如何写好作文邸建红.ppt

如何写好英语作文,1简洁性（Conciseness）,1.1 尽可能把从句变成短语，把短语变成单词。如： When I pushed the door open, I saw a group of young people. Pushing the door open, I saw a group of young people. There are many questions in life, which puzzle some people. There are many puzzling questions in life.,1.2 避免不必要的重复，包括语义重复和同词重复。 She is attractive in appearance, but she is a rather foolish person. She is attractive, but rather foolish. It was blue in color, round in shape, small in size. It was blue, round and small.,For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thing to be used to buy the thing they need. Diligent, caring people use money only to buy what they need.,2. 多样性（Variety）,2.1 用词的多样性：在表达相同的词意时，尽量用不同的词汇。 例1He argued that It is (generally) accepted that He claimed that It is often pointed out He maintained that It is taken for granted He insisted that,2Be interested in take an interest in have a liking for 3develop cultivate 4family car individual consumption household vehicle,5. Today it can be said that wheels run American. The four tires of the automobile move American through work and play. Wheels spin, and people drive off their jobs. Tires turn, and people stop for the weeks food at the big supermarket down the highway. Hubcaps whirl, and the whole family spend a day at the cake. Each year more wheels crowd the highways as 10 million new cars roll out of the factories. One out of every six Americans works at assembling cars, driving trucks, building roads, or pumping gas. American without cars? It is unthinkable.,2.2 句式变化的多样性 通过句子变换（transformation of sentence）, 运用不同结构，选用不同句式来表达相同的内容，使表意手段更为多样化。,2.2.1 既可以用主动式也可以用被动式，如： We certainly should make great efforts. Great efforts are certainly required.,2.2.2既可以用肯定式也可以用否定式，如： The lesson will be firmly rooted in our minds. We will never forget this lesson.,2.2.3既可以是正常语序也可以是倒装语序，如： One cant learn anything until he rids himself of complacency. Only when one rids himself of complacency can he learn something.,2.2.4 某些成分既可以放在句子前面也可以放在句子后面，还可以放在中间，如： With a car, people can get around freely. People can get around freely with a car. People, with a car, can get around freely.,2. 3 句子长度的多样性,长句子有利于复杂思想的表达，论证的严密，但不够活泼、简练。 短句子生动、简洁，但容量小， 不利于表达复杂的语义内容。最好长短句交换使用。,When she returned to her office , she found a note from Mr. May under the door. He said that he had been waiting for her in the park but didnt find her. He was sorry for that.,She returned to her office. She found a note. It was from Mr. May. It was under the door. He said he had been waiting for her in the park. He didnt find her. He was sorry for that. (She returned to her office and found a note from Mr. May. It was under the door. He said he had been waiting for her in the park, but he didnt find her. He was sorry for that.),3统一性（Unity）,一个句子不论长短，所表达的只能有一个中心明确且意思相对完整的内容(oneness of thought)。如：,1. The police helped him when his important documents were lost and he found them several days later. 句子的统一性原则要求句子只有一个明确的中心。此句有两个中心the police 和he , 最好改为： He lost his important documents, but found them with the help of the police several days later.,2. Miss Li Hong was my former friend, and she started for Australia last month. 上面这句话是有毛病的，其中包含了两种思想。为了达到一致性的要求，应予修改如下： Miss Li Hong, my former friend, started for Australia last month.,3. We went to the zoo last Sunday. We saw lovely animals. It was a fine day. We had a wonderful time. 