专八真题翻译答卷分析.ppt

2010年专八翻译答卷分析 Elyn n翻译材料：本次专八翻译汉译英难度适中，但 英译汉有多处翻译难点。 【汉译英】 n（朋友关系的存续是以相互尊重为前提的, 容 不得半点强求、干涉和控制。）彼此之间, 情 趣相投、脾气对味则合、则交; 反之, 则离、则 绝。朋友之间再熟悉、再亲密, 也不能随便过 头、不恭不敬。不然默契和平衡将被打破, 友 好关系将不复存在。每个人都希望拥有自己的 私密空间，朋友之间过于随便，就容易侵入这 片禁区，从而引起冲突，造成隔阂。待友不敬 ，或许只是一件小事，却可能已埋下了破坏性 的种子。维持朋友亲密关系的最好办法是往来 有节，互不干涉。 n（朋友关系的存续是以相互尊重为前提的, 容不得 半点强求、干涉和控制。）彼此之间, 情趣相投、 脾气对味则合、则交; 反之, 则离、则绝。 n学生版本一：The continuity of friendship presides on respect for each other, which is intolerant of little imposing, interference and controlling. We become friends for out common interests and similar temper. Otherwise we disown from each other. n1. 情趣中的“情”指性情，这与后文的“脾气”相 近，因而“情趣相投、脾气对味”可以合译为 have the same temperament and interests; have the same disposition and inclination。由 于temper特指坏脾气，故不用此词。 n2. 朋友之间和“合”与“交”其实是说关系融洽， 所以用become intimate或get along well n3. “绝”即断绝，意为“中止友谊”，可以考虑用 end，sever或break off，并与friendship搭配 。或者转换视角，翻译成“不再成为朋友”。 n朋友之间再熟悉、再亲密, 也不能随便过头、不恭不 敬。不然默契和平衡将被打破, 友好关系将不复存在 。 n学生版本一：No matter how familiar or how close between the friends are, we cant be too causal, namely, we shouldnt disrespect with each other. Otherwise the balance between friends will be broken and the good friendship will go forever. n学生版本二：No matter how familiar and intimate between friends, it is better not to be too casual or disrespect. Otherwise, it will damage to the feeling of understanding each other without words and a kind of balance and then the friendship goes away. n4. “朋友之间再熟悉、再亲密”是个让步状语从 句，要体现出来。 n5. “随便过头、不恭不敬”比较难译，可以考虑 转换视角成“朋友在一起的时候也应有礼貌、 互相尊重”。 n每个人都希望拥有自己的私密空间，朋友之间 过于随便，就容易侵入这片禁区，从而引起冲 突，造成隔阂。 n学生版本一：Everyone hopes to own his own private room. When it is too causal for friend, they are easy to invade this forbidden area so that conflicts take place and gaps are made. n学生版本二：Everyone hopes have private room, which is easy to be invaded if too casual between friends. This will cause conflict, at last build an wall between the two hearts. n6. “每个人都希望拥有自己的私密空间”一句在 原文中起了承上启下的作用，注意使用副词 generally，让译文更自然更有逻辑。时间状 语从句when in such friendship 和副词still 是用来加强连贯。 n7. 禁区restricted area. n8. “引起冲突，造成隔阂”都是“侵入禁区”的后 果，两个词组可以合译。并理解为“不合与疏 远”。 n待友不敬，或许只是一件小事，却可能已埋下 了破坏性的种子。 n学生版本一：Maybe its just a small matter to disrespect a friend, but by doing so you have sowed the destructive consequence. n学生版本二：May be it is an tiny thing to treat an friend disrespectful, but it would already root the destructive seeds. n9. “埋下了破坏性的种子”可以直译，sow the seed of discord。 n维持朋友亲密关系的最好办法是往来有节，互 不干涉。 n学生版本一：The best way to maintain a good relationship is to communicate with restriction and never to interfere your friend. n学生版本二：The best way to sustain the intimate friendship is to visit in limited level and dont interfer each other. n10. 最后一句，用therefore来加强连贯；“往来 有节”指“注意分寸”。 n参考译文版本一： nFriends tend to become more intimate and get along well if they have the same interests and temperament or they will cease to be friends and to separate ways. No matter how close they are, friends cannot stay together without courtesy and mutual respect, or the harmony and balance will be disrupted, and the friendship will no longer exist. Generally, everyone, when in such friendship, still respects a private space of his own. But by frequently doing as he pleases in interacting with friends, one may risk intruding into that forbidden zone, thus causing discord