六级写作指导PPT课件.pptx

Writing 2019 12 27 1 HowToOrganizeAParagraph BeginwithatopicsentenceAtopicsentenceletsthereaderknowwhattheparagraphwillbeaboutTopicsentenceshouldhaveasubject verb andacontrollingidea clearidea Topicsentenceisthemostbroadsentencebecausedetailswillcomelater 2019 12 27 2 HowToOrganizeAParagraph Addsupportingsentences body Supportingsentencesprovidemoreinformationforthereader themoredetails thebettertheparagraphImagineyourtopicasaquestionthatthereaderwillaskHowcanIprovethistrue WhatexamplescanIgive 2019 12 27 3 HowToOrganizeAParagraph EndwithaconcludingsentenceTheconcludingsentencetellswhattheparagraphwasaboutTheconcludingsentencesclosestheparagraphandmakesitcompleteGetsthereaderreadyforthenextparagraph 2019 12 27 4 2019 12 27 5 HowToOrganizeAParagraph Imagineeachparagraphasasandwich Therealcontentofthesandwich themeatorotherfilling isinthemiddle Itincludesalltheevidenceyouneedtomakethepoint Butitgetskindofmessytoeatasandwichwithoutanybread Yourreadersdon tknowwhattodowithalltheevidenceyou vegiventhem 2019 12 27 6 HowToOrganizeAParagraph OriginalparagraphPiranhas 水虎鱼 rarelyfeedonlargeanimals theyeatsmallerfishandaquatic 水生的 plants Whenconfrontedwithhumans piranhas firstinstinctistoflee notattack Theirfearofhumansmakessense Farmorepiranhasareeatenbypeoplethanpeopleareeatenbypiranhas Ifthefisharewell fed theywon tbitehumans 2019 12 27 7 HowToOrganizeAParagraph Revision Althoughmostpeopleconsiderpiranhastobequitedangerous theyare forthemostpart entirelyharmless Piranhasrarelyfeedonlargeanimals theyeatsmallerfishandaquaticplants Whenconfrontedwithhumans piranhas firstinstinctistoflee notattack Theirfearofhumansmakessense Farmorepiranhasareeatenbypeoplethanpeopleareeatenbypiranhas Ifthefisharewell fed theywon tbitehumans 2019 12 27 8 Sampleparagraph1 Auniversityprofessorhasmanyduties Intheclassroom heorshelecturestothestudentsandanswersquestions Iftheprofessorisascienceinstructor heorshealsoconductslaboratoryexperiments Duringofficehours studentsarefreetovisittheprofessortogethelpondifficultmaterialorproblems Inaddition aprofessormayoftenworkformanyhoursinlaboratorydoingaresearchproject Anotherprofessormightspendhisorhertimewritingascholarlypaperforaprofessionaljournal Stillanotheronemightspendtimewritingabook Inconclusion aprofessorisalwaysaverybusyperson 2019 12 27 9 Sampleparagraph2 Lyinginbedcanbedangeroustoyourhealth Oncepeoplebelievedthatstayinginbedwasthebestcureforillnessesorinjuries butdoctorswhohavestudiedtheeffectsofbedrestarerewritingthemedicaltextbooks TheharmfuleffectsofbedrestwerefirstnoticedduringWorldWarII Somefieldhospitalswerenotequippedtogivemuchnursingcaretothewoundedsoldiers Assoonaspossibleaftersurgery thenursesstoppedbathingthemandbringingthemtheirmeals Theresultsweresurprisingthesoldiersgettinglesscarerecoveredsoonerandbetterthanthoseelsewherewhowerepermittedtoremainlyinginbedwithoutstirring 2019 12 27 10 Howtowritetopicsentence 主题是写作的目的 没有主题的文章是毫无意义的 而如何把主题从始至终贯彻好也是需要技巧的 1 什么是主题文章的中心思想 即关于某个话题作者最想要表达出来的观点 就是主题 