5WaystoInstantlyAppearMoreConfident.doc

5 Ways to Instantly Appear More ConfidentToday Im going to teach how you to appear more confident.Why? Because confidence is one of the most important skills in life that you can acquire (other than learning to use the Force, obviously).Now, Im not teaching you this stuff just so you can become some sleazy pickup artist. Im teaching you because I know how important even a little bit of confidence can be in everyday situations, whether its negotiating with your boss for a raise, buying a car, giving a presentation, or meeting your fiances parents.Were naturally attracted to and will have our opinions swayed by those who have (or appear to have) a lot of confidence. Nerds usually get the short end of the stick in the “naturally confident” department, but that doesnt mean we cant acquire it like a new skill, Matrix-style! If youve started losing weight, Im sure part of you still feels like the old you, even if youve changed physically its time to take pride in yourself and truly be comfortable in your own skin.Here are five steps that you can take to start seeing a difference immediately.Stop slouchingIf you can develop good posture, a trait that always seems to bypass nerds, youll appear approximately 145% more confident within seconds (I definitely made up that stat, by the way).I used to have awful posture through most of my life (which caused lots of lower back pain). It wasnt until I made a conscious effort to focus on standing up straight and strengthening my lower back that the pain went away. In order to stay on target, I actually hung a “POSTURE!” post-it on my bedroom door so I wouldnt forget each morning. Heres how you can get started:Stand up as TALL as you can, like youre a puppet and somebody just pulled the string thats attached to the top of your nogginPull your shoulder blades down and back as far as possible This will feel really weird if you spend a lot of time hunched over a deskPick your chin up and look straight ahead stop looking down while walking around, theres a whole world out there for you to seeIf you have trouble pulling your shoulder blades back, try doing two back exercises (say, lat pull downs and dumbbell rows) for every one chest exercise in your workout. This will build up the muscles in your upper back and allow you to actually pull those shoulder blades back together. Want something easier? Try standing with your heels, butt, and head against a wall, and then pull your shoulder blades back until theyre touching the wall too. Do this daily and increase the length of the stretch each time.If you spend all day in a chair, try this: sit down in your chair, and then stand back up WITHOUT having to rock forward. If you have to lean forward even slightly, youre doing it wrong. Sit straight up like youre always ready to stand without having to lean forward. Your lower back will probably get tired as hell sitting like this because its not used to the new position work on it. Do planks every other day (working your way up to two minutes), and youll have a rock-solid core and incredibly strong lower back.This is probably the hardest step of all, as youve probably spent years and years developing poor posture without even thinking about it. Spend a month making a concerted effort to have better posture however, and youll be well on your way to a more confident appearance. Pretty soon you wont even have to think about it!Slow downI am terrified of public speaking. Seriously, I hate being in front of even a small crowd. However, at my old job I was put on stage in front of thousands of people to introduce bands and I sounded like I belonged up there. You know how I did it? By taking a deep breath, slowing down, and practicing. I still get really nervous, but Ive learned to manage it so well that nobody notices.Whats the importance of slowing down? When you get nervous, your voice tends to go up a few notes and youll talk faster than you realize. These are two dead ringers for “scaredy cat.”Ill never forget presenting my senior business proposal back in college. About thirty seconds into my presentation which I thought was going well I noticed my friend Deepa in the back of the room frantically waiving her arms at me, mouthing “SLOOOWWW DOWNNNN.” I quickly readjusted my speech, talked WAY slower than I thought I needed to, and took longer breaths between sentences. She later told me that she couldnt understand the beginning at all but the rest of it came out perfectly. The rest of that class was molded by that presentation, so thanks Deepa for saving my ass!If you get nervous in front of people no matter how big or small the group, talk slower than you think you need to, and dont forget to breathe. In your head it might seem way too slow, but out loud its just right.People dont smile enough these days, so were bringing it back. When dealing with any situation or scenario where youre uncomfortable, its easy to get caught up in your head, which means you probably have a stupidly sad look on your face. Pretty soon, youll develop the reputation of “that creepy guy in the corner who smells like cheese.” Now, if you dont smell like cheese, youre already halfway home!Well just work on the other half: smile.Not a fake smile, not a creepy smile, but a genuine smile.Dont know how to smile correctly? Stand in front of a mirror, close your eyes, and look down. Look up, smile, and open your eyes at the same time. See that smile right there? THATS a genuine smile. Just like Butters.Win the staring contestUnless you work at home in your underwear and only interact with your cat (my day is way different than that shut up), you probably have quite a few conversations with people on a daily basis:Your coworkers at the water coolerThe lady behind the counter at CVSYour waitress at lunchRandom strangers that you pass on the street.When was the last time you looked somebody in the eye until THEY looked away first? If youre like me, youve probably always been the first to “flinch.”I say no more!Starting right now, youre going to be the person that doesnt look away. Think of each interaction as a mini-battle your eyes against theirs. As long as youre smiling and blinking, you wont come across as creepyunless, of course, youre actually a creep. If youve always been shy, the first few times doing this will be absolutely nerve-wracking power through it. Once you start to be the non-flincher consistently, youll quickly learn that everybody else is nervous as hell too and will quickly look away given enough time.Get out of your headAfter going through some physical changes, its going to take time for you to adjust how you feel on the inside versus how you look on the outside. I sometimes still feel like the 5-foot, 100-pound high-school sophomore with braces even though I havent looked like that for over a decade. I have friends who used to be fat guys who still feel huge even though they have a single digit body fat percentage.Its time to stop living inside your head.If you feel out of place in a situation, everybody around you probably does too. We all have our own insecurities; its those of us that can exist outside of our brains and project confidence that usually get what were chasing. As a fellow nerd and chronic over-thinker, I know this is tough to do: stop thinking so damn much and just go for it.Once you spot somebody youre interested in, dont give yourself more than three seconds before approaching him/her. Anything beyond that will cause you to over-analyze the situation in your head and probably end up doing nothing. Youll quickly learn that “if you dont ask, the answer is always no, ” so you have nothing to lose.Introduce yourself immediately to strangers at a party get the awkward out of the way immediately, and youll come across as cool and collected.Once you have your speech or presentation prepared, dont give yourself hours to get nervous concentrate on something else to occupy your mind until its time to present. Dont over-think, just follow the plan and talk slowly.Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”I bet those three things listed above seem scary to 95% of the population (they all scare the bajeezus out of me, which is precisely why I force myself to do them). Part of building confidence is taking risks and having the ability (and the guts) to do stuff that scares you.Your missionAs you follow these five steps, youll start to appear more confident, which will make some of your encounters more successful, which will instill more confidence in you, which will then make even MORE of your encounters successful, and so on. Think of your confidence like a giant snowball with lots of inertia tough to get started, but once its rolling the momentum will take over.Your homework for today - while walking down the street with your head held high, shoulders back, and a big smile on your fa