2004真题作文.doc

2004真题作文评讲Directions: Study the following drawing carefully and write an essay in which you should 1) describe the drawing. 2) interpret its meaning, and. 3) support your view with examples. 解题：1.描述图：这幅图描绘了一个跑步运动员，经过他的艰苦努力终于到达了终点。他心里充满了成功的喜悦。然而，这个终点又是他的一个新的起点。他还需要继续努力。避免将图中每个细节作过细的描写。表现图中的主要思想内容。例：From the above picture, we can see that a runner arrives at the finish line with a smile and sweat. He is so excited because of his success. But he will continue his efforts instead of having a rest.2.解释图的意义：这幅图是要告诉我们，不应该满足于我们已经取得的成绩，应该不断进取，去获取新的成就。开头示例：Through the picture, the drawer tries to tell us that或：From the picture, we may learn that3.举例：许多事例可以支持我们从这幅图可以看出的意义。人的一生可以看作由许多个阶段构成。我们在每一个阶段取得的成功，都可以看作一个终点，同时又是一个新的起点。再以我们的教育为例。即使我们完成了研究生阶段的学习，那也意味着是一个新的起点。我们还需要根据社会和时代的要求，不断地学习，充实自己的知识。现代社会是一个竞争的社会，如果我们躺在已经取得的成就上，不思进取，最终会落伍，被社会所淘汰。注意：所举事例必须能够说明第二段中所解释的意义。否则可能会不切题。另外，不能用继续阐明意义来代替事例。不能将阐述自己的观点当作举例。常见错误分析1. 在自己写作之前不应该先看范文。有关道理已经讲过。练习这样的写作，首先练的是省题和组织自己的思路。如果看了范文，这一个目的就不能达到。如果考试的时候做不到这一点，那么，整篇作文就会失败。2. 举例说明的时候应该注意得体适当。这幅图主要是关于一个人的进步的。不应该以中国大陆曾经经历过的各种政治运动来作为例子。也不应该用雷锋来作为这样的例子。3. 在举例的时候，要利用已经学过的句型，不能自己去编造。在评讲2001年的真题作文时，曾经讲过“要用现成的表达法，不能自编。常用表示举例的表达法有：take sth. for example. ; sth./ sb. can be a good example.; a good case in point is sth. / sb. ; sth. / sb. can be a good case in point.后边就用一句或数句将这个事例解释清楚。举例时要注意，不要单纯地描述一件事情。不要有过多的不重要的细节描写。要让读者明白描述这些事情的目的意义是什么。例：There is an example can be used to illustrate the meaning of the drawing.分析：there is是典型错误。曾经讲过，当中文表示“有某人做某事”时，“有”there be句型是多余的。虽然去掉there be后结构正确，但是依然不是一个好的句子。关键是需要用一个常用的句型。例：To illustrate this meaning, we go out the university, then we get our first job, but we rarely stay with the same company in life.分析：由于没有注意利用举例的句型，造成整个句子的意义不通。“为了说明这个意义，我们走出大学，然后我们得到第一份工作，但是我们在一生中很少呆在同一个公司”。4. 一定要解决好谓语动词形式的问题。避免低级错误。例：Take some of the college students for example. Passed the university entrance examination, some students insist that they have reached the “finish line”. So they are not attach importance to the college study. When graduated, they found little had they obtained in four years college life. 分析：Passed the university entrance examination,前边是个过去分词短语。在使用非谓语动词作状语的时候，应该注意句子的主语是这个非谓语的逻辑主语。过去分词表示被动。相当于some students are passed the university entrance examination，这样就不通了。 some students insist that they have reached the “finish line”. So they are not attach importance（谓语形式的错误。没有任何一种时态或语态是由be动词和动词原形构成的。奇怪的是，这几年很多人出这样的问题。否定句的构成应该是：do not attach importance to ） to the college study. When graduated,(从句的结构和意义不全。不能看作是省略句。从句的省略一般是省略作主语的代词和作谓语的be动词，如it is, they are之类的。) they found little had they obtained in four years college life. （最后一句看不出为什么突然用过去时态，而且句子的意义也不清楚。）例：They must to be change and perfect by themselves.分析：已经多次讲过，情态动词后边一般跟动词原形，不可能后跟不定式。另外，be动词加动词原形也是不可能的形式。如果要表达“不断地完善自己”，就应该表达为：They must keep on perfecting themselves.5. 在套用句型的时候，一定要注意符合自己要表达的意义，符合文章的主题要求。例：Nowadays, many people talk about the relation between beginning and ending for study.分析：这个句子没有语法和表达的错误。但是，不符合事实。例：No better illustration of this idea can be thought than the example mentioned below.分析：这样的句子给人的感觉有点“饶舌”，并不是好句子，说了半天也不知道要举的事例是什么。而且，一看就知道是从什么书上抄来的。不如直接用一个举例的句型。例：From the picture we can see, it is describe about a match.分析：1）“从这幅图我们可以看到，它描写关于一场比赛”。句子意义不通。不如直接说“这幅图描写了一场比赛”。2）主句谓语构成错误。目前广泛存在的典型问题：be动词加动词原形，任何时态语态都不是。3）选词错误：match是两人两组的对抗赛，race是田径赛。改：The picture describes a race.例：As is shown in the picture, we can see that a man with a bright smile runs to the ending. 分析：句子意义不通，“正如这幅图中所表现的那样，我们可以看到，一个人带着微笑跑向终点”。显然，“我们可以看到”是多余的。run而且应该用现在进行时态。改：As is shown in the picture, a man with a bright smile is running to the finish line.例：With the rapid growth of society, our abilities are requested stronger and stronger. We should get ready for save the world and save ourselves.分析：第一句意义不通，“随着社会的迅速发展，我们的能力被要求越来越强”，应该表达为“对我们的能力的要求越来越高”。 