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Lesson One Courtesy: Key to a Happier World礼貌:一个更加愉快的世界的秘诀Dr. Norman Vincent PealeLearning Guide 人生活在群体之中,为了解决自己的衣食住行,处处都要与他人打交道。即使是在英国人称之为“自己的城堡”的家里,人们也必须和睦相处,才能相安无事。风烟四起,舌战连绵,轻者使团体和家庭面和心不和,重者会导致团体瓦解,家庭破裂。处理好人际关系的秘诀是什么?本文作者在多年心理咨询工作中得出结论:以礼待人。他认为,不可小看如何对待他人一事,礼貌不仅仅是个人举止问题,而且也反映一个人的人生观。他还提出了一些化解矛盾和冲突的具体建议,你不妨试试。 1 Many years ago trying to help people with every kind of trouble left me with one sure conviction: in case after case the difficulty could have been overcome or might never have arisen if the people involved had just treated one another with common courtesy. 多年以前,帮助人们解决各种各样的问题的过程使我深信:在一个个事例中,如人们相互以礼相待,问题完全可能会得到解决,或许根本不会出现。 Many years ago trying to help people with every kind of trouble left me with one sure conviction. 多年以前,帮助人们解决各种各样问题的过程使我深信. Trying to help people with every kind of trouble caused me to believe one thing firmly2 Courtesy, politeness, good manners call it what you will, the supply never seems to equal the demand. 礼貌也好,客气,或文明举止也好,无论你如何称呼它,其供应似乎总是小于需求。 Its not so much what my husband says, a tearful wife confides, as the way he says it. Why does he have to yell at me?一位泪流满面的妻子向我吐露说,“使我伤心的倒不是我丈夫说的那些话,而是他说话时的态度,他凭什么要对我大声嚷嚷? I hate my boss, a grim-faced office worker mutters. He never shows appreciation for anything. “我讨厌我的上司。”一位面色铁青的职员嘟哝说:“不管干什么,就没有听到他一句赞扬的话。” All we get from our teenagers, a worried parent says, is a moody sullenness. 一对忧虑的父母说:“青少年给我们的印象,都是闷闷不乐,情绪消沉。” Courtesy, politeness, good manners call it what you will, the supply never seems to equal the demand.礼貌也好,客气,或文明举止也好,无论你称它什么,其供应似乎总是小于需求。 Whether you call it courtesy, or politeness, or good manner, peoples need for it always far greater than they show. (people practice less courtesy than they should.) Its not so much what my husband says,“a tearful wife confides,”as the way he says it.一位泪流满面的妻子向我透露说,“(使我伤心的)倒不是我丈夫说的那些话,而是他说话时的态度. A wife in tears told me ,“What made me so sad was not what he said, but the rude way he said it” 3 Such complaints are not limited to people who sit in my study. Human beings everywhere hunger for courtesy. Good manners,said Ralph Waldo Emerson, are the happy way of doing things. And the reverse is equally true. Bad manners can ruin a day or wreck a friendship. 这种抱怨不仅是那些坐到我的书房里同我谈心的人才有。世界上的人们都渴望受到礼遇。爱默生说:“礼貌是愉快行事的方式。”反之一样,不文明的举止可以破坏一天的心境,或许还会毁掉友情。 “Good manners,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson,“are the happy way of doing things.”爱默生说:“礼貌是愉快行事的方式。” Good manners are the suitable/ appropriate way of doing things And the reverse is equally true. Bad manners can ruin a day-or wreck a friendship.反之一样(不讲礼貌是不愉快地办事),不文明的举止可以破环一天的心境,或许还会毁掉友情。 Bad manners bring about entirely different results. (Bad manners are the unhappy way of doing things.) You will feel unhappy if you are treated impolitely. Bad manner can ruin a friendship. 4 What are the basic ingredients of good manners? Certainly a strong sense of justice is one; courtesy is often nothing more than a highly developed sense of fair play. 礼貌的基本要素是什么呢?强烈的公正意识当然是一个要素,文明举止往往只不过是高层次的公平意识。A friend once told me of driving along a one-lane, unpaved mountain road. Ahead was another car that produced clouds of choking dust, and it was a long way to the nearest paved highway.一个朋友告诉我,他曾行驶在一条单行的、未铺砌的山路上;在他的前面,有一辆车掀起了呛人的尘土,他们离最近的柏油路也还有不短的距离。 Suddenly, at a wider place, the car ahead pulled off the road. Thinking that its owner might have engine trouble, my friend stopped and asked if anything was wrong. No,突然,在宽一点的地方,前头的车开到了一旁。