Be Realistic Plan for a Miracle.doc

be realistic: plan for a miracletalks given from 13/3/76 to 6/4/76darshan diary22 chaptersyear published: 1977be realistic: plan for a miraclechapter #1chapter title: none13 march 1976 pm in chuang tzu auditoriumarchive code: 7603135shorttitle: plan01audio: novideo: noa sannyasin asks about his work in the west and his relationship:. its crazy that i should ask you these things. ive got my own mind.no, you ask. that is a way of making up your mind, mm? now you are part of me and i am as much involved in you as you are - even more. so dont think that you are crazy. just tell me. even telling me will be of much help.i cannot decide for you, but i can help you to decide. these two things. something else? there must be a third thing also.he answers: well. i have a tendency to be negative, critical, low energy. mm mm. because that third is the most basic, and these two are coming out of it.if you feel a basic low energy, then you cannot make any decision. that is the problem for a low energy person, mm? you cannot decide - you go on thinking and thinking and wavering your whole life. but remember one thing - whether you decide or not, a decision is continuously being taken. even if you cant decide - that too is a decision.for example, if you dont decide to leave this woman, you are deciding to be with her. the other is also as much a decision. sometimes for a low energy person, the decision that looks like a no-decision becomes the only decision in life.so what i will suggest is that you dont think that you have to change your profession.rather than think whether you have to do it, decide whether you are to remain a dentist. do you want to remain a dentist? dont decide the other thing. decide this.and if you are not decisive, dont continue in it. sit and meditate, and if you cannot decide, remain suspended. you follow my point? if you cannot decide this, then the same has to be done with the other - because it is the same problem. the problem is the third.thats why i insist that there is a third problem, more basic. these two are just off-shoots. and it always happens that off-shoots look like real problems. the real problem - that you cannot face this reality of your being low energy, that you dont want it, that you dont like it - is hiding somewhere else.if you cannot make a decision, remain suspended - and that suspension will help. it will help you to come out of it, or end it. either way it will help. but you will have to take a decision.what i am insisting is that it is going to be a very healthy exercise for you to decide. if you remain a dental surgeon, then it has to be your decision, not otherwise. it should not be like a no-decision. thats bad. you have been asking the question from the wrong side, and thats a trick of the mind. so always remember that a no-decision is also a decision.for nine years you have continued to be a dental surgeon and you dont like it. thats suicidal. nothing is wrong with dentistry. if you like it, it is beautiful. if you dont like it, it is poisonous. anything that you dont like and you continue against yourself is going to create a very suicidal situation. and the more you remain in it, the less you will be capable of coming out of it, because habits become stronger and stronger. you will become more and more involved in it. and you will lose courage - because the more you are in a profession, settled, comfortable, the more risky it becomes. for a dentist to become a musician after nine years is difficult.after twenty years it will become impossible, because then the risk is too much; then you are moving onto the streets. so dont waste time!if you dont like anything, whatsoever it is, to remain in it even for a single moment is suicidal. then whatsoever the risk, come out of it. because it is not only a question of coming out of it - it will release your energy, and you will be able to commit it somewhere else. when you close one door, another opens. if you dont close this door, no other door opens - because it is the same energy which has to open the other door.if you go on clinging to one woman and you dont want her and you dont feel good, it is a constant trouble. it is not only poisonous to you, it is poisonous to her. if you are not kind to yourself, at least be kind to her; at least be human to her. because it is not only that you are crippling yourself; you are crippling her also.any relationship that becomes miserable is going to cripple both the participants. not only this relationship. if you remain in it too long it will cripple your future relationships also. it will affect them because it will become part of your past. it will hang around you. there is every possibility that you will again find the same type of woman - and you will again get into trouble and go on repeating the same pattern.so whenever you feel a relationship is not going well, i dont say come out of it - i say jump out of it! dont waste a single moment. there are millions of other women. one door closes, all other doors open. and the moment you move, another door will become possible for her also.if you dont fit, that doesnt mean that you will not fit with anyone else. if she doesnt fit with you, that doesnt mean that she will not fit with anybody else. but you can be related to a person who doesnt fit. neither you nor the other person is wrong. you simply dont fit. you are not made for each other.you cannot do anything which will make you fit. if you try too hard to, you may start adjusting - which is not fitting.that is the greatest calamity that can happen to a relationship - when two persons settle for adjustment. and if you are long enough in a difficult relationship, what can you do? you have to adjust. then you settle for something that is not worthwhile. you drop all the romance of