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Love Without Limitations My brother Jimmy did not get enough oxygen during a difficult delivery leaving him with brain damage and two years later I was born Since then my life revolved around my brother s Accompanying my growing up was always go out and play and take your brother with you I couldn t go anywhere without him so I urged the neighborhood kids to come to my house for some out of control kid centered fun My mother taught Jimmy practical things like how to brush his teeth or put on a belt My father a saint simply held the house together with his patience and understanding I was in charge outside where I administered justice by tracking down the parents of the kids who picked on my brother and telling on them My father and Jimmy were inseparable They ate breakfast together and on weekdays drove off to the navy shipping center every morning where they both worked Jimmy unloaded color coded boxes At night after dinner they would talk and play games late into the evening They even whistled the same tunes So when my father died of a heart attack in 1991 Jimmy was a wreck beneath his careful disguise He was simply in disbelief Usually very agreeable he now quit speaking altogether and no amount of words could penetrate the vacant expression he wore on his face I hired someone to live with him and drive him to work but no matter how much I tried to make things stay the same even Jimmy grasped that the world he d known was gone One day I asked You miss Dad don t you His lips quivered and then he asked What do you think Margaret He was my best friend Our tears began to flow My mother died of lung cancer six months later and I alone was left to look after Jimmy He didn t adjust to going to work without my father right away so he came and lived with me in New York City for a while He went wherever I went and seemed to adjust pretty well Still Jimmy longed to live in my parents house and work at his old job and I pledged to help him return Eventually I was able to work it out He has lived there for 11 years now with many different caretakers and blossomed on his own He has become essential to the neighborhood When you have any mail to be picked up or your dog needs walking he is your man My mother was right of course It was possible to have a home with room for both his limitations and my ambitions In fact caring for someone who loves as deeply and appreciates my efforts as much as Jimmy does has enriched my life more than anything else ever could have This hit home a few days after the September 11th disaster on Jimmy s 57th birthday I had a party for him in my home in New York but none of our family could join us because travel was difficult and they were still reckoning with the sheer terror the disaster had brought I called on my faithful friends to help make it a merry and festive occasion ignoring the fact that most of them were emotionally drained and exhausted Instead of the customary No gifts please I shouted Gifts Please My friends people Jimmy had come to know over the years brought the ideal presents country music CDs a sweatshirt one leather belt with J I M M Y on it a knitted wool hat and a cowboy costume The evening led up to the gifts and then the chocolate cake from his favorite bakery and of course the ceremony wasn t complete without the singing A thousand times Jimmy asked Is it time for the cake yet After dinner and the gifts Jimmy could no longer be restrained He anxiously waited for the candles to be lit and then blew them out with one long breath as we all sang Happy Birthday Jimmy