高考英语情景作文分析.ppt

情景作文 英语书面表达判卷标准 2007年 2008年评分标准均为 1 以要点内容定档次 2 以语言质量定分数 给分档次 一档文 18 20分 二档文 15 17分 三档文 12 14分 四档文 6 11分 五档文 1 5分 六档文 0分 注 情景作文字数少于60 扣 分 情景作文 评卷给分的细节要求 1 阅卷中不要通过找单词去找要点 一定要从上下文来找要点 2 阅卷重点放在用完整 准确的句子去表达思想上 满篇没有正确句子 一样打0分 3 所有要点齐全的进三档 12分以上 要保证要点和细节相互支撑 4 少一个细节的进三档上线 14分 可以视其语言状况 1或 1分 说明该学生最高可得15分 最低可得13分 5 少两个细节进三档下线 12分 可以视其语言状况 1或 1分 说明该学生最高可得13分 最低得11分 6 行文中图的先后顺序有误或人称错误的直接进四档 6 11分 7 文章不能以投放垃圾作为结束 要加上一个合情合理的结尾 否则要在所得分数中扣 1分 8 一档或二档文的确定要依文章的上下文连贯 紧凑 以及语言质量来决定 9 要点和细节可出现在一句话中 10 写落款 题目或称呼的都忽略不计 按照正常情况给分 情景作文 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华 为校刊英语园地写一篇题为 OurSpringOuting 的英文稿件 请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序 叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程 注意 词数不少于60 提示词 游乐园amusementpark垃圾箱bin 情景作文 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华 为校刊英语园地写一篇题为 OurSpringOuting 的英文稿件 请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序 叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程 注意 词数不少于60 提示词 游乐园amusementpark垃圾箱bin 情景作文 内容要点及细节 1 要点 讨论细节 去游乐园 划船 爬山 决定去爬山 情景作文 要点 讨论haveaheateddiscussionaboutwhether discusswhether thereisaheateddiscussionaboutwhether 细节 去游乐园gotoamusementpark 划船goboating 爬山gomountain climbing 决定去爬山decideto gomountain climbing LastweekwehadaheateddiscussionaboutwhetherweshouldgoSpringOutingTherewasaheateddiscussionaboutwhetherweshouldgoSpringouting Lastweek ourclasshadaspringouting whichthewholeclassthinkwasquitemeaningful Lastweek therewasaheated discussiononwheretogoforourspringouting Somestudentswantedtogotoamusementpark someconsideredtogoboatingandothersgavetheirideasforclimbing Eventually wedecidedtotakeaclimb Lastweekourclassorganizedaspringouting Tomakethismemorableactivitymorewonderful wediscussedthedestinationcarefullyandfinallydecidedtogomountain climbinginsteadofotherchoiceslikeplayinginanamusementparkandgoingboating 内容要点及细节 2 要点 爬山细节 携带吃 喝 天气 风景 进行竞赛 看谁先到山顶 情景作文 要点 爬山gomountain climbingclimbthemountaingohikinggoclimbingthemountain 细节 携带吃 喝withfoodanddrinkontheirback 天气ashinydayafinedayanicedayasunnydaythewarmsunshine 风景flowerstreesabeautifulsceneryabeautifulviewabeautifulsight 进行竞赛 看谁先到山顶petewitheachotherinclimbingthemountainfor beincompetitionwitheachotherfor holdamountainclimbingcompetition2 reachthetopofthemountain 内容要点及细节 3 要点 捡拾垃圾 可捡拾自己的也可捡拾别人的 细节 一路走 一路捡 要有对场面的描写 情景作文 3 要点 捡拾垃圾 可捡拾自己的也可捡拾别人的 pickuptherubbishcollecttherubbishgathertherubbish 细节 一路走 一路捡 picktherubbishas while walk 要有对场面的描写1 Wastedbottlesandusedpackageswerethrowneverywhere2 wewereshockedtoseelitterhereandthere suchasbottlesandbananaspeels 内容要点及细节 4 要点 投放垃圾细节 垃圾分类 可回收和不可回收 情景作文 4 要点 投放垃圾1 puttherubbishintothebin2 throwtherubbishintothedustbin3 droptherubbishintothedustbin 细节 垃圾分类 可回收和不可回收1 divide classifythemintotwogroups recycleonesandthenon recycleones 2 puttherubbishintothenearbyrecyclingbinandnon recyclingbinrespectively separately 3 throwalltherubbishintotheproperbins 4 puttherubbishintothebindifferently 语言的变通 思维的活跃 Lastweek thestudentsinmyclassdecidedtogooutforaspringouting Someofuswantedtogototheamusementpark Somewantedtogoboatingandsomewantedtoclimbthemountain Finallywedecidedtoclimbthemountain Iwasashinyday Allofuswerehappy Butwhenwereachedthetopofthemountain Wefoundthatrubbisheverywhere Wepickedtherubbishandthrewthemintothedustbin Ithink weshouldn