商务函电基本知识教材

1TheGeneralPrinciples

of

BusinessWriting

Chapter12

ObjectivesIdentifyandunderstandthesevenCs’principleofbusinesscommunication.

GrasptheguidelinesforthesevenCs.213

ThesevenCs’principleThe“sevenCs”

arethegeneralprinciplesofbusinessletterwriting.claritycourtesycorrectnesscompleteness

concisenessconsideration

concretenessThesevenCs441.Completeness完整性Completenessmeansyourmessagecontainsallfactsthereceiverneedsforthereactionyoudesire.

GuidelinesforCompleteness:完整性指南Provideallnecessaryinformation.提供所有必须的信息Answerallquestionsasked.回答所有问及的问题Givesomethingextrawhendesirable.提供必要的额外信息51.Completeness完整性Provideallnecessaryinformation.

提供所有必须的信息

OnewaytohelpmakeyourmessagecompleteistoanswerthefiveWquestions—who,what,when,where,why.(Seethee.g.nextpage)61.Completeness完整性Example:IncompleteinquiryWeneedtobuyaslittingline(纵剪机组).Pleasesendmeyourquotationassoonaspossible.

Question:Ifyouareasupplerofsuchequipment,areyougoingtosendaquotionbasedontheaboveinformation??71.Completeness完整性AnswerAllQuestionsAsked

回答所有问及的问题Wheneveryoureplytoaninquiry,trytoanswerallquestions,includingexplicitlystatedandalsoimpliedquestions.(Seethee.g.nextpage)81.Completeness完整性

Forexample:

Asoftwaredistributor,whenreplyingtoadealer’sletter,answeredonlyfourofsevenquestions.Becausetheoriginalquestionswereunnumberedandsomewhatburiedinfivelongparagraphs,therespondentapparentlyoverlookedordisregardedthreeoftheseven.Thereply,incompleteandunfriendly,causedthedistributortolosethebusinessandgoodwillofapotentialcustomer.91.Completeness完整性GiveSomethingExtraWhenDesirable

提供必要的额外信息Sometimesyoumustdomorethananswerthecustomers’specificquestions.Theymaynotknowwhattheyneed,ortheirquestionsmaybeinadequate.Sothewords“whendesirable”,intheaboveheadingarenecessary.(Seethee.g.nextpage)101.Completeness完整性Forexample:"PleasefaxmeinreturnthedeparturesfromSingaporetoHongKongonthe8th.“Inrespondingtotheaboveyouwouldhaveto“givesomethingextra”astotimesofday,airlinesflyingthatroute,costs,anddepartureandarrivaltimes.11112.Conciseness简明性Concisenessissayingwhatyouhavetosayinthefewestpossiblewordswithoutsacrificingcompletenessandcourtesy.Guidelinesforconciseness:简明性指南

Eliminatewordyexpressions.避免冗余的词句

Includeonlyrelevantmaterial.避免不相关的信息

Avoidunnecessaryrepetition.避免不必要的重复122.Conciseness简明性EliminateWordyExpressions

避免冗余的词句Thefollowingaresomesuggestionsyoucanusetoreducewordinessinyourcommunication：

(Seethechartnextpage)132.Conciseness简明性Omitunnecessaryandmisguidingexpressions,forinstance:

FRESHFISHFORSALEHERETODAYFRESHFISHFORSALEHEREFRESHFISHFORSALEFRESHFISHFISH

142.Conciseness简明性Usingsingle-wordinsteadofphraseswheneverpossible,Suchas:Wordy:Atthemoment,AtthistimeConcise:Now(concise)Wordy:WithregardtoConcise:RegardingWordy:DuetothefactthatConcise:BecauseWordy:HaveneedforConcise:Need152.Conciseness简明性ForExample:Wordy:Weherebywishtoletyouknowthatourcompanyispleasedwiththeconfidenceyouhaveinus.Concise:Weappreciateyourconfidence.Wordy:AtthistimeIamwritingtoyoutoencloseaninterviewcardforthepurposeofarrangingaconvenienttimewhenwemightgettogetherforapersonalinterview.Concise:Pleasereturntheenclosedinterviewcardtosetupaconvenienttimeforaninterview.162.Conciseness简明性Omittrite,unnecessaryexpressions,suchas"pleasebeinformedthat".Herearesomeexamples:Pleasebeinformedthatwehavereceivedyourfirstshipment.Wehavereceivedyourfirstshipment.Pleaseallowmetosayyourcommentsonourproposalwereveryhelpful.Yourcommentsonourproposalwereveryhelpful.Enclosedpleasefindtwocopiesofourillustratedcatalogues.Enclosedaretwocopiesofourillustratedcatalogues.

