高考英语书面表达分析.pptVIP

2008年高考英语书面表达阅卷分析 2007年与2008年高考书面表达阅卷情况比较 相同点 不同点 2007年平均分为11 56 35分满 2008年平均分为11 46 35分满 平均分低 评分标准一致 2007年 2008年评分标准均为 1 以要点内容定档次 2 以语言质量定分数 2008年可看上下文决定是否缺要点 2007年只看几个关键词没有就视为缺要点 2 2008年开放作文三判规定为2分以上 2007年开放作文三判规定为3分以上 情景作文 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华 为校刊英语园地写一篇题为 ourspringouting 的英文稿件 请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序 叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程 注意 词数不少于60 提示词 游乐园amusementpark垃圾箱bin 情景作文 给分档次 一档文 18 20分 二档文 15 17分 三档文 12 14分 四档文 6 11分 五档文 1 5分 六档文 0分 注 情景作文字数少于60 扣 分 情景作文 内容要点及细节 要点 讨论细节 去游乐园 划船 爬山 决定去爬山 情景作文 内容要点及细节 2 要点 爬山细节 携带吃 喝 天气 风景 进行竞赛 看谁先到山顶 情景作文 内容要点及细节 3 要点 捡拾垃圾 可捡拾自己的也可捡拾别人的 细节 一路走 一路捡 要有对场面的描写 情景作文 内容要点及细节 4 要点 投放垃圾细节 垃圾分类 可回收和不可回收 情景作文 评卷给分的细节要求 1 阅卷中不要通过找单词去找要点 一定要从上下文来找要点 2 阅卷重点放在用完整 准确的句子去表达思想上 满篇没有正确句子 一样打0分 3 所有要点齐全的进三档 12分以上 要保证要点和细节相互支撑 4 少一个细节的进三档上线 14分 可以视其语言状况 1或 1分 说明该学生最高可得15分 最低可得13分 5 少两个细节进三档下线 12分 可以视其语言状况 1或 1分 说明该学生最高可得13分 最低得11分 6 行文中图的先后顺序有误或人称错误的直接进四档 6 11分 7 文章不能以投放垃圾作为结束 要加上一个合情合理的结尾 否则要在所得分数中扣 1分 8 一档或二档文的确定要依文章的上下文连贯 紧凑 以及语言质量来决定 9 要点和细节可出现在一句话中 10 写落款 题目或称呼的都忽略不计 按照正常情况给分 情景作文 lastweekourclass1senior3inredstarhighschoolhadanunusualspringouting thedaybeforeweleft ourclassmateshadaheateddiscussionaboutthedestinationoftheouting somestudentssuggestedtheamusementpark whileotherspreferredboatingandmountainclimbing whenitcametopractice wewerehavingagoodtimeclimbingatlast however atthetopofthemountain wewereangryratherthanshockedtofindoutthatloadsofrubbishwerediscoveredeverywhere meanwhile itcametoourmindthatwehadtocleanthismessup thus afterrecyclingtherubbishindifferentbins wewereallverycheerfulthatwenotonlyreturnedthebeautybacktothemountain butalsohadawonderfulspringouting 漏掉了第二幅图这个要点 只能进四档 但其语言较好故 1分 总分为12 情景作文 lastweek thestudentsinmyclassdecidedtogooutforaspringouting someofuswantedtogototheamusementpark somewantedtogoboatingandsomewantedtoclimbthemountain finallywedecidedtoclimbthemountain iwasashinyday allofuswerehappy butwhenwereachedthetopofthemountain wefoundthatrubbisheverywhere wepickedtherubbishandthrewthemintothedustbin ithink weshouldn tthrewtherubbisheverywhereandweshoulddoourbesttoprotecttheenvironment themorewedo themorebeautifultheearthwillbe 情景作文 第二幅图少要点 第四图少细节 语言表述缺乏准确性和逻辑性 影响了对所写内容的理解 9分 lastweekourclassorganizedaspringouting tomakethismemorableactivitymorewonderful wediscussedthedestinationcarefullyandfinallydecidedtogomountain climbinginsteadofotherchoiceslikeplayinginanamusementparkandgoingboating withhighspirits westartedourspringoutingonafineday flowerspresenteduswiththeirsweetestsmilesandweweresoakedupinthewarmsunshine however wewereshockedwhenwereachedthetopofthemountain wastedbottlesandusedpackageswerethrowneverywherewhichtotallyruinedthebeautyofthenature feelingagreatpityforthetourists wepickeduptherubbishandcarefullydividedthemintotwogroups recycleonesandthenon recycleones afterthat weputtherubbishintothebindifferently wecallonawarenessonprotectingourenvironmentwhichisofgreatimportance thoughclearinguptherubbishwasatoughtask ourheartswerefilledwithjoyandwewillrememberthisoutingforever 内容要点齐全 描述语句丰富 上下文连贯 有效地使用了语句间的链接成分 只有个别用词错误 体现了较强的语言运用能力 19分 情景作文 lastweek therewasaheated discussiononwheretogoforourspringouting somestudentswantedtogotoamusementpark someconsideredtogoboatingandothersgavetheirideasforclimbing eventually wedecidedtotakeaclimb thenextday allofuspreparedwell withourenjoyment eachofusclimbedthemountainfullofenergy however whenwegottothetopofthemountain