我的朋友以为车主的发动机可能出了毛病,就把车停了下来,问他是不是车出了问题。“没事儿,” said the other driver. But youve endured my dust this far; Ill put up with yours the rest of the way. There was a man with manners, and an innate sense of fair play. 那位司机说,“你跟在后面吃尘土已经这么久了,剩下的路还是让我跟在你后面吃尘土吧。”这真是一位有礼貌的人,一位天生有着公道意识的人。 .courtesy is often nothing more than a highly developed sense of fair play.文明举止往往只不过是高层次的公平意识。 nothing more than:只不过是.,不是别的而是. Courtesy is not something beyond us. It is just a highly developed sense of fair play. .Ill put up with yours the rest of the way.The rest of the way Ill endure the dust caused by your car. There was a man with manners, and an innate sense of fair play.这真是一位有礼貌的人,一位天生有着公道意识的人。 There was a.:这里用来表示赞许。 What a courteous man! He had good manner and, by nature, he was a man with a sense of fair play. 5 Another ingredient of courtesy is empathy, a quality that enables a person to see into the mind or heart of someone else, to understand the pain or unhappiness there and to do something to minimize it.礼貌的另一个要素是能够理解别人的心情,这一品质能使人深入他人的思想和内心世界,理解他们感情深处的痛苦或是不幸,并尽力使之减缓。 Recently in a book about a famous restaurant chain I came across such an episode. 最近,我在一本介绍一家著名连锁店的书里偶然看到这样一件事。 .to see into the mind or heart of someone else, to understand the pain or unhappiness there to do something to minimize it.深入他人的思想和内心世界,理解他们感情深处的痛苦或是不幸并尽力使之减缓。 .to understand the innermost feeling of another person-what he is thinking or feeling deep down in other words, the pain or unhappiness he keeps to himself and to help him the best way you can. 6 A man dining alone was trying to unscrew the cap of a bottle of catsup but his fingers were so badly crippled by arthritis that he couldnt do it. 一位独自进餐的顾客试图打开一瓶调味番茄酱的瓶盖,但他的手指因关节炎而留下严重残疾,拧不开瓶盖。He asked a young busboy to help him. The boy took the bottle, turned his back momentarily and loosened the cap without difficulty. Then he tightened it again. 他请一位服务员帮助他。这位服务员拿起瓶子,即刻转过身,毫不费力的拧开了瓶盖。他接着又将其旋紧。Turning back to the man, he feigned a great effort to open the bottle without success. Finally he took it into the kitchen and returned shortly, saying that he had managed to loosen it but only with a pair of pliers. 他转过身来对着那个,假装使出很大劲还是没有拧开瓶盖。最后他把那瓶番茄酱拿到厨房,不一会就回来了,说他用了一把钳子才拧开了瓶盖。What impelled the boy to take so much trouble to spare the feelings of a stranger? Courtesy, compassionate courtesy. 是什么促使这个年青人不厌其烦地这么做?是礼貌,是基于同情心的礼貌。 .he feigned a great effort to open the bottle without success.假装使出大劲儿还是没有拧开瓶盖。 He pretended that he had to use a great effort to open the bottle, but he failed. What impelled the boy to take so much trouble to spare the feelings of a stranger? Courtesy, compassionate courtesy.是什么促使这个年轻人不厌其烦地这么做?是礼貌,基于同情心的礼貌。 Why did the boy take a lot of trouble so that a stranger wouldnt feel embarrassed? 7 Yet another component of politeness is the capacity to treat all people alike, regardless of all status or importance. 礼貌的另一个要素,是能够不管人们的社会地位的高低或是其作用的大小,对所有的人都一视同仁。Even when you have doubts about some people, act as if they are worthy of your best manners. You may also be astonished to find out that they really are. 即使对有些人你不太清楚他们是否值得你礼遇,也要以礼相待,就象他们值得你这样对待他们一样。你很可能会惊奇地发现,他们确实值得你以礼相待。 the capacity to treat all people alike regardless of all status or importance.能够不管人们的社会地位的高低或是其作用的大小,对所有的人都一视同仁。regardless of :不顾 the capacity to treat all people equally whether they are socially important people or just ordinary citizens. Even when you have doubts about some people, act as if they are worthy of your best manners.