商务英语考试BEC备考辅导你写我改：BEC名师评点网友作文122

你写我改 BEC 名师评点网友作文 2 张梦琳老师对本期网友作文总体点评 大部分同学的问题比较集中 1 审题不细致 题目没有要求的 写了很多 这就浪费了篇幅 2 句子顾前不顾后 前后时态 时间矛盾 3 词汇基本功有待加强 4 没有商务背景 作文中的句子空洞 没有实际意义 5 用了很多主观态度的句子 本期作文范文参考 Report on staff recruitment As our company is developing several new products the department of R D needs new staff urgently to help design and monitor our products Thus we need to recruit 35 new staff including electrical engineers and product developers All of them should have at least two years experience in relevant field More specific requirements will finally be decided in a few days As to recruitment methods the disadvantage of relying on recruitment agency is that we need more time and procedure than we can afford So I suggest we turn to a more direct way of Newspaper advertisement which has been used many times and proved effective Comparing the two newspaper Echo and Chronicle we prefer the former because though it charges 500 more than the latter the general readers are 400 000 more most of whom are highly educated We are sure to get reply soon after we launch the recruitment campaign 网友作文一 As the new project will be set off this year our department needs to recruit 35 new emplyees 1 The new staffs 2 shall have ability including innovation teamwork hard working goo manner 3 There exists three ways to recruit new staffs 2 Newspaper Echo advertisments Recurimet agency Online recuriment All of them have its advantages and disadvantages so we shall use all of them to assure high qualified staffs can see the information 4 For the Recuriment agency the efficiency is low but it probably can offer good 5 qulified people WHy i chose echo instead of Chronic as it has much more readers with only five hundred dollors higher 1 拼写是 BEC 作文中很重要的给分原则 2 基本词汇不过关 staff 是集合名词 不用复数 3 这看起来是招聘广告上的东西吧 很抽象 审题要看懂要求 what type of staff 是 指要招聘什么部门的员工 4 废话一句 可以去掉 题目要求是写出 recruitment agency 的缺点 当然任何一种招 聘方式都各有优缺 所以直接写 disadvantage 5 去掉 形容词怎么能修饰形容词 网友作文二 Dear Paddy 1 Now our company has already put into a right path I think 2 we should build an 3 complete organization in order to lead our company to obtain better and longer development 4 So we need recruite 35 new staff allocated in 4 departments Please check the following list Dept No Duty Personnel Dept 2 Staff Management Marketing Dept 5 Marketing research and plan QC Dept 5 Control the quality of products Sales Dept 20 Product promotion in domestic International business Dept 3 Product promotion overseas 5 Regarding with possible recruitment methods there are the following three 1 Recruitment agency The method is the best popular way in market But considering that the cost is much higher I don t suggest we adopt it 2 Newspaper advertisement It is a economical method compared with the first one Though we used many times before it also could enlarges the popalarity of our company 3 Online recruitment 6 It is the best economical method But it has large limits And couldn t have the interview face to face So after the comparison I think the second way is most suitable for us Now I have two choice in Newspaper One is Echo the other is Chronicle Numbers sold each day of Echo is 600 000 and cost of advertisement is just 2500 But The numbers sold each day of Chronicle is 200 000 less than the first and cost of 2000 is not cheap Echo could let more readers know this recruition of our company lSo Echo is our best choice How about your consider