wasn t satisfied with our effort though He jumped up on the chair and stood erect pointing both index fingers into the air to conduct us and yelled One more time We sang with all of the energy left in our souls and when we were finished he put both his thumbs up and shouted That was super We had wanted to let him know that no matter how difficult things got in the world there would always be people who cared about him We ended up reminding ourselves instead For Jimmy the love with which we sang was a welcome bonus but mostly he had just wanted to see everyone else happy again Just as my father s death had changed Jimmy s world overnight September 11th changed our lives the world we d known was gone But as we sang for Jimmy and held each other tight afterward praying for peace around the world we were reminded that the constant love and support of our friends and family would get us through whatever life might present The simplicity with which Jimmy had reconciled everything for us should not have been surprising There had never been any limitations to what Jimmy s love could accomplish 无限的爱 我哥哥吉 米出生时遇上难产 因为缺氧导致大脑受损 两年后 我出生了 从此以后 我 的生活便围绕我哥哥转 伴随我成长的 是 到外面去玩 把你哥哥也带上 不带上他 我是 哪里也去不了的 因此 我怂恿邻居的孩子到我家来 尽情地玩孩子们玩的游戏 我母亲教吉米学习日常自理 比如刷牙或系皮带什么的 我父亲宅心仁厚 他的耐心和理 解使一家人心贴着心 我则负责外面的事 找到那些欺负我哥哥的孩子们的父母 告他们的状 为我哥哥讨回公道 父亲和吉米形影不离 他们一道吃早饭 平时每天早上一道开车去海军航运中心 他们都 在那里工作 吉米在那搬卸标有彩色代号的箱子 晚饭后 他们一道交谈 玩游戏 直到深夜 他们甚至用口哨吹相同的曲调 所以 父亲 1991 年因心脏病去世时 吉米几乎崩溃了 尽管他尽量不表现出来 他就是 不能相信父亲去世这一事实 通常 他是一个令人愉快的人 现在却一言不发 无论说多少话 都不能透过他木然的脸部表情了解他的心事 我雇了一个人和他住在一起 开车送他去上班 然而 不管我怎么努力地维持原状 吉米还是认为他熟悉的世界已经消失了 有一天 我问他 你是不是想念爸爸 他的嘴唇颤抖了几下 然后问我 你怎么看 玛格丽特 他是我最好的 朋友 接着 我俩都流下了眼泪 六个月后 母亲因肺癌去世 剩下我一人来照顾吉米 吉米不能马上适应去上班时没有父亲陪着 因此搬来纽约和我一起住了一段时间 我走到 哪里他就跟到哪里 他好像适应得很好 但吉米依然想住在我父母的房子里 继续干他原来的 工作 我答应把他送回去 此事最后做成了 如今 他在那里生活了 11 年 在许多人的照料 下 同时依靠自己生活得有声有色 他已成了邻里间不可或缺的人物 如果你有邮件要收 或 有狗要遛 他就是你所要的人 当然 母亲的话没错 可以有一个家 既能容纳他的缺陷又能装下我的雄心 事实上 关 照像吉米这样一个深爱又感激我的人 更加丰富了我的生活 其他任何东西都不能与之相比 这一点 在 9 11 灾难后几天更显真切 那天是吉米 57 岁生日 我在纽约自己的家里为 他举办生日宴会 但是我们家的人都没能来参加 因为交通困难 而且灾难带来的恐惧使他们 依然心有余悸 我邀请了我的好友 请他们来帮忙把宴会弄得热闹些 增加点欢快气氛 没去 理会他们多数人在情感上都有些疲惫这一事实 于是我一反常态 没说 请不要带礼物 而是 向他们喊 请带礼物来 我的朋友 吉米认识他们多年了 带来了中意的礼物 乡村音乐 CD 一件长袖运动衫 一条有 吉米 字样的皮带 一顶编织的羊毛帽 还有一套牛仔服 那天晚上 我们先是送礼物 然后是切从他喜欢的面包店里买来的巧克力蛋糕 当然还唱了 生日歌 否则宴会就不算完整 了 吉米一次次地问 该切蛋糕了吧 等用完餐和送完礼物后 吉米再也控制不住了 他焦 急地等着点上蜡烛 然后在我们 生日快乐 的歌声中 一口长气吹灭了蜡烛 然而吉米对我们 的努力还是感到不满足 他纵身跳到椅子上 直挺着身子 双手食指朝天 一边喊一边指挥我 们唱歌 再 来 一次 我们全力以赴地唱 待我们唱完时 他翘起两个拇指喊道 好极 了 本来我们想让他知道 无论世上有多难的事情 总是有人来关心他 现在反倒是提醒了我 们自己 对于吉米来说 我们唱歌时的爱心 是他心中额外的礼物 但是他原先更想看到的 是别人再次感到快乐 有如父亲的去世一夜之间改变了吉米的世界 9 11 也改变了我们的生活 我们熟悉的世界 不复存在了 但是 当我们为吉米唱歌 相互紧拥 祈祷全球和平时 我们也意识到 朋友 家人间永恒的爱和支持可以让我们克服生活中的任何困难 吉米以朴素的方式为我们协调了眼 前的一切 他做到这一点并不令人吃惊 吉米的爱可以征服一切 这是任何东西都限制不了的 Where Principles Come First The Hyde School operates on the principle that if you teach students the merit of such values as truth courage integrity leadership curiosity and concern then academic achievement naturally follows Hyde School founder Joseph Gauld claims success with the program at the 18 000 a year high school in Bath Maine which has received considerable publicity for its work with troubled youngsters We don t see ourselves as a school for a type of kid says Malcolm Gauld Joseph s son who graduated from Hyde and is now headmaster We see ourselves as preparing kids for a way of life by cultivating a comprehensive set of principles that can affect all kids Now Joe Gauld is trying to spread his controversial Character First idea to public inner city schools willing to use the tax dollars spent on the traditional program for the new approach The first Hyde public school program opened in September 1992 Within months the program was suspended