学术英语写作（初阶） Unit 01

总主编刘美岩通用学术英语写作（初阶）研究生通用学术英语系列教程WritingeffectivesentencesUnit1

SentencesarebasicunitsofEnglishlanguage,sobeingabletomanagesentencesisessentialforanyonewhowishestowriteeffectively.Thischapterwillfocusonsentencewritingfromthefollowingaspects:basicsentencestructures,effectivesentences,transitionswithinandbetweensentences,andappropriatedictioninasentence.1.2Writingeffectivesentences1.1Fourbasicsentencestructures1.3DictioninsentencesCONTENTS目录Fourbasicsentencestructures1.11.1Fourbasicsentencestructures1.1.1Simplesentences1.1.2Compoundsentences1.1.3Complexsentences1.1.4Compound-complexsentences

StructuresofasimplesentenceAsimplesentenceisasentencewithonlyoneindependentclause.Itcanbeconstructedinvariousways.1.1.1Simplesentences1.1.1Simplesentences(2)ExpandingsimplesentencesAsimplesentenceisnotalwaysashortsentence.Byaddingmodifyingwordsorphrases,asimplesentencecanbeexpandedtoexpressideasclearlyandcompletely.Therearefourwaystoaugmentasimplesentence.1.1.1SimplesentencesByaddingPrepositionalphrases

①Wearelosingwildlifeatanever-increasingscale

acrosstheplanet,withimpactstoecosystemsvitalforourownglobalfoodproduction.②Thereareawiderangeofphysical,chemicalandbiologicaltestsavailable,eachwiththegoalto

detectoneormultiple(in)organiccontaminants.③PresidentXiJinpingchecksthetreatmentofhospitalizedpatients

atthemonitoringcenterandtalkstomedicalstaffonduty

atBeijingDitanHospital.

Byaddingpresentparticiplephrases①Pollutioncanleadtoanextinctionoftheentirefoodchaincreatingdeadzones.②Overthepastfiveyears,therehavebeenhugeadvancesinartificialintelligence,enablingmachinestosurpasshumansincertainkindsofinformation.③Hediesin1985,leavinghiswifeandfourchildren.Byaddingpastparticiplephrases①

Praisedbytheteacher,hebecametheprideofhisparents.②

Givenmoretime,wecoulddoitbetter.③Hewalkedintotheclassroom,hisheadlowered.Byaddinginfinitivephrases

①PresidentXivowstowinpeople'swaragainstnovelcoronavirus.②Afterthemeeting,theyparted,nevertoseeeachotheragain.③Hegottothestationonlytofindthetrainhadgone.Byaddingadjectivephrases①Overallpollutionisthelargestenvironmentalcauseofdiseaseanddeathintheworldtoday,responsibleforanestimated9millionprematuredeaths.②Foramomenthestoodthere,unabletomovehisfeet.③Crusoestaredatthefootprint,fulloffear.(3)FunctionsofshortsimplesentencesShortsimplesentencesareusuallyemphatic;theycaneffectivelyemphasizeanimportantidea,sotheyoftenserveasatopicsentence.Also,whenusedwithlongersentences,theycanprovidevariety.

1.1.1SimplesentencesExamplesAnalysis①WaterPollutionhassevereeffectsontheenvironment.Forone,itaffectshumanhealth.Accordingtoastudypublishedin

TheLancet,overallpollutionisthelargestenvironmentalcauseofdiseaseanddeathintheworldtoday,responsibleforanestimated9millionprematuredeaths.1.8milliondeathswerecausedbythepollutionofwatersourcesin2015.

Inthisparagraph,theshortsimplesentence“WaterPollutionhassevereeffectsontheenvironment.”isusedastheopeningsentencewhichatthesametimealsoservesasthetopicsentenceoftheparagraphandthenfollowedupwithlongersentencesthatfillindetails.ExamplesAnalysis②

Dreamsarewindowsintoworldsbeyondtheordinary.Somepeoplehavedreamsthatgivethemguidanceaboutthesmallestdetailsoftheirdailylifealongwithprofoundspiritualinsights.Othersexperienceunconditionalandtransformingloveintheirdreams.Forexample,awomanfromtheMidwestfoundsuchloveinherdreamsafterhermotherdied.Inaseriesofdreams,shemetwithhermother.Astheyvisitedtogether,thedaughterwasfilledwiththelovetheyhaveforeachother.Thesedreamshelpedthewomandealwithhersorrow.Thefirstshortsentenceisthetopicoftheparagraphthatcangrabthereaders’attentionimmediately.Thenexamplesaregiventoillustratethetopic.(4)PointsforattentionAseriesofshortsimplesentencescanmakethewritingchoppyandchildish,soweshouldavoidexcessiveuseofshortsimplesentencesbycombiningthemintolongsentencestoaddvarietytoourwriting.Pleaselookatthefollowingexamples.1.1.1SimplesentencesOriginalRevisedThedancerwasnottall.Thedancerwasnotslender.Thedancerwasextremelyelegant.(choppyandchildish)

Thedancerwasneithertallnorslenderbutextremelyelegant./Neithertallnorslender,thedancerwasextremelyelegantnonetheless.(moresophisticatedsimplesentence)ShewasourLatinteacher.Wewereinhighschool.Shewastiny.Shewasabirdlikewoman.Shewasswarthy.Shehaddarkeyes.Hereyesweresparkling.Herhairwasgraying.(choppyandchildish)OurLatinteacherinhighschoolwasabirdlikewoman,tinyandswarthy,withgrayinghairanddark,sparklingeyes.(moresophisticatedsimplesentence)

StructureofacompoundsentenceAcompoundsentencehasatleasttwoindependentclausesthatarecloselyrelatedandhaveequalorsimilarimportancewithnosubordinate(dependent)clauses.1.1.2Compoundsentences

StructureofaCompoundSentenceExamplesClause1+comma(,)+coordinatingconjunction+clause2CoordinatingConjunction:(FANBOYS)for,and,nor,but,or,yet,soShedidnotcheatonthetest,foritwasthewrongthingtodo.Itwasgettingdark,andweweren'tnearthecabinyet.WehaveneverbeentoAsia,norhavewevisitedAfrica.Ireallyneedtogotowork,butIamtoosicktodrive.Wecangotothemovietonight,orwecanjusthangoutathome.Hedidn'twanttogotothedentist,yethewentanyway.

StructureofaCompoundSentenceExamplesClause1+semicolon(;)+clause2Iamhappytotakeyourdonation;anyamountwillbegreatlyappreciated.Thewaveswerecrashingontheshore;itwasalovelysight.

StructureofaCompoundSentenceExamplesClause1+semicolon(;)+transitionalexpression+comma(,)+clause2Mybrotherwastiredfromwork;therefore,hefellasleepassoonashearrivedinhisapartment.Heisthebestbusinessmaninthecorporateworld;additionally,heisalsoactiveinthemusicscene.Mybrotherisanexcellentsinger;asamatteroffact,heleadsamusicalband.Thejobofanurseistiresomeandstressful;nevertheless,mysisterstillfounditveryfulfilling.Herdedicationtoherpassionwasundeniablyimpressive;asaresult,shewasgivenanawardthatrecognizedherservice.(2)PointsforattentionIfaninformaltoneisrequired,sticktotheFANBOYS(for,and,nor,but,or,yet,so)conjunctions.Ifaformalorwell-educatedtoneisrequired,usesomesemicolonsorsemicolonplustransitionalwordsbecausethiscanaddsophisticationandvarietytowriting.1.1.2CompoundsentencesInwriting,wecanusecompoundsentenceswithcorrelativeconjunctionsortransitionalexpressionstoshowequalityofideasandforcethereadertonotetherelationshipbetweentheideasexpressed.Likewise,wecanalsousecompoundsentencestojointiny,choppyorrepetitivesentencesintoamoresophisticatedsentence.Forexample,1.1.2CompoundsentencesWewereshortofmoney.Wedecidednottoeatontheweekend.(tinyandchoppy)Wewereshortofmoney;therefore,wedecidednottoeatontheweekend.(moresophisticated)Venusisourclosestneighbor.ItisaboutthesamesizeasEarth.(tinyandchoppy)Venusisourclosestneighbor,anditisaboutthesamesizeasEarth.(moresophisticated)Mycarwouldn’tstartthismorning.Thebatterywasdead.(tinyandchoppy)Mycarwouldn’tstartthismorning,forthebatterywasdead.(moresophisticated)

StructureofaCompoundSentenceExamples

Reallygoodwritersstrivetowritemorecomplicatedsimplesentencesandcomplexsentencesthancompoundsentencesbecausetheformersoundmoresophisticatedandcanshowvariouskindsofrelationships.1.1.2Compoundsentences

StructureofacomplexsentenceAcomplexsentencehasonemain(independent)clauseandoneormoresubordinate(dependent)clauses.Theclausesarejoinedbysubordinatingconjunctionsorrelativepronouns.Asarule,themajorideaisexpressedinthemainclauseandtheideaorideasoflesserimportanceinthesubordinateclauses.Subordinateclausesincomplexsentencescanbeclassifiedintothreecategoriesaccordingtotheirgrammaticalfunctionsinthesentence.1.1.3ComplexsentencesTypesofdependentclausesSubdivisionExamplesnominalclausesubjectclauseWhyyoudidthatisamysterytome.Whateveryoudecidetodoisfinewithme.objectclauseTomhasalwaysbeengivenwhathewants.Idon’tknowifitisraining.appositiveclauseThefactthatyouarehereisreassuringtome.WeexpressthehopethattheywouldcomeandvisitChinaagain.predicativeclauseAtHalloween,youcanbewhoeveryouwant.Thequestioniswhetherhecandothejob.adjectiveclauserestrictiveclauseThosepeoplewhosenamesareonthelist

willgotocamp.Grandparememberstheolddayswhentherewasnotelevision.non-restrictiveclausePizza,whichmostpeoplelove,isnotveryhealthy.IenjoytellingpeopleaboutJanetEvanovich,whoselatestbookwasfantastic.TypesofdependentclausesSubdivisionExamplesadverbialclausetimeAssoonasyoutrustyourself,youwillknowhowtolive.Sinceshewentaway,Ihaven’tbeenabletosleep.placeIputitwherenobodywouldfindit.cause-effectSinceyouhaveapologized,youwillnotbepunished.resultShewassotiredthatshecouldnotstand.Ninaissuchagenerouspersonthatshe’softenshortofmoney.comparisonAntslovecandyasmuchashumansdo.Sheisnotsobrightasshethinkssheis.mannerMandylookedasifshehadseenaghost.Theroomwasdecoratedjustashehadimagined.contrast/

concessionWhileIusedtolovecandy,Idon’tlikeitanymore.Heworksashardaseveryoneelsealthoughheisnotstrong.purposePutitjusttheresothatitholdsthedooropen.LeaveabitforBeckyincaseshe’shungrywhenshegetsin.conditionIftheboyhasaburger,hewon’twanttoeatcarrots.Wewillmakeasnowmanifitsnowstomorrow.(2)PointsforattentionComplexsentencesjoinanindependentclausewithadependentclause.Theycanexpresscomplexideasclearlyandaccuratelybyshowingtherelativeimportanceandmarkingthepreciserelationofoneideatoanother,suchascauseandeffect,contrast,andtimerelationships,etc.Therefore,complexsentencesarebestusedwhenweexpandonthemainpoint,forinstance,whengivingasupportingexampleorexplainingourmainpoint.1.1.3ComplexsentencesComplexsentencescangathersmallchoppysentencesintomoregraceful,longersentences.Forexample:1.1.3ComplexsentencesDadgrilledthechicken.Mommixedthesalad.Thechildrensetupacroquetgame.Latertheywouldplay.First,theywouldeat.(smallchoppysentences)WhileDadgrilledthechickenandMommixedthesalad,thechildrensetupacroquetgamewhichtheywouldplayaftertheyate.(acomplexsentence,sophisticated)Theauthorwantedpeopleofallincomelevelstobeabletoreadherbook.Shestipulatedthatthebookbesoldforunderfivedollars.(smallchoppysentences)Theauthorstipulatedthatthebookbesoldforunderfivedollarssothatpeopleofallincomelevelswouldbeabletoreadherbook.(acomplexsentence,sophisticated)ExamplesAnalysis(1)Structureofacompound-complexsentenceAcompound-complexsentenceisacompoundsentenceonthewhole,butthereareoneormoresubordinateclausesinthecoordinatedclauses.1.1.4Compound-complexsentencesExample1:Hisblueeyeswerelight,brightandsparklingbehindhalf-moonedspectacles,andhisnosewasverylongandcrooked,asthoughithadbeenbrokenatleasttwice.Example2:ThedoorofthemorningroomwasopenasIwentthroughthehall,andIcaughtaglimpseofUncleTommessingaboutwithhiscollectionofoldsilver.Example3:Katedoesn’tlikecartoonsbecausetheyareloud,soshedoesn’twatchthem.Example4:

Whenyoungpeopleareexposedtoviolenceontelevision,theycanbeinfluencedbywhattheysee;therefore,itisimportantforparentstocommunicatewiththeirchildrenabouttheprogramstheywatch.（2）PointforattentionThecompound-complexsentenceconsistsoftwoormoreindependentclausesandoneormoredependentclauses.Thissentencestructureisessentialinrepresentingcomplexrelationships,soitisfrequentlyusedinvariousformsofanalyticalwriting,especiallyinacademicwriting.Inaddition,theabilitytousecompound-complexsentencescanreflectthewriter’swritingability:heorshecanbringtogetherinasinglesentencearangeofdifferentpiecesofinformationandordertheminproperrelationship.Whenhandledcarefully,thecompound-complexsentencesclarifythecomplexityandenablereaderstoseethevariousrelationshipsclearly.Butcompound-complexsentences,ifimproperlyhandled,maygetunwieldyinahurry.Therefore,goodwritersminimizetheiruse,generallyrestrictingthemtocertaindegree.Writingeffectivesentences1.21.2Writingeffectivesentences1.2.1Unity1.2.2Coherence1.2.3Conciseness1.2.4Variety

Aunifiedsentenceexpressesasinglecompletethought.Itdoesnotcontainideasthatarenotcloselyrelated,nordoesitexpressathoughtthatisnotcompletebyitself.Unitydoesnotmeanthatallsentenceshavetobeshortandsimple;itisoftennecessarytowritealongsentencewithmanypartsinit.Suchasentenceexpressesacentralideasupportedormodifiedbyvarioussubordinateideas,ortwoormorerelatedparallelideas.1.2.1UnityOriginalRevisedAnalysis

Wepaidaportertwodollarsfortakingourluggagetoourrooms,andthehotellobbywasveryelegant.Wepaidaportertwodollarsfortakingourluggagetoourrooms.Wefoundthehotellobbywasveryelegant.Thetwoideas,wepaidaportertwodollarsfortakingourluggagetoourroomsandthehotellobbywasveryelegant,havelittletodowitheachother.Thisiscalleda“catanddog”sentence.Theideasinthesentenceshouldbeputinseparatesentences.Humanbeingneedsdifferentmaterialstomaintaintheirlife,thereisnodoubtthatwaterplaysaveryimportantroleintheirdailylife.

Waterisveryimportanttohumanbeing,becauseweneedwatertomaintainourlife.Theoriginalsentenceisnotunifiedbecausethetwopartsarenotcloselyrelatedinmeaning.Therevisedoneismorelogical.这些例子令人迷惑Pointsforattention:Stickingtooneandonlyoneideapersentencedoesnotmeanthatsayingverylittleinasentenceisgood.Thereareplentyoflengthysentencesthatsticktooneidea.Ifwe’vegotastringofshortsentences,weshouldlookfortherelatedthoughtssothatwecancombinethemintoaunifiedsentence.Forexample,1.2.1UnityOriginal:

Iamawriter.Iwriteonline.Imostlywriteblogs.SometimesIwriteproductdescriptions.(problem:childish,notsufficientinformationisconveyedineachsentence.)Revised:Asanonlinewriter,Imostlywriteblogs,andsometimeswriteproductdescriptions.(moresophisticated)Analysis:Thesesentencesallrelatetoonlinewriting,sowecancombinethesesentencesintoonesentence.Donotsaytoomuchinasentence.Asentencewhichhastoomanyideasissaidtobe“overloaded”.Forexample:Therewasabeggarandhewasblindandhehadadogandhetookcareofhim.(problem:fourunrelatedideasarecontainedinonesentence)1.2.1UnityOriginal:Computersareusedwidelyinmostcountriesnow,andtheyareasignofprogress,andwemustensureeveryonehasaccesstothem.(Incorrectformula=SVandSVandSV.Themany“and”inthissentencespoilitsunity.)Revised:Computersareusedwidelyinmostcountriesnow,andtheyareasignofprogress.Wemustensureeveryonehasaccesstothem.(Correctformula=SVandSV.SV.)OR:Computersareusedwidelyinmostcountriesnow,andtheyareasignofprogress,sowemustensureeveryonehasaccesstothem.(Correctformula=SVandSV,soSV.)Donotuse“and”tooofteninasentence.Forexample:

Coherencemeansthatthereisaclearandreasonableconnectionbetweenparts.

Asentenceiscoherentwhenitswordsorpartsareproperlyconnectedandtheirrelationshipsunmistakablyclear.Itisnotcoherentifithas(1)misplacedmodifiers,(2)danglingmodifiers,(3)faultyparallelconstructions,(4)faultypronounreference,(5)confusingshiftsinpersonandnumber,orinvoice,tense,andmood.1.2.2Coherence(1)

Misplacedmodifiers

Misplacedmodifiersareaword,phrase,orclause,becauseofawkwardplacement,donotmodifyorexplainthewordsthewaythewriterintendsthemtodo.Misplacedmodifierschangethemeaningofthesentenceandsometimesevenmakeitridiculous.1.2.2CoherenceOriginalRevisedIlookedatthetreeIhadfelledwithmyhandsinmypockets.

(Itishardtofelldownfromtreeswithyourhandsinyourpockets.)Withmyhandsinmypockets,IlookedatthetreeIhadfelled.Weatethelunchthatwehadbroughtslowly.(misplacedadverb)Weslowlyatethelunchthatwehadbrought.Therainsthatthecropshadneededbadlydamagedtheroads.(Whichpartdoes“badly”modify?)Therainsthatthecropshadneededdamagedtheroadsbadly.OR:Therainsthatthecropshadbadlyneededdamagedtheroads.(2)DanglingmodifiersAdanglingmodifierisagroupofwordsthathavenogrammaticalconnectiontoanyelementinthesentence.Ifthereisnowordorgroupofwordsinthesentenceforthemodifiertoqualifyorlimit,themodifierissaidtodangle.1.2.2CoherenceOriginalRevisedAnalysisWhiledrivingonPineAvenueyesterdayafternoon,atreebegantofalltowardWendy'scar.WhileWendydrivingonPineAvenueyesterdayafternoon,atreebegantofalltowardhiscar.“WhiledrivingonPineAvenueyesterdayafternoon”isadanglingmodifierbecauseatreecannotdrive.Hobblingacrossthestreetwithacane,theschoolbushittheoldman.

Hobblingacrossthestreetwithacane,theoldmanwashitbytheschoolbus.“Hobblingacrossthestreetwithacane”isadanglingmodifierbecauseatheschoolbuscannothobblewithacane.Toswimproperly,eachstrokeshouldbetimed.

Toswimproperly,youshouldtimeeachstroke.“Toswimproperly”isadanglingmodifierbecauseeachstrokecannotswim.Bystayingclosetoshore,theriskofsinkingisreduced.Bystayingclosetoshore,littleboatsreducetheriskofsinking.“Bystayingclosetoshore”isadanglingmodifier.Riskcannotstayclosetoshore.OriginalRevisedAnalysisHowever,wecannotconfusedanglingmodifierswithabsolutemodifiers.Whichareusuallytheidiomaticphrasessuchas“tobeginwith,”“generallyspeaking,”“judgingfrompastexperience,”“takingeverythingintoconsideration”and“totellthetruth.”Forexample:1.2.2CoherenceAbsolutemodifiersExample1:Tosumup,ourvacationwasadisasterfromstarttofinish.Example2:Consideringthecostoflabor,thepriceisreasonable.Example3:Judgingfrompastexperience,heisnottobetrusted.1.2.2CoherenceAbsoluteconstructionsExample1:Theday’sworkbeingover,wereturnedtohomefromschool.Example2:Theguestshavingarrived,motherbegantosetthetable.Example3:Themoneyrunningout,wetriedtofindnewjobs.Notealsothatthenormalabsolutedoesnotdangle.Intheabsolute,thewordthattheparticipleattachesitselftoisintheabsoluteconstructionitself.1.2.2Coherence(3)FaultyparallelconstructionsFaultyparallelismoccurswhenelementsthataresimilarinideaarenotmadesimilarinstructure.1.2.2CoherenceOriginalRevisedI’mnotjustupsetthatMarytoldJane,butalsothatshewassorude.I’mupsetnotjustthatMarytoldJanebutalsothatshewassorude.Myfirst-yearphilosophyprofessorwasinformative,lively,andasourceofinspiration.Myfirst-yearphilosophyprofessorwasinformative,lively,andinspiring.HewarnedmetorevisemyessayandthatIshouldpaycloseattentiontoparallelstructures.Hewarnedmetorevisemyessayandtopaycloseattentiontoparallelstructures.(4)FaultypronounreferenceProblemsoffaultypronounreferencearisewhenapronounhasmorethanonepossibleantecedent(ambiguousreference),whenitsantecedentisimpliedorunspecified(vaguereference),whenthat,this,which,oritreferstoawholestatementcontainingoneormorepossibleantecedentswithinit(broadreference),orwhenithasnoantecedentatall.1.2.2CoherenceOriginalRevisedWhenJackputthesculptureonthetable,itbroke.(ambiguousreference)ThetablebrokewhenJackputthesculptureonit.OR:ThesculpturebrokewhenJackputitonthetable.Wepulledoutourspare,whichwasundertheseat,andputiton.Itdampenedourspiritsforawhile,butwedecidedtogoonwithit.(noantecedent)Wepulledoutourspare,whichwasundertheseat,andputthetireon.Theflatdampenedourspiritsforawhile,butwedecidedtogoonwiththetrip.Thecandydishwasempty,butweweretiredofeatingitanyway.(vaguereference)Thecandydishwasempty,butweweretiredofeatingcandyanyway.(5)

ShiftsShiftswithinasentenceinvoiceorsubject,tense,mood,personornumber,ordiscoursemakesentencesconfusinganddifficulttoread.1.2.2CoherenceOriginalRevisedHewasbeatenandrobbed,andthentheylefthimtodieinthegutter.(shiftinvoice)Hewasbeaten,robbed,andlefttodieinthegutter.Shecaughttheballandthenthrowsittothecatcher.(shiftintense)Shecaughttheballandthenthrewittothecatcher.Taketwoaspirins,andthenyoushouldcallmeinthemorning.(shiftinmood)Taketwoaspirins,andthencallmeinthemorning.Ifsomeonewantstoplaygames,youmustfollowtherules.(shiftinperson)Ifsomeonewantstoplaygames,heorshemustfollowtherules./Ifyouwanttoplaygames,youmustfollowtherules.

MyinstructoraskedwhetherIwaspreparedforthecourseandhaveIboughtmyselfalaptop.(shiftindiscourse)MyinstructoraskedwhetherIwaspreparedforthecourseandwhetherIhadboughtmyselfalaptop.

Concisenessisoftenconsideredtobethemostimportantwritingprinciple.Itmeanssayingthingsinthefewestpossiblewords.Inotherwords,asentenceshouldcontainnounnecessarywords.Iftheideaisfullyexpressed,thefewerwordsareused,thebetter.Wordinessonlyobscures,insteadofclarifying,theidea.1.2.3ConcisenessOriginalRevisedTherewasapinetreethatstoodlikeagiantonthetopofthemountain.Ittoweredoverthetreesaroundit.Thepinetreeonthetopofthemountainstoodlikeagiantandtoweredoverthetreesaroundit.OR:

Thegiantpinetreeonthetopofthemountaintoweredoverthetreesaroundit.

OR:

Onthetopofthemountainwasagiantpinetreewhichtoweredoverthetreesaroundit.Heshuthimselfupreadinganddidnotknowwhatwashappeningoutside.Heshuthimselfupreading,unawareofwhatwashappeningoutside.Duetothefactthatthedirectmeasurementsoftheradialcurrentdistributioncannotbeperformedatpresent,itisthereforecomplicatedtodescribeinadetailedwaythecurrentbuild-upperiodforlargemachineslikeours.Thedetaileddescriptionofthecurrentbuild-upperiodforlargemachineslikeoursiscomplicatedduetothelackofdirectmeasurementsoftheradialcurrentdistribution.LiQing,whowasafirst-yearstudentofthecollege,wouldgotoaparknearherschooleverydayinthemorning.Shewouldbringasmallrecorderwithher.IntheparkshewouldfindaquietcornerandlistentoatapeofEnglishstories.Everymorning,LiQing,afirst-yearstudentofthecollege,wouldgotoanearbypark,bringingasmallrecorderwithher.ThereshewouldlistentoatapeofEnglishstoriesinaquietcorner.OriginalRevised

Onepartofeffectivewritingistovarythekindofsentencesyouwrite.Ifallthesentencesareaboutthesamelengthwithprettymuchthesamestructure,thereaderswouldfeelbored.Theformandthelengthofsentencesneedtobechangedconstantlytoachievevariety.Hereareafewsuggestionsforimprovingsentencevariety.1.2.4Variety(1)UsesentencesofvaryinglengthsTextofvaryinglengthsiseasiertoreadthanoneofalmostthesamelengths.Awholepageofextremelylongsentencesisoverwhelming;ontheotherhand,awholepageofveryshortsentencesischoppyandseemsunsophisticated.Longsentencescommonlyexpresscomplexideastoexplainviewsandtheoriesortodescribethingswithmanydetailswhileshortsentencesareusuallyusedtomakeemphaticorimportantstatements.Longsentencesandshortonescanbeusedtogethertoachieveabettereffect.1.2.4VarietyOriginalRevisedManyteacherscangivestudentsinformation.Veryfewcaninspirestudentstolearn.Informationisoflittleusetostudents.Soontheyleavecollege.Thentheyforgetwhattheyhavememorized.Theymustbeinspiredtolearnontheirown.Manyteacherscangivestudentsinformation,butfewcaninspirethemtolearn.Whenstudentsleavecollege,theinformationthattheyhavememorizedwillbeoflittleuseandwillsoonbeforgotten.Whattheyneedmostistheabilitytolearnontheirown.1.2.4VarietyManypeopletakeacoffeebreakwhileatwork.Theybelievethatthiswilleasetheirstress.Researchhasbeenconflictingontheeffectsofcaffeine.Somestudiessuggestthatitcanworsenanxietyandtriggerstress.However,othersshowitboostsconfidenceandalertness.Recently,however,astudywasdonebypsychologistsatBristolUniversityintheUK.Theirresearchsuggeststhattakingcoffeebreakswhileworkingmayactuallynegativelyaffectemployees'abilitytodotheirjobs.Italsoundermines,ratherthanboosts,teamwork.So

thisraisesthequestion:dothe