用一个简洁明了的句子把主题表达清楚 就是我们常说的中心论点句thesisstatement 或主题句 一个好的主题有3个特点 只关注一个中心点或中心事件事件的大小要和文章的长度相当准确地预见文章的内容 甚至包括文章的结构 2019 12 27 11 一个成功的主题句要遵循以下6个标准 具有可辩论性使用主动语态其主语和动词都应该是具体的具有准确的聚焦不仅仅是一个简单的句子对话题具有总体前瞻性主题句必须准确聚焦话题 范围既不能过宽又不能过窄 所谓聚焦包含两个方面 正确聚焦 准确的话题 和范围聚焦 准确的覆盖范围 2019 12 27 12 2 如何写好主题句主题句就像是一个话题介绍人 每一个主题句都要有一个中心思想thecontrollingidea 如 Livingonthecampusisbeneficialtohisstudy Smokingcigarettescanbeanexpensivehabit Smokingcigarettescanbeharmfultoyourhealth 2019 12 27 13 1 主题句不能是一个具体事实 比如 TheboywasbornonJune1 1968 应修改为 ThebirthoftheboyonJune1 1968markedthebeginningofyearsofmiseryforthefamily 例 Studentsoftenridetoschool ManycitizensbegintolearnEnglish EdmondSmithhadafarm IknowMr Charles Idojoggingeverymorning TheWomen sMovementhaschangedtheendingofseveralcompoundwordsfrom manto person AmericanfoodistastelessandgreasybecauseAmericansusetoomanycanned frozenandprepackagedfoodsandbecauseeverythingisfriedinoilorbutter 2019 12 27 14 修正后的主题句 Studentsoftenridetoschoolforvariousreasons ManycitizensfinditusefultolearntospeakEnglish EdmondSmithhadthenoisiestfarminLawrenceCounty Mr CharlesisthemeanestmanIeverknow Dailyjoggingisoneofthebestexerciseswecandoforyourbody TheWomen sMovementhashadseveraleffectsontheEnglishlanguage Americanfoodistastelessandgreasy 2019 12 27 15 2 主题句的中心思想应该清晰明了 并且关注事件的某一个特定细节 比如说 Playingcomputergamesisbad 这样的主题句就太模糊了 应该修改为 Spendingtoomuchtimeplayingcomputergamesisharmfultochildren 2019 12 27 16 请看一个关注不同细节的例子 以篮球运动为例 BasketballwasplayedfirstintheUnitedStates history BasketballisfarlessdangerousthanAmericanfootball difference BasketballispopularintheUnitedStatesforthreereasons cause Playingbasketballisgoodforyourhealth effect Playingbasketballisnotasinterestingasmanypeoplethink personalopinion Ican tforgetthedaywhenIplayedbasketballforthefirsttime personalexperience 2019 12 27 17 3 写主题句时要注意关键词的用法 比如some different several various 等等 这些词的使用会直接影响到作者的中心思想的表达 Mostsuccessfulmovieshaveafewqualitiesincommon Collegegraduatescanlookforajobinseveraldifferentways Societyistryingmanydifferentapproachestodiscouragepeoplefromsmoking 2019 12 27 18 本节提示 英语段落大多数是演绎性的阐述 即以观点开头进行论证说明 而初学英语的中国学生往往按照汉语的思维和表达习惯 先讲道理 原因 最后是结论 主要观点往往放到段落的最后一句 因此 要学会用主题句开始段落写作 2019 12 27 19 Activity1选出不适宜做主题句的句子 并加以修改 使其成为主题句 1 Manydifferentkindsofpart timejobsareavailable 2 Certainguidelineshelpafamilytolivetogetherhappily 3 Bluejeansarepopular 4 StudyingforaCETtestcallsforamethodicalapproach 5 Ayoungpersonneedstolearnhowtobecomeself reliant 6 Parentshavedifferentwaysofgivingtheirchildrenaneducation 7 Moreandmorefamilieskeeppets 2019 12 27 20 8 Mostnewstudentsareshockedatcollegeregistrationprocedures 9 Acollegestudentshouldlearnwritingskills 10 ItisnecessarytoimprovespokenEnglish 11 Peopletrymanywaystokeepfit 12 Apersonneedstohaveahealthyself image 13 Surfingisawatersport 14 Mybrotherenjoyssports 15 Pollutionisaterribleproblem 2019 12 27 21 Activity2用下列主题写出主题句 TripVideogamesModerntechnologyJobinterviewsSelectingamajorTeacherMypersonalityCompetitionAchievementsSmoking 2019 12 27 22 Activity3画出下列各主题句中的主题思想 