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荆珂刺秦王 emperor and the assassin aside introduction: long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. mr jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of qing, “yingzheng”. but finally he failed. do you want to know what happened at that time? okay, next show will tell you the truth. action i 太子丹:mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (its you, prince dan! )thank u mirror! im prince dan, the magic mirror said i am the most attractive man in the world. but ying zheng is a jealous guy, i feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. i am so scared. so what can i do? where is my minister? 阿三: honey, i am coming. 太子丹:ive told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、 graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、 smart and dearest prince dan”! 阿三:sure, honey! i have a good idea. we can find a hero to kill yingzheng 太子:oh yeah. what is the most expensive commodity in this century? talent! good idea! but who is the right candidate? 阿三:after screening i have two promising persons on hand. one is miss limochou, the other is mr jinke. tomorrow they will pk for the no1 killer of the world. 太子:well, show me the winner as soon as possible, ok? 阿三:yes. action ii 荆轲: are you li mochou? 李莫愁:yes. 荆轲: ok. im jingke, you know, i will let you know i am the king of the killers world. 李莫愁: are you challenging me? 荆轲: off course! 李莫愁: come on! 李莫愁:what happened? why arent you hurt? 荆轲: we dont need any reason to win a person. dont we? do we? 李莫愁:momma always said: “life is like a box of chocolates, mochou. you never know what youre gonna get.” i got it, momma is right. 太子丹:how are you? 荆柯:fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹:oh my god! could you give me an innovative answer to “how are you”? 荆柯:sure! 太子丹:how are you? 荆柯:fine, thank you, and your wife? 荆柯:hey, man, im kidding! 太子丹:oh, im kidding too! may i have your name card, please? reading in the paper:to be or not to be, thats a question. 阿三:hero,we need your help. 荆柯:i am busy now! 太子丹:you can get a lot of money. 荆柯:i am very busy now! 阿三:ic, id, iq card? 荆柯:i am very very busy now! a beautifui woman is coming 阿三: look! she is the most beautiful girl in the world. if you say o.k., she is yours. 荆柯:i have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but tcm is my only love! 阿三:what? whats the tcm? 荆柯; hey, guy! you look so smart but why you didnt know tcm? any of them can give you the answer. 阿三:excuse me? whats the tcm? 路人甲:tcm traditional chinese mm . 太子丹:i must show you the trump card. ladies and gentlemen, this is lipton slimming tea. it is a brand new product of unilever china. 荆柯(激动):slimming tea! i have dreamed of it for thousands of times. my wife always threatens to leave me if i couldnt reduce my weight. 阿三:you want? speak up if you want! why do you keep silent? why are you looking at me? although your eyes are full of sincerity, im very glad, you still have to speak up. take it! do you really like? really? 荆柯: just tell me what should i do? i will do anything for you. yeah! action 阿三:hero, we have already reached yishui river. 荆珂:just stop here, please. farewell, my friends 太子丹:i will miss you, baby. 荆珂:darling, i love you. 妻子:i love you! you mean more to me than anything in this whole world!(肖申 克的救赎) 荆珂:i love you more. in spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, i love you. (哪怕是世界 末日我都会爱着你,选自飘) 妻子:well. be a man, just do it! i will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂:sweetheart! you must do me this honor promise me you will survive that you will never give up no matter what happens no matter how hopeless promise me now, and never let go of that promise. 妻子:”i promise.” 荆轲:”never let go. “ 妻子:”i promise. i will never let go, jack. ill never let go.” 妻子:its a good day to die. never come back. never never 妻子: th

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