or estrangement. Though failing to show respect for friends only seems to be a trifle, it may turn out to be a seed sown only to lead to the destruction of the relationship over time. Therefore, the best way to keep good friendship is never to go beyond a certain limit in dealing with friends or meddle in friends affairs. n参考译文版本二： nFriends tend to become more intimated if they have the same interests and temperament, they can get along well and keep contacting; otherwise they will separate and end the relationship. Friends who are more familiar and closer can not be too casual and show no respect. Otherwise the harmony and balance will be broken, and the friendship will also be nonexistent any more. Everyone hopes to have his own private space, and if too casual among friends, it is easy to invade this piece of restricted areas, which will lead to the conflict, resulting in alienation. It may be a small matter to be rude to friends; however, it is likely to plant the devastating seeds. The best way to keep the close relationship between friends is to keep contacts with restraint, and do not bother each other. 【英译汉】 原文节选自英国作家托马斯德昆西的散文 鸦片之苦（The Pains of Opium）， nI thought that it was a Sunday morning in May; that it was Easter Sunday, and as yet very early in the morning. I was standing at the door of my own cottage. Right before me lay the very scene which could really be commanded from that situation, but exalted, as was usual, and solemnized by the power of dreams. There were the same mountains, and the same lovely valley at their feet; but the mountains were raised to a more than Alpine height, and there was interspace far larger between them of meadows and forest lawns; the hedges were rich with white roses; and no living creature was to be seen except that in the green church-yard there were cattle tranquilly reposing upon the graves, and particularly round about the grave of a child whom I had tenderly loved, just as I had really beheld them, a little before sunrise, in the same summer, when that child died. n学生版本一 n时间是东部时区，五月份的某个星期天的清晨. 我站 在小木屋的门旁边，从这个方面望过去，正好可以眺 望那头的风景，但是和往日一样，日出的光辉逐渐散 开，透设在梦想中. 山脉如同以前，就连山脚下迷人 的山谷也是如此；但不同的是，山的海拔高度已经超 过阿宾山脉，并且，山间树林密布，花草遍地；到处 都能看到爬满白玫瑰的篱笆；没有动物的踪迹，只能 在教堂的园林中看到牛群在“溜达”在静谧的墓地，静 静地. 我曾经非常喜爱的孩子就埋藏在这，以往的一 幕就好像真的为我亲眼目睹一样，同样是在这个夏天 ，同样是在日出之前几秒，那个孩子去天堂那端了。 n学生版本二 n我想那是一五月的一个星期天的早晨，那天是复活节 ，天还很早。我站在自家小木屋的门口。我眼前展现 出一片美丽的景色，尽管像往常一样，但它如梦境一 般地美让我无法忽视它。依然是那高山，山脚下依然 矗立着美丽的小村庄，但山的高度却超过了阿尔卑斯 山，在山间是巨大，茂密的森林；山腰上长满了白玫 瑰，生物似乎也绝迹了。唯一能够看到的是在那绿色 的教堂院子里，牵牛花蔓延在坟墓上。牵牛花藤在一 个孩子坟墓上开得更加茂盛。我曾对那孩子付出过柔 软的爱和关怀，但就在那个夏天，天还未亮时，他去 世了。 n1. 原文节选自英国作家托马斯德昆西的散文鸦片 之苦（The Pains of Opium），翻译时要注意措辞 应符合文体要求，并根据上下文确定词义。比如句首 的thought 不宜翻译为“认为”，因为它在文中是表示“ 回想起、回忆起”。 n2. yet very early in the morning 可以翻译成主谓结构 ，使译文更流畅。 n3. command不是“控制、率领”的意思，而是“俯瞰” 。 n4. 在翻译but exalted, as was usual, and solemnized by the power of dreams 这部分时，可转变语态，使 译文更加符合汉语习惯。 n5. 由于山不会自己“增高”，故the mountains were raised一句是作者的想象或感觉，翻译的时候要用增 词法。 n6. 在翻译and there was interspace far larger between them of meadows and forest lawns这部分 时，其实紧跟的是interspace，of是其后置修饰语。 n7. living creature本指“生物”，但前文描绘了玫瑰和 草坪，后文描绘了牛，所以指“动物”。 n8. 在翻译no living creature was to be seen except that in the green church-yard there were cattle tranquilly reposing upon the graves, and particularly round about the grave of a child whom I had tend