英语搞笑短剧剧本.doc

.三打白骨精Three Times Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,boss (凑近T)（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, dont bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)Ill keep it for you until we reach the westE: ButT: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I cant walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesnt allow So. S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will.S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Dont forget who ate my last meal!J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away.T: Em.It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is.?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from bosss books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: EmWukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Lets play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐斗地主B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?J: Im sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh.I win! Em,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)AhT: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please dontT:Its too late!(唱)Once moreyou open the door(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,Im disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, Ill teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?.(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, Ill beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two.(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh.,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!(哭喊)S: Ill kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）人鬼情未了J: boss, brother Monkey is.T: Dont mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are.B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)Ill enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha.S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I cant understand.What happened?S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).Monkeys intuition