwithbarefoot.—nativeinthejungleTheshoe-lacecanonlybeloosenedortiedintheplacewherethereisnobody.Don’tputoutyourtongueatpeople.–insultingAvoidusingbatsymbolsominousDon’taskaboutreligion,andmarriagestatus.Don’tgiveexpensivegiftsfornoreason.BeinginvitedtoanAmerican’shomeShouldyoutakeagift?Howshouldyoudress?Whattimeshouldyouarrive?Whatshouldyoudowhenyougetthere?MostAmericansconsiderthemselveshospitablepeople.InallpartsofAmerica,peoplewelcometheirguestswithopenarms.Justmakeyourselfathome.That’swhathospitalityisallabout:makingpeoplefeelathomewhenthey’renot.GiftAguestisnotobligatedtobringapresent.Somepeopledobringasmalltokenofappreciationtotheirhost.Appropriategiftsforgeneraloccasionsmightbeflowers,candyor-ifthefamilyhassmallchildren-toys.Ifyouchoosenottobringagift,don’tworry.Noonewillevennotice.DinnerMostAmericansagreethatgoodhomecookingbeatsrestaurantfoodanyday.Wheninvitedforameal,youmightask,“ShouldIbringanything?"Unlessit’sapotluck(whereeveryonebringsadish),thehostwillprobablyrespond,"No,justyourself."Formostinformaldinners,youshouldwearcomfortable,casualclothes.Plantoarriveontime,orelsecalltoinformyourhostsofthedelay.Duringthedinnerconversation,it’scustomarytocomplimentthehostessonthewonderfulmeal.Whatdoyoudoifyou’reservedfoodyoudon’tlikeorcan’teatforreligiousormedicalreasons?Insituationslikethese,eatwhateveryoucanandhopethatnoonenoticeswhatisleft.Ifquestioned,admitthatyoudon’teatmeat(orwhatever),butsaythatyou’veenjoyedtheotherfoodsandhavehad“morethanenough”toeat.youmightoffertoclearthetableorwashthedishes.Butsinceyou’retheguest,yourhostsmaynotletyou.Don’tleaveimmediatelyafterdinner.Instead,theymayinviteeveryonetomovetothelivingroomfordessertwithteaorcoffee.Afteranhourorsoofgeneralchit-chat,it’sprobablytimetoheadforthedoor.Youdon’twanttowearoutyourwelcome.Andaboveall,don’tgosnoopingaroundthehouse.It’smorepolitetowaitforthehosttoofferyouaguidedtour.Butexceptforhousewarmings,guestsoftendon’tgetpastthelivingroom.DressingYoushouldlookupfortherequirementfordressingintheinvitationletterorconsultotherswhenyouwillattendanimportantoccasion.Itdoesn’tmeanyoucanwearjeansiftheinvitationsayscasual.Neithercanyouleaveyourtieifitsayssemi-formal.Manshouldweardarkcolorsuitandwomanskirtattireonformaloccasions.Dark-coloredsuitshouldbematchedwithblackleathershoesandsocksofdarkcolors.Skirtpendulum['pɛndʒələm]ofeveningdressshouldbelongenoughto