20101006开放作文笑脸.ppt

开放作文讲评,开放作文,请根据下面提示，写一篇短文。 词数不少于50。 130-140左右最好。能充分阐释观点。,审立意,要素：2个杯子+杯中物+笑脸,抓细节 选角度 揭寓意,要素：2个杯子+杯中物+笑脸 杯子-我们（杯子本身角度）；他人（旁观者角度） 杯中物-能力；财富；收获；知识 笑脸-积极的人生态度: 拥有多少都快乐； 积极的人生态度: 半瓶子水也快乐！ 欠妥的人生态度: 半瓶子水也快乐？,正确的立意1,As far as I am concerned, what the picture tries to get across to us is that whatever we have, we should keep a positive attitude towards life.,The picture conveys much about a wise outlook on our life. Apparently, it is easy to make a pleasant face when our mugs are full-when we got accepted to our dream school, got engaged to our dream girl or our paycheck doubled its size overnight. However, the challenge is to smile when the mug is half-empty- when the circumstances dont quite live up to our expectations. Instead of mourning over the empty half, we should concentrate on what we have already had.,写作中出现的问题 蓝笔： 书写：涂抹；潦草 分段：首行缩进4个字母 直接引语： 瞎编故事： 文尾点题： 滥用套话： 语言：,We can see two cups in the picture. One of them is full of water so there is a broad smile on the face of the cup. However, the other is only half full, but it also has a smile on its face. （描图） What the picture wants to convey to us is that we should be optimistic and content with whatever we have. Were as happy as the full cup when we own a lot of stuff, but we should learn from the other cup and make ourselves happy even if we only have a little. （提观点+结合图阐述） In real life, we cant be as rich or pretty as some other people, but were not supposed to feel jealous or sorry for ourselves. We ought to focus on those things we already have such as health and love from those who care about us. Only in this way can we have a light heart and real happiness. （结合实际+提出解决方式） 姚丽莎,As can be seen in the picture, therere two cups of the same size, both of which have a smiling face. One is full while the other is half filled. The picture is trying to convey a message that we should hold a positive attitude all the time no matter what kind of situation were in. “Full” is better than “half full”, but this can not bother the cup. It remains happy in both of the situations. Things are the same with human beings. Every day, we face all kinds of situations, good or bad, easy or difficult. By holding a positive attitude, we can make light of the difficult and enjoy the easy. In this case, nothing can stop us from being a happy person whose life is full of sunshine. In a word, whether we can be happy or unhappy all depends on the attitude. The happiest person isnt the one with the most possessions, but the one with a positive attitude. (刘玥), In my opinion, the picture tells us an important truth. Happiness doesnt depend on how much you have, but your attitude towards life. Being full-filled is sure to make you delighted, however, staying half-filled is still a thing that youre able to appreciate. It becomes more and more common that we get used to complaining about what we dont possess. But what we dont realize is that focusing our eyes on the “empty” part always makes us lose the balance of our minds. Now that we have half of it full, why cant we cherish what weve already had? This state of mind will bring us peace and happiness, just like the half-filled cu