GRE(Issue)全部满分官方范文分析

第一篇文章第一篇文章 Both the development of technological tools and the uses to which humanity has put them have created modern civilizations in which loneliness is ever increasing 题目分析 核心概念是技术的发展 人们如何利用这些发展 实际上就是人们如何面对它 这两点如何在社会中影响 题目给出了讨论方向 即要考虑到人们在科技的影响下越来越孤 独的问题 题目限定了时间范围是当代 注 深红色深红色的字代表论点性语言 是文章论证的核心论证的核心 其中的关键字我用粗体表示 实际上 文章的观点只用这些深红色的字就够了 不信的话大家可以把所有深红色的字提出来 全文 的脉络就清晰可辨了 如同人的脊梁骨 黑色的字代表支撑论点支撑论点的语言 这里有些是例证 有些是推理证明 个别的有指路标性质的文字我加粗了 黑色字的作用是使文章更佳的丰满 让人信服 推理证明就像骨头 小骨头非脊梁骨 例证就像是肉 最终组成了有血有肉的 文章 Technology broadly defined as the use of tools has a long history Ever since Erg the caveman first conked an animal with a rock people have been using technology For thousands of years the use of tools allowed people to move ever closer together Because fields could be cultivated and the technology to store food existed people would live in cities rather than in small nomadic tribes 前面的几句话都是在介绍大的背景 即技术在现在这样的社会中有哪些影响 这很明显是在 点题目中的 modern civilizations 很好的介绍了文章所限制的范围有哪些特点 从文字上 来看 黑色的句子与棕色的句子的意思是完全一样的 区别就是一个更加抽象 一个更加具 体 后者是通过具体的例子来解释前者的 这两者都是必不可少的 我们在写作文的时候是 不是会忘记写两者中的其中一部分呢 Only very lately have Erg s descendants come to question the benefits of technology 这个 very lately 用的很好 第一它再一次的点题了 很好 的紧扣题目 第二它与第一句话中所介绍出来的背景遥相呼应 使得前后的连接很顺当 本 句以及以后几句就开始提出与第一句话相反的意见了 但是只是将现象提出来 并没有具体 展开任何观点 The Industrial Revolution introduced and spread technologies that mechanized many tasks As a result of the drive toward more efficient production and distribution so the ever larger cities would be supported people began to act as cogs in the technological machine Clothing was no longer produced by groups of women sewing and gossiping together but by down trodden automation s operating machinery in grim factories 开头段分为两个部分 一部分写优点 后一部分转而写有质疑 很好的暗示了文章的结构 我们可以清晰地知道作者的思路 并期 待他在后面进行展开 并且通过细节处比如修饰语中的扣题 使得文章很好的紧扣题目 没 有任何模版的痕迹 The benefits of the new technology of today computers and the internet are particularly ambiguous They have made work ever more efficient and knit the world together in a web of information and phone lines Some visionaries speak of a world in which Erg need not check in to his office he can just dial in from home He won t need to go to a bar to pick up women because there are all those chat rooms Hungry Erg orders his groceries from an online delivery service Bored Download a new game And yet 本段第一句话质疑质疑科技带来的好处 这一句话引领出 本段以及下一段 可以看作是一个过渡句 这里文章与开头段落的衔接非常好 我们看 ambiguous 不正是照应了 question 吗 正是因为 ambiguous 人们才会 question 阿 本段的主 题句实际上是第二句话 强调了科技的好的地方 使效率更高 人们之间的联系更加紧密了 后面的四个例子分别证明了这一点 这里 有一点我想说的 就是关于例子的使用 在 awintro 中明确说了要怎么用例子来支持观点 要么用几个例子 要么用一个可以延伸的例 子 我们看这篇文章 Erg 这个词的频繁使用 这样的一个无限延伸的大例子不正是使文章连 贯 论证有力的法宝吗 同时 本段最后用了四个事例 实际上都是用 erg 给串连起来的 也包括下一段 安排的顺序 事业 朋友 生存 娱乐 一步一步地指向个人的内心世 界 人的精神层面 Many people myself included are a little queasy about that vision Erg may be doing work but is it real work Are his online friends real friends Does anything count in a spiritual way if it s just digital 本段主要讲科技进步的负面 与上一段首句相照应 很好的承接了上一段落的内容 同时 在例子论证方面 与上一段的每一个点都有照应 一步一步的将上一段质疑 这种釜 底抽薪的质疑使得上一段看似很牛的证明崩溃 同志们看出来本文这种可延伸的一个大例子 的威力了吧 在证明过程中那么的有力 在反驳过程中那么的彻底 而且连成一串使得总效 果增加不少 这比单独的列几个不相干的例子要有效的多 Since the Industrial Revolution we have been haunted by the prospect that we are turning into our machines efficient productive soulless The newest technologies we fear are making us flat as our screens turning us into streams of bits of interchangeable data We may know a lot of people but we have few real friends We have a lot of things to do but no reason to do them 