172.Conciseness简明性Avoidunnecessaryrepetition.Useashorternameafteryouhavementionedordefinedthelongoneonce.Usepronounsorinitialsratherthanrepeatlongnames.Cutoutallneedlessrepetitionofphrasesandsentences,e.g.:UniversityofScienceandTechnologyBeijing(USTB),andthenyoucanuseUSTBhereinafter.

北京科技大学(北科大)Roth&RauPlasmaandSurfaceTechnologyGmbH,thenyoucanuseRoth&RauGmbHorRoth&Rauonlyinsteadofthefullname.182.Conciseness简明性IncludeOnlyRelevantMaterial

只使用相关的信息Tobesureyouincludeonlyrelevantinformation,observethefollowingadvice:SticktothepurposeofthemessageDeleteirrelevantwordsandloosesentencesOmitinformationthereceiveralreadyknowsAvoidlongintroductions,unnecessaryexplanations,excessiveadjectivesandprepositionsandsoonGettotheimportantpointtactfullyandconcisely(Seethee.g.nextpage)192.Conciseness简明性AvoidUnnecessaryRepetition

避免不必要的重复Useashorternameafteryouhavementionedordefinedthelongoneonce.Usepronounsorinitialsratherthanrepeatlongnames.Cutoutallneedlessrepetitionofphrasesandsentences.

20Amanagertellshisstaff:“concisenessisoneofthebasicrequirementsofeffectivecommunicationinbusinessworld.So……………..”thereportsaretobesubmittedbyemployeespriorto5:00p.m.,atwhichtheywillbereceivedbyMr.Smiththereportsaretobesubmittedbyemployeesbefore5:00p.m.,atwhichtheywillbereceivedbyMr.Smiththereportsaretobesubmittedbyemployeespriorto5:00p.m.,sincetheyhavetobereceivedbyMr.SmithbeforethattimesubmityourreportstoMr.Smithby5:00p.m.pleaseemployeesshallsubmittheirreportstoMr.Smithbefore5:00p.m.Answer:B

QUIZ21213.Consideration体谅性Considerationmeansthatyouprepareeverymessagewiththereceiverinmindandtrytoputyourselfinhisorherplace.Guidelinesforconsideration:体谅性指南

Focuson“You”inPositiveSituations正面情形多使用“您”

DepersonalizeinSensitiveSituations敏感情形避用人称

Showreaderbenefitorinterestinthereader.强调读者的利益和兴趣

Emphasizepositive,pleasantfacts.强调肯定的积极的信息223.Consideration体谅性Focuson“You”inPositiveSituations正面情形多使用“您”

Youhadbettertrytouse“you”or“your”insteadof“we”,“our”,“us”and“I”etc.inpositiveorneutralsituations.(Seethee.g.nextpage)23Example:We-attitudeMayItakethisopportunitytoexpressmythanksfortheaccountyourecentlyopenedwithourstore.Wearepleasedtofurnishawidevarietyofproductsforthehomeorindividual.Wewantyoutotakefulladvantageofourstoreservices,forwehavethelargeststockinthecity.Alsowemakedeliveriesofourcustomers’purchasesfreeofchargewithin30milesofourstore.Wealwaysliketoreceivevisitsfromourcustomers,butwealsofillordersbyphone.Ourcustomerservicedepartmentaimstofilleveryorderwithinthesamedaywereceiveit.Whenshoppingatourstoredowntown,customersareinvitedtousethefreecustomerparkingprivilegeprovidedjustacrossthestreetforus.WewelcomeyoutoBekinson.Ifwecanbeofadditionalserviceinanymanner,pleasecallonus.Theabovewe-attitudelettercontains20I-my-we-our-us’pronounsandonlythreeYou.24Example:You-attitudeThankyoufortheaccountyourecentlyopenedatBekinson.Servingyouwithyourneedsforclothingandhomefurnishingsisapleasure.Youwillfind32departmentsatBekinsonstockedwithavarietyofqualityitems.Andcourteoussalesclerksareheretoassistyouinselectingthemerchandisethatbestmeetsyourrequirements.Ifyouprefertoshopwithinthecomfortofyourhome,insteadofcomingtothestore,youneedonlytotelephone866-8888andaskforPersonalShoppingService.”APersonalShopperwillgladly25Example:You-attitude(continued)takeyourorderforanynumberofitems,answeryourquestionsaboutbrandsandsizesavailable,andseethatthegoodsyouorderreachyoubystoredeliverywithinafewdays.WhenyoushopatBekinsondowntown,youareinvitedtousethefreecustomerparkingprivilegeprovidedjustacrossthestreet.YouarealwayswelcomeatBekinson.Pleasecallonuswheneveryouneedadditionalservice.ThissecondrewrittenYou-attitude’lettercontains18You-yours”andonlyoneus’pronouns263.Consideration体谅性DepersonalizeinSensitiveSituations