Studentshavevariousreasonsforchoosingwheretheywanttositinaclassroom Someholidaysaremorefestivethanothers Developingaplanfororganizingalockerisimportant Societyistryingmanydifferentapproachestodiscouragepeoplefromsmoking LasVegasoffersmanywaystogamble 2019 12 27 23 Julianwroteanumberofsuggestionstothestudentnewspaperaboutlow costhousing Someofthesetime honoredcustomsseem old fashioned tomanypeople Theclubisanenvironmentalorganizationthatprovidesmanyvaluableservices Themarriagecounselormentionedtwostrategiesforavoidingargumentsbeforebreakfast Itissurprisingthattherearesofewwomenworkinginprofessionsbecausetherearemanybenefitsinthesejobs 2019 12 27 24 Activity4每个段落后均有几个句子 判断哪个句子最合适做该段的主题句 1 Researchershavefoundthattheydominatetheiryoungerbrothersandsisters havemoreself esteem andappeartobemoreadult oriented Twenty oneoftheoriginaltwenty threeastronautswereeitherfirstbornoronlychildren Overfiftypercentoftheleadersofthegovernmentsandenterprisesarefirstbornchildrenandonlychildren Childrenwhoareborninthemiddletendtobepassive a Firstbornchildrenandonlychildren b Firstbornchildrenandonlychildrenaremoresuccessful c Thesequenceofbirthinfluenceone scharacter 2019 12 27 25 2 Thegreedandpoorplanningofmanhimselfarechieflyresponsible Witheachincreaseinman spopulation thewildernessareaswheretheanimalslivegetsmaller Theuseofpesticidestocontrolinjuriousinsectsalsoharmswildbirdsandanimals Waterpollutionkillsfishinourrivers lakes andoceans Huntershavealmostexterminatedmanyofthelargeanimals Asaresultofthisunrelentingpressureourwildlifeisdisappearingattherateofthespeciesorsubspeciesperyear a Theimbalancebetweenmanandwildlife b Wildlifeisgettingextinct c Thegrowingextinctionofwildlifecanbetracedtomanycauses 2019 12 27 26 Supportthethesiswithspecificevidence Thefirstessentialstepinwritingasuccessfulessayistoformulateaclearlystatedthesis Thesecondbasicstepistosupportthethesiswithspecificreasonsordetails Toensurethatyouressaywillhaveadequatesupport youmayfindaninformaloutlineveryhelpful Writedownabriefversionofyourthesisidea andthenworkoutandjotdownthethreepointsthatwillsupportthethesis 2019 12 27 27 Hereisthescratchoutlinethatwaspreparedbytheauthoroftheearlieressayonmoviegoing Moviegoingisaproblem InconvenienceofgoingoutTemptingsnacksOthermoviegoers 2019 12 27 28 Ascratchoutlinelikethisonelookssimple butdevelopingitoftenrequiresagreatdealofcarefulthinking Thetimespentondevelopingalogicaloutlineininvaluable though Onceyouhaveplannedthestepsthatlogicallysupportyourthesis youwillbeinanexcellentpositiontogoontowriteaneffectiveessay Activitiesinthissectionwillgiveyoupracticeinthecrucialskillofplanninganessayclearly 2019 12 27 29 Activity1 Followingareteninformaloutlines Workingwithapartner completeanyfiveofthembyaddingathirdlogicalsupportingpoint c thatwillparallelthetwoalreadyprovided aandb 2019 12 27 30 1 Thefirstdayonanewjobcanbenerve racking a Meetingnewpeopleb Findingyourwayaroundanewplacec 2 MystepmotherhasthreequalitiesIadmire a Patienceb Thoughtfulnessc 2019 12 