记叙文写区作讲座.doc

道外区英语学科2012-2013学年度上学期毕业班教研培训材料记叙文写作训练指导一、第四册下教材的处理意见 1、大胆取舍，重组加工教材为中考服务 第一课：听力+交际 方法指导：1） 听力训练有针对性，有方法指导，内容设计符合中考的命题要求2） 交际项目内容参考2012考试说明中的内容进行重组和加工。 第二课：阅读+写作 （选取比较典型的记人、记事的课文） 方法指导：1） 朗读充分2） 课文结构分析充分3） 写作方法解析充分4） 改写训练到位5） 提供素材组装作文6） 提供范文备战中考 第三课：语法教学方法指导：1） 回忆学过的内容（小组合作，分享已会的知识）2） 总结知识的规律3） 教师用精炼的语言总结、概括4） 用中考模拟试题及中考原题作为学生练习的材料5） 检测学生掌握的情况 第四课：应用文写作 方法指导1） 解读评分标准2） 解读命题规律3） 指导写作过程 * 12月11日 下午12:50 地点：嵩山中学 内容：应用文写作训练研讨课 作课教师：刘钢 王文竹 第五课：词汇教学 方法指导： 1）选词：考试说明上的词汇 2）分类：考点词汇、写作词汇、阅读理解词汇 3）设计训练题 4）检测 2、内容精而少，考点的命中率高 3、训练试题编写含金量高，符合中考命题规律，学生少走弯路。 4、学生的思考、参与远远重要于教师的讲。二、记叙文写作指导 1、2008年中考评分标准回顾1） 今年中考作文总体情况分析作文最高分为13、7分，全市13分以上作文共计36人次，约占省市重点报考人数的1、5。一等文人数较往年略有上升，只要学生能抓住材料中的信息点，没有比较明显的语法错误，行文比较流畅，基本上就可以定在一等文，即12分以上！2）08年升学考试记叙文写法的基本要求：首先材料中体现的三个信息点必须掌握，即：1、 一件事 2、 勤奋好学 3、 同桌；如果学生这三点均具备，他的作文分数就先被定在一等文里，也就是说从15分往下扣分，最低为12分。三个信息点只要缺一点，就被降一个等次！（本次考试中很多学生对第二个信息点把握不好，也就是说跑题文较多，因此按照这种批法跑题学生就可以多得点分，不至于被降到四等。）1段：尽量使用议论的写法或是开门见山的写法。（开篇采用排比句式写法的学生，分数普遍较高。）2段：记叙“一件事”，多写降等，而且要直奔主题，不要罗嗦。3段：谈从中得到的收获，整篇文章的升华部分。注：由于记叙文的特点，本次高分作文文章普遍很长，字数均在百词以上，叙事的流畅性很重要。3）评分原则： 1. 考生要根据所提供的材料和话题作答，按四个等次给分。 2. 使用了真实姓名、地名和学校名，此题不给分。 3. 有下列情况之一降一个等次：脱离所提供的信息材料和话题；文体不符；词数不足80个 4. 有下列情况之一在总分中扣一分：书写字迹潦草，以致影响交际；没拟标题或标题有误；严重语法错误（影响正确表达）每处扣1分，同一错误不重复扣分，最多不超过3分。 5. 文中出现拼写、大小写、词语搭配或措词不当等错误1-3个扣1分，3个以上扣2分，最多不超过2分。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。4）评分要求： 1. 评分时应先考虑文章结构（选材的谋篇布局，语言表达）及文章的可读性，其次考虑较为复杂的词语和句子结构的准确性。 2. 评分时要根据文章内容和语言初步确定其所属等次，再以该等次的要求来衡量，确定或调整等次，最后给分。 5）评分标准以外的要求 1. 如学生使用排比句式或夹叙夹议的写法，这样的作文最起码具备“可读性强”这一给分标准。 2跑题文章不参照议论文评分标准，只要漏信息点就逐等降次。即文章缺一点，降一等，没有其它错误，行文流畅，就可得二等最高分，11分。 3. 只写标题，给1分。（标题两种写法，动词可以不加-ing） 4. 写了标题，写了几句和主题有关的话，就可以得5分。 5. 文章格式是否顶格无所谓，最好三段式；只写一段，行文很好，也可以-不扣分。 6如两个学生背的是同一篇范文，均不得分。6）导致丢分的普遍性错误及原因。 跑题！即漏掉了信息点，很多学生写“如何帮助他人”，也有写“我的朋友”，还有记叙两件事的。总之，学生缺乏捕捉信息点的能力。另外，字迹的工整程度也对评卷老师的等次设定起到关键作用！ 2、记叙文的写作要领分析 （一）记叙文的方法记叙文：夹叙夹议的方法。记人的记叙文：通过一件事或三个层面记叙一个人，第一段：交代主题，交代人物，用启下句连接下段第二段：一件事：事情的起因、经过、结果 三个层面：抓住事件的关键略写。 灵活运用语言描写，心理描写，动作描写、肖像描写以及对细节的描写等写作手段。要包含议论和抒情第三段：升华主题，总结全文，给读者留下深刻的印象。记事的记叙文：以写事为主的记叙文，应该注意交待六要素（时间、地点、人物、事件、原因、结果），应该注意描写先后顺序以及记事的相对完整，注意把握好事情的开始、发展、高潮及结局。第一段：交代主题，(交代事件中涉及到的人)。用启下句连接下段第二段：详细记录事情的起因，经过，结果。注意细节的描写。利用语言、行为、心理描写等手段第三段：这件事对你的启示，总领全文，扣题 * 开头结尾的写作方法：排比、比喻、名言，反问等手法。 开头：Happiness is like the sunshine in the cold winter, warm and comfortable. Happiness is like the rain that falls into the dry land, soft and timely. Happiness is like mothers embrace (拥抱), gentle and deep. I couldnt forget the thing that happened between my mother and me that night. 结尾：Mothers love is like fire, lighting the lanterns of hope. Mothers love is like lanterns, brightening the roads of going forward. Mothers love is like roads, leading my whole life. It is mothers love that makes me never feel poor. It is also mothers love makes me feel happy.（二） 记叙文的语言特点1 以一般过去时为主，各种时态为辅，合理的使用丰富多彩的动词时态是记叙文的首要语言特点。2 多用动词，尤其上动态性强的行为动词是英语记叙文的又一个明显的语言特点。3 适当使用连接词。请看下面范文是如何表现记叙文的语言特点的：Yesterday was the first day of the military training. I was dreaming when the bell for getting up rang. The moment I heard the bell, I rose immediately, dressed quickly and then rushed to the playground. The drillmaster asked us to finish preparations within only six minutes.The drillmaster was very strict with us. We had to drill an action again and again until he was satisfied. At break time, he joined us in singing, dancing and telling stories .We were getting on very well. The sun was so strong that our clothes were all wet . But we still went on drilling .One of my classmates even fell to the ground in a faint.The life of the military training is very hard. But I think it is meaningful. Not only does it build up our bodies, but it also strengthens our determination to overcome difficulties. A：主要时态：一般过去时，而且这些动词都动态性的展示了说话人军训第一天的具体情况。