tthrewtherubbisheverywhereandweshoulddoourbesttoprotecttheenvironment Themorewedo themorebeautifultheearthwillbe 情景作文 第二幅图少要点 第四图少细节 语言表述缺乏准确性和逻辑性 影响了对所写内容的理解 9分 LastweekourClass1Senior3inRedStarHighschoolhadanunusualspringouting Thedaybeforeweleft ourclassmateshadaheateddiscussionaboutthedestinationoftheouting Somestudentssuggestedtheamusementpark whileotherspreferredboatingandmountainclimbing Whenitcametopractice wewerehavingagoodtimeclimbingatlast However atthetopofthemountain wewereangryratherthanshockedtofindoutthatloadsofrubbishwerediscoveredeverywhere Meanwhile itcametoourmindthatwehadtocleanthismessup Thus afterrecyclingtherubbishindifferentbins wewereallverycheerfulthatwenotonlyreturnedthebeautybacktothemountain butalsohadawonderfulspringouting 漏掉了第二幅图这个要点 只能进四档 但其语言较好故 1分 总分为12 情景作文 Lastweek ourclasshadaspringouting whichthewholeclassthinkwasquitemeaningful Whengettingpreparedfortheactivity wehadaheateddiscussionaboutwheretogo Opinionsdividedamongthestudents Somestudentssuggestedwegototheamusementparktogetrelaxed whileothersrecommendedthatwegoboating Finally mostofthestudentsagreedtogohiking Onasunnyday myclassgatheredatthefootofthemountain andeveryonelookedsoexited Whilehikinginthemountain weallhadahappysmile Butwhenreachingthetopofthemountain wearesosurprisedtofindthatlotsofrubbishwasleftthere Thenwedecidedtocollectthemwiththebagswebought Everyonesparednoefforttodoagoodjob Atlast whenwegotdownthemountain wethrewalltherubbishintotheproperbins Howmeaningfulwasourspringouting 情景作文 覆盖了所有的内容要点 但有个别细节缺失 全文行文流畅 内容连贯 有少许错误 14分 Lastweek therewasaheated discussiononwheretogoforourspringouting Somestudentswantedtogotoamusementpark someconsideredtogoboatingandothersgavetheirideasforclimbing Eventually wedecidedtotakeaclimb Thenextday allofuspreparedwell Withourenjoyment eachofusclimbedthemountainfullofenergy However whenwegottothetopofthemountain whatcoveredoureyesfirstwasthemassofrubbish Itwasreallyapitythattherubbishdestroyedabeautifulscenery Atlast wemadeupourmindtopickuptherubbish Afterawhile witheveryone seffort therubbishwasclearedoffimmediatelyandweputthemintotherecycledandunrecycledbins Inmyeyes thisspringoutingnotonlygaveuslotsofpleasure butalsogaveusameaningfullesson Onlytoprotectourenvironment canwegetabeautifulsociety Therefore Ihopeeveryonecanjoinustomakeourhomecleanandtidy 情景作文 覆盖了所有内容要点 语法和用词能够满足任务要求 篇章较为连贯 有少许语言错误 16分 Lastweekourclassorganizedaspringouting Tomakethismemorableactivitymorewonderful wediscussedthedestinationcarefullyandfinallydecidedtogomountain climbinginsteadofotherchoiceslikeplayinginanamusementparkandgoingboating Withhighspirits westartedourspringoutingonafineday Flowerspresenteduswiththeirsweetestsmilesandweweresoakedupinthewarmsunshine However wewereshockedwhenwereachedthetopofthemountain Wastedbottlesandusedpackageswerethrowneverywherewhichtotallyruinedthebeautyofthenature Feelingagreatpityforthetourists wepickeduptherubbishandcarefullydividedthemintotwogroups recycleonesandthenon recycleones Afterthat weputtherubbishintothebindifferently Wecallonawarenessonprotectingourenvironmentwhichisofgreatimportance Thoughclearinguptherubbishwasatoughtask ourheartswerefilledwithjoyandwewillrememberthisoutingforever 内容要点齐全 描述语句丰富 上下文连贯 有效地使用了语句间的链接成分 只有个别用词错误 体现了较强的语言运用能力 19分 情景作文 Inthelastweek teachertellus