Teachers protested the program s demands and the strain associated with more intense work This fall the Hyde Foundation is scheduled to begin a preliminary public school program in Baltimore Teachers will be trained to later work throughout the entire Baltimore system Other US school managers are eyeing the program too Last fall the Hyde Foundation opened a magnet program within a public high school in the suburbs of New Haven Connecticut over parents protests The community feared the school would attract inner city minority and troubled students As in Maine the quest for truth is also widespread at the school in Connecticut In one English class the 11 students spend the last five minutes in an energetic exchange evaluating their class performance for the day on a 1 10 scale I get a 10 I challenge that You didn t do either your grammar or your spelling homework OK a seven You ought to get a six Wait I put my best effort forth here Yeah but you didn t ask questions today Explaining his approach to education Joe Gauld says the conventional education system cannot be reformed He notes no amount of change with the horse and carriage will produce an automobile The Hyde School assumes every human being has a unique potential that is based on character not intelligence or wealth Conscience and hard work are valued Success is measured by growth not academic achievement Students are required to take responsibility for each other To avoid the controversy of other character programs used in US schools Gauld says the concept of doing your best has nothing to do with forcing the students to accept a particular set of morals or religious values The Hyde curriculum is similar to conventional schools that provide preparation for college complete with English history math and science But all students are required to take performing arts and sports and provide a community service For each course students get a grade for academic achievement and for best effort At Bath 97 of the graduates attend four year colleges Commitment among parents is a key ingredient in the Hyde mixture For the student to gain admission parents also must agree to accept and demonstrate the school s philosophies and outlook The parents agree in writing to meet monthly in one of 20 regional groups go to a yearly three day regional retreat and spend at least three times a year in workshops discussion groups and seminars at Bath Parents of Maine students have an attendance rate of 95 in the many sessions Joe and Malcolm Gauld both say children tend to do their utmost when they see their parents making similar efforts The biggest obstacle for many parents they say is to realize their own weaknesses The process for public school parents is still being worked out with a lot more difficulty because it is difficult to convince parents that it is worthwhile for them to participate Of the 100 students enrolled in New Haven about 30 of the parents attend special meetings The low attendance is in spite of commitments they made at the outset of the program when Hyde officials interviewed 300 families Once the problems are worked out Hyde should work well in public schools says a teacher at Bath who taught for 14 years in public schools He is optimistic that once parents make a commitment to the program they will be daily role models for their children unlike parents whose children are in boarding schools One former inner city high school teacher who now works in the New Haven program says teachers also benefit Here we really begin to focus on having a fruitful relationship with each student Our focus is really