B：范文中下划线部分是逻辑联系词语。这些逻辑联系词语的使用，使说话人的行为更有连贯性，使文章叙述更有条理，思路更加清晰。感想直抒胸臆，时态运用恰当。（三）英语记叙文的写作方法1 基本的结构： 1开端(beginning)2发展(developing)3高潮(climax) 4结局(ending).2 内容： 1时间(time)，2地点(place)，3人物(who)4什么事(what happened)，5如何发生(how happened) 6发生的原因(why)。3 叙事角度： 采用第一人称或第三人称第一人称常用于写自传或本人经历，或者用来记述耳闻目睹的事件。 第三人称客观叙述人物或事件。4 顺序： 1顺叙2倒叙3插叙5 线索： 时间线索，按时间的顺序来展开。 地点线索，以地点的转移为顺序来展开。 事件线索，人物出现的先后次序来展开。 人物的思想行为及认知过程为线索。（三）写作要点： 细节：要求对描写的事物进行细致的观察，根据描写对象的特点结合文章中心来选取细节材料。 感想：在观察的同时有时需要记录下自己的感受，加入描写中。比较下列两段描写： I often go to the park and have a walk. The park has a long path with big green trees on each side. The sunshine is blocked by leaves in hot summers. I often hear kids laughing when I walk there. I like the park very much. 本段只做了单纯的景物描写，未融入自己的感情，尽管句末加了一句直抒情感的句子，但是由于前文没有感情铺垫，令人感到有些唐突。I often go to the park and have a walk. When I walk on the long path with big green trees, they kindly keep the hot summer sunshine away from me. I am relaxed in the cool breeze. I smile when I hear kids happy laughter nearby. I like the park very much.第二段在每个场景描写中都加 入了作者对公园里的所见所闻的感受，因此令喜爱公园的情感自然的表达出来，这也就做到了情景交融，令叙述的文字变的生动起来。范文：The teacher I remember very well was a woman teacher. She took so much care of the students and was so concerned about how well we did that we all regard her as a mother. She always required us to learn. However, when we had troubles, she would be patient and would encourage us to work until we got the answer. Not only would she demand intellectually，the way she taught us was how to think and analyze. She would not just teach us to memorize facts or spoon feed us, she would actually teach us how to solve problems analytically. It was she who gave me a love for English, and I love to study English because of her. so I love her very much. （教师点评）：本文很好的运用了提示，内容要点齐全，表达灵活，人称，时态把握较好，叙述条理，思路清晰，运用了一些高级词汇和较复杂的语法结构如上黑体部分，这些短语和倒装句，结果状语从句等句式的运用使文章更加生动，灵活，逻辑词语运用合理，使本文语言流畅。（四）叙述与对话 引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是记叙文提高表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述，可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态，使记叙生动、有趣，使文章内容更加充实、具体。试比较下面两段的叙述效果： I was in the kitchen, and I was cooking something. Suddenly I heard a loud noise from the front. I thought maybe someone was knocking the door. I asked who it was but I heard no reply. After a while I saw my cat running across the parlor. I realized it was the cat. I felt released. 这本来应是一段故事性很强的文字，但经作者这么一写，就不那么吸引人了。原因是文中用的都是叙述模式，没有人物语言，把“悬念”给冲淡了。可作如下调整： I was in the kitchen cooking something. “Crash!” a loud noise came from the front. Thinking someone was knocking at the door, I asked, “Who?” No reply. After a while, I saw my cat running across the parlor. “Its you.” I said, quite released. （五）突出中心，详略得当 在文章的框架确定后，对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍，应该从表现文章主题的需要出发，分清主次，定好详略。要突出重点，详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节，略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化，使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题，也需要一定的技巧。如： Riding a bike in the street with my dad was quite fun for me when I was a 5-year-old girl. But learning to ride was a bad pain but a good lesson for me. I still remembered clearly how badly I fell off the bike and got black and blue all over. I cried hard, shouting, “I will never learn to ride.” Dad didnt comfort me. Instead, he looked at me silently. I cried harder and harder not only because of my pain but also because of his coldness. Since I realized I couldnt get any help from him, I had to stand up by myself. “If you are afraid of falling off the bike again and give up learning to ride, say goodbye to your bicycle. If you think you cant today, you can never tomorrow.” It was hard for a little girl to understand these words, but I couldnt say goodbye to my favorite bike. “No way! I can. Wait and see!” I got on the bike（六）用活语言，准确生动 记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动，又要表现力强，这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动，其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。 