life and all poetry. your life will lose all significance and grandeur. it will become very ordinary, very mundane. in fact, profane. it will lose the dimension of the sacred.the sacred exists with the romantic, with the poetic. the sacred is adventure. it is risky - but there is no other way to live. danger is the only dimension.both your relationship with this woman and your profession come from your deep-rooted inability to decide. so you go on clinging; whatsoever the case, you will cling. but still, there is a possibility - you have not settled yet. thats good. you are not yet adjusted. thats good. that gives hope.but dont waste more time in it. just take the jump out of it. at least at the most you can be a beggar, thats all (a chuckle). what is wrong in being a beggar? you can play on your guitar, sing, and you will be as happy as a king.you can become rich by being a dental surgeon, and you can earn enough money to have a beautiful house and a beautiful car. but you will become ugly. be realistic: plan for a miracle!so go back, and immediately drop out of it. there is nothing to worry about. at the most one can become a beggar. at the most death can happen - which is going to happen anyhow, mm? take courage. and i am coming with you.dont give it a single thought again - just get out of it. all thinking is bourgeois. it is mediocre, middle class. thinking is always cowardly. so dont think. simply go and close all the old doors. and dont look back.and if there is any trouble, come back, mm? this ashram is yours, so come back. dont be worried. i can find you one of the best women in the world (laughter). mm? i manage all sorts of things!a sannyasin says: i received a very strange letter today. my father requested that i say hello to you - which surprised me very much. i think thats his way of asking for your blessing.mm. strange things happen. life is more strange than any fiction. and more fictitious also.if one goes on believing and trusting, one comes to encounter miracles every moment. just because we have lost the capacity to trust, much of the miraculous has disappeared from the world.so write him a hello from me, mm? (laughter) good!the tao group was present tonight. the basic idea of tao is just going with the flow. one group member says: it was very good. i got insights into things i had never seen before.you look good. very positive energy.once you feel something inside, not only the mind changes, but the body has a different vibe, mm? one is more flowing, more relaxed, more at home. one feels blessed. life doesnt look like a problem. it looks more like a play, a mystery play (a chuckle), mm? good.another group member says: i feel alone. and just good, but confused. i dont know what is happening.things are changing around inside me. sometimes i feel frightened, sometimes its floating.mm, it is natural. whenever you feel frightened, just relax. accept the fact that fear is there, but dont do anything about it. neglect it; dont pay any attention to it.watch the body. there should not be any tension in it. if tension doesnt exist in the body, the fear disappears automatically. fear makes a certain tense state in the body, to get rooted in it. if the body is relaxed, fear is bound to disappear. a relaxed person cannot be scared. you cannot frighten a relaxed person. even if fear comes, it will come like a wave. it will not get roots.and fear coming and going like waves and you remaining untouched by it, is beautiful. when it gets rooted in you and starts growing in you, then it becomes a growth, a canceric growth. then it cripples your inner organism.so whenever you feel frightened, the one thing to look at is that the body should not be tense. lie down on the floor and relax. relaxation is the antidote for fear. and it will come and go. you simply watch.that watching should not be of interest - indifferent. one just accepts that its okay. the day is hot - what can you do? the body is perspiring. one has to pass through it. the evening is coming close, and a cool breeze will be blowing. so just watch it and be relaxed.once you have the knack of it, and you will have it soon - that if you are relaxed, fear cannot get attached to you, that it comes and goes and leaves you unscarred - then you have the key. and it will come. it will come. because the more we change, the more fear will be coming.every change creates fear, because every change is putting you into the unfamiliar, into a strange world. if nothing changes and everything remains static, you will never have any fear. that means, if everything is dead, you will not be afraid.for example, you are sitting down and there is a rock lying down. there is no problem - you will look at the rock, and everything is okay. suddenly the rock starts walking - you become frightened. aliveness! movement creates fear; and if everything is unmoving, there is no fear.thats why people, afraid of getting into fearful situations, arrange a life of no change. everything remains the same and a person follows a dead routine - completely oblivious that life is a flux. he remains in an island of his own making in which nothing changes. mm? - the same room, the same photographs, the same furniture, the same house, the same habits, the same slippers - everything the same. the same brand of cigarettes; even a different brand you wont like. between this, amidst this sameness, one feels at ease.people live almost in their graves. what you call a convenient and comfortable life is nothing but a subtle grave. so when you start changing, when you start on the journey of inner space, when you become an astronaut of the inner space, and everything is changing so fast, every moment is trembling with fear. so more and more fear has to be faced.let it be there. by and by you will start enjoying the changes so much