敏感情形避用人称Innegativesituationssometimesavoiding"you"canreducepotentialdefensivenessEmployingthepassivevoice,makingthereceiverpartofagroupordepersonalizingthesituationcanavoidtheuseof"you"inthenegativesituations.Emphasizepositive,pleasantfactsinsteadofnegative.273.Consideration体谅性--ExamplesOffensive:Sinceyoufailedtomakethedownpayment,wecouldnotkeeptheroomreservationforyouafter6:00p.m.Considerate:Thereservationwasautomaticallycanceledsincethedownpaymentwasnotreceivedbefore6:00p.m.283.Consideration体谅性ShowAudienceBenefit

展现读者的利益

Wheneverpossible,showhowyourreceiverswillbenefitfromwhatevermessageyoumayconvey.(Seethee.g.nextpage)293.Consideration体谅性ForExample:“Youwillbegladtoknowthatwenowhaveawalk-upwindowopen7-9A.M.and3-8P.M.everyweekday”.Somereaderswonder,“Sowhat?”thefollowingrevisedsentenceincludesreaderbenefit:“YoucannowtakecareofyourbankingneedsatournewWalk-UpWindow.Itisopenwithacapabletellertoserveyou7-9A.M.and3-8P.M.MondaythroughFriday.”303.Consideration体谅性Emphasizepositivefacts

强调积极的信息

Thismeansstressingwhatcanbedoneinsteadofwhatcannotbedone,andfocusingonwordsyourrecipientcanconsiderfavorably.(Seethee.g.nextpage)313.Consideration体谅性-ExamplesNegative:Wewillnoteffectthelast5%paymentifyoucannotputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2011.Positive:Youwillreceivethelast5%paymentifyoucanputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2011.32QuizConsiderationisoneofthebusinesscommunicationprinciples,whichmeansthat……………...oneshouldprepareeverymessagewithmessagereceiverinmindandtrytoputoneselfinmessagereceiver’splace.oneshouldconsiderandprepareeverymessagethatmessagereceivermaywanttohave.oneshouldconsidereverymessagetobesenttomessagereceiververycarefully.oneshouldconsidertosendonlythosemessagesthatmessagereceivermayneedyoushouldconsiderwhatthemessagereceiverwants.Answer:A33QuizWhichoneisthebestchoice?ItwasknowbyourpresidentthatwemustmakethecontractgoodsreadyforshipmentbyOctober30.OurpresidentknowsthecontractgoodsmustbereadyforshipmentbyOctober30.ItwasknowbyourpresidentthatwemustmakethecontractgoodsreadyforshipmentbyOctober30.ItwasknowbyourpresidentthatthecontractgoodsshouldbereadyforshipmentbyOctober30.Ourpresidentknowsthecontractgoodsmustbereadyforshipmentassoonaspossible.Answer:B34Quiz