上面这几句话，好像是在述说与去动物园有关的事，不能分散叙述，应予合并改写，使之符合一致性的要求： Last Sunday , a fine day, we went to the zoo, where we had a wonderful time looking at the lovely animals.,影响保持句子一致性的一些缺点为： （1）把句子写得过短或过长； （2）加入的从属句过多； （3）把一些无关的思想挤入一些话中 去。,4. 完整性（Completeness）,由于英语句子重形合，句法结构要完整，即一个句子必须有主语、谓语和其他必要的辅助成分，必须避免句子残缺不全。,1. For example, the increase in the cost of renting a house. 此句只有名词短语而无谓语动词，结构不完整，不能作为一个独立的句子来看待。应改为： For example, the cost of renting a house has increased.,2. There are many people dont believe in science. 此句是典型的中国式英语句式，也是写作中常出现的错误句式。此句应改为： Many people dont believe in science. There are many people who dont believe in science.,3.There are many ways to know the society. For example by TV ，radio ， newspaper and so on . “For example by TV ,radio ,newspaper and so on .”不是一个完整的句子，仅为一些不连贯的词语，不能独立成句改为： There are many ways to know society ， for example ，by TV ，radio and newspaper.,4. 连贯性（Coherence）,4.1 Her voice was clear, deep and with resonance. Her voice was clear, deep and resonant. 并列结构必须是同类的结构并列。原句违反这一原则，破坏了句子成分的和谐和句式的优美对称,4.2 My mother is a musician; therefore I have also chosen it as my profession. My mother is a musician; therefore I have also chosen music as my profession. 代词起连接语篇的作用，它能体现句子之间的逻辑联系，上面句中it 指代不明，模棱两可。,4.3 After eating our lunch, the driver called us to the bus. After eating our lunch, we were called to the bus by the driver. 此句非谓语动词的逻辑主语与主语不一致。这显然不是作者的原意，改正后的句子就清楚多了。,4.4 The basketball players were disappointed, caused by the sudden change of weather. The basketball players were disappointed because the weather suddenly changed. 此句caused引出的分词短语与前半句没有意义联系，导致短语失去修饰对象而呈游离或垂悬状态，从而破坏了整个句子的逻辑连贯性。,另外，不仅语句之间需要连贯，段落之间也需要连贯。也就是，主题句与发展句之间，发展句与发展句之间符合一般逻辑思维规律的关系。句间逻辑严密合理，思维流畅自然，下句式上句逻辑上的自然衍生。主要问题：前言不搭后语，思维不流畅；逻辑不清楚，甚至逻辑错误；发展句涉及两个或两个以上的主题；语言表达重复。,下面是学生的一段文章，要求写“科学技术给人类带来的问题”： But science and technology may cause some social problems. Criminals may make use of high technology to commit crimes. And whats more, with the rapid development of industry and ever-increasing population, the world will have to face energy crisis and pollution. Many people may suffer from energy shortage and air pollution. So we should protect the environment.,语段的主题句是谈“科学技术给人类带来的问题”，“主旨点”是“some social problems”。语段可以采用“举例法”或“列举法”展开。第一个例证，罪犯利用高科技犯罪，应该可以的。但是在第二个例证中，作者把人口增长作为导致能源危机和污染的一个原因，就脱离了“主旨点”的限定。“科技技术带来的问题”与“环境保护”是两个话题，这就违反了“一段一个中心”的原则，导致主题表述不连贯。此外，逻辑衔接语“and whats more”，一般引出“更有趣或更令人激动的事情”，即多引出“好的事情”。因此，此处使用不当。这一段可以修改如下：,But science and technology may cause some social problems. The extensive use of technology is decreasing the employment opportunities. It also arouses some peoples worry about the prospect that man will be under the control of robots. And worst of all, criminals may use of high technology to commit crimes.,5强势性（Emphasis）,5.1 倒装法。 把应强调的成分提至句首，使之突出。如： Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay. From outer space or from the depths of the ocean. a computer can get information for scientists.,5.2 渐进法。渐进法通常用来对某些并列的成分表示强调。运用渐进法，能使思想认识逐步加深，使语言工整优美，增强说服力和感染力。 如： The inhabitants of the city were robbed, starved and killed.,5.3 重复法。如前所述，写作应力求简练，避免重复。但是在一些特殊情况下，往往需要对一些关键性的词有意识，有目的地加以重复，以受到突出重点，加强语气的效果。如： Darkness deepened and deepened,5.4 将松散句改作尾重句。 从修辞学的角度看，松散句把句子的主题摆在面前，把其他的修饰成分摆在后面，平铺直叙，没有高峰点。而尾重句将一句话的主旨放在最后说出，给读者造成悬念，形成句式高峰。既达到强调重点，突出中心的目的，又增添节奏变化，避免句式单调。如： He knew he had little chance of getting the job although he wanted it. Although he wanted the job, he knew he had little chance o