化学专业英语写作-第五章.ppt

1,第五章 科技英语中常用修辞学,2,文章是由段落组成的，段落又是由句子组成的，句子是表达思想感情的最小语言单位，因此要把文章写好，就必须把句子造好，每个段落写好，写好段落和要造好句子就必须掌握四大要素：统一性，连贯性，强势性和简洁性。,3,1统一性(unity),句子的统一性包括每一个句话都有一个明确的中心思想，一句话只允许讲述一个中心思想，一句中若出现两个或两个以上相关连的思想时，我们要判断哪个是主要思想，哪个是从属思想？分别以主句和从句将思想表达出来。如果两个思想重要性相等，又密切关连，则用并列连接词，写出并列句，如果两个或更多的思想互不关连，则用两个或更多的句子来表达，否则将两个以上互不关联的概念放入一个句子，时而以甲为对象，时而以乙作对象，变得语无论次，就破坏了句子的统一性。,4,1.1 把两个不相关连的思想放在一起,病句：(1) The quality of the half-tone reproduction depends both on the grade of the paper used (the glossier the better) and on the fineness of the screen, in general the finer screen giving the better detail, but the limit is set by the absorbency of the paper and the quality of the printing, not every printer being equipped to reproduce half-tones with maximum charity. 这个句子语法正确，但内容过多，含意也不密切相连，使人抓不住要点，破坏了句子统一性，如换成三个句子，则层次清楚。,5,The quality of the half-tone reproduction depends both on the grade of paper used and on the fineness of the screen. In general, glassy paper and finer screens give better detail, but the limit is set by the absorbency of the paper and the quality of the printing. Not every printer is equipped to reproduce half-tones with maximum clarity. （照像铜版复制的质量取决于所用纸的区别和印刷网板的精细，一般光学的纸和较粘制的网板会产生较好的清晰度，但其限度要由纸的吸墨性和印刷质量来决定。并不是每一台印刷机的装备都能够制备高清晰度的照相铜板。）,6,(2) The vessel made for the shore, and the passengers soon crowded into the boats, and the beach was reached in safety, and the inhabitants of the island received them with the utmost kindness. 这个句子意思混乱，不好懂，因为句子的主语变化太多，造成概念上的混乱，纠正的方法是确定一个中心思想，以它作主体统率全局，现以passengers为主，改写： The vessel having made for the shore, the passengers soon crowed into the boats and safely reached the beach, where they were received with the utmost kindness by the inhabitants of the island.（轮船驶入港口，乘客们涌上小艇，安全到达海滩，在那里他们受到了岛上居民极其热烈地接待。）,7,1.2 把应该密接的思想分开来 病句：Mr. Wang was a wonderful electrical engineer, He was also a mathematical genius. At first he worked in a telegraph office and had to leave because he became deaf. Finally he retired to Tianjin, and lived alone. 除了给儿童或初学外文的人写作时，需要简短的句子外，一般在写作上很少都是简单句主+谓+宾一类的格式，科学论文也不例外，一联串的短句，犹如一架不停开放的机关抢，声音单调而机械，使人看了神经紧张，因而在文字上不能起到吸引读者的作用，上文可改写：,8,Mr. Wang was not only a wonderful electrical engineer but also a mathematical genius. Owing to deafness he had to leave the telegraph office where he first worked and retired to Tianjin, and lived alone. 王先生不仅是一位出色的电气工程师，还是一位数学天才，由于耳聋，他不得不离开当初他工作的电报局而退休到天津，在那里他独自生活着。,9,1.3 不对等的思想用对等的连接词加以连接,病句：Our classmate was ill and it was the reason why he was absent so long.（我们班那位同学生病了，这是他缺课这么久的原因。） 这句话把重要性不同的从句并列，破坏了句子统一性，改正如下： The reason why our classmate was absent so long was that he was ill. 或 Our classmate was absent for such a long time because he was ill.,10,1.4 没理由地突然改变句子结构,1.4.1 突然改变主语和动词的语态 病句：He ran to the station and the train was taken by him. 应改为：He ran to the station and took the train. 这里不是说一句中的并列谓语或并列复合句中绝对不能使用不同的语态，只是说在能够一致时，应尽量一致。,11,病句：He studies very hard and his leisure hours are devoted to lessons. 他学习非常努力，空闲时间全花在功课上。 此句两分句主语不一致，较差，改成如下句子就好些。 He studies very hard, and devotes his leisure hours to lessons. 病句：No matter how force is produced, we can measure it in pounds. 不管力是如何产生的，都可用磅来计算。 No matter how force is produced, it can be measured in pounds.,12,1.4.2 没有理由地改变主语或宾语的数 病句：(1) If one tries hard, they can pass the entrance examination. (2) He carefully wiped each of the instruments and put them away. 1.4.3 没有理由地突然改变时态和语态 病句：For the tenth time he sent his manuscript to the editor, but again it is returned to him. They would save almost $500 if they can re-use the containers.,13,2. 连贯性(Coherence),一篇好的论文犹如一条长链，每一节是一个环，一节很自然地带来另一节，一句带来另一句。作者的思想自始至终要相互连续，也就是要有连贯性，句与句之间要有技巧的连接，词与词之间，词组与词组之间的关系要明确，使人一目了然。修饰词、连接词、先行词、转换词序等要处理得当，否则会引起不连贯，要达到连贯性，应注意以下几点：,14,2.1 平行结构 一个句子里两个或两个以上的句子成分起同一种职能时，应当使用相当的词类，使它们对称。在使用并列连接词如and, but, or, bothand, not onlybut also, eitheror, neithernor, 等，应该名词连名词，动词连动词，从句连从句。如果连接的成分不对称，就会破坏句子结构的对称性，就会破坏连贯性。,15,误：The turbines exhaust sometime into the heating system and sometime they exhaust into the atmosphere.用and 连接的成分不相同。 正：The turbines exhaust sometime into the heating system and sometime into the atmosphere. 误：We can not only make electronic computer, but also can design them. 