2014下期第三次月考写作讲评.pptx

表格类作文 Comments on a composition on a form 写作要求 1.只能用5个句子表达全部内容； 2.开头和结尾已给出，不计入总句数。 评分标准 句子结构准确，信息内容完整，篇章结构连贯。 Boys and girls， Now I would like to tell you how I learn English writing. _ _ Thats all.Thank you. 时间分配 题型题量赋分时间（分钟） 基础写作11510 基础写作的命题特点： 考生按所给的内容及要求，用5个规范的英语句子描述所 给信息的全部内容，并组成连贯的短文。 简而言之，考查考生整理信息和组词造句成文的能力。 一、审题 体裁（内容） - 时态 - 人称- 发言稿 一般现在时这条主线（介绍你 的英语写作方法和心得） 第一人称 写作设计设计 思路 信息处处理 组词组词 造句 连连句成篇 切记：动笔前，一定要认真分析要点，理解要点要表 达的含义，不能遗漏要点，跑题偏题。 要背诵范文， 这样可以运用英语思维进行模仿性 写作； 要多阅读英文文章， 这样可以吸收语言材 料； 要听英文广播， 这样可以提高听力水平； 要学习语法， 这样可以正确表达； 要多写日记， 这样可以在练中学； 要多练习口语， 这样可以提 高口头技能； 要参考别人的作文， 这样可以取长 补短。 二、整合信息。 拆分和整合五个信息句拆分和整合五个信息句 1、背诵诵范文 运用英语语思维维，进进行模仿性写 作 2、多阅读阅读 英文文章 吸取语语言材料 多听英文广播 提高听力水平 3、 学习语习语 法 正确表达 多练习练习 口语语 提高口头头表达能力 4、多写日记记 提高遣词词造句的能力 5、参考他人的习习作 取长补长补 短 A proper organization 1. 我经经常背诵诵范文，使自己在模仿写作时时用英语语 思维维思考。 2. 我也喜欢欢广泛读读英文文章使自己尽可能多的吸 取语语言材料。 3. 为为使别别人明白，我觉觉得多听英文广播，学习习好 语语法和多说说英语语也很重要。 4. 我还坚还坚 持写日记记，通过过“写”这这种方式来提高写 作。 5. 我还经还经 常参考他人的写作从中取长补长补 短。 根据写作内容要求，合理划分所给信息点并 组织成五个句子,确保内容完整性，逻辑性。 1、 背诵诵范文 运用英语语思维维 进进行模仿性写作 recite English articles think in English imitate English writing 我经常背诵范文，使自己在模仿写作时用英语思维 思考。 I often recite good English articles，which helps me think in English when I imitate English writing. 2、多阅读阅读 英文文章 吸取语语言材料 read English articles take in language materials 我也喜欢广泛读英文文章使自己尽可能多的 吸取语言材料。 I also read English articles widely so that I can take in as many language materials as possible. 多听英文广播 提高听力水平 3、 学习语习语 法 正确表达 多练习练习 口语语 提高口头头表达能力 listen to the radio learn about some grammar express oneself correctly practice speaking English /make oneself understood 为为使别别人明白/正确地表达自己，我觉觉得多听英文广播， 学习习好语语法和多说说英语语也很重要。 In order to express myself correctly/make myself understood，I think it is important to learn about some grammars，listen to the radio and practice speaking English a lot. 4、多写日记记 在做中学 keep diary every day learn by writing. 我还坚还坚 持写日记记，通过过“写”这这种方式来提高写 作。 I keep a diary every day so that I can learn by writing. 5、参考他人的习习作 取长补长补 短 refer to others articles overcome ones weaknesses by acquiring others strong points what I need and what I can learn from 我还经还经 常参考他人的写作，从中取长补长补 短。 I often refer to others articles to know what I need and what I can learn from others. Boys and girls， Now I would like to tell you how I learn English writing. _，I often recite good/beautiful English articles，which helps me think in English when I imitate English writing. _ ，I also read English articles widely so that I can take in as many language materials as possible. Thirdly，in order to make myself understood，I think it is important to learn about some grammars， listen to the radio and practice speaking English a lot. _，I keep a diary every day so that I can learn by writing. _，I often refer to others articles to know what I need and what I can learn from others. Thats all. Thank you. 连句成篇:句与句之间根据逻辑使用适当的过渡词语或句型衔 接成篇，力求连贯性。 Firstly Secondly Fourthly Besides/ In addition 【亮点说明】范文中运用到一些常见的短语in order to 为了；make myself understood,使自己被理解/明白； keep a diary记日记； listen to听； refer to查阅； Firstly, I often recite beautiful English articles, which help me think in English when I imitate English writing 这个句子中运用非限制性定语从句。Thirdly, in order to express myself correctly / make myself understood, I think it is important to learn some grammar, listen to the radio and practice speaking English a lot.这个句子 中运用到目的状语，it is adj to do sth 这个句型结构。 Besides / In addition, I often refer to others articles to know what I need and what I can learn from others.这 个句子中运用到连词还有what引导的宾语从句。 