27 31 3 Mysummerjobonalandscapingcrewhadseveraladvantages a Learnedhowtofollowdirectionb Greatpeopletoworkforc 4 Collegestudentsshouldliveathome a Stayintouchwithfamilyb Avoiddistractionsofdormorapartmentlifec 2019 12 27 32 5 BussingtablesistheworstjobI veeverhad a Difficultbossb Poorpayc 6 Collegeisstressfulformanypeople a Worryaboutgradesb Worryaboutbeingacceptedc 2019 12 27 33 7 Myhighschoolalgebrateacherwasexcellent a Extrahelpafterclassb Greatpracticehandoutsfortestsc 8 Thecollegelibraryisthebestplacetostudy a Quietandwelllitb Nothingtotemptmeawayfrommybooksc 2019 12 27 34 9 Buyingausedcarisbetterthanbuyinganewone a Usedcarsarelesslikelytobestolenthannewcars b Usedcarsdon tlosetheirvalueasquicklyasmostnewcars c 10 Manycompaniesuseannoyingpracticestoincreasesales a Junkmailb Spame mailc 2019 12 27 35 支持句supportingsentences 支持句是段落中围绕主题句进行具体论证的句子 一般由若干个句子组成 它们是以具体或真实的细节对主题句进行阐述 说明 引申或补充 从而证实中心思想 如两个不同的主题句思想 Smokingisunhealthy 和Smokingisextravagant 就会由两个不同的支持句展开 2019 12 27 36 Smokingisunhealthy Healthexpertshavewarnedusforyearsthatsmokingcanleadtoheartdisease lungcancerandvariousrespiratoryailments TheworldHealthOrganizationsaysdiseaseslinkedtosmokingkillatleast2 500 000peopleeachyear Researchconductedinmanycountriesalsoindicatesthatpregnantwomenwhosmokeruntheriskofhavingdeformedbabies Smokingnotonlyruinsthesmokers health butalsosubjectsthepeoplearoundhimtogreatdiscomfortandevenphysicalharm 2019 12 27 37 Smokingisextravagant Smokers eitherwage earnersorthosewholiveofftheirparents spendalargesumofmoneyoncigarettes whichcostthematleast10 oftheirexpenseseachmonth What smore sensiblewomentrytoavoidmarryingheavysmokers eventhoughtheadvertisementsofasmokinghandsomeyoungmansuggestthatitismanlytosmoke Afriendofmine forexample hasbeenseekinganidealwifewhowilltoleratehisextravaganthobbyofsmoking Butuptonowhehasn tfoundone 2019 12 27 38 从这两个段落中我们可以看到每个段落中的支持句必须具有一致性和发展性两个要求 一致性一致性指一个段落中所有的支持句必须围绕主题句思想展开 每一个句子的内容都应当与主题句思想有关 分析上面几个段落就可以得到证明 除了段首的主题句 支持句的每个句子既是它前面的句子在语义上的继续 又是对主题句的进一步发展 例如 2019 12 27 39 Thelecturesystemultimatelyharmsprofessorsaswell Itreducesfeedbacktoaminimum sothatthelecturercanneitherjudgehowwellstudentsunderstandthematerialnorbenefitfromtheirquestionsorcomments Questionsthatrequirethespeakertoclarifyobscurepointsandcommentsthatchallengeinadequatelyconstructedargumentsareindispensabletoscholarship Withoutthem theliveliestmindbecomesdull Undergraduatesmaynotbeabletomakegoodcontributionsveryoften butbylecturingaloneaprofessorfailstoattractthebeginner sna vequestionthatcouldhavetriggeredafruitfullineofthought 2019 12 27 40 本段共有五个句子 段首主题句提出讲课制度最终也将伤害到教授们 然后其余各句 使反馈量减到最低点 授课者也无法从他们的问题或评论中收益 而问题和评论对于做学问是必不可少的 没有它们 再活跃的头脑也会变得迟钝 如果唱独角戏 教授们便不能吸引初学者提出虽幼稚但能引发出颇有成果的思路或问题 这四个支持句层层递进说明主题句思想 使全段内容有机地构成一体 意思连贯 层次清楚 语意明白 2019 12 27 41 2019 12 27 42 反之 如果作者把另外的话题引入同一个段落 就会破坏一致性 读者也就无法了解作者的本意 例如 Today Americancollegesanduniversitiesareunderstrongattackfrommanyquarters TherearealotofcollegesanduniversitiesintheUnitedStates manyofwhichareveryfamousintheworld