gre北美范文满分范文

gregre北美范文满分范文北美范文满分范文 gre北美范文满分范文下面是一篇GRE官方给出满分的ARGUMENT范文 我们来一起赏析 看看它为何能scored six 先读文章 再看我的点评 The followingappeared aspart of an articlein adaily newspaper Most panieswould agreethat as the riskof physical injury ourringon thejob increases the wagespaid toemployees shouldalso increase Hence it makes financial sense for employers to make the workplace safer they couldthus reducetheir payroll expenses andsave money Discuss howwell reasonedyou findthis argument In yourdiscussion besure toanalyze theline ofreasoning andthe useof evidencein the argument For example you mayneed toconsider whatquestionable assumptionsunderlie thethinking and what alternativeexplanations orcounterexamples mightweaken theconclusion You canalso discusswhat sortof evidencewould strengthenor refutetheargument what changesin theargument wouldmake itmore logicallysound andwhat if anything would helpyou betterevaluate itsconclusion 北美GRE范文首段This argumentstates that itmakesfinancial senseforemployersto makethe workplace safer becauseby making the workplace safer thenlower wagescould bepaid toemployees This conclusionis basedon thepremise that as thelist ofphysicalinjuryincreases the wagespaid toemployees shouldalso increase Howeveer there areseveral assumptionsthat may not necessarilyapply tothis argument For example the costsassociated withmaking the workplacesafemust outweighthe increasedpayrollexpensesdue tohazardous conditions Also one mustlook atthe plausability of improvingthe work environment And finally because mostpanies agreethatas the riskof injuryincreases sowill wagesdoesn t necessarilymean thatthe allpanies whichhave hazardouswork environmentsagree 北美GRE作文范文中间段1The firstissue to be addressedis whetherincreased laborcosts justifylarge capitalexpenditures to improve the work environment Clearly onecould arguethat if makingthe workplacesafe would costan exorbitantamount of money inparison toleaving the workplace asis andpaying slightlyincreased wagesthan it would not make sense to improve thework environment For example ifmakingtheworkplacesafewouldcost 100million versusadditional payrollexpenses ofonly 5 000per year itwouldmake financial sensetosimply paythe increasedwages No businessor businessowner withany sensewould payall thatextra moneyjust tosave acouple dollarsand improveemployee health and relations To considerthis a cost benefit analysismust be made I alsofeel thatalthough acostbenefitanalysis shouldbe the determining factor with regard to thesedecisions makingfinancial sense it maynot be thedeterminingfactorwithregardtomaking social moral andethical sense 北美GRE范文中间段2This argumentalso relieson theidea thatpanies solelyuse financial sense inanalysing improvingtheworkenvironment This isnot thecase Companies lookat otherconsiderations suchasthenegative social ramifications ofhigh on job injuries For example Toyota spendslarge amountsofmoneyimproving itsenvironment becausewhile itsgoal istobeprofitable it alsoprides itselfon highemployee moraleand analmost perfectlysafe workenvironment However Toyota findsthatitcan doboth as byimproving employeehealthandemployee relationsthey areguaranteed a more motivatedstaff and henceamoreefficient staff this guaranteesmore moneyfor thebusiness aswell asmore safetyfor theemployees 北美GRE写作范文中间段3Finally onemust understandthat notall workenvironments canbe madesafer For example in thecase ofcoal mining a panyonly haslimited waysof makingtheworkenvironment safe While paniesmay beable toensure somesafety precautions they maynot beable toprovide allthe safetymeasures necessary In otherwords a miningpany haslimited abilityto controlthe airquality withina coal mine andtherefore itcannot controlthe riskof employeesgetting blacklung In otherwords regardless of the intentof thepany some jobsare simplydangerous innature 北美GRE范文末端In conclusion while atfirst itmay seemtomakefinancialsenseto improvethe safetyoftheworkenvironmentsometimes ittruly doesnotmakefinancialsense Furthermore financialsensemaynotb etheonly issuea panyfaces Other typesof analysesmust bemade suchasthesocialramificationsofanunsafe workenvironment andthe overallabilityofa panytoimprovethat environment i e coalmine Before anydecision ismade all thisthings mustbe considered not simplythe reductionof payrollexpenses GRE这篇官方钦定满分的范文 其最明显的优点在 于1 字数高达599words GRE充分体现了字数为王的判分倾向 2 标准的五段制 首段 GRE末端 中间三段 看上去很美 3 没有陈词滥调 GRE满篇废话的模板式语言 只有以上三点离满分还是很远的 GRE之所以SIX 我看更重要的在 于 每段各尽其责 既独立又统一 形成了完整的ARGUMENT speci fically 1 首段再现了原TOPIC的推理过程 GRE并指出其assumptio ns多有不适 尤其令阅卷人高兴的是首段在最后简化罗列了推理中的 三个问题 要知道美国人就喜欢的作文 总分式 在首段就把三个ideas罗列出来 然后在中间三段分别展开 先总后分 一目了然 2 中一的TS The firstissue tobe addressedis whetherincreased laborcosts justifylarge capitalexpenditures toimprovetheworkenvironment 可谓是一针见血 一剑封喉 对于这样严重的推理漏洞 如果不首先指出 其argument必然软弱 乏力 此所谓Topic中的 必削点 不可不察 3 中二的TS This argumentalso relieson theidea thatpanies solelyuse financialsense inanalysing improvingtheworkenvironment 这可谓是剑走偏锋 独辟蹊径 出人所料 文章竟然批评了Topic以钱为本经营理念 提出了要以人为本 这样 写是有一定风险 毕竟这不是Issue 那本文是如何化险为夷的呢 且看本段最后一句 this guaranteesmore moneyfor thebusiness aswell asmore safetyfor theemployees 我不由得长舒一口 人家再次回归了 又回到了To pic中以 Money 为本的推理 4 中三的TS Finally onem