Evaluation Pay attention to: Content Language (Tense 时态, Phrases搭配, sentence structure, grammar) Coherence(连贯性) 给作文评分 The fist, we should writ daily and learn English grammer, which improve our expressed ability. The second, we should read many of the English essay and practice speaking, it can help us to improve speak ability and gather more information for the language. The third, we can listen the English announce to improve our listening. The forth, we can use English thoughts to writing by remember the sense. The last, we can modal else people writ, to help ourself disadvantage. 学生习作一 first write dairy grammar forth and spoken English 语言 要点 连贯 得分 学生习作一 基本上能使用简单的词汇和句型表达出本题要求的内 容。习作中的基本每句语法上都出现错误，出现比较 多单词拼写错误，如: “fist， writ daily， forth ， ourself ”等,这也是许多学生常犯的错误，第5 句为直译（中国式英语） ， 比较呆板。 要点齐全，但是习作中的基本每句语法上都出现错 误。 使用了“The first，the second, ”等连接词， 基本符合连贯性的要求。 7分 老师评语 First, I always recite the better article and listen more English from speaker in the morning so that I can use my English brain to write with article and improve my own listening. Second, I will reading English passage and remember some grammer which I can use this knowledge to write the journal in the evening. Thirdly, practicing the mouth speak sometimes, not only did I interesting in English speaker but also improve myself speak skill. Fourthly, learning grammer by the teacher and using in writing that your grade can be improve. Lastly, its important to learn some others writing can be increasing yourself. 学生习作二 good will read grammar the dairy it is important to learn about some grammar I often practice speaking English as often as possible to improve my spoken English. improved 语言 要点 连贯 得分 学生习作二 基本上能使用简单的词汇和句型表达出本题要求的内 容。习作中的基本每句语法上都出现错误，如: “will reading ”, “can be improve” “grammer” ，第三、四 句表达不够准确。 要点齐全，句子数量符合要求，有些句子表达不清晰 ，即内容无效 使用了“first, second. lastly”等连接词，符 合连贯性的要求。 10分 老师评语 Ladies and gentlemen， Now I would like to tell you how I learn English writing. Firstly, I will recite the model articles so that I can imitate writing by English thoughts. Secondly, I will read more English article to absorb more l anguage material. Thirdly, I will learn grammar to express in the right way. Whats more, in order to learn by doing, I will write some diary. In addition, I will refer to others articles so that I can gain the advantages to mend my disadvantages. 学生习作三 articles English writing by thinking in English. learn by writing diary. need and what I can learn from others. to know what I 语言 要点 连贯 其他 学生习作三 语言方面基本没有错误，但是表达还是不够准确 1.表达不够清晰；（中国式英语） 如： gain the advantages to mend my disadvantages 2.名词的数有误； 3. learn by doing 应为 learn by writing. 要点齐全，by English thoughts等表达不清晰。 使用Firstly， secondly, whats more, in addition等 连贯性不错 11分 老师评语 得分 5个句子分成5段写扣1分 Boys and girls， Now I would like to tell you how I learn English writing. Firstly，I often recite good/beautiful English articles， which helps me think in English when I imitate English writing. Secondly，I also read English articles widely so that I can take in as many language materials as possible. Thirdly，in order to make myself understood ，I think it is important to learn about some grammars ，listen to the radio and practice speaking English a lot. Fourthly，I keep a diary every day so that I can learn by writing. Besides/ In addition，I often refer to others articles to know what I need and what I can learn from others. Thats all. Thank you. Possible version 切记： 1. 认真分析要点，理解要点要表达的含义，不能遗漏要 点，跑题偏题。 2. 注意准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关 系。 3. 尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，同时也要注意使用高 级词汇和高级句型使文章显得更有档次。 读写任务 Task-based 时间分配 题型题量赋分时间（分钟） 读写任务12525 对策： 1.重点词类（动词 、介词）的学习 2.同（近）义词或词组归纳 3.长、短句多样化 4 .特殊句式增添亮点 PARTS Summary Analysis Opinion Conclusion Main idea of the passage. The incident or the phenomenon Explain your opinion and state your evidence Briefly summarize your opinion Title 可先划出短文中的重要句子，例如文中的主题句、论 点、论据和结论等。 