The requirement for our abilities is higher and higher. 第二句中句型错误。介词for后边应该是一个名词，而不是一个动词原形save。要么用短语get ready to do sth，要么用短语get ready for sth.。而且，save the world and save ourselves（拯救世界，也拯救我们自己）显然是从某一篇范文学来的。可是在这里用不上。前后两个句子之间意义不连贯。例：（第三段）When the people reach the first objective, they are often at a loss what they should do the next time. Evidently, it is time that we took some active measures to solve the problem. As an old saying goes, he who laugh last laughs best. So 分析：第三段要求举事例来说明图中表现的意义。这里的几个句子显然都不符合这个要求。第二个句子一般用于讨论一些常见社会问题，与个人如何不断发展进步无关。第三个句子一般也不应该用于这样的场合。这样给人的印象是在拼凑字数。前后句子6. 修饰语应该尽量靠近被修饰的成分。例：The picture implies a life philosophy on “the end is a new start” in a vivid way.分析：如果修饰语不靠近被修饰的成分，就容易与其他的成分混淆而造成意义表达错误。如此句中的in a vivid way。可以将a life philosophy that the end is a new start整个看做一个宾语。在SVOA结构中，如果宾语比较长，而状语比较短，可以将状语提到宾语前，这个状语依然是末位状语。推而广之，一个词后边如果有两个或多个成分，随时可以根据“前轻后重”的原则调换位置。改：The picture implies in a vivid way a life philosophy that “the end is a new start”.7. 词汇与用法：1） arrive at, reach2） goal, aim, objective3） 参考范文：Wise people used to say that ones journey through life can be divided into many sections and one finish-line of a section is just the starting-point of another one.（利用“wise people”所说的一句与本文主题相关的话来引入话题） This is most vividly illustrated in the given picture, （此句可以作为本段的主题句）which shows that a young runner, sweating all over, is breasting the tape.（图中细节的描写） Obviously he has reached the finish-line, but as marked on the race-track, the finish-line is also the starting point of another race. It means that the runner will have to embark on another long run.（更多的图中细节的描写）This picture has profound implications for both our society and us human beings.（本段主题句。这一段要求写图的意义。自己写的时候应该按照已经讲过的写作技巧，利用提纲中的关键词meaning来保证切题。此句中的implications相当于meaning。但是这一句中将society和human beings相提并论不妥。因为society就是由人构成的，这是两个部分重叠的概念。改：for us, especially for the youth.） Our country, for example, has developed rapidly in terms of economy and science and technology. We have accomplished in about two decades what other industrial countries used to achieve in a century. But no one can deny that there is still a long way to go before our country becomes a prosperous and powerful one. In other words, what we have achieved today can only serve as the starting point of another long journey of development and progress. The same is true of us human beings. For instance, many of those who take part in the national entrance exams for masters programs will be admitted by some graduate schools. For them, it is certainly a happy end or a finish-line. But can anyone deny that the success is also the starting-point of another three years of hard work ? (这一部分不符合本段要求。举例说明应该是在第三段，而不是在第二段。)第二段可以改写如下：Undoubtedly the picture conveys the meaning that life is like the process of running during which one should make constant efforts and never stop making progress.（此句作文主题句解释图的意义。）（下文对主题句的道理作进一步的解释） Owing to the quickening pace of life, competition is becoming increasingly fierce in all walks of life, stimulating everyone to pursue one goal after another. Once a person stops making progress, he can hardly maintain his past glory and survive in this competitive world. No matter how powerful a country is, no matter how successful a specific institution, it will definitely seek new development in high speed. Generally speaking, neither a country nor a person can remain stagnant.In a word, life is a just cycle of starts and finishes. With this awareness, people can cope with what they will encounter in the future better and confront all the challenges more calmly and confidently. exams for masters programs will be admitted by some graduate schools. For them, it is certainly a happy end or a finish-line. But can anyone deny that the success is a