Famousscholars particularlythosewhohavewontheNobelPrize workinthecollegesandUniversities Ofcourse Mostofcollegegraduates wholackbothbasicskillsandgeneralculture enterfactoriesandenterprises 2019 12 27 43 组成该段落的四个句子似乎都是有关 美国的大学 这一话题 但表达了四种互不相关的意思 美国大学受到许多方面的批评 美国有许多一流大学 著名学者在大学里工作 大学毕业生进入工厂 企业工作 但没有基本技能 这一段落内容松散凌乱 没有主题思想 句子之间缺乏内在联系 毫无一致性可言 更多情况下 作者在段落写作过程中有时会偏离主题 因此 对于那些与主题思想无关的句子 必须删去 例如 2019 12 27 44 Thegreatestadvantageofborrowingabookfromsomeoneelseisthatyouhavetoreadit Thebooksyouborrowcanbeverygoodandvarious Andtheymaybethebooksyouliketobuybutyoufailtoget Theborrowedbookisnotyoursandcan tbekeptaslongasyoulike thefactaloneremindsyouconstantlythatyoumustreaditbeforeitisdue Youareunderthepressurewhichyouwon texperienceifthebookisboughtanditbecomesyourpossession Thepressurepushesyoutoovercomelazinessandreadmore 2019 12 27 45 本段第一句是主题句 借书最大的好处是能够促使你去读 第二 三句虽然也是借书的好处 但是和主题句没有直接关系 相比之下 第四 五和六句就有效地发展了主题句 因此 该段中的第二 三句偏离了主题 破坏了段落内容的一致性 应该删去 才能使整个段落主题突出 成为一个整体 再看一个例子 支持句之间也缺乏一致性 2019 12 27 46 Sometelevisionprogramsareveryeducational SesameStreet forexample usesclevervisualimagestoteachyoungchildrenhowtocountandworkwithalphabet Thisshowalsoactsasanexcellentbabysitter allowingparentstohavesometimeforthemselves Aroundtheworld takescurioustravellerstomostmysterioussightsonearth whiletheguidenarratestherichhistorybehindthem Anotherhighlyeducationalprogramis Nova whichhasalreadydealtwithawildvarietyoftopicssuchasunderseaexploration theartificialheart andgeneticengineering whichishighlycontroversialbecausesomepeoplecomplainthatwehumanshouldnotbetemperingwithnature Inshort educationalprogramslikethesecanmakewatchingTVaworthwhileexperienceforpeopleofallages 2019 12 27 47 Sometelevisionprogramsareveryeducational SesameStreet forexample usesclevervisualimagestoteachyoungchildrenhowcountandworkwithalphabet Childrenaretaughtinvarietyofwayswhichkeeptheminterested Aroundtheworld takescurioustravellerstomostmysterioussightsonearth whiletheguidenarratestherichhistorybehindthem Ahighlyeducationalprogram Nova formatureadultshasalreadydealtwithawidevarietyoftopicssuchasunderseaexploration theartificialheart andgeneticengineering Itacquaintspeoplewiththelatestdevelopmentinscienceandwidenstheirvision Inshort educationalprogramslikethesecanmakewatchingTVaworthwhileexperienceforpeopleofallages 2019 12 27 48 由此可见 在段落写作的过程中 要时时想到主题思想 保证段落内的每一句支持句斗必须对发挥段落的唯一主题起到作用 切忌 信笔漫游 想到什么就写什么 以免破坏支持句之间的一致性 本节提示 支持句既要和主题句有关 又要有条理地从几个层次或角度给主题句加以阐述 初学者的中国学生没有这样的意识 或不知不觉将 无轨电车 开了出去 或像 大杂烩 一样描述支持句 2019 12 27 49 Activity2 指出下列段落中违反一致性原则的句子 2019 12 27 50 1 Oneofthereasonsthatstudentscheatisthattheyfindittooeasytogetawaywithit Studentsdoknowthatiftheyarecaughtcheatingtheywillprobablyfailthecourse butforsomereasons maybeforhighscoresorjustpassingtheexam theytakeariskintheexam Manystudentshaveevernoticedotherscheatingintheexam andnoonedoesanythingtostopit thenthecheatingstudentgetsaway Thismakescheatingeasier andthestudentwhohascheatedbutnotbecaughtwillbecomemorefearless Andalthoughthepunishmentforcheatingissevere