经过自己理解之后，转化成自己的话，运用简洁明了 的语言连贯、条理的表述出来。 4. Write it in the third person . （第三人称） 5.Control the number of words about 30. How to write a summary? 1. Dont copy the sentences in the text. 2. Use another word or phrase that has the same or similar meaning. 3. Use different sentence structures to express the same idea. 一、潦草，卷面涂改。（不自信，马虎，自 己否定自己。要高分，先从字上装点自 己。） 二、大多数同学抓不住文章的中心,并且在概 括中有很多同学抄袭原文的句子。 三、句子结构紊乱，人称、时态不一致。 阅读下面短文，然后按照要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。 The generation gap between students and their teachers is becoming more significant with only 3. 3 per cent out of a survey group of 1, 000 students from 30 key middle schools in the city saying they would be willing to tell their teachers of their inner thoughts. In todays educational environment, teachers are positioned to be the authority figure for learning instead of also becoming a good friend in the lives of students. As only students with good marks in exams are considered the “apples in the eyes” of the teachers, most students think their teachers to be partial(偏心). “I feel sad to hear such remarks,” said Yu Yi, a well-known special- class teacher. She recalled that in the past, teachers and students would play basketball together or comment on novels while sitting on the grass during a break. But today, study and good marks are the only topics of conversation between students and teachers. “Schools are not only the place where knowledge is imparted (传授) but also where students are taught how to be an upright person,” Yu said. “The success of a person is not merely determined by intelligence but also by emotional state.” Yang Xiong, director of the Juvenile Research Institute, said the educational system which focuses on examinations should be held to be substantially responsible. 。 写作内容 1. 以约30个词概括学生不愿告诉老师内心想法的原因； 2. 然后以约120个词就“现代师生关系”这个主题发表你 的看法，并包括如下要点： (1)你是否愿意告诉老师你内心的想法？为什么？ (2)你希望你与你的老师之间的关系是怎样的？如何才能 建立这种关系？ 写作要求 (1)可以使用实例或其它论述方法支持你的论点，也可以 参照阅读材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子； (2)标题自定； (3)文中不能出现考生真实姓名和学校名称 评分标准 概括准确、语言规范、内容合适、篇章连贯 1. 拟出标题：Love and Concern Make Ideal Relationship Summary : key sentences only 3. 3 per cent out of a survey group of 1, 000 students from 30 key middle schools in the city saying they would be willing to tell their teachers of their inner thoughts. teachers are positioned to be the authority figure(权威人物) for learning instead of also becoming a good friend in the lives of students. most students think their teachers to be partial(偏心). study and good marks are the only topics of conversation between students and teachers. 2. 进行概括：Students are becoming unwilling to tell their teachers of their inner thoughts because they are not equal in position and teachers lay too much emphasis on the academic performances of the students. 3. 自然过渡。回答“你是否愿意告诉老师你内心的 想法”，给出观点（愿意或不愿意），直截了当， 一语概之。如“我愿意告诉老师我的内心想法”。 While some students might have doubts, I am willing to share my inner thoughts with my teachers. 4. 列举例证。回答“为什么”， 给出一两个理由。 They show love and concern for their students and they are also good listeners. I always find it easy to seek support and advice from them, from which I benefit and learn a lot. 5. 回答“你希望你与你的老师之间的关系是怎样的”， 可以是“重要的， 和谐的， 朋友式的”等等。 In this case, an ideal relationship between teachers and students is very important. In my opinion, this relationship should be one filled with love, care and understanding, in which teachers and students show respect for each other and exchange ideas freely. 6. 回答“如何才能建立这种关系”，即师生双方应该如何 做。 To build a relationship of this kind, teachers should become friends of students while students