落花生翻译比较与赏析.doc

落花生翻译比较与赏析苏慧敏2004020337 商英学院 04英语（国际贸易）3班前言：这是一篇比较赏析，为了阅读的方便，我将其按照原文的顺序分析。因为篇幅的关系，我只选了前面几段赏析。下文中画线表示译的好的部分，数字表示建议改进的地方。翻译原文：落花生 许地山 我们屋后有半亩隙地。母亲说：“让它荒芜着怪可惜，既然称们那么爱吃花生，就辟来做花生园罢。”我们几姊弟和几个小丫头都很喜欢买种的买种，动土的动土，灌园的灌园；过不了几个月，居然收获了! 妈妈说：“今晚我们可以做一个收获节，也请你们爹爹来尝尝我们的新花生，如何?”我们都答应了。母亲把花生做成好几样食品，还吩咐这节期要在园里的茅亭举行。 那晚上的天色不大好，可是爹爹也到来，实在很难得!爹爹说：“你们爱吃花生么?” 我们都争着答应：“爱!” “谁能把花生的好处说出来?”。 姊姊说：“花生的气味很美。” 哥哥说：“花生可以制油。” 我说：“无论何等人都可以用贱价买它来吃；都喜欢吃它。这就是它的好处。” 爹爹说：“花生的用处固然很多；但有一样是很可贵的。这小小的豆不像那好看的苹果、桃子、石榴，把它们的果实悬在枝上，鲜红嫩绿的颜色，令人一望而发生羡慕的心。它只把果子埋在地的，等到成熟，才容人把它挖出来。你们偶然看见一棵花生瑟缩地长在地上，不能立刻辨出它有没有果实，非得等到你接触它才能知道。” 我们都说：“是的。”母亲也点点头。爹爹接下去说：“所以你们要像花生，因为它是有用的，不是伟大、好看的东西。”我说：“那么，人要做有用的人，不要做伟大、体面的人了。”爹爹说：“这是我对于你们的希望。” 我们谈到夜阑才散，所有花生食品虽然没有了，然而父亲的话现在还印在我心版上。本文是（1892-1941）的一篇久为流传的散文。作者回忆自己童年时代的一个小小片段，以朴实无华、清新自然的笔调，从花生的平凡而有用，谈到做人的道理，富于哲理，反映他身处旧社会的污泥浊流而洁身自好、不慕虚名的思想境界。标题：落花生 刘士聪先生(下称”刘”)译：The Peanut 张培基先生(下称”张”)译: Peanuts分析：The Peanut 让人联想到花生的种类。例如：the rich或者 the poor 从整体来看，文章主要是赞扬花生这一物种的优良品格，所以The Peanut比Peanuts要好。选段一：我们屋后有半亩隙地。母亲说：“让它荒芜着怪可惜，既然称们那么爱吃花生，就1辟来做花生园罢。”我们几姊弟和几个小丫头都很喜欢买种的买种，动土的动土，灌园的灌园；过不了几个月，居然收获了! 刘译：At the back of our house there was half a mu of vacant land. Its a pity to let it go to waste like that, Mother said. Since you all enjoy eating peanuts,1 let us open it up and make it a peanut garden.” At that my brother, sister and I were all delighted and so were the young housemaids. Some went to buy seeds, some dug the ground and others watered it and, in a couple of months, we had a harvest! 张译：Behind our house there lay half a mu of vacant land. Mother said, “Its a pity to let it lie waste. Since you all like to eat peanuts so much, why not 1 have them planted here.” That exhilarated us children and our servant girls as well, and soon we started buying seeds, ploughing the land and watering the plants. We gathered in a good harvest just after a couple of months!分析： “屋后”从逻辑上讲应该是房子的”后面”Behind，而不是房间的”后部”At the back of。“有一亩空地”用lay比用was更具动感。另外，文中妈妈说的话很长，刘译中把Mother said放在句中作为插入语，使句子的结构更加平衡也更符合英文的行文特点。“爱吃花生”应该表达的是一种习惯，而like to eat一般表示某次心血来潮的想法。因此， enjoy eating比like to eat要好。在翻译“我们姐弟几个”时 my brother, sister and I显得比较冗长，而us children则简洁精练。但张译文后面的servant girls让人费解，小丫头未必就是丫环，可能是其他的小女孩。us children已经可以对上文概括，建议删去servant girls。中文喜用排比，或者“有的有的”句式，用some some others 显然比 we 更加准确。翻译本段最后一句时，刘的译文使用we had a harves既简练又把“居然收获”的惊喜表达出来了。然而，就“开辟出来种花生吧”一句，两种译文似乎都不尽完美。刘译let us open it up and make it a peanut garden.首先open sth up 是“打开、开发”的意思，一般意义比较抽象。比如“改革开放政策”reform and open up policy 指“开辟空地”显然欠妥当。另外garden虽然有花园菜园的意思。可是a peanut garden显得比较艰涩难懂。用peanut plot似乎更好一些，另外，张译have hem planted here.又显得过于简单。因此从上下文来看，母亲应该是想很好的利用这块地来种花生。建议改成why not make full use of it and plant some peanuts?选段二：妈妈说：“今晚我们可以做一个收获节，也请你们爹爹来尝尝我们的新花生，如何?”我们都答应了。母亲把花生做成好几样食品，还吩咐这节期要在园里的茅亭举行。 那晚上的天色不大好，可是爹爹也到来，实在很难得!刘译：Let us have a party tonight to celebrate, Mother suggested, and ask Dad to come for a taste of our fresh peanuts. What do you say? We all agreed, of course. Mother cooked the peanuts in different styles and told us to go to the thatched pavilion in the garden for the celebration. The weather was not very good that night but, to our great delight, Dad came all the same.张译：Mother said, “How about giving a party this evening to celebrate the harvest and invite your Daddy to have a taste of our newly-harvested peanuts?” We all agreed. Mother made quite a few varieties of goodies out of the peanuts, and told us that the party would be held in the thatched pavilion on the peanut plot. It looked like rain that evening, yet, to our great joy, Father came nevertheless.分析：在母亲说要做收获节的时候，张的译文用了How about 和invite 显得母亲说话比较温和。而刘用了Let us，ask，What do you say，虽然刘译符合原文不增不减，但却显得母亲专横和语气生硬，没有了慈爱的意味。在表示“新”花生时，刘译用了fresh虽然没有错，可是不如张译newly-harvested地道。表达“母亲把花生做成好几样食品”刘转译成“用不同的方法做花生”cooked the peanuts in different styles不如made quite a few varieties of goodies贴切，另外goodies指“好吃的东西”，常用于口语也复合整篇文章的风格。如上一段赏析提到的，表示花生园，用peanut plot比garden要好。翻译最后一句“可是爹爹也到来，实在很难得!”张译用了joy father nevertheless喜悦的心情不如刘译delight dad all the same强烈。选段三：爹爹说：“你们爱吃花生么?” 我们都争着答应：“爱!” “谁能把花生的好处说出来?”。 姊姊说：“花生的气味很美。” 哥哥说：“花生可以制油。” 我说：“无论何等人都可以用贱价买它来吃；都喜欢吃它。这就是它的好处。” 刘译：Do you like peanuts? Dad asked. Yes! we all answered eagerly. But who can tell me what the peanut is good for? It is very delicious to eat, my sister took the lead. It is good for making cooking oil,” my brother followed. It is inexpensive. I said. Almost everyone can afford it and everyone enjoys eating it. I think this is what it is good for. 张译：“Do you like peanuts?” asked Father. “Yes, we do!” We vied in giving the answer.“Which of you could name the good things in peanuts?” “Peanuts taste good,” said my elder sister.“Peanuts produce edible oil,” said my elder brother. “Peanuts are so cheap,” said I, “that anyone can afford to eat them. Peanuts are everyones favorite. Thats why we call peanuts good.”分析：首先，这是一段父亲和孩子们之间的对话，翻译时应做到动活泼。“争着答应”用vied in giving the answer更加有动感。“把花生的好处说出来”用name the good也显然比直接翻译成what the peanut is good for更加灵活流畅。当翻译“气味很美”时两位大师都活译成更加通俗的“好吃” 但aste good比delicious to eat更加地道。另外，在翻译“姊姊说”“哥哥说”时刘译按照逻辑对顺序进行了增译took the lead followed是其文的一大亮点。在翻译“我”的话时，两者都不议而同地先增译了“花生很便宜”刘译：It is inexpensive 张译：Peanuts are so cheap,用inexpensive和cheap似乎都没错，可是通过查阅字典我发现Inexpensive：(adj.) low priced; not expensive 主要表示“廉价的,不贵的”。而Cheap: (adj.) low in price;worth more than the cost offering good value则有更多意思“廉价的,实惠的，价钱好的”从上下文来看张译的cheap更胜一筹。表示花生人人吃得起，刘译afford it比张译afford to eat them更加简洁。最后表示“这就是它的好处” 刘的译文中Thats why we call peanuts good更注意人物语言的口语化。参考资料：Longman Advanced American English, foreign language teaching an