原文： One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away. He was soon lost among people and traffic. He could not find the way back home and started crying. Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying. They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened. Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived. The two students decided to take him home. Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound. She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didnt take it. She served them with tea but they left. 修改后： The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street. After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home. But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic. When he could not find the way home, he started and crying. Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop. They immediately went up to him. “Little boy, why are you standing here crying?” they asked. “I want Mom, I go home.” said the boy, still crying. “Dont worry, well send you home.” And they spent the next two hours looking for the boys house. With the help of a policeman, they finally found it. When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house. Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea. My Piano PerformanceI have been playing piano for four years. My deepest memory is my first piano performance. That year I just started learning piano for a couple of months. When I heard the news that there was going to be a piano performance coming up in a few weeks, I felt very nervous. Finally came that day. When we arrived at the concert hall, my hands just started trembling unexpectedly. Just looking at my teachers warm face let me gain back my self-confidence. When it was my turn to perform, I held my head high up, boldly went up the stage, sat on the chair, and lifted up my hands to play. In one breath, I played the piece from beginning to end and played it very smoothly and very pleasantly. Soon, a thunder of applause filled the concert hall, I felt very happy, and very proud of myself, too. That is my first piano performance, and I will never forget it for the rest of my life.（七） 补充说明 1）多用形容词、副词2） 恰当使用一连串的动词3） 多用短语 hope = look forward to bear = put up with 4） 多用Ving 做状语从Ving开始1. Jonathan ripped his pants when he was falling out of the tree.2. The elephant was eating leaves in the jungle and it suddenly saw a mouse.3. I hoped to win the $500 prize for singing my favorite song in the contest.1 Falling out of the tree, Jonathan ripped his pants.2 Eating leaves in the jungle, the elephant suddenly saw a mouse.3 Singing my favorite song in the contest, I hoped to win the $500 prize表达的方式更生动活泼，表达效果非常地好！5） 多用Ved 做后置定语6） ly状语提前 从ly开始1. The animals widely ran around their cages.2. The cat looked into the box curiously,3. The teacher patiently explained the lesson to her students.1. Widely, the animals ran around their cages.2. Curiously, the cat looked into the box.3. Patiently, the teacher explained the lesson to her students.在副词后须用逗号把副词和主句隔开。句子产生了微妙的变化。7） 运用不同的句型结构 写作中的四种 基本句型1. 陈述句：陈述事实或观点。标点规则：句子以句号结尾。2. 疑问句：对事实提问或询问事实。标点规则：句子以问号结尾。3. 祈使句：表式请求、命令、劝告、建议。标点规则：句子以句号结尾。4. 感叹句：表式喜怒哀乐等强烈感情。标点规则：句子以句号结尾。The picture is of a hippie(嬉皮士)in the 1960s. The fashions seem strange to us now. He is wearing beads and bellbottoms(喇叭裤). His hair is long an