上面两句都是对上面棕红色字的解释 并且是从不同层面的进行的刻画 第一句是对上一句的 efficient productive 的解释 其中 we fear 不正是对应了 haunt 吗 第二句是对应于 soulless 的解释 其中第二句是重点 因为 下一自然段讨论的就是他 In short the new technology emphasizes a spiritual crisis that has been building for quite some time 这一句话既是总结了上面所有的关于现状的描述 同时 也 作为承上启下的过度句 逐步地将讨论深化至精神层面 从而自然的引出下一段作者自己的 观点 As I try to unravel which I believe about the relative merits of technology I think it is instructive to remember technology s original result 前两段都是作者分析现有的情况 分析题目中所给 出的条件 而这一段则是作者提出自己的观点 并且使得文章的论述深入到本质 实际上这 个就是作者的立场 这样的定立场的方式很好啊 第二段第三段分别分析了原文的立场和反 对原文的立场 可是作者并没有同意任何一个 也没有部分同意 本段从科技本质出发 倾 向于说科技的不好 但是不带批评色彩 很聪明的另辟蹊径 指向本源 这就避免了冲突 显出自己的睿智 A better plow meant easier farming more food longer lives and more free time to pursue other things such as art Our newest technology does not give us more free time it consumes our free time 这两句话是一层 通过 plow 的例子解释了本质 前一句举出事实 后一句进行分析 指出本质是占用了我们的空闲时间 直接指向科技的本质 正如最后一段 说的 这本质就是科技与生活的失衡 We are terminally distracted from confronting ourselves or each other We stay safe and lonely in our homes and offices rather than taking the risk of meeting real people or trying new things 这两句话是第二层 说明我们相互之间缺少了 沟通和交流 直接指向科技的本质 正如最后一段说的 这本质就是科技与生活的失衡 While I am certainly not a Luddite I do believe we need to look for a bit more balance between technology and life 本句话是全文的中心 前面几段都是铺垫 先说科技好和不好的方面 然后指向本质 本段不仅点出本质 而且给出了进一步的解决思路 打个比方 这样的论 证方式就像是老师去差学生家访 先说 你这孩子挺爱劳动的啊是个好孩子 然后说 可是 学习怎么那么差呢怎么老爱打架呢 最后说本质 老赵阿其实我知道你工作太忙了 又要评 职称又要炒股票没工夫顾孩子 不过为了孩子 还是多抽出点时间关心下吧 这样的论证 结构下来 从表及内 让人感觉很有说服力 We have to tear ourselves away from the fatal distractions and go out into the world Technology has given us long lives and endless supplies of information Now we need to apply that information use the time we re not spending conking our dinner with a club and find our reasons for living 最后给出了建议 具体的支撑了如何 balance 科技与生活 仔细看这三句不正是三段论吗 大前提小前提结论 COMMENTARY This outstanding response displays cogent reasoning insightful persuasive analysis and superior control of language The essay immediately identifies the complexities of the issue and then playfully explores both the benefits and the drawbacks of technological developments over the course of human history The writer maintains that a balance between technology and life is necessary if humans are going to abate the loneliness that is part of modern existence 第二篇文章第二篇文章 The medias books film music television for example tend to create rather than reflect the values of a society 6 For our grandparents it occurred through films and books For the baby boomers it was a result of television and revolutionary music No matter how the impact took place it is clear that since its very advent the media have played a crucial role in not simply being representative of the values of our society but creating them as well 前面两句话提出了背景对于不同的人 也暗示 后面的论证入手点 即时间顺序 第三句提出了论点 后面的官方评语赞扬这样的立场有足 够的复杂性 同时在官方的 Awintro 中我们也可以多次看到 官方要求我们提出的观点要越 复杂越好 其实很多时候我们的想法确实很复杂 但是关键得让人一眼就能看出来复杂啊 这里作者用的 not simply 就强烈的心理暗示了考官他所提出的观点是复杂的 During the roaring twenties Americans found themselves in a struggle between the old ways of their ancestors and the new ways of the future The once steadfast beliefs that men and women should not touch while dancing and that ladies should not drink or smoke were suddenly being challenged From where was all this rebellion stemming Partly it was due to the returning doughboys from the shores of Europe bringing home revolutionary ideas they had encountered while at war 前面都是演绎背景 说明变化有多么的大 这里看似是对于全文的论述没有多 