Five Languages of Love.ppt

FiveLanguagesofLove MollyBrown BACHKDParentEducatormolly brown chkd org757 668 9304 Whyareyouheretoday Hopefully youcametolearnhowtofillachild semotionaltank How Bylearningtospeaktheirlovelanguage Beforewestart Unconditionalloveisthefoundation Nomatterwhattheylooklike Handicaps Abilities BehaviorYoustillcareforthem Findingachild sprimarylovelanguageisimportant Overtime achild sprimarylovelanguagemaychange Withchildrenunderage5 youmightnotbeabletofigureouttheirprimarylovelanguage UnderstandingLanguagesofLove Caregiversdoneedtospeakall5lovelanguagestokeeptheemotionaltankfull Ifyouhaveseveralchildren chancesaretheyspeakdifferentlovelanguagesandneedtobelovedindifferentways Howdidyouknowanadultlovedyouwhenyouwereyounger LanguagesofLove PhysicalTouch WordsofAffirmation QualityTime Gifts ActsofService 1Touch HighfivesHugsBearhugsKissesPatsSoftstrokesMassageSnugglingRidingpiggybackContactsports Ifyouweretoask Howdoyouknow lovesyou Iknowmymommylovesmebecausesheisalwayshuggingme andmyfriends ABookofHugs Mr CassidyalwaysgivesmeahighfivewhenIseehim PhysicalTouch Infants toddlers schoolagechildren needlots Boys7 9yearsold mayresisthugsandkissesbutstillneedphysicalcontact wrestling bearhugs highfives playingsports runningyourhandsthroughtheirhair Adolescence Boysandgirlspullbackbutdon tholdbacktouches Girlsneedmoreexpressionsoflovefromdadsduringthistime ifnot theywillseekitoutfromanotherman Touching SomeneedpersonalspaceReadbodylanguagePullback Askifyoucan Ifyouusephysicaltouchasanexpressionofangerorhostility spanking andthisistheirlovelanguage youwillhurtthemverydeeply Sofindwaystousepositivetouch Findthemoments 2Affirmation WordsofPraiseEncouragementGuidanceSupportSomechildrenbecomeaccustomedtopraiseandexpectit self esteem Words Givepositivemessages Iloveyou somecan tsaythis Thankyoufor I msoproudofyou I msoproudofyoufor VerbalorWritten WriteanotePostitInwiththeirlunchOntheirhand TheKissingHand SendacardSendanemail Youareacheerleader Wow thatwasclose or That sagreateffort you vealmostgotit insteadof Comeonyoucandobetterthanthat Ican tdoit Encouragemeans toinstillcourage Youhaven tbeenabletodoituptonow Communication Areyoureallylistening Needtobeapproachable accepting open noputdowns non judgmental Watchyourtoneandbodylanguage BoystoMen Wewant CaringSensitiveBelieveinfemaleequalityWestillsay Don tcry Toughenup Bestrong Whatsportdoyouplay Beaman Chooseyourwordscarefully Wordsofdisapprovalwillhurtthemverydeeply Commentonthepositive So findwaystoencourageandpraise 3QualityTime Playwithme Inaschoolsettingadultsshowthislovelanguagebybeinga Teacherthatstaysafterschool Volunteerthatcomesintoread Staffpersonwhocomesouttoafterhourschoolevents Whenyouspendtimewithachild youcreatememoriesforalifetime Mydadcomestomysoccergameandwegooutforasmoothieafterwards Momtookjustmefishing Plentyoftimetotalk Time PlanforqualitytimeLunchCampingtripOne on onetimewitheachchildBeexcitedtoseethem Findtimewhenyouarerelaxedandupbeat notexhausted Qualityvs Quantity EyecontactAreyouignoringme OftenuseinnegativewaySmile ReallybewiththemQualityconversationAskspecificquestionsGiveexamplesfromyourdayTrystorytelling Parents DoANYTHING WatchamovieReadabookTriptothestoreFingerpaintwithchocolatepuddingDancetogetherGotoajumphouseGomermaidhunting Ask Ifyoucoulddosomethingspecialwithmom dad whatwouldthatbe flashlighttagKeepitsimple makeitfun KISMIF FamilyDinner Slowdown Learntosay No tootherobligations Maketimewithyourchildapriority Sogoplay 4Gifts HaslittletodowiththesizeandcostNottobeapaybackorbribeAvoidaguiltgift goingoverboardisnotthecureall Shouldbepersonal know learninterestofthechildTangible visualreminder Iknowyourthinkingaboutme Achildwouldsay Momboughtmenewschoolclothes