that you will be ready at any cost. change will give you vitality. more aliveness, zest, energy. then you will not be like a pond - closed from everywhere, not moving. you will become like a river flowing towards the unknown, and towards the ocean where the river becomes lost.the sannyasin asks: i have one more thing. my parents - can you do something for them ? especially my mother, because her body is very ill. i would like to give you their pictures.i will do something. i have got their thread from you. you are part of your parents, mm? when a son is converted, half the father is gone! (laughter)another sannyasin who had done the tao group, said that she felt a sense of frustration, because although things seemed to be happening, she felt she was still just standing on the same spot. she added that she felt a sense of expansion in herself.the feeling is meaningful. one is really on the same place - because the change is not outside you. it is inside.the journey is inner. everything remains the same, and yet not the same. so you feel both together - that the journey is going very fast, and yet you are standing on the same place. that paradox is very significant. dont be worried about it. it happens to everybody who starts changing inwardly, mm? because the trees are the same, the houses are the same, the people are the same. the world is the same. and yet something has changed which is very elusive, and you cannot put your finger on it. you cannot say exactly what has changed. if somebody insists on knowing what has changed in you, you will not be able to say.the change is in the layers of consciousness. it is as if you have been to the mountains. the path moves round and round and round, and after walking for miles, again you come to the same spot where you had been a few hours before - just a little below. everything is the same - the same scenery, the same trees, the same rocks - and you have walked so much.the journey is inner. and as when moving towards a mountain peak one ultimately arrives at the peak, one suddenly comes to know that one is standing in the marketplace. nothing has changed - and everything has changed. thats the paradox of religious consciousness. hence all religions speak in paradoxes, in contradictions. they have to. there is no other way to speak.feel happy. dont feel puzzled. i know in the beginning one feels puzzled.and the second insight is also good - that you are feeling that you are expanding. naturally, in the beginning you will feel that your problems are expanding - because everything will expand. your anger will expand. your insecurity will expand. your sexuality will expand. your love will expand. everything will expand, because it is all part of you. so dont get scared about it.if you go on expanding, by and by you will see that a qualitative change happens later on after a certain expansion; that a few things, if you expand them too much, become very thin. it is just like a balloon that you go on puffing at. it becomes bigger and bigger, but at the same time it is becoming thinner and thinner also. soon a point will be reached when it will explode and the whole balloon will disappear.this is the balloon of the ego, this sense of i, that expands. and this sense of i implies all that you have: your problems, your anxieties, your nightmares, your good things, your bad, your days and your nights - all are involved in this i. this balloon of the ego has everything that you have. when the balloon expands, they all expand.let them expand. the balloon will get thinner and thinner and thinner, and a moment. a sudden explosion. and all is gone - balloon and all. then you are left - you as you are without the i. pure space. almost non-being.wait, and go on. dont be afraid, mm? good.another sannyasin says: i would like to ask you. im requesting about being killed.mm mm. that i will do. dont request it! (a chuckle)that i will do without request (laughter). dont be worried about it. thats the only thing i know how to do, mm? (more laughter)a visitor who participated in the group says: i think it was very good for me. i felt uncomfortable at times, but i was very pleased and happy afterwards.discomfort is natural. anything that can be of any help is also uncomfortable. each growth is uncomfortable. only death is comfortable. life is uncomfortable.so one should learn how to put oneself again and again into the new and novel, into discomforts, mm? that keeps one open and growing and fluid.do a few more groups. it will be good, mm? because they are more uncomfortable. tao is the most comfortable (laughter). do tathata or aum. do something really uncomfortable !another member of the group said he had a query about meditation and trying to watch thoughts. he said he tried to watch, but that it became repetitive - watching the watching, like a mirrored cabinet.do one thing - dont strain too much in watching. if you do, it can become like a mirror-cabinet, and you can go almost crazy, mm? first you are watching your thoughts. then you can slip out and watch your watching. then you can slip out again and watch your watching. and this can go on and on.you can never watch yourself. you are the watcher - so whatsoever you watch is something which is not you. you are always standing further away. your reality can never be objectified. you cannot see yourself - because who will see you? you will always remain irreducibly the witness. so however far you go, you will always remain at the back of everything. you can never put yourself in the front of everything - thats impossible.so dont strain or you will become bored. let it be a simple watching of thoughts. dont watch the watcher, or you will be moving into a trap which is non-ending, that can lead you on ad infinitum.if you feel the idea arising to watch the watcher, forget abo