少的作用 但是这里的说明是很有必要的 因为只有先强调了变化有多么的大 然后再把原 因归咎于媒体上 才能突出媒体的作用多么的大 就好像我们想和别人说我们考了 gre 多么 牛的时候 总是先要强调 gre 考试多么的难多么的变态 然后再说我们已经搞定了他 这样 给人感觉就是更加的牛 另一方面 上面在最后给出了一种的解释 然后在下面又予以分析 并提出了媒体作为更加重要的原因 这样的论证方式让人感觉很有一种讨论的气氛 我们先 假设了一种答案 然后并不是完全否认他 而是提出了一个更为完美的解释 潜在的作者的 思维方式是 作者认为他如果单纯写媒体是主要的方式 会被读者轻易的用回归士兵来反驳 所以作者就先发制人 先提出了他因 然后自己分析回答 作者并不完全否定 而是稍加肯 定后 再提出自己的更为好的答案 这样作者的论证就显得天衣无缝了 Nonetheless returning soldiers could not be held responsible for the social upheaval that America experienced There had to be another cause and there was the media 本句话通过分析回归士 兵 进而提出了作者自己的观点 即媒体作为社会剧变的主要因素 Although the films of the era were silent they spoke volumes to the society for which they were created Women in these movies wore their hemlines a few inches shorter than the decade before them and they wore cosmetics to accentuate their new bobbed haircuts 这里给出了具体的事例 给 although 这一句 话具体的解释 即画面本身也暗示了很多东东 The movies as well as the books of that era demonstrated a new materialistic attitude that America had never before experienced Films portrayed every character as having the money to buy a new car drink smoke and partake in the leisure s of life a philosophy that was soon adopted by the youth of the decade 这里给出了具体的 事例 给出了上一句话具体的解释 即电影体现出了人们对物质的价值观 The use of the media in the twenties was to serve as a catalyst for the revolutionary ideas that were circulating 这一句话总结了本段的观点 即在二十世纪媒体促进了社会价值观的变革 The films and books of that era sped America along its path of change that eventually led to the greatest social unrest that the United States had ever known 这一句话写了不好的一面 即社会的动荡 这样 的论证使得作者的思路很辩证 有好有坏 不是一味的赞扬 Unlike the twenties the sixties and seventies utilized the media in a way that appealed to those searching for truth in a lost and confused world 这里从另一个时间点来论证了媒体的作用 本段强调媒体帮助我们了解真相 官方 AWINTRO 告诉我们 对于一个题目要应用到不同 的领域去 不同的方面去 这里我们就看出来了作者的思路的灵活性 通过应用于不同的时 间点来分析媒体对于人们生活的影响 从而最后得出媒体是更多的创造价值观 Martin Luther King Jr realized the impact of the media on society during his campaign for civil rights King urged his followers to withstand any abuse that they might encounter because the media will take their peacefulness into the homes of their society 马丁如何利用媒体 By doing so King successfully began to change the traditional view of race Americans began to sympathize with the protesters because of the undeserved turmoil they faced at the hands of the government 利用媒体后 达到了什么效果 As a result America relinquished the Jim Crow laws and saw many other groups press for their individual rights as well Television cameras rolled as Cesar Chavez organized the migrant workers in California and as Bella Abzug and Gloria Steinham linked arms to protest the lack of women s rights 同样的做法 还有那些成功的案例 这些案例有什 么深远的意义 经过以上三层的阐述 层层深入 不断地指向媒体让我们了解事实真相这件 事的本质 本段很好的证明了作者的观点 正是由于本段中提到的这些积极效果 才说明了 媒体确实是创造了价值 有切实的作用 While the media helped to shape some attitudes about racism and gender it also helped to uncover the truth behind government lies 这就是本文的结尾 确实是没说完 是个烂尾工程 government lies 明显就是需要进一步展开的 需要完整的一段证明的 从这里我们能体会到 aw 考试的本质 就是看看我们是否有分析的能力 前面的论述已经展示了作者的能力 所 以后面的也就不需要了 ETS 考察的不是作品 而是写作品的人 它要通过文章看看我们行 不行 既然在前面已经看到了 后面就不用管了 打个比方 有些人 我们和他说一两句话 就能迅速知道这个人牛不牛 尤其是有的人说出一句话出来我们就知道这个人与众不同 同 样的 ETS 就是想知道我们牛不牛 而不是文章如何 但是这一切的前提是我们在前面已经 把重要的东西展示出来了 本文已经在第一段就清楚的说出了作者的立场 后面也给出了清 楚的证明 同学们 这给了我们什么启示呢 一定要高度重视文章的前面的部分 要把最精 深的东西最牛的东西 最清晰地分析放在最前面 第三篇文章 Our declining environment may bring the people of the world together as no politician philosopher or war ever could Environmental problems are global in scope and respect no nation s