Whichoneofthefollowingstatementsisbetter?…...Wewillnotmakethelastfivepercent(5%)paymentofthetotalcontractvalueifyoucannotputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2007.Wewillmakethelastfivepercent(5%)paymentofthetotalcontractvalueifyoucanputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2007.Youwillnotgetthelastfivepercent(5%)paymentofthetotalcontractvalueifyoucannotputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2007.Youwillgetthelastfivepercent(5%)paymentofthetotalcontractvalueifyoucanputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2007.Wewillmakethelastfivepercent(5%)paymentifyoustillcannotputthecontractequipmentintooperationandpasstheacceptancetestbytheendofOctober2007.Answer:D35354.Concreteness具体性Concretenessmeansbeingspecific,definite,andvividratherthanvagueandgeneral.Guidelinesforconcreteness:具体性指南Usespecificfactsandfigures.使用具体的信息和数据Putactioninyourverbs.尽量使用动词Choosevivid,image-buildingwords.使用生动形象的用语364.Concreteness具体性UseSpecificFactsandFigures

使用具体的信息和数据

Wheneverpossible,useanexact,precisestatementorafigureinplaceofageneralwordtomakeyourmessagemoreconcrete.(Seethee.g.nextpage)374.Concreteness具体性-ExampleVague:Pleasesendyourproposaltousassoonaspossible.Concrete:PleasesendyourproposaltousbeforeOctober10.Vague:ThereisabigmarketpotentialforyourproductsinChina.Concrete:TheestimatedannualmarketdemandforyourproductsinChinaisabout5000tons.384.Concreteness具体性PutActioninYourVerbs

尽量使用动词

Thatistohavedynamicsentences:UseactiveratherthanpassiveverbsPutactioninyourverbsratherthaninnouns.Putactioninyourverbsratherthanininfinitives.(Seethee.g.nextpage)394.Concreteness具体性-ExampleInstantcoffeeisboughtbyhousewives.Thesamplewillbesenttoyoubyourretailer.Housewivesbuyinstantcoffee.Ourretailerwillsendyouthesample.PassivevoiceActivevoice40QuizWhichofthefollowingisthebestchoice?Thecataloguesthatareenclosedcangiveyouasharppictureofourcompanyandtheproductsandservicesthatwecanoffer.Thecataloguesthatareenclosedcangiveyouasharppictureofourcompanyandtheproductsandservices.Thecataloguescangiveyouasharppictureofourcompanyandtheproductsandservicesthatwecanoffer.Thecatalogues,thatareenclosed,cangiveyouasharppictureofourcompanyandtheproductsandservicesthatwecanoffer.Theenclosedcataloguescangiveyouasharppictureofourcompany,ourproductsandservices.Answer:E414.Concreteness具体性ChooseVivid,Image-BuildingWords使用生动形象的用语Tomakeyourmessagesforceful,vivid,andspecific,youcanusesuchdevicesassensoryappeals,comparisons,figurativelanguage,concretenouns,andwell-chosenadjectivesandadverbs.(Seethee.g.nextpage)42425.Clarity清楚性Claritymeansgettingyourmessageacrosssothatthereaderwillnotmisunderstandwhatyouaretryingtoconvey.Guidelinesforclarity:清楚性指南Chooseprecise,concreteandfamiliarwords.选择准确、具体、常用的词语Constructeffectivesentencesandparagraphs.有效地组织句子和段落435.Clarity清楚性ChoosePreciseConcreteandFamiliarWords

选择准确具体和常用的词语Whenyouhaveachoicebetweenalongwordandashortone,usetheshort,familiarwordthatyourreaderwillquicklyunderstand.Also,usesynonymsinsteadofunfamiliarLatinterms.(Seethecasenextpage)445.Clarity清楚性-ExampleCase:

AplumberwrotetheNationalBureauofStandardstotellthemhydrochloricacidisgoodforcleaningoutcloggeddrains.(Beforeyougoanyfurtherintothestory,visualizetheplumber.Itisaprettygoodguessheisn’tacollegegraduate—maybehedidn’tfinishhighschool.)Inreplytotheplumber’smessage,atechnicalspecialistofthebureauwrote:

Theefficiencyofhydrochloricacidisindisputable,butthecorrosiveresidueisincompatiblewithmetallicpermanence.455.Clarity清楚性-Example

Theplumberthenwrotetothankthebureauforagreeingwithhim—when,ofcourse,thebureauwasactuallydisagreeingwithhim.Sensingtheplumberdidn’tunderstand,anothermembertriedtosetthemanstraightbywriting:Wecannotassumeresponsibilityfortheproductionoftoxicandnoxiousresiduewithhydrochloricacid,andsuggestyouuseanalternativeprocedure.465.Clarity清楚性-ExampleCase:

