不能对爱人说的话.doc

不能对爱人说的话 1.ItsyourfaultSometimes,afinancialdecisiongoesbad,oneofyourchildrengetsintroubleatschool,orsomehouseholdcalamityoccurs.Andknowthisthingsdogobadfromtimetotimeinanyrelationship.Decisionsturnoutwrong.StuffhappensButtheblamegameneverworksItalienates.Itdivides.Itmostcertainlyunderminestrustandopenneinyourrelationship. 1.那是你的错有时会做出错误的经济开支决定你的个孩子在学校闯祸了或者出了一些家庭灾难你需要知道这些事情在任何家庭中都屡次发生做出错误的决定自然就发生了这样的事但是“责备”丝毫不会奏效它只会疏远和离间你们而且毫无疑问地会伤害到你们之间的信任和坦诚 2.ItoldyousoTrustusonthisthesefourwordsarerarelyeverusedinsuccessfulmarriages.Thiskindofeuppancehasnoplaceinalovingrelationship.Thereisnoneedtoremindyourspousethatyouwererightaboutsomethingandtheywerewrong.Talkaboutwastedcriticism 2.我早告诉过你相信我在成功的婚姻里几乎不会出现这几个字在爱情中不应有这种类似于“幸灾乐祸”的责难你完全没有必要去提醒你的爱人关于一些事你是对的而TA是错的那些批评没有任何意义 3.SayingIamupsetwithyouaboutthisorthat.inapublicsetting.Tellingprivatesecretsorcriticizingyourspouseinpublicortosomeoneelsecandopermanentdamagetothetrustinyourrelationship.Trueornotitdoesntmatter.Keepprivatethingsprivate. 3.在公共场合就说：“我真受不你这样或那样”在别人面前揭你爱人的短或批评将会对你们感情中的信任造成永久性的伤害对错并不重要家里的事家里解决 4.Whydoyoualways.Focusingonyourspousesweakneratherthanbuildingontheirstrengthswillonlyincreasetheirweakneanddiminishtheirstrength.Thishabitcansendarelationshipintoadownwardspiralifweaknessesarepointedoutandmentedupon.Succedoesbreedsuccess.Stickwiththestrengthsanddontfocusonweakness. 4.你老是?总盯着你爱人的缺点而不是放大TA的优点只会让TA的优点更少缺点更多指出并批评爱人的缺点这一毛病会让你们的感情每况愈下成功孕育成功多注意对方的优点不要总盯着缺点 5.Askforyourspousesopinionandthendotheopposite.Wehaveheardfrommanyangrydivorcedoralmostdivorcedcouplesthatthisisthegreatestindicatorofdisrespect.Ifyouaskwhereyourspousewantstogotodinnerandhe/shesuggestsacoupleofplaces,thenyouselectadifferentone,byyouractionsyousaid,Idonotrespectyouropinionanddontcarewhatyouthink 5.问过你爱人的意见却反其道而行从很多愤怒的离婚的或即要离婚的人们口中我们都有所耳闻这是最大的“不尊重”如果你问你的爱人想去儿吃晚饭她说了几个地方而你却挑了一个别的你是在用行动告诉好：“我不尊重你的意见也不在乎你想” Sincesayingnegativeorhurtfulthingscanbedamagingtoalovingrelationship,itiswisetotakeextracautionbeforeengagin