The Differences in Social Communication between Western Countries and China10.docx

the differences in social communication between western countries and chinai.introductionwith the carrying out of reform and opening up policy and the globalization of economy, an increasing number of chinese swarm into western countries. no matter what their real purposes are, it is their hope that they can get along well with those foreigners. however, large amounts of chinese have no idea about what they can exert themselves to. i read a sentence if you are at rome, live after the roman fashion; if you are elsewhere, live as they do there.” on the website baidu. it is believed that, to some extent, this sentence provides us a proper answer. in other words, the first thing you need to do before your going to western countries is to learn how westerners behave and what you should pay attention to in those countries. therefore, some differences in social communication between western countries and china will be shown in this paper.ii.differencesthe dissimilarities in social communication between western countries and china mainly exist in such aspects as addressing, greeting, praising, visiting, parting, and giving a present. and all aspects of these differences will be expounded respectively in the following paragraphs.2.1differences in addressingit takes no effort to find an extremely surprising phenomenon that children should address their elders directly using their name. for example, one may address adults including the father, mother, or even the grandparents by their given names. in the eyes of chinese, there is no doubt that this kind of appellation should be fervently condemned as a result of its violation of the so-called filial duty, which has been dominant in the minds of chinese for thousands of years (huang yanli, 2005:3) by assertion: “another difference is about the form of addressing. in china, people are inclined to address their superior or elders using title + surname in order to show their respects for them. on the contrary, westerners, no matter what their social statuses are, have a tendency to follow the reciprocal addressing.”2.2 differences in greeting it is appropriate to ask how westerners greet to each other when they meet each other. when coming face to face, chinese usually adopt greeting words like where are you going? or have you eaten yet? but if you greet westerners in the same way, most of them will definitely feel puzzled and be likely to misunderstand you. for instance, when hearing the question have you eaten yet? westerners will regard it as an invitation to dinner in all likelihood. and it is not safe to say where are you going? which will probably displease them because they are under the impression that you intend to encroach their privacy. apart from this, addressing can be regarded as a way of greeting by chinese. for example, if one chinese student happens to meet his or her teacher on campus, he or she may greet that teacher by using teacher! to show respect to the teacher. however, it is quite different in english-speaking countries like america and britain. in those countries, if you greet the teacher in this way, the teacher will think that you want to talk with him or her.2.3 differences in praisingit is well-known that modesty has been our conventional virtue from the very beginning of our ancestors, so we chinese seldom agree to the compliment on us. virtually, modesty is also seen among westerners, too. however, their way of expressing modesty differs dramatically from ours. i heard a story told about an american and a young chinese lady. you look beautiful today. said the american. where, where, answered the young lady in an extremely humble tone. it was fortune that the american replied artfully by everywhere. which avoided the ladys possible awkwardness. usually, the ladys proper answer had better be thank you! or thank you for saying so!”2.4 differences in visitingin english-speaking countries, one had better make an appointment before paying a visit to whoever it is. otherwise, the host will feel unpleasant in that your unexpected visit disorders their arrangements .though you have made an appointment, you should master the time properly. thats to say, youd better arrive at the hosts house on time. but americans are accustomed to arrive 3 to 5 minutes in advance or 10 minutes late in order to give the hostess enough time for make-up or dressing.2.5 differences in partingwhen its time to say farewell to the host, the manner and rhythm vary distinguishably from one culture to another. it is common that chinese say go slowly, walk slowly, come again. to show appropriate feeling that they are expecting the guests next visit though sometimes it is not the hosts true feeling. compared with chinese, westerners will indicate to the host their idea to leave 10 to 20 minutes earlier. for example, the guest may say i guess i must be going soon. i have to pick up my children. then they will continue to talk for another 10 or more minutes before the guest really leaves. and they prefer to say see you later. or goodbye! to each other.2.6 differences in giving a presentit is greatly appreciated that courtesy demands reciprocity in china. and chinese regard the value of the gift as a criterion to measure your respect toward the gift receiver. however, the westerners, especially americans, pay much more attention to the meaning of the gift rather than the mundane value. i remember my friend sun received a birthday present, which is just a common card from our foreign teacher. at that time, i held that americans were so mean. but now i realize how stupid my thought was. the attitudes toward the present also differ between westerners and chinese. chinese will pretend to decline the present in front of the person who gives it. but in english culture, people will unfold the present immediately and express their appreciation to others. otherwise, the other side will be probably under the impression that you do not value his or her present at all.in english culture, people are accustomed to give flowers as present. the number and color of flowers are very essential to them. it is universally acknowledged among western people that white flowers or even numbers of flowers will bring them misfortune. besides, its inappropriate to give flowers mixed with white and red to patients as a present.iii.the reasons of differencesthe differences in social communication mainly derive from various factors. therefore, it does good to acknowledge these factors. following are these factors:3.1 conventional conceptthe most important factor is the conventional concept which leads to the differences in social communication (zhang yan, 2009:6) by assertion:“confucianism, whose core is mercy and modesty, has been the dominant thought in china since ancient times. while condemned by many critics, it is still deep-rooted in the minds of chinese. different from chinese culture, christianity plays a very important role in western countries. westerners widely believe that all of them are sons of the father, and everyone is created equal.” spontaneously, they deem that their appellations should be equal, too. 3.2 education in china, students are educated to act in a fixed way. for instance, only after they raise their hands can they answer the questions given by the teacher because thats a regulation in class. to be entirely different, western students are freer in their class. there is no need for them to raise hands or stand up to answer questions at all. naturally, the conception of regulation goes deep into the minds of chinese students day by day; on the contrary, the idea of freedom gets ingrained in the minds of western students progressively. iv.benefits from knowing these differences4.1 making more friendsgenerally speaking, a good understanding of each other is like a great bridge which serves as the bond of friendship. only by knowing the dislikes or taboos of other people can you do your best to avoid offending others without care, and then you will find that you are lucky enough to get a chance to build a friendship bridge. as an old saying goes, many friends make the path. there is no other harm than good to make more friends.4.2 gaining respectsto some extent, it is a presentation of your personal qualities both in knowledge and virtues. for instance, you are seated with several chinese friends talking about the manners or taboos in america or britain, your acquaintance with the theme must surprise your peers, and there is no doubt that they will cast their admirable eyes on your extensive knowledge. if you are talking with westerners, they will think that you are a person with virtues who deserves respects, too. “apart from this, knowing the differences will save us from embarrassing moments when we are with others.”(l imperial, 2003:64)4.3 improving the international image of our nationfrom the viewpoint of politicians, it is meaningful to know the differences in po