即使对有些人你不太有把握(他们是否值得你礼遇),也要以礼相待,就像他们值得你这样对待他们一样。 Even when you are not sure whether some people deserve your good manners, treat them as if they do. 8 I truly believe that anyone can improve his or her manners by doing three things. First, by practicing courtesy.我深信,任何人都可能通过做三件事来改进举止。 All skills require constant repetition to become second nature; good manners are no exception. 第一,训练有礼貌的行为。一切技能都需要经常重复而后才能成为第二天性,礼貌也是如此。 All skills require constant repetition to become second nature ; good manners are no exception.一切技能都需要经常重复而后才能成为第二天性,礼貌也是如此。 to become second nature:在句中是目的状语。 second nature:第二天性、习性 If you want to acquire a skill, you have to practice it again and again. It is the same with good manners, which you wont acquire unless you practice them constantly. 9 One simple way is to concentrate on your performance in a specific area for about a week. 一个简便的方法,就是在一个星期左右的时间内,集中改进你在某一方面的具体表现。Telephone manner, for example. How often do you talk too long, speak abruptly, fail to identify yourself, keep people waiting, display impatience with the operator or fail to return a call? 比如你可以先集中改进打电话的举止。你是否常常说得太多,突然开始说话,不自报你是何人,让对方久等,对接线员表示不耐烦的情绪,不回电话,等等。Or driving a car, why not watch yourself sternly for aggressive driving, unnecessary horn-blowing, following too closely, failing to yield the right-of-the-way? 或是改进开车的举止,你可以严格监视自己是否开起车来很霸道,是否过多地按喇叭,是否尾随太近,是否不按规矩先让其他车辆通过等等。 .to concentrate on your performance in a specific area for about a week. 在一个星期左右的时间内,集中改进你在某一方面的具体表现。 It is no good trying to improve your manner in an all-round way. You can begin by guarding against one bad type of manner for about a week. 10 One difficult but essential thing to remember is to refuse to let other peoples bad manners goad you into retaliating in kind. 有一件不容易做到而又很重要的事情,就是对别人无礼貌的举止不要以牙还牙。I recall a story told by a young man who was in a car with his father one night when a driver in an oncoming vehicle failed to dim his lights.Give him the brights, Dad! the young man urged in exasperation.我记得有位青年讲了这样一件事:一天夜里他和他父亲在开车行路时,前面驶来一辆大开着前灯的车。“爸,对他开大灯!”那个青年愤怒地催促他的父亲。Son, replied the father, that driver is certainly discourteous and probably stupid. But if I give him the brights hell be discourteous, stupid and blind and thats a combination I dont want to tangle with! 他父亲答道:“那位司机当然是没礼貌,或许是愚蠢。如果我开大灯,他就不仅仅是不礼貌和愚蠢了,而且还看不见前方。三样加在一起,我不愿招惹。”.to refuse to let other peoples bad manners goad you into retaliating in kind.对别人无礼貌的举止不要以牙还牙。 if other people are impolite, dont treat them in the same way. but hell be discourteous, stupid and blind-and thats a combination I dont want to tangle with.他就不仅仅是不礼貌和愚蠢了,而且还看不见前方。三样加在一起,我不愿意招惹。 .he will not only remain discourteous and stupid, but also unable to see clearly the road ahead of him. I dont want my bad manners to cause an accident. 11 The second requirement for improving your manners is to think in a courteous way. In the long run, the kind of person you are is the result of what youve been thinking over the past twenty or thirty years. 改进你的举止的第二个要求是要以礼貌的方式思考问题。从长远的观点看,你的人品是你以往20年或30年的思想发展的结果。If your thoughts are predominantly self-directed, a discourteous person is what you will be. If on the other hand you train yourself to be considerate of others, if you can acquire the habit of identifying with their problems and hopes and fears, good manners will follow almost automatically. 如果你的主导思想是从个人出发的,那你就会是一个不讲礼貌的人。反之,如果你培养自己为他人着想,如果你已经惯于理解并体谅他人的问题、愿望和忧虑,你就会自然而然地以礼待人。 In the long run, the kind of person you are is the result of what youve been thinking over the past twenty or thirty years.从长远的观点看,你的人品是你以往20年或30年的思想发展的结果Your way of thinking determines what kind of person you are. If you are a self-centered person, you will surely be discourteous. On the other hand, if you think of other peoples needs and feelings, you will be a considerate and courteous person. 12 Nowhere is thinking courtesy more important than in marriage. In the intimacy of the home it is easy to displace disappointment or frustration or anger onto the nearest person, and that person is often a husband or wife. 理性的礼貌在婚姻中比在其他任何方面都更加重要。在家庭这个亲昵的环境中,人们很容易把失意、沮丧或气愤向最亲近的人发泄,此人往往不是丈夫就是妻子。 Nowhere is thinking courteous more important than in marriage. 理性的礼貌在婚姻中比在其他任何方面都更为重要。 此句是倒装句表示强调,正常的语序是Thinking courtesy is more important than in marriage than anywhere else. Conscious courtesy is more important in marriage than anywhere else.In marriage relationship, the most important thing is to be courteous to your husband or wife. In the intimacy of the home it is easy to displace disappointment or frustration or anger onto the nearest person, and that person is often a husband or wife.在家庭这个亲昵地环境中,(人们)很容易把失意、沮丧或气愤向最亲近的人发泄,此人往往不是丈夫就是妻子。When you are disappointed or frustrated or angry, you are likely to take it out on your husband or wife because home is the place where you think you dont have to suppress emotions. 13 When you feel your anger getting out of control, I have often said to married couples, force yourself for the next ten minutes to treat your married partner as if he or she were a guest in your home. 我经常对已婚夫妇说:“当你感到忍不住要发火时,你要强迫自己在十分钟之内,把你的妻子或是丈夫看成是来你家里进行访问的客人。I knew that if they could impose just ten minutes of good manners on themselves, the worst of the storm would blow over. 我知道要是他们能克制自己,坚持十分钟的礼貌,火气大体上就会平息了。 I knew that if they could impose just ten minutes of good manners on themselves, the worst of the storm would blow over.我知道要是他们能够克制自己,坚持十分的礼貌,火气大体上就会平If they force themselves to behave politely for ten minutes, both the husband and wife would calm down, and no big quarrel would take place. 14 Finally, to have good manners you must be able to accept courtesy, receive it gladly, rejoice when it comes your way. Strangely, some people are suspicious of gracious treatment. They suspect the other person of having some ulterior motive. 最后一条,礼貌还包括能够接受他人对你的文明举止,受到礼遇要高高兴兴,当它不期而至时要以喜悦表示欢迎。奇怪的是,有些对别人的善待怀有疑心,他们怀疑别人有什么不可告人的动机。 .you must be able to accept courtesy, receive it gladly, rejoice when it comes your way . You should be happy when you are treated politely. Do not bother to wonder why other people are so courteous to you. 15 But some of the most precious gifts in life come with no strings attached. You cant achieve a beautiful day through any effort on your part. You cant buy a sunset or even the scent of a rose. 可是生活中有些最宝贵的赠品却是不带有任何附加条件的。好天气不是通过你的努力而得到的,夕阳西下的景色,甚至玫瑰的香味都是你用钱买不到的。Those are the worlds courtesies to us, offered with love and without thought of reward or return. Good manners are, or should be, like that. 这些都是大自然对我们的恩惠,以爱心赠给我们,毫不考虑是否会有奖赏或回报。礼貌也是如此,或者说应该如此。 But some of the most precious gift in life come with no strings attached可是生活中的有些最宝贵的赠品却是不带有任何附加条件的。 But some of the precious things we enjoy in life such as a beautiful day, a sunset, or be pleasant smell of a rose are gifts from nature, offered to every one of us unconditionally. Those are the worlds courtesies to us, offered with love and without thought of reward of return.这些都是大自然对我们的恩惠,以爱心赠给我们,毫不考虑是否会有奖赏或回报。 These things are generously given by Nature. She gives them away with love, expecting nothing in return. Good manner are, or should be like that.礼貌也是如此,或者说应该如此。 Good manners should also be offered without thought of reward or return.16 In the end, it all comes down to how you regard people not just people in general, but individuals. 最后,礼貌的实质,是你如何看待人这样一个简单的问题,不仅仅是一般而论,而是如何对待具体的人。Life is full of minor irritations and trials and injustices. The only constant, daily, effective solution is politeness which is the golden rule in action. 不公正的事情。唯一能经常、每天使用的有效的解决办法就是以礼待人这个行为准生活充满了小小的烦恼、磨难和则。I think that if I were allowed to add one small beatitude as a footnote to the other it might be: Blessed are the courteous. (1,084 words) 我想,要是允许我在圣经八福词中,作为补充说明再加上一小福的话,那就是“礼貌者有福。” In the end, it all come down to how you regard people最终,礼貌的实质是你如何看待人这样一个简单的问题,不仅仅是一般而论,而是如何对待具体的人。 Finally, it can be summed up as a simple matter of your attitudes towards people The only constant, daily, effective solution is politeness-which is the golden rule in action. 惟一能经常、每天使用的有效的解决办法是以礼待人这个行为规范。 Politeness is the only effective behaviour we can show readily day after day. This is an important principle to follow so that we shall succeed in what were doing. Lesson Two The Man Who Could Work Miracles (I)创造奇迹的人(I)H. G. WellsLearning Guide 一个青年本来不相信有违反自然规律的所谓奇迹,却偶然发现自己能以意志力来创造奇迹。开始他对此困惑不解,甚至有些害怕。反复的试验证实他确实有这种本领,愉悦的情绪油然而生。这一特异功能实在太有用了,既能为他的早餐增加一个新鲜的鹅蛋,又能使他在10分钟之内完成全天的工作,还能把自己讨厌的人一下子贬到阴曹地府。不过这种非凡的天赋对自己、对他人究竟是福还是祸,此刻下结论还为时过早,要等到第3课才能见分晓。 1 Until he was thirty years old, Fotheringay did not believe in miracles. It was while he was asserting the impossibility of miracles that he discovered his extraordinary powers.直到30岁,佛泽林盖也不相信“奇迹”。正是在他斩钉截铁地说奇迹不可能发生的时候,他发现了自己的特异功能。 He was having a drink in a bar. Toddy Beamish opposed everything he said by a monotonous but effective So you say, and drove him to the limit of his patience. 他当时正在一家酒吧喝酒。无论他说什么,托德比米什都说同一句单调却又很起作用的话加以反对:“这可是你说的。”Angry with Mr. Beamish, Mr. Fotheringay determined to make an unusual effort. 这真使他忍无可忍。由于对比米什先生十分生气,佛泽林盖先生决定别出心裁,一定要使对方服输。It was asserting the impossibility of miracles that he discovered his extraordinary powers.这是在他斩钉截铁地说奇迹不可能发生的时候,他发现了自己的特异功能。 was saying /stating clearly and forcefully that there were no such things as miracles. Toddy Beamish opposed everything he said by a monotonous but effective So you say, and drove him to the limit of his patience.无论他说什么,比尔什都说同一句单调却又很起作用的话加以反对:这可是你说的,这真使他忍无可忍。 Whatever he said, Toddy Beamish world disagree and say Thats only what you say, in a dull and unchanging, but effective way; this made him so angry that he could no longer put up with it. 2 Look here, Mr. Beamish, said Mr. Fotheringay. Let us clearly understand what a miracle is. Its something contrary to the course of nature done by power of Will. “看这儿,比米什先生,”佛泽林盖说道。“让我们来清楚地弄懂什么是奇迹。奇迹是通过意志的力量产生违反自然规律的事物。”Its something contrary to the course of nature done by power of Will.奇迹是通过意志的力量产生违反自然规律的事物。 A miracle is something caused by the will of God, which is impossible according to the ordinary laws of nature. 3 So you say, said Mr. Beamish.“这可是你说的,”比米什先生说道。4 For instance, said Mr. Fotheringay. Here would be a miracle. That lamp, in the natural course of natu
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