about teacher to student and then we together deal with the academics In the traditional high school setting it s teacher to the material and then to the student The teacher student relationship is taken even further at Hyde Faculty evaluations are conducted by the students Jimmy DiBattista 19 is amazed he will graduate this May from the Bath campus and plans to attend a university Years ago he had seen his future as jail not college DiBattista remembers his first days at Hyde When I came here I insulted and cursed everybody Every other school was Get out we don t want to deal with you I came here and they said We kind of like that spirit We don t like it with the negative attitudes We want to turn that spirit positive 品德至上 海德中学的办学宗旨是 如果你向学生传授诸如求真 勇敢 正直 领导能力 好奇心和关 心他人等美德的话 学生的学习成绩自然就会提高 该校的创始人约瑟夫 高尔德声称学校的教 学很成功 海德中学位于缅因州巴思市 每年的学费高达 1 8 万美元 因其教导问题少年有方 而闻名遐迩 我们并不把自己看作一所专为某一类孩子而开设的学校 马尔科姆 高尔德说 他是约瑟 夫的儿子 毕业于海德中学 现任海德中学校长 我们把帮助孩子培养一种生活方式看作自己 的职责 办法是倡导一整套能影响所有孩子的价值观念 现在 乔 高尔德 约瑟夫 高尔德 正试图将他尚有争议的 品德第一 的理念向旧城区的 公立学校推广 这些学校愿意将用于传统教学计划的税金用于实施这一新的教学方法 海德公 立学校第一个教学计划始于 1992 年 9 月 但几个月后 该计划即告暂停 教师们对教学计划 的高要求以及高强度工作所带来的压力表示抗议 今年秋天 海德基金会计划在巴尔的摩启动初步的公立学校教学计划 教师要接受培训 以便今后能在整个巴尔的摩体系内胜任工作 美国其他学校的领导们也在关注这个教学计划 去年秋天 在家长的一片抗议声中 海德基金会在康涅狄格州纽黑文市郊区的一所中学内启动 了一个引人注目的教学计划 当地居民担心该校可能招进来旧城区的少数民族学生和问题学生 就像在缅因州那样 求真也在康涅狄格州的这所中学得到广泛推崇 在一堂英语课上 11 名学生用最后的 5 分钟展开激烈的讨论 依照 1 10 的评分标准相互评价他们当天的课堂表 现 我得 10 分 我有意见 你既没做语法作业 也没做拼写练习 那好 就 7 分吧 你只能得 6 分 等等 我可是全力以赴的 是的 可你今天没提问 在解释自己的教育方法时 乔 高尔德指出 对传统的教育体制不能只是改革 他说 无论 怎样改革 用马和马车 是改革不出汽车的 海德中学认为 每一个人都有自己的独特潜能 这种潜能的基础是品格而不是智力或财富 良知和苦干受到推崇 成功由不断进步来衡量 而 不是由学习成绩来评定 学生必须相互负责 为了避免美国中学使用的其他品格培养方案所引 发的争议 高尔德解释说 全力以赴 这一概念并不是要强迫学生接受某一套道德原则或宗教 观念 海德中学的课程与那些为升入大学做准备的传统学校所开设的课程相似 包括英语 历史 数学和自然科学 但所有的学生都必须选修表演艺术和体育 还要提供社区服务 在每门课程 中 学生都会得到一个综合了学习成绩和 努力程度 的分数 在巴思市 97 的海德中学毕业 生都升入了大学本科 在海德中学的综合教育中 父母的参与是一个关键的组成部分 为了使孩子被该校录取 家长也必须同意接受并实践学校的思想和观点 家长们签约同意每月出席一次区域小组会议 共 20 个区域小组 每年去区域休养所三天 每年至少参加三次巴思市的研修班 讨论组 和研讨会 在很多活动中 缅因州学生家长的出席率高达 95 乔和马尔科姆 高尔德都说 当孩子们见到自己的父母都在全力以赴时 他们也会竭尽全力 他们说 对许多家长而言 最 困难的是让他们意识到自己的不足 公立学校学生家长的活动计划仍在制定之中 这项工作的困难要大得多 因为很难使家长 相信他们的参与很有价值 在纽黑文市录取的 100 名学生中 有 30 左右的家长出席了各类 特别会议 这一低出席率违背了他们在教学计划开始实施时所做的承诺 当时海德中学的官员 曾与 300 个家庭进行了面谈 巴思市一名在公立学校教书达 14 年之久的教师说 一旦问题得到解决 海德教学计划就 会在公立学校中获得成功 他乐观地认为 一旦家长们投入到计划当中 他们就会成为孩子们 日常行为的榜样 这与寄宿学校的学生家长完全不同 一名曾任教于旧城区学校的教师如今在从事纽黑文教学计划 他说 教师也能从中受益 在这里 我们真正开始集中精力与每一个学生建立卓有成效的关系 我们的重点真的是先考虑 师生关系 然后是师生共同探讨学业 而在传统的中学里 是先考虑教师和教材的关系 然后 再考虑师生关系 师生关系在海德中学被进一步深化了 对教职员工的评估由学生来进行 19 岁的吉米 迪巴蒂斯塔今年 5 月将从巴思校区毕业 并准备升入大学 对此他感到惊奇 几年前 他还觉得自己的前途 是在监狱 而不是在大学 迪巴蒂斯塔还记得他刚到海德中学 时的情景 我来这儿时 见人就侮辱 就咒骂 其他每所学校都会说 滚出去 我们这儿不要你 我来到这儿 他们却说 我们有几分喜欢这种活力 但并不喜欢它消极的一面 我们要将它转 化成积极的东西 How to Prepare for Earthquakes Ideally people would like to know when an earthquake is going to happen and how bad it will be In both Japan and China people have long believed that earthquakes can be forecast In Japan scientists have wired the Earth and sea to detect movements The Chinese have traditionally watched animals and plants for warning signs of earthquakes For example the Chinese have noted that before an earthquake hens behavior changes they refuse to enter their cages at night They have also noticed that snakes come out of the ground to freeze to death and that dogs bark a lot even normally quiet dogs Before the Hanshin earthquake in Japan there were reports of large schools of fish swimming near the surface of the water Certain birds like pigeons also seemed to be especially noisy and were reported to be flying in unusual patterns before the earthquake Perhaps most interesting and most easily measured is a chemical change in ground water before a quake Experimental data seem