Mydadboughtmeabaseballglove GrandpabroughtmearockfromYellowstonePark ReceivingGifts Childrenwhoseprimarylovelanguageisgiftswill MakeabigdealaboutreceivingthegiftWantthepresentwrappedorgiveninacreativewayWilltalkabouthowitiswrappedFeelveryspecialwhenopeningitandwantyourundividedattentionwhileopeningitMakeaspecialplaceforthegiftandwanttoshareorshowittofriendsItwillnotmatterifthegiftwasbought made orfound Whatmattersisthatyouthoughtaboutthem Divorce Theexpensivepresentwillnotmakeeverythingbetter Toomanygifts NomeaningChildbecomes emotionallydead toreceiving 5ActsofService Whomdoyouserve Kids parent employer spouse significantother church organizationItisphysicallyandemotionallydemandingtoprovideactsofservice Schoolnurse BusdriverthatsaysaspiritedGoodmorning Whatcanyouteachachild Toservepeoplewhoareinnowayabletoreturnorrepaythekindness HavingabaddayDifferentDisabledDisadvantaged Iknowmymom dad grandmalovesmebecause ShealwayshelpsmewithmyhomeworkHefixesmybikeHetakesmetomykaratelessonsShemakesmechocolatechippancakesonSaturdays Makeserviceageappropriate DoforyourchildrenwhattheycannotdoforthemselvesinitiallyAstheyareready teachthemhowtoservethemselvesandothers makethebed laundry cook putclothesaway hangupjacket etc RecognizingActsofService Aschildrenmature theyincreasinglynoticewhatisbeingdoneforthemandarealsoawareofwhathasbeendoneinthepast Theywillalsonoticewhatadultsdoforotherpeopleandwillwanttoparticipateinworkprojectstoo Whenyourchild sprimarylovelanguageisservice Rememberwhentheyaskforyourhelp Canyoufixthis theyareaskingyoutodomorethanatask theyneedyoutofilltheiremotionallovetank Thisdoesnotmeanyoujumpateveryrequest Itdoesmeanthatyoushouldbemoresensitivetothoserequestsandrecognizethatyourresponsewilleitherfilloremptytheiremotionaltank RoleModel Setagoodexampleinpublicandprivate RespectingothersDon tforgetyourPleaseThankyouI msorryKeepyourword Whileachildisdoinghomework Youcanmodelreadingandstudying Hospitality Hostingothersinyouhome Helpyourchildfosterpositiverelationshipswithfriends siblingsandmembersofthecommunity Beachild sadvocate DaycareSchoolFromabullyFamilyNeighbors Actsofservicetoself TeachthatyouneedtotakecareofyourbodybytakingcareofYOURbody Askyourself DoIhavedowntime DoImaketimetodothingsIenjoy AmIgettingenoughsleep Howismynutrition AmIfindingwaystofitexerciseintomyroutine DoIhavehighselfesteemandtalkhighlyofmyself WhenwasthelasttimeIlaughed AmericanAcademyofPediatrics AAP Achild shealthdependssignificantlyonthecareandguidanceyouofferduringhisearlyyears Regularcheckups keepinghimsafefromaccidents providinganutritiousdiet andencouragingexercisethroughoutchildhood youhelpprotectandstrengthenhisbody SleepNeeds Infants14 18hoursToddlers11hrsplusatwohournapPreschoolers11 12hrs average8 7atnightand9 5withanap Schoolage10 11hoursAdolescents9 25hrs average6hr50min Adults8 25hrs average6hr54min Whichoneisachild sprimarylovelanguage Howcanyoutell Observehowachildexpresseslovetoyouandtoothers Listentowhatachildrequestsmost Noticewhatachildmostfrequentlycomplainsabout Giveachildachoicebetweentwooptions Takethequiz Whenachild slovetankisfull itfostersemotionaldevelopmentandbetterequipsthechildtolearn Emptylovetank Misbehavior Whentheyactouttheyaresaying Doyouloveme Helpchildrenlearntoidentifyandexpressanger Teachappropriateways Stove Black pink problemtosolve red redhotHowbiganicecubedoyouneedtocooldown AngerandLoveAdultsmusthaveahandleontheiranger Ifyoumakeamistake admitit ApologizeKidscanbeveryforgiving Singleparentingandlovelanguages Lovetankhasbeenruptured Helpachildprocessgrief DenialAngerBargainingMoreangerParentsarealsogrievingandneedtimeaswell Teenageyears VeryvulnerabletimeTheyneedpremiumfuel Music Whenyousing youusemorebraintissue Createsconnectionsinthebrain Musiccrea