正：We not only can make electronic computer, but also can design them. 或：We can not only make electronic computer, but also design them.,16,误：He moved steadily neither looking left nor right, neither to slacken nor hastening his footsteps. 正：He moved steadily looking neither left nor right neither slackening nor hastening his footsteps. 误：Geophysics provides a method of finding oil, several kinds of ore, and the probable means of exploiting them. The probable means 和 oil及several kinds of ore意思不平行，不能放在finding的宾语位置上。,17,2.2 修饰词的使用 分词，动名词，不定式，省略句等在使用时，要注意用主语的呼应，不可使它孤零零地无所依附，或依附在错误的词上，而成为无所属或架空的修饰词，使人费解。,18,2.2.1 分词 误：Differentiating both sides with respect to x, the equation becomes x2+y2=z2. equation本身不能进行differentiating，因此differentiating成了架空的修饰词，造成不连贯。 正：Differentiating both sides with respect to x, we obtain the equation x2+y2=z2. 误：Being short of trucks, the machine parts had to be carried to the works. 正：Being short of trucks, they had to carry the machine parts to the works.,19,2.2.2 动名词 误：By closing the draft, much fuel was saved. By closing the draft与主语fuel不呼应。 正：By closing the draft , the experimenter saved much fuel.借助停止通风 正：Because the draft had bee closed, much fuel was saved. 误：After reading the test, the subject is still blank to him. 正：After reading the test, he is still blank about the subject.,20,2.2.3 不定式 误：To prevent flood and waterlogging have built many small sluices. 正：To prevent flood and waterlogging, they have built many small sluices. 正：To prevent flood and waterlogging, many small sluices have been built. 误：To correct this error must balance the equation. 正：To correct this error, we balance the equation. 误：This work is necessary to finish within this week. 正：This work is necessary to be finished within this week.,21,2.2.4 省略句 误：While listening to the radio, a fire broke out. 从字面理解从句中省略了fire和动词was，但while the fire was listening to the radio意思是不通的。 正：While we were listening to the radio, a fire broke out. 误：Although tested the day before, he could not start the auxiliary engine when the main power supply failed. 从字面理解，从句省略了he was,但加上后意思不通。 正：Although tested the day before, the auxiliary engine would not start when the main power supply failed. 正：Although it had been tested the day before, he could not start the auxiliary engine when the main power supply failed.,22,2.3 代名词的先行词要明确 一个代名词前，若有两个或两个以上的名词都可被认作为此代名词是先行词时，则破坏了连贯性，例： 误：The gage was attached to the tank, but it was found to be defective. 正：The gage, which was found to be defective, was attached to the tank. 误：He told William to put Johns tools into his car. 正：He told William to put Johns tools into Johns car.,23,2.4 从句中已有名词时，不宜以it作泛指代名词 用it作泛指代名词时，可代表前面一句，或一个从句，从句中若有名词可能被误认为it的先行词时，则不要用it作泛指代名词，否则就破坏了连贯性。 误：If the tank is patched, it will reduce the losses. 正：If the tank is patched, the losses will be reduced.,24,2.5 没有先行词时，不要用代词 误：A new era began when they finally split the atom. 正：A new era began when scientists split the atom.,25,2.6 关系代名词what不能带有先行词 关系代词what = that which，本身带有先行词，因此不能再带有先行词。 误：A principle of science tells the thing what usually happens under certain conditions.本句以thing作what先行词，而what不需要先行词，因此造成不连贯。 正：A principle of science tells what usually happens under certain conditions.,26,2.7 比较句中前后要一致 误：The Pacific alone covers an area larger than all the continents put together.前半句谈面积，后半句谈大陆，无法比较。 正：The Pacific alone corers an area larger than that of all the continents put together. 误：The sand jet is as good, if not better than any. 正：The sand jet is as good as any other, if not better.,27,3. 强势性(Emphasis),强势性是修词学中的主要原则之一，它的目的在于使句子的意义加重或使语句变得更加有力，从而使读者加深印象，强势性可通过以下几点获得： 3.1 位置法 英文句中，句首和句尾是重要的强势位置，因此较不重要的字或片语要放在句中部，这是作家常用的手法。,28,例：松 As we know it, a compound results from the chemical union of two or more elements. 强 A compounds, as we know it, results from the chemical union of two or more elements. 一些连接词和副词如however, therefore, moreover, nevertheless等，有时就被放在句中间。 Kerosene(美语，煤油)=paraffin molecules, however, have longer carbon chains than gasoline molecules. We must, therefore, conclude that when the distance between the molecules is very small, there are force of repulsion.,29,3.2 反序法 反常字序的句子，会引起读者的注意，可加强语势，但不可用得太多。 