boundaries Therefore people are faced with the choice of unity and cooperation on the one hand or disunity and a common tragedy on the other 6 Cooperation or Tragedy The solution to the world s growing environmental problems may have to wait awhile It has been said that environmental problems are global and respect no nation s boundaries Unfortunately pollution and its consequences still fall to large measure on those least likely to do anything about it poor countries willing to sacrifice anything in order to sit at the table with the world s wealthy 本段首句提出观点 解决环境问题还需要稍事等待 这里的立场其实还是很不好理 解的 关键就是 awhile 这个词的理解 根据 AHD 字典的解释 For a short time 可以看出 作者的意思是需要等待 但不能等待太久 一小会就够 第二句话提出了题目的观点 第三 句话实际上是分析第二句话 指出题目中的现实情况 large measure 是与 awhile 相对应的 实际情况是要等很长时间 作者观点是等一下下就行了 这就是对比 这就是需要论证的地 方 说实话 本题的作者的观点并不容易轻易地看出来 关键就是弄清 awhile 这个词的准 确含义 As far as the industrialized nations of the world are concerned the world is a big place Environmental destruction taking place outside their borders may sometimes be fodder for government pronouncements of concern but few concrete actions 本段是分析现实情况 指 出现在的国家采取的具体措施太少 这里值得注意的就是本段回应了题目的第一句话 题目 说可以淡化国界 这里就从现实出发 首先让步性的肯定了对于别国的事情会有关心 然后 指出不会具体干涉 并在后面给出了事例的证明 Deforestation of the Amazon for instance is of vital concern to all those who wish to continue breathing But the only effective deterrent to this activity the restriction of international aid money to those countries showing net deforestation has been stalled in the United Nations by those unwilling to interfere in the internal politics of other nations Because of the differential impact of polluting activities around the world and even in different regions of a single country many governments will undoubtedly continue to promulgate only modest environmental regulations 本段说具体的措施过于温和 本段与上一段的内在逻辑 联系为 上一段说措施很少 本段说即使有 也过于温和 并在后面给出了具体的解释 为 什么温和 同样在本句话前半句也给出了解释 即地区国家的不同会使得措施不力 这样就 一共有两种解释 Costs to polluting companies will continue to carry as much weight as the benefit of a pollution free environment Particularly in the current political climate of the United States the well documented expense of today s pollution control measures will be stacked against the unknown long term effects of polluting actitivities 本句话具体解释了在何时温和 由于那些 长期影响的措施的力度不及短期影响的措施的力度 所以长期影响的措施显得有些温和了 并且在后面给出了引用的话来作为证明 作者引用的这句话很好 因为这句话本身就能充分 的解释上述观点 这就给我们找例子提供了一条思路 即先想好并写好论证语言 然后再把 它括起来 说是某个人说的 这样使得我们的文章看上去很生动避免了大段的说理 同时又 能把事情给说清楚 Why should I spend millions of dollars a year which causes me to have to raise the cost of my goods or eliminate jobs if no one really knows if air pollution is all that harmful Show me the proof an air polluting company may demand 从上一段到这一段 内在 的联系是十分紧密的 仔细揣摩 这里的论证方式就是具体 具体 再具体 像是一个放大镜 一样一步一步让我们看到我们关心的细节 先分析了有多少措施 有分析了这些措施里有多 少是有用的 从而彻底的论证了目前的情况 让读者清楚的看到目前的现状 那就是 目前 的情况不容乐观 Realistically it won t be until critical mass is achieved that the hoped for choice of unity and cooperation will be a viable one 这里实际上还是就着上一段中的长期效应来说的 作者从 这里入手 提出了我们不应该忽略长期效应 并在本段后面解释了为什么不能忽略长期效应 Only when the earth as a whole is so polluted that life itself becomes increasingly difficult for a majority of the world s people will there likely be the political will to force global environmental laws on governments worldwide 这是目前的现状 即没有大的灾难政府不会出资 But the optimists read environmental activists among us continue to believe that the world can be shown the error of its ways They continue to point out that the sky is probably falling or at least developing a big hole The world as a whole