Againtheplumberthankedthebureau.Then,indesperation,thedepartmentmanagerwrote:Don’tusehydrochloricacid.Iteatshelloutofthepipes.Aswehavesaidandwillsaythroughoutthebook,understandingthereaderhelpswriterschoosefamiliarwordsandrightleveloflanguage.475.Clarity清楚性ConstructEffectiveSentencesandParagraphs

有效地组织句子和段落(Seethecasenextpage)485.Clarity清楚性-ExampleHisinvestigationreportwasaboutconsumers,brokendownbyageandgender.Hisinvestigationreportfocusedonageandgenderofconsumers.Or,Hisinvestigationreportaboutconsumersfocusedonageandgender.UnclearClear495.Clarity清楚性-ExampleExampleoflackofcoherence:

J.Alexandercalledthelocalnewspaperandtoldthemthathewantedtoputanad.Onthefirstday,theadreads:

Forsale:J.AlexanderhasoneTVsetforsale.Phone543-1111.Callafter7:00p.m.andaskMrs.Mintonwholiveswithhim,cheap.505.Clarity清楚性-ExampleExampleoflackofcoherence:Nextday'sadlookslikethis:

WeregrethavingerredinJ.Alexander'sadyesterday.Itshouldread:Forsale,J.Alexander,oneTVsetforsale.Cheap.Phone543-1111andaskforMrs.Mintonwholiveswithhimafter7:00p.m.515.Clarity清楚性-ExampleExampleoflackofcoherence:Again,thepapermadeanotherclarification:J.Alexanderhasinformedushehasreceivedseveralannoyingphonecallsbecauseofanerrorwemadeinhisclassifiedadyesterday.Hisadstandscorrected:Forsale,J.AlexanderhasoneTVsetforsale.Cheap.Phone543-1111after7:00p.m.andaskforMs.Mintonwholiveswithhim”.525.Clarity清楚性-ExampleExampleoflackofcoherence:Finalversion:J.AlexanderhasnoTVset.Ismashedit.Don'tcall543-1111;thetelephonehasbeentakenout.IhavenotbeencarryingonwithMrs.Minton.Untilyesterday,shewasmyhousekeeper”.53536.Courtesy礼貌性Courtesyisnotmerelypolitenesswithmechanicalinsertionsof“please”and“thankyou”.Rather,truecourtesyneedstousetactfultoneandrespectiveexpressions.Guidelinesforcourtesy:礼貌性指南Besincerelytactful,thoughtfulandappreciative.使用得体诚恳的词句Useexpressionsthatshowrespect.使用表示尊敬的词句Choosenondiscriminatoryexpressions.使用非歧视性的词句546.Courtesy礼貌性BeSincerelyTactfulandAppreciative

使用得体诚恳的词句Writerswhosendcordial,courteousmessagesofdeservedcongratulationsandappreciation.(Seethee.g.nextpage)556.Courtesy礼貌性-ExampleYouspeaktoofastandunclear.Icannotfullyunderstandwhatyouasked.Canyourepeatitplease?Myunderstandingofwhatyouaskedis(expresswhatyouunderstood).Pleasecorrectmeifmyunderstandingiswrong.TactlessTactful566.Courtesy礼貌性UseExpressionsThatShowRespect使用表示尊敬的词句Avoidusingirritatingexpressions.Herearesomeirritatingexpressionsthatyoushalltrytoavoidusinginyourcommunication:(Seethee.g.nextpage)576.Courtesy礼貌性-ExampleYouclaimthatYouforgotthatYouleaveusnochoiceYouoverlookedtoItisinexcusableYoumustYouhavetoWedonotbelieve586.Courtesy礼貌性ChooseNon-discriminatoryExpressions

使用非歧视性的词句Non-discriminatorylanguagereflectsequaltreatmentofpeopleregardlessofgender,race,ethnicorigin,andphysicalfeatures.(Seethee.g.nextpage)596.Courtesy礼貌性-ExampleFreshmanManpowerMan-madeChairman…First-yearstudentsWorkers;