wewillbegotospringamusement wewereveryhappystudentsthinkswewillgotopark Ithasmouter hill river boatandsoon Wewereaskedonnoon Thelastiscomeon Tomorrow teacherandusgonetoamusementpark wewereplayedveryhappyweweregonetherethatwewerewenttogoto Monter Hill river boat Inthenoon wewerehavefood weallkindsoffood Weareverylikethen Intheafternoon Wewillgooutcomebackwewereouthadfoodgotothebin Wewereveryhappycomeback 0分 情景作文 Possibleversion LastThursday wehadaclassmeetingtodiscusswheretogoforourspringouting Wecameupwithseveralchoices suchasgoingboating climbingamountain andgoingtoanamusementpark Finallywedecidedtogomountainclimbing Thenextday wesetoffearlyinthemorning whileclimbingthemountain weenjoyedthewarmsunshineandabeautifulview However whenwereachedthetop wewereshockedtoseelitterhereandthere suchasbottlesandbananaspeels Thenwestartedtopickupthelitter Afterwards weputtherubbishintothenearbyrecyclingbinandnon recyclingbinrespectively Weweretiredbuthappy 情景作文出现的主要问题 1 审题不仔细 漏掉要点 2 缺乏细节观念 不能使文章衔接紧密 3 人称和时态观念差 文章直接降档 4 语言基本功差 漏洞百出 5 缺乏交际观念 很难出色地完成写作任务 情景作文 总复习看图类作文P210 1 Picture1要点 1 pay makeavisittoChina2 beonavisittoChina3 haveatriptoChina4 goonavisitto 细节 难 gototheGreatWallgotonthetaxitalkwithmealongwayfrom getthereclimbtheGreatWall Picture2要点 losemypurse 细节 lookforthepursewonderwhere beworriedleaveitonthetaxi Picture3要点 telephonethetaxicompany 细节 难 1 receivethecall2 checkmynameandeverythinginmypurse3 leavethepurseonthetaxifortme turnitin senditto Picture4要点 感谢thankyoufor 细节 Notatall bemovedbetouchedfeelhappy IhavejustpaidavisittoChina WhenIgotthere whatimpressedmemostwasnotonlythebeautifulscenerybutalsothehonestpeople IwenttotheGreatWallonedaybytaxi HardlyhadIgotonthetaxiwhenthedriverstartedtalkingwithmeinEnglish ItwasalongwayfromthecityofBeijingandIttookmeaboutonehourtoarrivethere IwassoamazedatseeingitthatIcouldn thelpstartingtoclimbit forgettingalmosteverything IlostmyselfinsuchawonderfulWall Intheafternoon IwasabouttogobacktomyhotelwhenIfoundthatmypursewaslost Iwasworriedandlookedforithereandthere butIcouldn tfindit SuddenlyIrememberedIhadleftitonthetaxi Withthehelpofawarm heartedman Iimmediatelytelephonedthetaxicompany Theman clerk staff whoreceivedthecall checkedmynameandeverything Hecomfortedme sayingthatthedriverhadturneditinandthathewouldhaveitsenttomyhotelassoonaspossible WhenIgotbackmypurse IwassotouchedthatIthankedtheclerkverymuch IhavehadsuchawonderfultimetherethatIwillneverforgetmyexperienceinChina 写文章一定要有结尾 08西城抽样4月一模 Picture1要点 gather meetattheschoolgateandsetoutbybile 细节 1 Withacamera notebooksandbottlesofwaterinourbackpacks2 场面描写behappy Picture2要点 searchformistakes mistranslatedorincorrectlyspeltEnglishonstreetsigns 细节 1 tookpicturesof2 tooknotesofthesigns3 场面描写Abusy butdelightfulmorning Picture3要点 discussandcheck correct 细节 难 1 writethewrongsentencesontheblackboard presentallthemistakesinclass pupwiththecorrecttranslation3 WiththehelpofourEnglishteacher4 puttheincorrectsentencesintothecorrectones Picture4要点 telltheeditorsaboutwhatwehavefound ourfindings 细节 1 writetothenewspaper2 hopeoureffortwillbeofsomehelptotheBeijingOlympics 回到主题 注意 要有结尾 DearPeter Howarethingsgoing WehavebeenbusypreparingforthecomingOlympicsrecently LastSundaywehadanactivity tosearchformistranslatedorincorrectlyspeltEnglishonstreetsigns EarlyinthemorningmyclassmatesandIgatheredattheschoolgate Withacamera notebooksandbottlesofwaterinourbackpacks wesoonsetoutonourdetectivetripbybike Nosoonerhadwereachedourdestinationthanwebegantodevoteourselvestoworking Inthestreet someofustookpictureswhileotherstooknotesofthesignswethoughtwerewrongorquestionable Abusy butdelightfulmorningsoonpassed IntheEnglishclassnextmorning wepresentedinclassallthemistakescollectedincluding WellcometoBeijing and TakeNoticeofSafe WiththehelpofourEnglishteacherwehadaheateddiscussionaboutwherethemistakeslieinandfinallywecametoaconclusionthatthecorrecttranslationshouldbelike WelcometoBeijing and Caution etc Thenwewrotetothenewspaperandtoldtheeditorsaboutwhatwehadfound WehopeoureffortwillbeofsomehelptotheBeijingOlympics WeweretiredbuthappybecausewenotonlyimprovedourEnglishlevelbutalsomadealittlecontributiontotheOlympics YoursLiHua DearPeter Howarethingsgoing WehavebeenbusypreparingforthecomingOlympicsrecently LastSundaywehadanactivity tosearchformistranslatedorincorrectlyspeltEnglishonstreetsigns EarlyinthemorningmyclassmatesandIgatheredattheschoolgate Withacamera notebooksandbottlesofwaterinourbackpacks wesoonsetoutonourdetectivetripbybike Inthestreet someofustookpictureswhileotherstooknotesofthesignswethoughtwerewrongorquestionable Abusy butdelightfulmorningsoonpassed IntheEnglishclassnextmorning wepresentedinclassallthemistakescollectedincluding WellcometoBeijing and TakeNoticeofSafe WiththehelpofourEnglishteacherwediscussedandfinallycampupwiththecorrecttranslation WelcometoBeijing and Caution etc Thenwewrotetothenewspaperandtoldtheeditorsaboutourfindings WehopeoureffortwillbeofsomehelptotheBeijingOlympics YoursLiHua DearPeter Howarethingsgoing WehavebeenbusypreparingforthecomingOlympicsrecently LastSundaywehadanactivity tosearchformistranslatedorincorrectlyspeltEnglishonstreetsigns EarlyinthemorningmyclassmatesandIgatheredattheschoolgate Withacamera notebooksandbottlesofwaterinourbackpacks wesoonsetoutonourdetectivetripbybike Nosoonerhadwereachedourdestinationthanwebegantodevoteourselvestoworking Inthestreet someofustookpictureswhileotherstooknotesofthesignswethoughtwerewrongorquestionable Abusy butdelightfulmorningsoonpassed IntheEnglishclassnextmorning wepresentedinclassallthemistakescollectedincluding WellcometoBeijing and TakeNoticeofSafe WiththehelpofourEnglishteacherwehadaheateddiscussionaboutwherethemistakeslieinandfinallywecametoaconclusionthatthecorrecttranslationshouldbelike WelcometoBeijing and Caution etc Thenwewrotetothenewspaperandtoldtheeditorsaboutwhatwehadfound WehopeoureffortwillbeofsomehelptotheBeijingOlympics YoursLiHua 形成练习unit6 IwashavinganEnglishclasswhentheearthquakehappened AsIwassittingnearthedoor Iwasabletoescape Injustasecond allthehousesaroundfelldowntothegroundandthefive storiedschoolbuildingwasinruins Feelingsoalone helplessandfrightened Iwastotallyindespair Therescuegrouparrived TheymadeeveryefforttosavethestudentsburiedintheruinsandIdidmybesttoassistthem Thefewdaysoftherescueworkenabledmetoquicklygrowup Isawandexperiencedwhatwastheworst oneofthebiggestearthquakesinhumanhistoryandwhatwasthemostdear thelovebetweenourhumanpeople Now withthesupportandaidofthewholenation wearerebuildingourhometown Ibelievethattherebuiltnewhomewillbeevenbetterthanthedestroyedone IwashavinganEnglishclasswhentheearthquakehappened As