荆轲刺秦王(搞笑英语小话剧-英语及翻译).doc

荆珂刺秦王旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。Action I太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：Its you, Prince Dan!) Thank u mirror! Im Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister?镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一个嫉妒的家伙，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相他会杀了我。我很害怕。我该怎么办呢？我大臣在哪里？阿三: Honey, I am coming.亲爱的，我来了。太子丹：Ive told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!我告诉过你一次又一次，你应该叫我“我最美丽的、优雅、英俊、迷人、可爱、聪明和最亲爱的太子丹”！阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个英雄去杀嬴政 太子：Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate?欧耶！二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但谁是合适的人选？阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.经过筛选后我手上有两个有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将PK为世界头号杀手。太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?好的，给我尽快得主，好吗？阿三：Yes.Action II荆轲：Are you Li mochou?李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK. Im Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers world.好的。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是世界头号杀手之王。李莫愁：Are you challenging me?你想挑战我吗？荆轲：Off course! 李莫愁：Come on!李莫愁：What happened? Why arent you hurt?发生了什么？你为什么不疼？荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we?赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.妈妈常说：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我明白了，妈妈是对的。太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?哦，天哪！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？”？荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?荆柯：Hey, man, Im kidding!太子丹：Oh, Im kidding too! May I have your name card, please?哦，我也是在开玩笑呢！我可以要一张你的名片吗？阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?IC、ID、IQ卡？荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你说好的，她就是你的。荆柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不说她是一个非常性感美丽的女孩，但中医是我唯一的爱！阿三：What? Whats the TCM?荆柯：Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didnt know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.嘿，兄弟！你这么聪明，但为什么你不知道中医？任何人都可以给你答案。阿三：Excuse me? Whats the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM.传统的中国美眉太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.我必须告诉你的王牌。女士们，先生们，这是立顿减肥茶。这是一个全新的联合利华中国产品。荆柯：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldnt reduce my weight.减肥茶！我梦想它数千次。我的妻子总是威胁说要离开我，如果我不能减轻我的体重。阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, Im very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你想得倒好？假如你想要！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你很有诚意，我很高兴，你还是要说出来。你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要？荆柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.告诉我，我应该做什么？我会为你做任何事。 Action III阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends就停在这里。再见，我的朋友太子丹：I will miss you, baby.荆珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world! 我爱你。对我而言，你比这个世界上的任何东西都更有意义。荆珂：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. 我更爱你。哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你。妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.怎么样。作为一个男人，就去做！我会一直在这里等你。荆珂：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor. promise me you will survive. that you will never give up. no matter what happens. no matter how hopeless. promise me now, and never let go of that promise亲爱的！你一定要帮我这个忙答应我你会活下去你绝不会放弃不管发生什么事无论多么的绝望现在就答应我，永远不要忘记你的承诺妻子："I promise."荆轲："Never let go. “永不放弃妻子："I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."妻子：Its a good day to die. Never come back. Never Never这是一个去死的好日子。再也回不来了。不.从未.妻子：Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.谢谢你.当我得到人寿保险1000000美元，我将把它的一半，500000美元到您的帐户。阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.然后荆轲送往秦，最终被嬴政杀了。