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Attitudes of respect, modesty and fair play can grow only out of slowly acquired skills that parents teach their children over many years through shared experience and memory. If a child reaches adulthood with recollections only of television, Little League and birthday parties, then that child has little to draw on when a true test of character comes upsay, in a prickly business situation. “Unless that child feels grounded in who he is and where he comes from, everything else is an act,” says etiquette expert Betty Jo Trakimas.The Dickmeyers of Carmel. Ind., reserve every Friday night as “family night” with their three children. Often the family plays board games or hide-and-seek. “My children love it,” says Theresa, their mother.Can playing hide-and-seek really teach a child about manners? Yes, say Trakimas and others, because it tells children that their parents care enough to spend time with him, he is loved and can learn to love others. “Manners arent about using the right fork, agrees etiquette instructor Patricia Gilbert-Hinz. “Manners are about being kindgiving compliments, team-playing, making sacrifices. Children learn that through their parents.”While children dont automatically warm to the idea of learning to be polite, theres no reason for them to see manners as a bunch of stuffy restrictions either. Theyre the building blocks of a childs education. “Once a rule becomes second nature, it frees us,” Mitchell says. “How well could Michael Jordan play basketball if he had to keep reminding himself of the rules?”Judith Martin concurs. “A polite child grows up to get the friends and the dates and the job interviews,” she says, “because people respond to good manners. Its the language of all human behavior.”培养仪式尊重他人、为人谦虚和公正无私等种种品质,都是父母通过多年来和孩子共同的经历和回忆教导出来的。这些技能是父母对孩子们多年来通过共同的经历和记忆中的往事教导出来的。孩子成年时,如果回忆中只有电视、“小棒球对”和生日聚会的话,那么当真正考验人的品格的时候,这些孩子就没有什么东西可以依托了。“除非孩子们知道自己是谁、来自什么地方,否则,一切都是装出来的,”礼仪专家贝蒂乔特拉基玛斯说。印第安那州卡美尔市的迪克迈耶夫妇将每周五晚上定为和三个孩子们共度“家庭夜”的时间。一家人常常玩跳棋或者玩抓迷藏游戏。“孩子们喜欢家庭夜,”孩子的母亲特里萨说。玩抓迷藏游戏真地能教会孩子们懂得礼貌吗?特拉基玛斯和一些人认为这是毫无疑问的,因为是在告诉孩子们,父母是关心他们的,愿意花时间陪他们玩。孩子们得到了爱,也将学会去爱他人。“讲究礼貌不是关于正确地使用叉子的问题,”礼仪教师帕特里夏吉尔伯特欣兹同意这种说法。“讲究礼貌是关于为人友善的问题会向人问候、与人合作并且乐于牺牲。而这一切,孩子都是从父母身上学得的。孩子们不会自动激起学习讲究礼貌的热情,他们也没有理由会把礼貌看作是一大堆烦人的约束条件。良好的行为举止是儿童教育的基本构件。“一旦规则成了第二天性,它就赋予我们自由了,”米切尔说。“如果迈克尔乔丹要不断地提醒自己注意有关篮球的规则,他怎能把球打好呢?”朱迪斯马丁赞同这一观点。“一个有礼貌的孩子长大成人后,能够结交到朋友、有约会可赴、有工作可选,”她说,“因为人们会对良好举止给予回报。良好的举止是全人类行为的语言。”Hypocritical oaths of private hospitalsEighteen-year-old Khairul Anuar Salim, who was attacked by hoodlums, succumbed to his wounds because, according to his uncle, a private hospital in Cheras insisted on “Money first then treatment”. That is because the bottom line of private hospitals is profit. They have no intention to treat those who cannot afford to pay. They feel that the government should bear the responsibility for health care of ordinary folks who cannot afford or are unwilling to pay.That is also why they do not release the deceaseds body until they secure payment from the next of kin never mind that the latter are under stress and grieving. In this, they are acting like the banks except that instead of using properties or shares as collateral for payment, they use the dead persons body. Doctors have taken their Hippocratic oath to uphold the special value of human life above personal profit, to use their medical knowledge to ameliorate suffering and pain and in emergencies, do the best for anyone in medical need regardless of their financial means. It is sad that more often than not the Hippocratic oath has become the hypocritical oath in the case of doctors in the private hospitals. Many join the private hospitals to make money. By itself, there is nothing wrong in making money except that it is difficult to balance the irreconcilable conflict, which must invariably exist, between the imperatives of profit and those of compassion and care of the Hippocratic Oath. Administrative staff merely carry out the private hospitals policies on charges and billings including “No money no treatment” or “No money no body” laid down from above by their directors who may not all be physicians and, if public-listed, have to further account to faceless shareholders to whom profits and share prices should go up for every successive financial year. Hence patients may be required to pay RM10 for toilet rolls, not to mention thousands of ringgit for surgery or stay in a deluxe room for convalescence. Fast registration, four-star private rooms for recuperation, televisions and toilet rolls are fine but they must be recognised for essentially what they are - mere frills. The main substance of medical attention is proper medical evaluation, correct diagnosis of the problem, advice and treatment including surgery if necessary. This is the raison detre of seeking admission in a hospital in the first instance. What is being asked here is whether this raison detre may be subverted by the bottom line monetary policies of private hospitals. I think it may be. For examples, how could one diagnose an ailment that requires sophisticated medical equipment for detection when the private hospitals first consideration is how much such equipment would cost how that would increase their operational expenses by leasing payments? And even if such costly equipment may be acquired, could the patient afford to pay for its use (necessary to amortise its costs), and if he cannot, should such equipment be availed to his benefit just because, from the strictly medical point of view, it helps in more accurate and speedy diagnosis? Doctors in private hospitals may have to pay high rentals for their clinics and they may even be required to meet some kind of budget in terms of billings and collections to contribute to the common weal of sharing expenses (as they do equally for profits) for their practice in such hospitals. Will such doctors purport to do a cursory scan (for purposes of increasing their charges) when neither doctor nor hospital have the proper equipment nor the expertise to do such a scan? Where for the sake of maximisation of profits a doctor mans several clinics in different locations to which he has to make his rounds, wouldnt he spread himself too thin in terms of attention to any individual patient? Will a general surgeon treat a severed finger by routine suture that ultimately deforms it for the sake of earning the surgery fee when the situation requires a specialist in microsurgery of which he is not? What happens in the midst of an open abdominal surgery by a surgeon specialising in gastroenterology when the patient develops heart complications will the heart specialist or surgeon (in the context of a private hospital) be ready on standby to assist; or if such a specialist is not around, does that mean the “stomach surgeon” will try to make the best of the situation by trying his hands on the heart as well; and even if the heart specialist is available to be called upon for assistance, will he negotiate and requests for a commitment on payment of his fees first? I can go on and on with litanies of situations fraught with confli

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