你是否希望改变孤独的现状？.doc

2013-10-13 12:40阅读(432)你是否希望改变孤独的现状？Feeling Lonely and Want to Change?Feeling lonely is one of the worst emotional situations we know of. After you take care of your physical needs (food, shelter and security), the need for friendship can only grow bigger.众所周知，孤单是一种很糟糕的境况。在生理需求（食物，家具，安全）得到满足后，人与人之间的友谊就会被放大。Being alone, not having someone to share your worries and hopes with, makes you feel a certain kind of emptiness. Its actually natural for your body to make you feel that way: our physiology is designed to push us to go and socialize, and stay CLOSE to people.独自一人，没有人可以分担你的忧虑，与你共享理想，这些都会让你感到空虚。我们本能的会让我们参与社交活动，与人亲近。Why Feeling Lonely Can Get Worse With Time.随着时间流逝，为什么会觉得越来越孤独？Maybe you noticed that when you are lonely, you start to feel cynical and suspicious of people. Thats normal because deep down in our nature, loneliness is associated with rejection and danger. These emotions are tied with loneliness.在孤独地时候，你开始对人冷漠，疑神疑鬼。就人类本性而言，心情低落是很正常的，孤独也总是与拒绝、危险紧紧相连。这类情感总是与孤独并存。Even if YOU decide that you want to be left alone, you still feel that society is rejecting you, and the mental gap between you and other people grows bigger if you dont do something to stop to it. This can lead to loneliness worsening by other means:即使你已经决定想要自己一个人，但是你依然会感觉到社会在排斥你，如果你不做点什么事去阻止它，这种鸿沟只会越来越大。以下这些方式会加重孤独感：You stop relating to normal people because you spend a lot of time on your own, which makes it even harder to start making friends.你用的很多时间在自己的事情上，不与那些正常的人交往，这样也会很难交到朋友。You start losing your social skills. Social intelligence is like any other kind of intelligence: if you dont use it, you lose it.开始遗忘一些社交技巧。它与其他的一些技巧一样，不用就忘了。You become irritable: when youre lonely, problems and setbacks start to seem bigger to you.开始变得暴躁。独自一人的时候，问题和挫折似乎就变得更困难。You lose some of your motivation: after long periods of hard-work, a bit of socializing can give you all the energy you need. The lack of it can make goals matter less.遗失往日的激情：一段时间的辛苦工作后，一些社会活动会带给你一些你所需的能量。没有它，没有目标。The thing is, loneliness drains your energy, and make your goals and aspirations seem much harder to attain.The sooner you deal with it, the better.事实是，孤独能排空你的精力，目标和报复就更难实现。处理及时，结果就会越好。What Kind of Friends Make Loneliness Go Away?哪类朋友可以赶走孤独？As you might know, not everyone can be the friend you could openly share your life with. In fact, some people can make you feel even more “alone”; we call them “the close-minded”. You dont want to spend your time with those!也许你明白，并不是所有人都会敞开胸怀和你共享生活。事实上，一部分人会让你觉得更加“孤独”。我们称这类人为“关闭心门的人”。你也不想和这类人共享生活。You need friends who will understand youones who will actually LIKE the unique things you do, and accept your individuality. These are the kind of friends with whom you can share your life, your dreams. You could go out with them, without ever worrying about being judged or being seen as “weird”.需要一些能够理解你的朋友，他们比较喜欢你做些独特的事情，也接受你的独特性。这类朋友可以和你共享生活，分享你的理想。和他们一起出去玩，不必担心会被评头论足，或者被认为是“怪物”。Its with genuine friends like this that you start to feel really happy that you have the right people with whom you can go out to parties and nice dinners; to go on trips and adventures; to celebrate your birthdays and have the fun of your life.和这类真正的朋友一起就是，不管是参加聚会，吃饭，去冒险还是去庆生，都会开始感到开心，享受生活。How to Start Meeting Friends怎样去和朋友见面？The rule of thumb is that friendship needs to be ABOUT something: this can be a passion, an activity, a hobby, a shared opinion, etc.维持友谊的首要规则是一种激情，一种活动，一种兴趣，交流意见，等等。What you need to do, is get to the places where you have the highest chances of meeting others who are looking for friends too. These places are Meetup groups, charity groups, or expats events. You can also join a Toast masters group if you also want to learn public speaking.你需要做的是到那些地方去，在那里你更有可能遇到和你一样的在寻找朋友的人。这些地方可能是一些会面的团体、慈善机构、或者处理外籍认识事情的地方。如果你想学习演说、你也可以加入土司团体。Why it Works为什么会奏效？When you join a group, you feel obligated to go there each week: its hard to forget about it and get distracted. These groups are designed for people to meet new friends, and when you attend, you can introduce yourself to anyone you bump into. Try to find as many commonalities between you and the people youd like to hang out with later, so its only natural to keep in touch with one another. If you just do just that, youre way ahead of the curveyouve taken the first step out of loneliness, and into a life full of the friends