ignores them 这几句话指出了其实现在问题已经在 越来越严重了 我们并没有意识到这种严重 实际上大的灾难正在一步一步向我们逼近 并 且从某些角度上来说灾难已经来临 如臭氧空洞 从而证明了段首句 One would hope however that governments perhaps through a strengthened U N could somehow be forced to realize that when the Earth reaches the critical mass of pollution it may be too late to do anything about it That would be a common tragedy indeed 最后一段指出了我们不能忽略 语言用的很好 这样的语言用法强调了不能忽略 并呼吁我们要重视长期的效应 和第一段 的立场结合起来 就是我们要采取行动了 不能等太久 同学们 这篇文章其实思路非常清 楚 就是先用放大镜从错综复杂的现实中逐步逐步的找到问题的关键所在 即长期效应没有 给与充分的重视 然后再最后两段里指出了现在的认识是错误的 我们要给与足够的重视 从而又回归原题宗旨 总的思路就是缩缩 缩缩 放放 放放 COMMENTARY This excellent response displays an in depth analysis of the issue and superior facility with language While acknowledging that environmental problems are serious and of global dimensions the essay explores the complexity of international cooperation Such cooperation the essay argues runs into a variety of problems and the writer offers persuasive examples to support that point the unwillingness of nations to interfere with other nations through political measures such as restriction of foreign aid inadequate environmental regulations which are caused both by the differential impact of polluting activities between countries and regions and by the difficulty of comparing the long term effects of polluting activities with the more easily documented short term costs of reducing pollution The essay distinguishes itself in part by its excellent organization The first paragraph analyzes the claim and announces the writer s position the second and third paragraphs provide clear examples supporting that position The skillful use of a quotation from a business person vividly illustrates the economic impact of pollution controls The last two paragraphs bring a sense of closure to the essay by continuing the theme announced in the first paragraph that cooperation must wait until more dire circumstances produce the political will necessary to reduce pollution The essay exhibits superior control of grammar and syntax with only minor errors Transitional phrases because however for instance help guide the reader through the argument Also effective sentence variety and the use of precise word choice help confirm the score of 6 第四篇文章 Sample Issue Topic In our time specialists of all kinds are highly over rated We need more generalists people who can provide broad perspectives 注 这篇文章我就不作分析了 因为本文是大家最喜欢分析的文章 所以网友们已经有了很 多很多的分析版本 已经差不多把这篇文章的亮点都说出来了 我就尽量简单的分析 详细 的大家可以看看后面的牛人前辈的分析 Benchmark 6 In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists 首段给出了作者的态度 平 衡观点 前面的状语貌似是废话 但是通过分词结构很好的暗示了后文的论证方向 即生活 精神 Specialists are necessary in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media 正文手段说专才好 As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said and I paraphrase I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge It is only because of each of the narrowly focused individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder but together we can climb to the moon 举的例子应该是作者编的 实 际上作者原本这里应该是一大段说理的论证 为了使论证不冗长 而采用了这种手法使得论 证从引用人的口中说出来 This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists in order for our society to take advantage of the information available to us 本句解释了引用的论据如何证明观点 也算是本 段的一个总结句 Simply put without specialists our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload 和上一段的论证其实是本质一样的 都是说专才好 这里从反面进行 论证 如果没有专才会怎么样 While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times now no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate al