EM8作文试卷评析(上).ppt

TEM8(2009)作文 试卷评析 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 序号题号各部分名称题型题数计分比重考试时 间 （分钟 ） I(A1)- (A10) 1-10 听力理解 A 讲座 B 会话 C 新闻 主观题 客观题 客观题 10 5 5 10 10 10% 10% 25 II1130阅读理解客观题202020%30 III3140人文知识客观题101010%10 IV(B1) (B10) 改错主观题101010%15 V 翻译 A汉译英 B英译汉 主观题 主观题 1 1 10 10 10% 10% 60 VI 写作主观题观题 12020%45 合计 40+23100100%185 试卷的题型、题数、计分、比重和时间列表 (新版英语专业八级考试大纲） 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 考试大纲要求 VI.写作(Part VI: Writing ) 1.测试要求: 根据所给的作文题目及要求撰写各类体裁的文章，文章长度约400个单 词；能做到内容充实、语言通顺、用词恰当、表达得体。 2.测试形式: 本部分分为主观试题, 共一个作文题目。考试时间45分钟。 3.测试目的: 按照大纲的要求测试学生的写作能力。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 高等学校英语专业英语教学大纲八级要求 能写各类体裁的文章，做到内容充实，语言通顺，用 词恰当，表达得体。 写作速度为30分钟300-400个单词。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 全国听力 10 阅读 20 人文 10 GAP 10 改错 10 英译中 10 中译英 10 写作 20 总平 均分 05 693 125963550943254753811615774 06 645 104661160847545252811015506 07 608 111858456348151753110255456 08 6. 11 11. 185. 904. 614. 586. 115. 6712. 4356. 37 09 5. 68 10. 286. 933. 695. 136. 614. 8813. 7056. 85 全国近5年八级考试子项目得分情况一览 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 09年作文存在的主要问题 问题（1） 审题 在八级写作考试中要写出符合要求的作文，第一步就是审题。审题正 确，文章就成功了一半。审题错误，作文肯定不及格。 审题，就是认真阅读写作题目以及相关的信息和要求，准确、全面地 领会题目的含义，了解题目要求，从而为构思合乎具体写作要求的文章 思路及框架打下基础。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 作文题目解析 八级作文题目一般由五个部分组成 1.情景介绍 Nowadays with the development of economy, the existing cities are growing bigger and new cities are appearing. 2. 观点 What do you think is one of the major problems that may result from this process of urbanization? Write an essay of about 400 words on the topic given below： 3. 标题 One Major Problem in the Process of Urbanization 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 4. 写作要求 In the first part of your writing you should present your thesis statement and in the second part you should support the thesis statement with appropriate details. In the last part you should bring what you have written to a natural conclusion with a summary. 5. 评分标准 Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriacy. Failure to follow the above instructions may result in a loss of marks. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 一般来讲，八级作文观点类分为三种情形：第一种是议论 ，即对现 存观点（通常是两种）做一选择 ；另一种是立论，即直接提出一种观 点，然后来论证 它；第三种是驳论 ，即对现 有观点进行批驳。 到目前为止，第一种文章所占的比例较高，一般会给两种较为对 立 的观点，考生应该选择 其中的一种观点进行论述。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 审题重要性 2006年八级考试 通过率：49.97 平均分：55.06 作文平均分：11.01 原因：题目难，审题不清 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 2006年的题题目： Joseph Epstein, a famous writer, once said, “We decide what is important and what is trivial in life. We decide (so) that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do. But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these choices and decisions are ours to make. We decide. We choose. And as we decide and choose, so are our lives formed. In the end, forming our own destiny is what ambition is about.” Do you agree or disagree with him? Write an essay about 400 words entitled: Ambition 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 注意： 审题不仅仅浏览一个标题，也要认真读和研究其他部分，联系起来 ，真正明确写作目的和要求。在历年写作阅卷中发现，审题错误（跑题 、部分跑题）是学生经常犯的错误。 主要原因是： 只看标题不看其他部分就动手写作，从而导致对作文要求理解严重偏 差，内容不符合要求。 不注重研读写作项目中对篇章布局的提示，使得作文布局偏差，结构 失衡。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 2009年八级作文题目 1. 情景 Mandarin, or putonghua, is the standard service sector language in China. But recently, employees at a big citys subway station have been busy learning dialects of other parts of the country. 2. 观点 Proponents say that using dialects in the subway is a way to provide better service. But opponents think that encouraging the use of dialects in public counters the national policy to promote putonghua. What is your opinion? Write an essay of about 400 words on the following topic: 3. 标题 Are Dialects Just as Acceptable in Public Places? 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 4. 写作要求 In the first part of your essay you should present clearly your main argument, and in the second part you should support your argument with appropriate details. In the last part you should bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or make a summary. 5. 评分标准 Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the above instructions may result in a loss of marks. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 观点： Proponents: using dialects in the subway is a way to provide better service. Opponents: Encouraging the use of dialects in public counters the national policy to promote putonghua. What is your opinion? Topic： Are Dialects Just as Acceptable in Public Places? 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 讨论：作文（1） Nowadays our government has made policy to promote putonghua, and we have a special day as“Putonhua Day”to encourage people to learn putonghua. But some people thought that learning dialects of other parts of our country can better help others. I cannot support this opinion. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 I think learning putonghua is very important and there are actually four advantages. First, putonghua help produce the communication barriers. As we all known, China has a big country of a large population and 56 minorities. In sequent, there are different dialects in different groups. Peoples ability is limited and we cannot learn all the dialects for communication. If we all learn putonghua, we can take the barriers and say with others smoothly. Secondly, putonhua can accelerate the speed of the communication. If you are traveling to an area where people use a different dialect as you use in daily life, putonhua will help you to get information or help that you need quickly. If you speak your dialect, local people cannot understand you, and the failure of the communication may lead to disaster. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 Thirdly, putonhua will help all the peoples in China to build a harmonious society. If people just stick to their own dialects, communication will be slow or even fail, and because of unsuccessful communication, there will be more misunderstanding or quarrels. These will do harm to the building of a harmonious society. Finally, the use of putonhua can help establish a good image for our future career. My friend Xiao Xia speaks very good putonhua, and she worked in our college radio station for 2 years. Because of this, she is the first person who got the job in the government organization. In a word, putonhua is important and necessary in our life and in our future career. It helps people to have smooth communication and overcome some difficulties caused by language, and it can also help us to find a good job. Lets all learn putonhua for ourselves and others. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 该作文只得到6分，因为审题错误 ，只讨论 了普通话的4个优点,没有涉 及dialect，视角不对。 I think learning putonghua is very important and there are actually four advantages. First, putonghua help produce the communication barriersSecondly, putonhua can accelerate the speed of the communication . Thirdly, putonhua will help all the peoples in China to build a harmonious society . Finally, the use of putonhua can help establish a good image for your future career. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 问题（2）： 结构 一篇符合八级要求的作文必须做到： 论点明确、清楚； 论证层次分明，结构严谨 如何做到结构严谨？ 抓住中心论点进行讨论，层层分析，使论证具有说服力。 观点步步阐述，合乎逻辑与情理。 观点讨论之间衔接自然、顺畅。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 文章结构布局 Introduction General Statement Thesis statement Development Topic sentence Supportive sentence Concluding sentence Topic sentence 2 Topic sentence 3 Conclusion Summary Suggestion /Comment 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 讨论：作文（2） One of the reasons to spread the standard language in China, the mandarin, is to facilitate communication among people from different places and to gain public understandings, and to provide dialects service is also aimed to make the communication more convenient and effective. Therefore, to this extent, dialects are acceptable in the public places，for example, in some big cities, people in service sector use dialects to help people from various areas. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 China has large territory and population, as well as a large number of dialects, which are greatly different from each other. There are many people still cant speak or understand putonghua, the standard language. Main public places, such as subway stations and airports in big cities, have a great amount of people who may speak different dialects. Therefore, it is necessary to provide service in dialect, so that people from different places, speaking their local dialects can receive the same service and convenience. Otherwise, it is a sign of discrimination to provide exclusive service in mandarin. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 For another part, people who speak dialects may come across emergencies, and under that condition, putonghua may be more helpful and significant. In addition, it is not necessary to worry that providing dialect service may counter the national policy to promote putonghua. From those dialect speaking peoples perspective, learning putonghua is helpful and can benefit themselves when they enter into public places. Thus, if needed they are willing to learn it. After all in most public places, putonghua speakers are more than dialect speakers. People can use putonghua more. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 Human beings are equal and they have their own choice of speaking which language or dialect. Providing standard language should not be a confinement to people but a tool for effective communication. Therefore, dialects are acceptable in public places, which doesnt mean to the encouragement of speaking dialects in the public areas. After all, it is unfavorable for mutual understanding. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 该作文获得11分，没有及格。 专家评语： 审题基本切题，表述基本得体 结构不严谨，层次不够分明 不会写Thesis statement，Topic sentence 语言规范性和准确性不够 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 One of the reasons to spread the standard language in China, the mandarin, is to facilitate communication among people from different places and to gain public understandings, and to provide dialects service is also aimed to make the communication more convenient and effective. Therefore, to this extent, dialects are acceptable in the public places，for example, in some big cities, people in service sector use dialects to help people from various areas. 1. 虽然只有2句，但是比 较啰嗦 ，典型的受到汉语 影响的 run-on sentence，即 冗长句子。应该 分开来写 ，挤在一起意思不清，语 法有错。 2. 对开始段如何写有一定 知识，但是没有把握好 Thesis statement 的写作。 开头部分 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 General statement Thesis statement Background Controversial debate Your attitude Main ideas 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 如： Topic: How to Solve Traffic Problem? General Statement : One of the most serious problems that most big cities are confronted with is traffic congestion. This problem is caused by thousands of cars coming into the cities from the suburban areas as well as from different parts of the country for business. This mammoth problem must be resolved before it gets worse. It gives a general background of the topic. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 Thesis Statement： The heavy traffic problem can be solved by building rapid transit systems from the suburbs to the cities, by improving pubic transportation systems within the cities, and by forming car pools. It indicates the overall “plan” of the essay. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 中间部分 议论文的结构是否严谨，条理是否清楚，论证是否严密，论据是否 妥当，关键在第二部分，即中间段的写作。 结构、条理、论证和论据等是八级议论文评分的重要细则之一，因 而，写作的时候要尽量符合这些标准。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 The Body Part 1 Your argumentative topic sentence 2.Supportive sentence the reasons for a view being valid. 3. Detailed support evidence: examples, statistics 4. Concluding sentence 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 作文（2）中的第二部分由5段组成，结构比较凌乱，条理性不强，首句 主题意思不明确。 1. China has large territory and population, as well as a large number of dialects, which are greatly different from each other. There are many people still cant speak or understand putonghua, the standard language. Main public places, such as subway stations and airports in big cities, have a great amount of people who may speak different dialects. 2. Therefore, it is necessary to provide service in dialect, so that people from different places, speaking their local dialects can receive the same service and convenience. Otherwise, it is a sign of discrimination to provide exclusive service in mandarin. 3. For another part, people who speak dialects may come across emergencies, and under that condition, putonghua may be more helpful and significant. In addition, it is not necessary to worry that providing dialect service may counter the national policy to promote putonghua. From those dialect speaking peoples perspective, learning putonghua is helpful and can benefit themselves when they enter into public places. 4. Thus, if needed they are willing to learn it. After all in most public places, putonghua speakers are more than dialect speakers. People can use putonghua more. 5. Human beings are equal and they have their own choice of speaking which language or dialect. Providing standard language should not be a confinement to people but a tool for effective communication. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 3. 结尾部分 一篇思想内容完整的作文离不开一个好的结尾。 议论文作文结尾部分的内容一般是前面部分的总结，加上建议或评论 。这部分应与前面部分保持论点上的一致性和统一性。 有的学生结尾部分喊几句口号，前后没有连贯性，破坏了作文的完整 性。 由于阅卷老师看完结尾后开始打分，因而文章的结尾的好坏会直接 影响到阅卷者的评分心理。 因而，一要有结尾，二要尽可能写好结尾。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 结尾一般写法 a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis in different words and your final comment/suggestion on the subject. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 问题(3)：思维、逻辑 目前,八级作文中存在着一个比较严重的问题就是一部分学生思维浅薄 ，深度不够，甚至思维混乱, 写出来的东西逻辑性差 ，无法用说服人的 道理去阐述自己的观点。 有的作文粗看蛮像样，结构清楚，细读却发现事理不通，不知所云。 例如： In the first place，dialects used in the public place will be helpful, but they will be more helpful if used at home because the family members can understand the dialect better. However, they can also use putonghua. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 讨论：作文 (3) 该作文算写得比较好。比如，第二部分分为三段，每段 提出一个论据支撑开头段提出的论点。每段的topic sentence 写得比较到位。内容看上去蛮充实，组织也有条理，文章连 贯性较好，语言比较丰富饱满。但是，思维、条理、逻辑等 出现了问题。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 Nowadays, many public places have adopted the use of dialect for the convenience of some particular group. Many people supported it, but some stongly criticize it, because they think it violates the national policy of promoting Putonghua. In my opinion, the use of dialect should not be accepted in the public place. I have three reasons to support my opinion. 开头段基本符合要求，既介绍了背景，又提出了自己的反对观 点， 还指出下面将从三个方面来进行论证 。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 First of all, the use of dialect in public place will reduce the efficiency for many people to obtain information, and to some degree it will be perceived as a kind of discrimination. For many people who do not understand the dialect, it will greatly waste their time. In the public place, where the people are coming from different areas, this phenomenon is extremely common in the big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, but the dialect can just be understood by a small portion of people, so if the public places adopt the use of dialect, most people will feel confused. This really reduces the efficiency of communication among people, and it just benefits a small number of people. 分析：第二部分的第一段主题句写得较好，点题清楚，讲了公共场所使用方 言的2个问题：信息获取效率降低、会被看做有歧视之嫌。下面进行了很好 的论证，最后用一句话进行了段落小节。层次清楚，表述连贯。 问题：“信息获取效率降低和被看做有歧视之嫌”两点放在一起，有点逻辑不 清，最好分开论证。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 Next, for a country, the use of dialect in the public place will have a negative effect on the promotion of putonghua. As a result, it will make a country less competitive. If the use of dialect will be adopted, many people who just understand their dialects will not feel the need to study putonghua. Consequently, this will hamper their communication with people from other places in the country. As we all know, effective communication with other groups of people will help us develop better. So it is evident that the use of dialects in public may finally weaken the strength of the whole country, and the channel to share different groups knowledge and culture will also be reduced. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 分析：第二部分的第二段从整个国家层面出发，提出公共场所使用方言会影响 普通话的推广，进而影响国力。后面进行了层层推导，具体分析，得出了自己 的结论。 问题问题 ：把说方言会“影响国力”，未免说得太大一点，而且说方言还会削弱文化 ，这点有问题。事实上，方言对维护 和弘扬文化起到了很大的推动作用。语言 和文化的关系非常密切，方言是文化的载体和重要组成部分，也是国家不可再 生的非物质文化，我们要尽可能维护世界语言的多样性 。当然，在公共场合为 了交流的有效性，还是提倡讲普通话。 这说明学生对语言和文化关系缺乏深入思考，思维逻辑 性不强。这也是在许 多考生身上反映出来的问题，想到哪里写到哪里，没有顾及事实和逻辑。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 Last, the use of dialect in the public place will cause misunderstanding and conflict among different groups of people. As we can see that, in the novel of A Passage to India, the conflict of India and Britain is largely derived from their diverse language and culture. The use of dialect in the public place in China will inevitably cause the same conflict situation. People from different areas will continue to speak their own dialect and foster their own culture. When divergence among them became little, the conflict and misunderstanding will arise as a result. People who do not understand other peoples dialect will continue to ignore their existence in the public place. And then, the whole will be divided into many small groups. 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 分析：主题句讲了在公共场合讲方言会引起不同人群间的误解和冲突。 举例有一定深度，能从文学作品挖掘，“印度之行”中印度人和英国人 之间的冲突一大部分归结于语言和文化的差异。但是后面一句“在中国 的公共场合使用方言必然会引发相同的冲突情况”比较武断、轻率和不 合理。中国和当时印度的社会文化及政治背景截然不同，所以这一比较 是不太妥切的。 后面论述有点思维不清的问题：“从不同地方来的人们将继续讲他 们自己的方言，培育他们自己的文化。当他们间的分歧缩小，最终冲突 和误解就会产生”。不明白这是什么意思。 段落的结论与主题句有割裂，意思不明晰。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 In conclusion, as I have mentioned above, the use of dialect will cause many problems. For ourselves, it will reduce the efficiency of obtaining information; for our country, it will make us less competitive, and even it will cause misunderstanding and conflict among different groups of people. So I think, the use of dialect should be accepted. 总结 得非常好，用排比句“For ourselves, it will; for our country, it will ”很好地归纳 了讨论 的要点和中心思想。但是，最后一句有点仓促， 而且还漏写了not，与原来的观点相左。不过，看得出是笔误。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 专家评语 1. 作文审题准确，正确理解了题目和要求，与讨论主题紧密联系。 2. 文章结构清晰，第一段的thesis statement观点清楚,后面论述部分 的topic sentence也写得较好，论据充分。结尾部分自然合理，与首段 的thesis statement很好地做了呼应。 3. 思路比较清晰，从dialect角度出发，举例有一定深度，能从文学作 品挖掘。 4. 语言流畅，用词用句较好，反映出考生有较好的语言驾驭能力和四年 级英语专业学生较好的综合素质。 5. 有的地方思维混乱、逻辑推断不清楚的问题以及语言语法错误。 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 问题（5）语言 语言项是作文评分的重要标准之一， 中国教师比较注重，因为，大四学生 四年的语言学习可以在作文中得到充 分的体现 。 语言好、驾驭能力强的作文一般都会 得到教师的青睐而获得高分。 大部分考生语言较差，反映在： 1. 乱搭配：pay attention on 2. 中式英语: touch society 3. 句式单调，混乱 4. 语法错误：时态、语态、人 称混乱 5. 拼写错误 6. 大小写、标点符号错误 英语专业八级考试在线课堂 专家对第一篇的评语： 审题错误，结构不好, 思路不清, 通篇都是语言、语法、用词等错误。 不能反映出一个英语专业八级学生的水平。 1. Putonghua helps produce the communication barriers. (reduce, remove) 2. China has a big country of a large population and 56 minorities. In sequent, there are different dialects in different groups. has: is ; minorities: ethnic minorities In sequent: In consequence; groups: areas 3. If we all learn putonghua, we can take the barriers and say with othe