2016中考写作供参考.docx

冲刺2016年中考英语写作专题突破 芮 学 国 2016.5.20.o 上海市中考话题给力整合o 04年：Leaving school（毕业时分）o 05年：Growing pains and gains（成长的烦恼与快乐）o 06年：I have a dream （我有一个梦想）o 07年：Things I hate to do(我不喜欢)o 08年：Love around me （我身边的爱）o 09年：I want to do something for my school (我想为学校做点事）o 10年：I am proud of myself (我为我自己而自豪）o 11年：I am a member of(我是成员）o 12年：为一位临考焦虑的朋友写一封信，给一些建议。o 13年：结合生活中的一个场景，写如何保护我自己How to protect myself o 14年: This time next yearo 15年：I want to invento 16年：？o2016评价指南要求 优秀水平标准： o 能准确运用词汇和句型结构，较生动和详细地描述情景或叙述所给话题，能准确自如地表达态度和感情；能在写作中恰当地引用资料，能应用谚语、俗语等，能清楚地阐述自己的观点和评述他人的观点，具有一定的人文意识。o 能用流畅的语言组织常见体裁的短文，逻辑清楚，结构完整，层次清晰，内容充实，文体恰当。 2016评价指南要求基本要求 主要测试学生根据要求进行书面表达的能力： 运用词汇和语法知识写出正确的句子的能力； 用通顺连贯的语言围绕一个主题进行表达的能力。 1.中考英语作文万能模式“四审四注意写作法”英语写作是中考英语试题中的一道主观性试题，和完形填空题一样属“压轴题”，上海中考英语写作近几年来分值不断上升，现一般为20分，要求考生根据所给情景、图画、英语问题或中文提示等用在20分钟内写出一篇不少于60词的文章，要求意思明确，内容连贯，体裁有议论文、记叙文等，近几年多以夹叙夹议为主，所给提示不多或半命题作文，主题基于“我”、“我”的学习或生活，对审题要求较高，要求考生作文有个性化，能围绕观点有事例展开或进行合理想像（有关联性），层次清晰，有逻辑性。根据中考作文评分标准，语言占8分，内容占8分，组织结构为4分，一般得14分以上方可能有组织结构分，如何在中考中取得高分呢？现结合我教学、命题和阅卷经历，谈一谈“四审四注意写作法”。“四审”：一审标题、文体、格式，这样可以为下面的写作如人称、时态、内容、格式等奠定基础；二审人称，如是第一人称I或we为主还是以第二人称you 或第三人称she, he, it或they为主；三审时态，一般而言，写作时文章应多以现在时（包括一般现在时、一般将来时、现在完成时和现在进行时）或过去时（一般宜用一般过去时或过去进行时,也包括过去将来时和过去完成时）为主，切忌时态混乱；四审内容，如有英文问题提示，应尽量按照所给提示来写；如没有英文问题提示，不可偏题乱发挥，可根据中英文有关提示将内容提炼分解展开叙述，不可遗漏，这是很重要的一点，一般议论文按what，how，why等要素展开；记叙文则按when，where，who，what，how，why等要素展开。“四注意”：一注意文章如果没有给定开头结尾，一般要有开头结尾，当然，开头和结尾的方式不能太落于俗套，要有一定的新意，一般一两句即可，结尾要点题，有所立意；二注意句式要富于变化，不能通篇只有一种句式或句式单调，否则即使无语言和内容错误也难得高分，如可适当用if、when、although、sothat等状语从句，I think/ I hope/I believe /I m sure (that) 等宾语从句，如用定语从句必须有绝对把握(特别是非限制性定语从句)；三注意适当运用关联词，如on the one hand，on the other hand；whats more；in addition；so；however；above all；in a word；luckily等等，这样使文章更有层次、更富逻辑性，若语言和内容没问题,做到第一二三项“注意”就很有希望拿组织结构分。四注意善于运用有把握的词汇或句型，尽量运用课本所学和考纲词句，坚决避免不正确的“中国式英语”，更不能乱“发明”， 一般一篇文章能用6-7个左右的好短语或句式已很不错。最后需要提醒考生的是，中考作文要取得高分,词数不能太少也不能太多,我觉得, 以80词左右为宜。水平非常高的同学可以100词左右，但绝对不能超过120词，基础差的同学也尽力写满60词。另外，现在都是电脑阅卷，书写一定要认真工整，务必用黑色水笔写，以免造成不必要的失分。2部分话题及范文分析(详见以前给大家印发或提供的电子稿) 请注意开头和结尾1）. 关于上海的变化 Great changes in Shanghai With the development of science and technology, great changes have taken place in Shanghai. Many years ago, there used to be narrow and old bridges ,roads and houses in Shanghai. But now, we can find big bridges, wide roads as well as high buildings everywhere. People used to live in small rooms in narrow streets , but now most of them are living in big and comfortable housing estates. Whats more, we can see grass, lakes and parks here and there. To our great joy, the 2010 Expo was held in Shanghai as well. As a Shanghainese, I feel proud of all these changes. We are sure Shanghai will have a bright future tomorrow. 2）. 关于健康 How to keep healthy As the saying goes, “health is wealth.” Then, how to keep healthy? I think taking exercise is quite necessary and important. It is reported that regular exercise can help us strengthen our hearts and thus keep doctors away. Besides, we have to keep a balanced diet and have healthy eating habits. For example, we should eat more vegetables and fruits instead of too much fried food. All in all, we should keep healthy and fit in order to live a better life and serve our country in the future as well.3）. 