高考英语一轮复习 写作技法点拨系列6 升格作文档次, 打造写作亮点课件 外研版.ppt

写作技法点拨系列六 升格作文档次 打造写作亮点 核心点拨 四步提升作文档次要在高考英语作文中得到高分 考生必须让自己的文章有 亮点 做到妙笔生花 体现出高超的语言驾驭能力和谋篇布局的能力 一篇高考英语作文若能做到 结构紧凑 要点齐全 内容连贯 语言丰富 再加上 亮点频现 则必能征服阅卷者 获得高分 下面我们就以一篇c档考场作文为例 通过完成每一步后面的升级任务 来具体体会如何将一篇普通作文升级为最优秀作文 asweallknowthatsouthwestchinalikeyunnan guizhouandsichuanissufferingfromterribledroughtbecauseofitisverydry itlastedafewmonths manyriversandlakesdriedup manycropsdiedout peopleneedwaterverymuch thegovernmenthasdonemanythingstohelpthepeoplefightagainstit peoplethroughoutourcountryalsodoalotthingstohelpthem forexample givemoneyorwatertothem weshoulduniteandhelpeachother fortheotherhand weshouldsavewater everydropofwater itisveryvaluable wecansolvetheproblemonlyinthiswayandenjoyahappylife 第1步 清除简单语言错误升级任务 请将文中的八处错误找出来 并逐一改正 1 第一句中的that去掉 并在know后面加逗号 2 第一句中becauseof短语去掉of 3 第二句中的lasted改为haslasted 4 第三句中的driedup改为havedriedup 5 第四句中的diedout改为havediedout 6 第七句中的alot改为alotof 7 第九句中的for改为on 8 第九句中itisveryvaluable中的it改为which 第2步 让词语亮丽起来升级任务 请用更高级的词汇替换斜体的单词和短语 1 thegovernmenthasdonemanythingstohelpthepeoplefightagainstit thegovernment tohelpthepeoplefightagainstit takesquickactionandeffective measures 2 peoplethroughoutourcountryalsodoalotofthingstohelpthem forexample givemoneyorwatertothem peoplethroughoutourcountryalsodo to moneyorwatertoofferhelp whatever theycan donate 第3步 让句式丰富多变起来升级任务 请根据不同提示表述 中国西南缺雨导致的干旱已持续了数月 1 becauseof shortage sufferfrom becauseoftheshortageofrainforafewmonths southwestchinaissufferingfromseveredrought 2 severeshortage bringsufferingto 3 lastafewmonths cause 现在分词作状语 thesevereshortageofrainforafewmonthshas broughtterriblesufferingstosouthwestchina thesevereshortageofraininsouthwestchina haslastedafewmonths causingterriblesufferings 第4步 巧妙使用连接词升级任务 请在下面的横线上填入恰当的连接词 使文章更加顺畅 thesevereshortageofwaterinsouthwestchinahaslastedafewmonths causingterriblesufferingstothisarea notonlyhavemanyriversandlakesdriedup butalsolargeareasofcrops asweallknow havediedout peopleneedwaterbadly thegovernmenttakesquickactionandeffectivemeasurestohelpthepeopletoovercometheirdifficulties themeasuresthatthegovernmenthastakenaresoeffectivethatthesituationissoonundercontrol peoplethroughoutourcountryalsoaredoingwhattheycantodonatewaterormoneytoofferhelp what sworse what smore let sunitetogetherandfighttogetheragainstthedrought wearesuretowinthebattle weshouldrealizehowvaluablewaterisandtryourbesttosavewater ontheonehand ontheotherhand 仔细阅读之后 我们会发现升级后的作文具有五大优点 即 蠢错不犯 句式多变 巧妙串联 层次不乱 亮点若干 一篇习作如果具有这五个优点 必定会是一篇最优档的习作 即时应用 以下是一篇以 iwanttosmile 为题的普通档英语作文 虽无语法和拼写错误 但层次不清晰 内容不连贯 且缺乏文采 请用学过的知识将其升级为最优档的作文 iwanttosmilesmilehasmanyadvantages itisnotonlygoodforothersbutalsogoodforourselves iwanttosmilebecausetherearemanyadvantagesofsmilingatothers iwanttosmileatmyparentsbecausetheyusedalotoftimetohelpmegrowup andtheyhelpedmealot ilearnedmanythingsfromthem iamverythankfultothem soiwanttogivemysmiletothem iwanttosmileatmyself everyday afterigetup iwilllookintothemirrorandsmileatmyself imaymeetalotofdifficulties butiwillusemysmiletoencouragemyselftoovercomethem inaword smileisaveryusefultoolforme 参考范文 iwanttosmiletherearemanyadvantagesofsmiling itcannotonlymakeushappy butalsopleaseothers ifwesmileatlife lifewillsmileonusinreturn soiwanttosmileatallwheneverandwhereverpossible first iwouldliketosmileatmyparentsbecausetheyhavegivenmelifeandtakeallthetroubletobringmeup theyarrangealmosteverythingforme withtheirhelp ihavemadegreatprogress iwouldliketosay thankyou toth