to indicate that the amount of radon Rn in the water under the surface of the Earth waxes before an earthquake People would also like to be able to prevent the great destruction of property caused by earthquakes After all most of the people who die in earthquakes are killed by falling buildings Therefore building structures that can withstand the power of earthquakes is a major concern Steel seems to be the best material but not if it is welded to form a rigid structure Many new structures are built with a new type of steel joint an I joint which appears to be the most durable type of joint These joints of steel can move without breaking Also to prevent property damage architects now design buildings so that the building s columns and horizontal beams are of equal strength and vertical support columns are inserted deep into solid soil In addition many new houses have relatively light roofs and strong walls Concrete pillars for highway bridges that previously only had steel rods inside are now enclosed in steel Besides working to improve building structures people in areas where earthquakes are common need to prepare for the possibility of a great earthquake They should regularly check and reinforce their homes place heavy objects in low positions attach cupboards and cabinets to walls and fasten doors so that they will not open accidentally during an earthquake In addition to preparing their houses people in these regions need to prepare themselves They should have supplies of water and food at home and at work It is best to store several gallons of water per person It is also important to have something that can clean water and kill bacteria so water from other sources can be made safe to drink Store one week s food for each person Earthquake survival supplies include a radio receiver a torch extra batteries first aid supplies a spade a tent some rope and warm clothing Experts also suggest the following Keep a fire extinguisher handy You should have one at home at work and in your car if you have one The fire extinguisher should be able to put out any type of fire Have the proper tools to turn off gas and water lines if necessary Arrange an auxiliary cooking and heating source that can be used outside One alternative is a portable camp stove with small cans of gas Keep a pair of heavy comfortable shoes or boots in your home at work and in your vehicle If there is an earthquake there will be lots of fragments of broken glass Light shoes will not protect your feet as well as heavy shoes will Every family needs to have earthquake emergency plans How will family members leave the area during the chaos following an earthquake Everyone should agree on a meeting point outside of the area perhaps in a town several miles away Also important is an arrangement for family members to communicate if there is an earthquake If an earthquake happens in a large city many of the telephone lines within the city are likely to be down The few remaining working lines will be busy with the calls that naturally occur after a disaster and it will be difficult to call from one part of the city to another It might however be possible to call outside the city A sensible arrangement is to have all of the members of the family call to check in with a friend or relative who lives more than a hundred miles away Although scientists still cannot predict earthquakes they are learning a great deal about how the large plates in the Earth s crust move the stresses between plates how earthquakes work and the general probability that a given

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