关于电脑 My View on Computers With the development of science and technology, computers are playing more and more important parts in our life. They can do most of the things people can do. Through computers, we can gain huge amounts of knowledge and information, especially computers have made the communication with our friends more convenient and easier. But some students are so keen on playing games online that they even hate school. I dont think it is right. In my opinion, we should make good use of computers.4）. 关于学习 My way of learning EnglishAs we all know, English is one of the most important languages in the world. So it s important for us to learn. Then how should we learn it well ? In my opinion, the best way to learn it is to do more listening , speaking , reading and writing. Whats more, we should practice them every day. Of course, interest is the best teacher . The more we learn, the more interesting and helpful well find. Just as the saying goes, “Practice makes perfect.” 5）. 关于计划My summer holidays planThe summer holidays are coming. In order to improve myself as well as to enjoy a happy holiday, I have made a reasonable plan. Firstly, I will do some reading to improve myself. Therefore, I will go to the bookshops to buy some new books and try my best to finish reading them. Secondly, since it is a holiday , I will go to travel to some places of interest to broaden my eyes and it will enrich my knowledge as well. Last but not least, I will go to visit some of my teachers and friends. I believe that I will have a wonderful summer holiday.6）.关于名人 My favorite star I am a basketball fan. Of all the stars , I like Yao Ming best . As we all know ,Yao Ming was born in Shanghai and he is a star in NBA now. I like him not only for his amazing height ,but also for his excellent skills in basketball. Although he is quite famous around the world, he often helps people who are in trouble. Therefore, hes always the hero in my mind. I hope that I can be a basketball player like him one day.7） 关于写事 An unforgettable experience In my life there are many experiences which I cant forget. I still remember what happened last year. It was Tree-planting Day. We went to plant trees in Luxun Park. As soon as we arrived, we began to work. Some were digging holes, others were planting and and still others were watering. We all worked very hard so as to plant more trees because we all know trees are the best pollution fighters and they are very useful to man. When the sun went down, we went back home. Although we were very tired, we felt very happy. It is unforgettable because its the first time that I have learnt to plant trees in the park, which is a meaningful job . 上海近几年中考英语高分范文2012 There is no denying that life is a mixture of laughters and tears. As far as I am concerned, the exam can cultivate your confidence and ability. To keep a positive attitude towards it, youll find it easy to overcome. Only by this way can you prove yourself. As a saying goes, There is no royal road to learn. I know this exam is of great importance to you. Dont be so frustrated. To put heart you have learnt into practice and devote your leisure time to studying little by little, youll be delighted to find others speaking highly of you. As a saying goes, Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.I wish you to pursue your extraordinary success. By the way, I believe that this exam is not only significant, but also magnificent! 2013Everyone in my family was awaked by the unusual shaking. The first word that came to my mind was earthquake. When I looked outside of the window, I found everyone running here and there, and I could hear the shouting from the neighbors. Despite the fact that I was in danger, I told myself to calm down and think about the ways to protect myself in an earthquake. I should get outside instead of hiding inside the building. I couldnt take the lift but walk downstairs. No sooner had I got outside than I asked the police for help. And I should always be aware of the unexpected drop overhead.Following these ways, I managed to prevent myself from being hurt, and survived the earthquake. I believe that these are useful ways to protect myself in an earthquake.2014 How time flies! Last year, I was still nervous about the exams, however, Ive become fearless now. What will life be like this time next year? Perhaps Ill study in my favorite high school. My grades may improve a lot. I hope to have the courage to face the challenges through life. Itll be delightful to be more confident and competent. It must be a hectic time. To achieve the above things next year, I still have a long way to go. I should study hard from now on because “Rome was not built in a day”. With the perseverance, step by step, I believe Ill finally make a difference. 2015 I want to invent a disaster teller Disasters always cause huge economy loss and make people die. With a keen desire to reduce such tragedies, I want to invent a disaster teller. It can be used to predict disasters correctly several days before so that people are able to leave the dangerous area in advance. It will be helpful to avoid a lot of death and loss. In brief, if I invent a disaster teller, I believe the world will be a better place for everyone. (79 words) I want to invent a machine that makes peoples hair grow I want to invent a magical machine to promote peoples hair growth. Every single time when I find my Grandpa running his hands through his receding silver hair anxiously, I know its high time that we should do something for the old. This machine will be helpful to make elderly people feel confident. Theres no denying that theyre in dire need not only of physical care, but of mental satisfaction. Im deeply convinced that Ill turn my ideal invention into a reality one day!(84 words) I want to invent a wardrobe I want to invent a wardrobe that is connected to the Internet. It can tell me what to wear today according to the weather report. It also has the function of keeping the inside environment of the wardrobe clean. In addition, it can tell you which article of clothing is out of fashion and needed to be washed, ironed or thrown away. It will be helpful to own such a wardrobe. Our life, especially my moms work will be much easier and more convenient. We will spend less time on worrying about our dressing which is really annoying. (98 words) 温馨提示：虹口去年和今年一二模英语高分范文见公共邮箱等提供材料。3中考英语作文常见语言错误调查分析(可以做一下) 1).时间状语错误错 误类 型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达 误 用 去年春天今晚明天下午4点星期一下午1997年,9月3日last years springtodays night; this night tomorrow afternoon 4 oclockin Monday afternoonon September 3th,1997多 余一天下午在下个月明天上午one day afternoonin next monthin/on tomorrow morning 2).动词误用错误类型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达分词错误看见某人做某事有某人在做某事对感兴趣集邮是我的爱好。我感到激动。盼望做某事saw sb. did sth. There were/are sb. did /are doing sth.be interesting in Collect stamps is my hobby. I felt exciting. look forward to do sth.不定式错误欢迎你做希望某人做使某人做某事请某人来Welcome you to do.hope sb. to do make sb. to do sthask sb. come用词不当参加活动有趣,我忘不了。join activities is so interesting that I cant forget.缺少动词我很高兴。他很累。她不在家。I very happy.He very tired.She didnt at home.3).名词单复数错误中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达一些信息some informations真有趣!What a great fun!3件工作three works一条好消息a good news取得很大的进步make a great progress他们帮助了一个人。They helped a people.4).时态错误错误类型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达时态错误他在这儿7年了。她常给我们讲故事。我昨天刚收到你的信。我将来想当警察。He has been here since 7 years. She often tell us stories.Ive just got your letter yesterday. I will want to be a policeman in the future.5).语态错误错误类型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达误用主动它是上海制造的。她叫海伦。某物能用.一场比赛将举行。It made in Shanghai.She called Hellen. sth. can useA match will hold .误用被动这书好卖。这道题难做。上海发生了很大变化。十年过去了。The book is sold well.The problem is hard to be done.Great changes have been taken place in Shanghai.10 years have been passed.构成错误一座桥在建造。上周我们看到了刘翔。A bridge is been building.Liuxiang is seen by us last week. 6)词性误用错误类型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达adj. /adv. 她的英语很好.努力学习沿着笔直地走独自地做某事我们感到很高兴。Her English is very well.work hardlygo straightly along do sth. lonely (adj.)We felt very happily adv. / v.我乘车去上学。I by bus to school. prep./adv.地离.公里远。iskilometers far from.prep./ v.过马路across the streetnum./adv.第一,。第二,。第三,。The first,.The second,.The third,n./adj在北部in the northernn./v他感谢了我。He thanked to /for me. 7).介词误用错误类型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达误用在村庄附近对有良效在老师的帮助下熟悉某人/某事大声地在阳光下读书nearby the village have a good effect tounder the teachers helpfamiliar with sb./ to sth with a loud voice read under the sun 多余到那儿在回家的路上为人民服务arrived at there, got to thereon ones way to homeserve for the people 8)某些搭配和惯用法误用(较多)中文错误表达正确表达价格便宜。The price is cheap.请你做Please you do .他告诉我He told me whether她15岁。She is fifteen years age.She is fifteen-year-old.我花10元买了书。I cost/spent 10 yuan to buy the book. 我朋友和我都不知道。Both my friend and I dont know it. 他常教她功课。He often teaches her lessons.教我们语文。 taught our Chinese. 直到我们才去那儿.We went there until. 使我们城市平安protect our city a safe place使门开keep the door opening我建议某人做I suggest sb.to do 付某人钱pay for sb.有许多人。There was a lot of people.9)单词拼写错误错 误 类 型中 文错 误 表 达正 确 表 达 分词误写 （较多）写听意味着发生听见破坏付教英语我伤害了她。writtng listenning It meaned that happend heared destroiedpaiedteached English. I hurted her. 形相近误用表扬机会 累 洪水冰箱 prize, price change,choice, chargetried, tied. blood bridge 语法错误词典第九英雄dictionarys nineth heros 字母颠倒收到相信recieve beleive缺少字母政府幸运地外国人goverment lucklyforegner 自造词(中国式直译较多)电脑钱包冰箱时间表红包长城生病的孩子红茶天天向上黄瓜electric brainmoney bag ice boxtime watchred bagsLong Wallthe ill childred teaday day up yellow melon4.中考中可以使用的谚语（请学生根据实际情况选背） 在中考英语写作中恰当地运用谚语,可以使文章增色不少, 一般一篇文章用上一个即可,如写健康有关的文章可以用As the saying goes, “health is wealth.” 现遴选了部分在中考英语写作可以使用的关于健康、学习、做人、时间、社会等话题常用的容易记忆的谚语，如能背熟，对积累经典句型和写作一定大有裨益。Afallintoapit,againinyourwit. 吃一堑，长一智。 A friend in need is a friend indeed.患难见真情。Agoodbeginningishalfdone. 良好的开端是成功的一半。Agoodbookisagoodfriend. 好书如挚友。 Agoodbookisthebestoffriends,thesametodayandforever. 一本好书，相伴一生。 Agoodmedicinetastesbitter. 良药苦口。 Alittleknowledgeisadangerousthing. 一知半解，自欺欺人。 AllroadsleadtoRome. 条条大路通罗马。 Allthatglittersisnotgold. 闪光的不一定都是金子。 Allthingsaredifficultbeforetheyareeasy. 凡事总是由难而易。 AllworkandnoplaymakesJackadullboy. 只会用功不玩耍，聪明孩子也变傻。 Amanbecomeslearnedbyaskingquestions. 不耻下问才能有学问。 Amancannotspinandreelatthesametime. 一心不能二用。 Amissisasgoodasamile. 失之毫厘，差之千里。 Amothersloveneverchanges. 母爱永恒。 Anappleadaykeepsthedoctoraway. 一天一苹果，不用请医生。 Anhourinthemorningisworthtwointheevening. 一日之计在于晨。 Asamansows,soheshallreap. 种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆。 Asingleflowerdoesnotmakeaspring. 一花独放不是春，百花齐放春满园。 Astitchintimesavesnine. 小洞不补，大洞吃苦。 Awordspokenispastrecalling. 一言既出，驷马难追。 Ayoungidler,anoldbeggar. 少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。 Bloodisthickerthanwater. 血浓于水。 Confidenceinyourselfisthefirststepontheroadtosuccess. 自信是走向成功的第一步。 Constantdrippingwearsawayastone. 水滴石穿，绳锯木断。 Customisasecondnature. 习惯是后天养成的。 Custommakesallthingseasy. 有个好习惯，事事皆不难。 DoastheRomansdo. 入乡随俗。 Doingisbetterthansaying. 与其挂在嘴上，不如落实在行动上。 Donothingbyhalves. 凡事不可半途而废。 Dontputofftilltomorrowwhatshouldbedonetoday. 今日事，今日毕。 Donttroubletroubleuntiltroubletroublesyou. 不要杞人忧天/车到山前必有路。 Earlytobedandearlytorisemakesamanhealthy,wealthyandwise. 早睡早起身体好。 Easiersaidthandone. 说得容易，做得难。 Everymanhashisweakside. 人人都有弱点。 Everymanisthearchitectofhisownfortune. 自己的命运自己掌握。 Everyminutecounts. 分秒必争。 Failureisthemotherofsuccess. 失败是成功之母。 Geniusisnothingbutlaboranddiligence. 天才不过是勤奋而已。 Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves. 自助者天助。 Healthisbetterthanwealth. 健康胜过财富。 Helaughsbestwholaughslast. 谁笑到最后，谁笑得最好。 Hewhodoesnotadvancelosesground. 逆水行舟，不进则退。 Honestyisthebestpolicy. 做人诚信为本。 Industryistheparentofsuccess. 勤奋是成功之母。 Itisnevertoooldtolearn. 活到老，学到老。 Ittakesthreegenerationstomakeagentleman. 十年树木，百年树人。 Knowledgeispower. 知识就是力量。 Liketeacher,likepupil. 什么样的老师教什么样的学生。 Makehaywhilethesunshines. 良机勿失。 Manyhandsmakelightwork. 众人拾柴火焰高。 Manyheadsarebetterthanone. 三个臭皮匠，赛过诸葛亮。 Neverjudgefromappearances. 不可以貌取人。 Neversaydie. 永不言败。 Nevertoooldtolearn,nevertoolatetoturn. 亡羊补牢，为时未晚。 Nocross,nocrown. 不经历风雨，怎么见彩虹。 Nopains,nogains. 没有付出就没有收获。Nothing is difficult if you put your heart into it .世上无难事，只怕有心人。Oneeyewitnessisbetterthantenhearsays. 百闻不如一见。 Pridegoesbefore,andshamecomesafter. 骄傲使人落后。 Promiseisdebt. 一诺千金。 Readingenrichesthemind. 开卷有益。 Rome wasnotbuiltinaday. 冰冻三尺，非一日之寒。 Sayingisonethinganddoinganother. 言行不一。 Seeingisbelieving. 眼见为实。 Successbelongstothepersevering. 坚持就是胜利。 Theearlybirdcatchestheworm. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃。 Therearetwosidestoeveryquestion. 问题皆有两面。 Thereiskindnesstobefoundeverywhere. 人间处处有温情。 Thereisnoplacelikehome. 金窝银窝不如咱的狗窝。 Thereisnoroyalroadtolearning. 书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟。 Theworldisbutalittleplace,afterall. 海内存知己，天涯若比邻。 Thinktwicebeforeyoudo. 三思而后行。 Timeandtidewaitfornoman. 时不我待。 Toknoweverythingistoknownothing. 什么都知道，一如什么都不知道。 Tomorrownevercomes. 我生待明日，万事成蹉跎。 Unityisstrength. 团结就是力量。 Unpleasantadviceisagoo