whatcoveredoureyesfirstwasthemassofrubbish itwasreallyapitythattherubbishdestroyedabeautifulscenery atlast wemadeupourmindtopickuptherubbish afterawhile witheveryone seffort therubbishwasclearedoffimmediatelyandweputthemintotherecycledandunrecycledbins inmyeyes thisspringoutingnotonlygaveuslotsofpleasure butalsogaveusameaningfullesson onlytoprotectourenvironment canwegetabeautifulsociety therefore ihopeeveryonecanjoinustomakeourhomecleanandtidy 情景作文 覆盖了所有内容要点 语法和用词能够满足任务要求 篇章较为连贯 有少许语言错误 16分 lastweek ourclasshadaspringouting whichthewholeclassthinkwasquitemeaningful whengettingpreparedfortheactivity wehadaheateddiscussionaboutwheretogo opinionsdividedamongthestudents somestudentssuggestedwegototheamusementparktogetrelaxed whileothersrecommendedthatwegoboating finally mostofthestudentsagreedtogohiking onasunnyday myclassgatheredatthefootofthemountain andeveryonelookedsoexited whilehikinginthemountain weallhadahappysmile butwhenreachingthetopofthemountain wearesosurprisedtofindthatlotsofrubbishwasleftthere thenwedecidedtocollectthemwiththebagswebought everyonesportnoefforttodoagoodjob atlast whenwegotdownthemountain wethrewalltherubbishintotheproperbins howmeaningfulwasourspringouting 情景作文 覆盖了所有的内容要点 但有个别细节缺失 全文行文流畅 内容连贯 有少许错误 14分 inthelastweek teachertellus wewillbegotospringamusement wewereveryhappystudentsthinkswewillgotopark ithasmouter hill river boatandsoon wewereaskedonnoon thelastiscomeon tomorrow teacherandusgonetoamusementpark wewereplayedveryhappyweweregonetherethatwewerewenttogoto monter hill river boat inthenoon wewerehavefood weallkindsoffood weareverylikethen intheafternoon wewillgooutcomebackwewereouthadfoodgotothebin wewereveryhappycomeback 0分 情景作文 possibleversion lastthursday wehadaclassmeetingtodiscusswheretogoforourspringouting wecameupwithseveralchoices suchasgoingboating climbingamountain andgoingtoanamusementpark finallywedecidedtogomountainclimbing thenextday wesetoffearlyinthemorning whileclimbingthemountain weenjoyedthewarmsunshineandabeautifulview however whenwereachedthetop wewereshockedtoseelitterhereandthere suchasbottlesandbananaspeels thenwestartedtopickupthelitter afterwards weputtherubbishintothenearbyrecyclingbinandnon recyclingbinrespectively weweretiredbuthappy 情景作文出现的主要问题 1 审题不仔细 漏掉要点 2 缺乏细节观念 不能使文章衔接紧密 3 人称和时态观念差 文章直接降档 4 语言基本功差 漏洞百出 5 缺乏交际观念 很难出色地完成写作任务 情景作文 开放作文 请根据下面提示 写一篇短文 词数不少于50 inanenglishspeechcompetition youareaskedtodescribethefollowingpictureandexplaintothejudgeshowyouunderstandit 开放作文 给分标准 一档文 13 15分 二档文 9 12分 三档文 4 8分 四档文 1 3分 五档文 0分 注 开放作文字数少于50 扣1分 开放作文 评卷给分的细节要求 1 必须有一段描写 看到什么 圆规 铅笔 要注意到表情 对图片的描写要有细节 看到你的描写 能够把图片浮现出来 同时要记住图片的描写一定要为观点服务 使二者紧密结合在一起 这点很重要 开放作文重点考察学生的逻辑性 2 理解必须建立在描写的基础上 必须把两个方面都说到 要体现两者的关系 因为图中画了两个元素 圆规和铅笔 3 只有议论为第三档 只说铅笔或圆规为第三档 4 8分 只有描述最高得5分 4 描述和议论部分没有很好的结合只能进三档 视其语言可给最高分 8分 5 进入一档文的条件是 不仅有对铅笔和圆规的正确理解和交代 还要有升华 如 能够联系到做人就更好了 6 看其观点是否能够自圆其说 语言要能够跟上自己的逻辑 7 圆规可以有变通的表达 写成什么样都能接受 看文章质量打分 开放作文 aswecanseefromthepicture apencilisrunningtodrawastraightline whiletheotherstationaryisdrawingacircleeasily thepencilistryingitsbesttodoitwithitssoulandheart theotheroneisveryproudofitself thoughitsskillisreallygood everyonehastheirownadvantagesanddisadvantages weshouldhaveconfidenceinourselvesandmakeourefforttodoeverything ifso ibelieveeveryonecanbesuccessful people sperseverenceandeffortwillcount atthesametime everyonehavetobecleartoknowyou llneverbethebestforyoucanbebetterrespectingeveryoneandbelievinginyourself thebrightfutureisaroundthecorner 开放作文 对图片有基本描述 且描述与下文的讨论有一定相关性 但论述中表达不够到位 逻辑联系交代得不够清楚 