teachersaretolerantandtheysometimesignoresuspectedcheating 2019 12 27 51 2 PayinglittleattentiontolearningChineseistheproblemofEnglishmajors TheythinkthatChineseisofnoimportancetothemastheymajorinEnglish TeachershavefoundthatthestudentsofEnglishcannoteventranslateEnglishsentencesintoproperChinese Instead theyareratherskilledintranslatingChinesesentenceintodecentEnglish SomostEnglishmajorscannottakeupthejobofaninterpreter EventhoughtheyareclearaboutwhatanativeEnglishspeakersays theycannotexpresstheminChinesefreely Andmoreover thestudentsdon tknowhowtofurthertheirstudiesbycomparisonsandcontrastsbetweenthetwolanguages PayingmoreattentiontolearningChineseisthewayoutfortheEnglishmajors 2019 12 27 52 发展性支持句之间还需要有发展性 支持句要通过不同的角度 不同的层次 充分发展段落主题思想 而不是围绕着主题只是简单的重复 比较以下两个段落 Foralargenumberofpeople theabsenceofworkisharmfultotheirhealth 2019 12 27 53 A Foralargenumberofpeople theabsenceofworkisharmfultotheirhealth Obviouslyifyouhavenothingtodo yourhealthwillbeaffected Workisonewaytokeepyourhealthy Ifyoudon twork itwilldoharmtoyourhealth Justimagine youstayathomeallday doingnothingyourhealthwillbedeclining Withoutwork withoutgoodhealth Sodoingnothingwillbeharmfultoone shealth 2019 12 27 54 B Foralargenumbersofpeople theabsenceofworkisharmfultotheirhealth Retirementoftenbringsmanyproblemssurroundingthe WhatdoIdowithmyselftoday question eventhoughtheremaybenofinancialcares Largenumbersofpeopleregularlygetheadachesandotherillnessesonweekendswhentheydon thavetheirjobstogoto andmustfend 照料 forthemselves Ithasbeenobservedthatunemployment quiteasidefromexertingfinancialpressures bringsenormouspsychologicaltroublesandthatmanyindividualsdeteriorate 恶化 rapidlywhenjobless 2019 12 27 55 前一段是让学生按课文主题句续写的练习作文 我们可以看到段落中的句子也都和主题句有关 统一性没有问题 但是 每一句不过是对主题句思想的简单重复 翻来覆去就是这个意思 没有发展 也没有展开讨论 空洞无物 而后一段几个支持句不仅和主题句思想紧密关联 而且从三个不同角度来说明 1 工人退休后身体如何垮了 2 休息在家又如何得病 3 失业了会产生精神疾病 没有一句意思重复 这样的段落就是well developedparagraph 2019 12 27 56 再比较 Therestaurantoftheuniversityisoneofthemostovercrowdedplacesoncampus Thelackofspaceisapparent Itdoesnothaveenoughroomforthestudents Thebuildingissmall uglyanddirtyandmakesthestudentsloseappetite Itfailstocreateafriendlyatmosphereanddoesnotmeetthebasicrequirementsofapropereatingplace 2019 12 27 57 Therestaurantoftheuniversityisoneofthemostoverworkedplacesoncampus Theservicelineisfrequentlysolongthatastudentgivesuptheideaofeatingaltogether Ifsheispatientenoughtowaitforfood sheisluckyifshecanfindaplacetoeat Ifsheisparticularlyagile shemayworkherthroughthemassestoaspotwhereshecaneat Onceseated however sheislikelytofindtheatmospheresochokedwithotherbodies noise anddeadair thatshelosesherappetite Shecannoteasilyslipawayatthatpoint either Wedging 挤 herwayoutoftherestaurant shediscovers isasmiserableamatterasworkingherwayin 2019 12 27 58 前一段的支持句没有展开 作者以拥挤 丑陋和肮脏 不友好的气氛来形容校园的餐厅 但只是一笔带过 而且没有直接说明拥挤 因此只给人以肤浅而笼统的印象 而第二段显然更具体充分地发展了主题 支持句层层递进 全方位多角度展现了Therestaurantoftheuniversityisoneofthemostovercrowdedplacesoncampus 这一主题思想 首先是要排长长的队伍 然后要找座位吃饭 即使找到作为 夹杂着各种气味的空气令人大倒胃口 最后挤