松 New data on this subject are presented in the paper. 强 Presented in the paper are new data on his subject. 松 The use of the electronic computer, which plays a very important part in production and our daily life, will be still wider. 强 Still wider will be the use of the electronic computer, which plays a very important part in production and our daily life.,30,3.3 渐进法 将语势逐渐加强，修词学上叫“渐进法”，也就是将力量强势不等的几个同类成分按照由弱到强的顺序使用，由最弱的开始，最强的结尾，这样就构成了较强的语势，例如： 松 In unaccelerated, level, straight flight, lift must equal weight and thrust must equal drag.（在平直而不加速的飞行中，升力必须等于重力，而推力必须等于阻力。） 强 In straight, level, unaccelerated flight, lift must equal weight and thrust must equal drag.,31,3.4 比较和对照 将几种思想比较和对照，能使句子更有力。例如： We should impart our courage and not our despair, our health and not our disease. 3.5 采用主动语态 主动语态一般比被动语态语气强些。例如： 松 Sound is produced by vibrating matter. 强 Vibrating matter produces sound.,32,3.6 避免使用一串多于4个的定语，恰当地使用前置词，把形容词改成宾语，试比较。 弱 New, more discriminating nature type apparatus. 强 New apparatus of a more discriminating nature更具有鉴别性能的新式仪器。 弱 650,000 electron volts energy level electrons. 强 Electrons with an energy of 650,000 electron volts.,33,3.7 省略不必要的字，使全句简洁有力。 比如有定语从句改成定语（形容词或短语） 松 The data that are in the report seem valid. 强 The data in the report seem valid. 松 Since the committee has already made three reports, only one report remains to be presented. 强 去掉one report中的report 松 A dry cell has two posts, one post is in the center of the dry cell and the other post is at the edge of the dry cell. 强 A dry cell has two posts, one is in the center and the other at the edge.,34,3.8 使用 very, really, certainly, exactly等词 1The electrons surrounding the nucleus contribute very little to the atomic mass.（原子核周围的电子对于原子量影响极小） 2It would be really difficult to make a thin film integrated circuit without vacuum deposition. 想要制造薄膜集成电路不进行真空沉积实在困难。 3If you could make a row of copper atoms by placing one next to the other, you might need exactly 100 million to cover an inch. （假定你能够把铜原子一个按一个地排列起来，也许要整整一亿个铜原子才能排满一英寸。）,35,4. 简洁(concise),写作时要求简洁，防止赘述，频冗，罗嗦，冗长。分述如下： 4.1 赘述(Tautology) needless repetition 4.1.1 不要重复形容词的比较级和最高级 误 He received a most vital wound（受了致命伤） 正 He received a vital wound. 误 It became colder more and more. 正 It became colder and colder.,36,4.1.2 副词gradually不能与little by little, more and more, less and less, day by day等词语连用。 误 The scientific research on magnetic field has gradually become less and less interesting. 正 把上句gradually去掉。 或正 The scientific research on magnetic field has gradually become uninteresting. 4.1.3 time and again, from time to time, now and then等会有“间或”“不时”的意思，用了之后就不要用occasionally, at intervals. 误 Now and then we saw the elastic deformation occasionally. 正 上句去掉occasionally 正 we occasionally saw the elastic deformation.,37,4.1.4 用了asas, soas等关连词组修饰形容词或副词，就不要用very等强势字。 误 The cleaning power of detergent is as very effective in hard water as in soft. 正 去掉上句very 4.1.5 有了具体里数，就不要再用far, distance等词。 误 We stand the pole ten miles far from here. 正 去掉上句far,38,4.1.6 much, little, enough等字本身含有量的概念，所以不能再用quantity连用。 误 A much quantity of mineral was found in the water. 正 Much mineral was found in the water. 正 A large quantity of mineral was found in the water. 误 China has enough quantity of resources. 正 China has enough resources.,39,4.1.7 many和few都指数而言，many = a large number of, 所以不要与number连用。 误 There were many numbers of people at the meeting. 正 There were many people at the meeting. 正 There was a large number of people at the meeting. 4.1.8 用了exception就不要再使用和except同义的but 误 Carrying the instrument, do not touch any part but a few exceptions 正 把上句but换成with,40,4.1.9 least, most, half等字，已含有“一部分”的含意，不要再加part这个字，但for the most part是例外。 误 Most part of the energy we use is produced by burning fuel. 正 Most of the energy we use is produced by burning fuel. 误 The larger half part of his life was devoted to scientific research. 正 The larger half of his life was devoted to scientific research. 4.1.10 在exist后不能再用in the world 误 Such ideas have long existed in the world. 正 去掉in the world,41,4.2 烦冗(p