高中英语作文-读后续写(励志类)主题训练-(勇敢奶奶勇斗劫车歹徒)

PAGEPAGE12020山东潍坊二模英语读后续第二节（满分25分）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。Ireceivedanurgentcallfrommyaunt."TurnontheTV.Granny'sontheChannel10news."ItturnedoutthatGrannyhadmadeasandwichrunforherofficeandwasstoppedataredlightdowntown.Shehadthewindowrolleddowntoenjoythebreezewhenamanrusheduptothedriver'ssidewindow,intendingtocarjack（劫车）her.Now,whatthewould-becarjackercouldn'thaveknownwasthatthiswomansimplywasn't"agranny".ThiswasNancyJohnson—thesamewomanwhoownedandlivedonaTexascattlefarm,droveherowntractors,anddugherownpostholestolayfence.Theweekbefore,shehadshotarattlesnakeandchoppedoffitsheadwithashovel.Shewastheproudownerofthenewminivan（小型货车）shewasdriving.Inotherwords,shewasnotyournormalkindofgranny.Thecarjackerleanedintotheopenwindow,onehandstuffedinhispocket,andsaid,"Getoutofthiscar.Ihaveagun,andIwillshootyou.”Astatementlikethatwouldhaveterrifiedanyoneelse.Instead,Grannysawitasachallenge."Ifyoureallyhadaguninyourpocket,youwould'vepulleditoutandledwiththatfirst,"sheshoutedathim,apparentlyunworried.Shewasright.Thecriminaldidn'thaveagun.Heinsteadreachedintothewindow,grabbedher,andtriedtopullheroutofthevan.Hepulledopenthedoor,wildlycatchingGranny'sarms.Grannyleanedhershoulderinsidetopressthehorn（喇叭)

andstartedyellingtomakepeoplearoundnoticewhatwashappening.Withthedoornowopen,sheheldtightthesteeringwheelwithonearmandstartedkickingthemananywhereherfootcouldmakecontact.Thistallwomanhadquiteareach.paragraph1：Afterawell-placedkick,themanwasdone,andattemptedtoreleaseherandrun.____paragraph2:Later,weasked?Granny,don’tyourealizeyoucouldhavegotyourselfkilled?”___构思：本文是一篇读后续写。本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知，作者的奶奶开车上街。在停车等红绿灯的时候遇到了拦路抢劫犯。作者的奶奶没有被吓到，反而在路上和抢劫犯做斗争。抓住了抢劫犯，并因此上了电视。续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：在踢了一脚后，这名男子被击倒，并试图放开她并逃跑……，所以这一段应该写歹徒试图逃跑而奶奶伙同其他人制服歹徒，并因此上了电视。要详细写奶奶是如何抓住那个歹徒的。第二段开头是：后来，我们问:“奶奶，难道你没有意识到你会被人盯上吗?”本段应该写奶奶不畏惧任何坏人。并且通过奶奶的事迹，教会了我们一些人身哲理：我们要无所畏惧。文章思路清晰，语言规范，段落整齐，语篇连贯，层次清晰。使用了较为高级的句式:with的复合结构WithGrannyleadingthecharge,agroupofstrangerscametogetherandpinnedthemantothesidewalk,holdinghimthereuntilthepolicecame；定语从句：Butwealllearnedanimportantlessonfromherthatday-thesamelessonthathadbeenbuildingthroughtheyears等。高级句式的应用提升了写作的档次，整个短文显示出了作者高水平的英语表达能力。答案：Afterawell-placedkick,themanwasdone,andattemptedtoreleaseherandrun.ButGrannywouldn’tstandforthat.Itwasnowherturntograbontohim,herhandsmadestrongfromhoursandhoursoffarmwork.Thatpoorfooldidn’thaveachance.Sheshoutedforhelptobystanders,andtheyrushedtoheraid.WithGrannyleadingthecharge,agroupofstrangerscametogetherandpinnedthemantothesidewalk,holdinghimthereuntilthepolicecame.Asilver-hairedwomanhadjustmadeacitizen’sarrest.Later,weasked“Granny,don’tyourealizeyoucouldhavegotyourselfhilled?”Granny’sanswerwassurprisinglyamusingandsimple:“Iwasn’tscaredofthatlittleidiot.I’dhadmybrand-newvanforlessthantwodaysandapackofgoodsandwichesformyoffice.Andtherewasnowayhewasgoingtogeteitherofthose!”Butwealllearnedanimportantlessonfromherthatday-thesamelessonthathadbeenbuildingthroughtheyears.Sheencouragedustopushboundariesandexpectations.Butevenmoreso,shetaughtusfearlessness.读后续写问题与建议一、问题：1.原文阅读理解不到位。人物身份混乱，不知道thetallwoman就是granny；没有找准故事情节发展伏笔，与原文情景融洽度不高。2．提示句理解不到位。第一段提示句暗示granny在搏斗中逐渐占据上风，劫车贼企图松手逃跑，这时应该写granny不放手，如何成功将其抓住的。但学生习作中，许多学生还是继续描写劫车贼拿出刀子，继续搏斗，或者逃脱成功，granny开车追赶等情节，与提示句和原文衔接不够。第二段提示句中暗示续写部分应该写granny当时的心理变化和从granny身上学到的优秀品质（勇敢，无畏，冷静）。但许多学生偏离主题，变成寻求帮助或帮助别人。或者主题升华太高，把这种行为当成一种责任。3．语言表达错误，1)语言表达不地道，词汇和句式表达不丰富2）仍然存在汉语式思维表达。如：grannycrashedthecar.;inanobodystreet;thephonedon’t’useful；3）词性不分，仅仅是单词的罗列。如：meetdifficultordangerous;Grannywasbravery.4)不规则动词变化掌握不牢。如：catch；know5)单词拼写错误。语法错误较多，基本句子结构写不对。1）runcan’tsolvetheproblems.

2）thephonedon’tuseful3)

suddenly,hetakentheknife;

4)

wepreventhegothimselfkilled.；5)

thecarjackerwerecaught.;

6）Iknowhowprotectmyself.7）书写虽好，但句不成句。句与句之间缺少衔接过渡。4.字数不够，书写潦草，卷面划痕多，书写不规范。5.存在抄袭原文的现象。二、建议：1.拓宽阅读视野，开设专题教学读后续写的文本体裁多为故事类的记叙文，教师应开设与此相关的专题教学课程，体验语言的赏析思用，如文学类的短篇小说和经典美文的欣赏及读写整合课，把语言知识融汇到经典语篇中去慢慢体验，利用原著小说开发读写微技能，拓宽学生的文学和文化视野，感悟情感教育，掌握解读英语短篇小说的基本原理和技巧，提高文本解读能力和批判性思维能力。2.改进学习方式，激活主动学习日常教学以活动为主线，以学生为主体，把阅读的自主权还给学生，放慢读写节奏，让学生慢阅读，细品味。采用学生自由阅读和小组合作分享相结合的方式，让学生在研读、探究、体验、合作中，与文本对话、与作者对话、与同伴交流，从而丰富自我。试题讲评要容许学生个性化观点和不同答案，倡导读写整合教学，提升高阶思维，把课堂真正还给学生。3.重视语言训练，提倡得体表达在日常的教学中要重视从原文作者的视角剖析语言，还原作者使用语言的初衷，