第二段的说明与第三段的描写没有必要的联系 描写部分说的是勤奋努力 第三段却说各有各的优点 逻辑混乱 观点不明 故定为9分 asisshownfromthepicture therearetwotoolswhichweoftenusethem oneisusedtodrawcirclesandtheotheroneisusedtodraweverything theonewhichisusedtodrawcirclesisproudofitsperfectcircles andtheotheroneismakingitsgreatefforttodrawlines inmyopinion theonedrawscircleslikesomeonewhoisalwayssatisfiedwiththeirthingsandtheotheronelikessomeonewhonevergivesupandmakeshisefforttoreachbetter ihavelearnedalotfromthepicturethatweshouldmakeourefforttodoeverythingalthoughwehavegotalittlemarkinsomeareas don tbeaddictedtothegreatpast 开放作文 对图片有基本清楚地描写 与下文的讨论之间有一定联系 但讨论部分语言表达不够清楚 且过于简单 8分 描述较为详尽 但议论过于简单 不能表达清楚自己的想法 whataninterestingpicture inthepicture wecanseethatapencilkeepdrawinghardandacircleronlydrawsacirclebutisproudofitself wecanlearnalotformthepicture ithinkweshoulddomore likethesayinggoes nopains nogains onlywedothingscanwegetwhatwewant andatthesametime we dbetternotthinkhighlyofourselves that sagoodwayforusonnotonlyourstudyandwork butalsoourlives 开放作文 描述过于简单 无法对下文起到充分的铺垫 使得文章看起来有些空穴来风 6分 描述过于简单 无法对下文起到充分的铺垫作用 ascanbeseenfromthepicture themodernmathtoolisdrawingthecircleeasilyandthetraditonalpencilisrunningtodrawthelineswithsweatfallingfromitsface ithinkthispicturereflectsanunusualsocialphenomenonthatpeoplewithmodernknowledgecansolveproblemsinamoreeffectivewayandaremorewelcomedbythecompanies ithinkitattemptstotellusthatpossessingandstubburnmethodcannotkeepthepaceofthesociety asfarasi mconcrened inordertomeettheneedofsociety wemustlearnknowledgeasmuchaswecanfromnowon onlyinthisway canwebetheleaderofthesociety 图片描写基本清楚 论述部分与描写部分之间没有令人信服的有机逻辑联系 理解比较牵强 但考虑到语言质量还可以 因此给出第三档中的高分数 8分 开放作文 图画的描写与下文理解很牵强 aswecanseeinthevividpicture oneisdrawingacirlehappily meanwhile theotherisdrawinglinesandtriesitsbest inmyopinion theystandsforthetwokindsofpeopleinourcontemperoysociety onestandsforthepersonswhoalwaysdolittleandsomethingsandaresatisfiedwithwhattheyhavedone theotheronestandsforthepersonswhotrytheirbestandmakemoreprogress nodoubt we llthinkhighlyofthesecondkindofpersons becauseit sthemthatmakeourlifeswereconvenientandeasierandmakethesocietydeveloping whilethefirstkindofpersons ithinkaretooselfish thisismyopinionaboutthepicture 开放作文 语言逻辑不够好 描写与议论没有多大的逻辑性 第三段与上下文无太大联系 逻辑性不强 交代的不太清楚 虽然语言流畅 但没有一个平台来支持前面的图 8分 图画的描写与议论部分未能有机地结合 inthepicture wecanseeacartoonpencilisrunningwithgreatefforttodrawasquare whileatoolusedindrawingcirclesisdoinghisjobinaneasyway feelingquiteproudandlookingdownuponthe silly littlepencil thisisquiteacommonsceneinthesociety somepeoplearetalentedandcanlearnasubjectinaneasyandperfectway theycaneasilygetproudandlookdownuponthosewhohavetomakegreateffortstodoit intheiropinion thosepeoplearetoosillytoachievegoals however these talented andproudpeopledon tunderstandthateventhoughtheycandowellinonesubject therearestillmanyjobs theydon tknowhowtodo justlikethetoolusedindrawingcircles hecanneverdrawasquarethateasily whilethose silly people thoughwithgreat canachievetheirdreamsinmanysubjectsbecauseoftheirself awarenessandperseverance justlikethelittlepencil whocandrawvariousshapes sodon tbeproudwhenyoucandosomethingwell bepatientandworkhard you llachievemoregoals especiallyinstudying 开放作文 图片描述清楚 议论部分与描述部分有机自然地结合 且论述比较充分语言流畅 无严重影响表达意思的错句 13分 aswecanseeinthepicture therearetwofamiliarmaterialswhichweoftenuseinourdailylife theoneisusedtodrawcircles theothercanmakeslines theonemakingefforttofinishitswork ontheotherhand thepencilisrunningallthetimetiredlysothatitcancompletetodrawastraightline thesetwomater