让句子变“靓”.ppt

1、Warmly Welcome !,为作文“增值” -让句子变“靓” 杨华新 (开平市第一中学),Please go through the following basic writing.,基础写作 写作内容： 一个星期一的早上，在你上学的路上，忽然你听到有人喊救命，你跑过去一看，一个小男孩正在水里挣扎。你不顾寒冷，匆忙得没来得及脱掉衣服就跳进水里，成功地把小男孩救起。尽管他妈妈走过来一再感谢你，但你认为这是一个团员该做的。 写作要求： 1.请以第一人称写一篇日记，日记的格式已经给出。 2.用5句话描述上面的全部内容。,Dec.19 Monday Fine This morning I was

2、 walking on my way to school. I heard someone crying for help. I ran over to see what happened. I found a boy. He was struggling in the river. I jumped into the river to save him. I did not take off my clothes. The water was very cold. I kept trembling. At last, I pulled the boy to the bank. Then th

3、e boys mother came to thank me. I think I should do like that. Im a League Member.,点评：此文章句式单一，枯燥乏味，充其 量是初一学生的水平,虽然无语法错误，但 也难以拿高分。,What do you think of the composition above? How many points do you suppose it deserves?,让我们的句子“靓”起来！,Try to make our sentences as vivid and lively as possible.,Teamwork A

4、nd Brainstorming,请翻译以下的句子(每句至少要用上2种方式)。 1. 他突然想起把钱包留在家里了。 2. 对我来说完成任务有点难度。 3. 听到那个笑话，我们笑了起来。 4. 他出生在农村。他是在农村度过童年的。 5. Mary今天迟到了。她的老师很生气。 6. 她永远都不会忘记那次可怕的经历。 7. 他们真自私。 8. 我完成工作后，就去睡觉了。,(1) 尽量用词组来取代单词。 1. He suddenly remembered he had left his wallet at home. It suddenly occurred to him that he had le

5、ft his wallet at home. 2. It is difficult for me to finish the task. I find it difficult to finish the task. I have difficulty (in) finishing the task. We laughed when we heard the joke. We couldnt help laughing when we heard the joke. Hearing the joke, we couldnt help bursting into laughter.,(2) 巧用

6、分词、强调句以及定语从句等。 4. He was born in the countryside and spent his childhood there. He was born in the countryside, where he spent his childhood. Born in the countryside, he spent his childhood there. It was in the countryside that he was born and spent his childhood. 5. Mary was late, so the teacher wa

7、s angry. Mary was late, which made her teacher angry. That Mary was late made her teacher angry. Marys being late made her teacher angry.,(3) 善用倒装句、感叹句等特殊句型和独立主格结构。 6. She will never forget the horrible experience. Never will she forget the horrible experience. 7. They are so selfish. How selfish th

8、ey are! What selfish people they are! 8. I finished his work and went to bed right away. As soon as I got his work done, I went to bed at once. After finishing my work, I went to bed immediately. Having finished my work, I went to bed right now. With my work done, I went to bed in no time.,基础写作 写作内容

9、： 一个星期一的早上，在你上学的路上，忽然你听到有人喊救命，你跑过去一看，一个小男孩正在水里挣扎。你不顾寒冷，没等脱掉衣服就跳进水里把小男孩救起。尽管他妈妈走过来一再感谢你，但你认为这是一个团员该做的。 写作要求： 1.请以第一人称写一篇日记，日记的格式已经给出。 2.用5句话描述上面的全部内容。,Now please polish (润色) the following basic writing to improve it, using advanced (高级的) expressions and complex sentence structures we have just mentio

10、ned.,Dec.19 Monday Fine This morning I was walking on my way to school. I heard someone crying for help. I ran over to see what happened. I found a boy. He was struggling in the river. I jumped into the river to save him. I did not take off my clothes. The water was very cold. I kept trembling. At l

11、ast, I pulled the boy to the bank. Then the boys mother came to thank me. I think I should do like that. Im a League Member.,Possible version: Dec.19 Monday Fine This morning I was walking on my way to school when I heard someone crying for help. I ran over only to find a boy struggling in the river

12、. Immediately, I jumped into the river to save him without taking off my clothes because I was in a hurry. Although I kept trembling because of the cold water, I did manage to pull the boy to the bank. Then the boys mother came to thank me, but I think I should do like that as a League Member.,What have we learned in this period? To gain higher marks in our compositions, we should： 1. Use phrases in place of simple words; 2. Make the most of different