最经典的满分作文赏析.doc

162 Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.Nowadays, the annual incomes of many sports stars and film stars come to millions of dollars. Some people claim that their salaries are too high. Yet, in my opinion, such salaries are well deserved. They work hard to become famous, provide entertainment for us, and win honors for their countries. (50)First, famous athletes and entertainers make painstaking efforts to achieve fame. Fame is a wonderful thing to have, but it seldom appears overnight. Famous people have worked hard for years to achieve their fame today and they have to continue to their good work to maintain it. For their hard work, sports and entertaining stars deserve to be generously rewarded. Unfortunately, people tend to focus on the huge amounts of money made by them. They rarely appreciate the efforts that athletes and entertainers have to make in order to achieve the fame they have today. For example, in order to win the first place in a 100-metre dash, an athlete has to cover hundreds of miles during training. Famous stars deserve their high salaries because they have worked hard. (129)Second, sports and entertaining stars provide us with good entertainment. On weekends, many of us attend a football match that includes Beckham, see a movie that stars Julia Roberts, or go to a concert that features Celine Dion. These people help us make good use of our free time by entertaining us. As a result, we feel inspired as well as relaxed. In other words, we feel energetic again after attending the events. We even feel that we have more to enjoy in life and have new aspirations. For such reasons, these people are worth their high salaries. (98)Third, athletes and entertainers win honors for their countries. For example, after four years hard work, many athletes win gold medals at the Olympics Games. They are able to make millions of dollars a year after the games. Such high salaries are justified, because these athletes have won honors for their countries in the most competitive arena and have made their people proud, something few people can even dream of. This is true for entertainers as well. Many actors and actresses receive high salaries after they have won Oscars or prizes at Cannes Film Festival. These people also deserve high salaries, because they have made a name in films for their country and have made their country better known by people elsewhere in the world. (125)All in all, famous athletes and entertainers merit their high salaries, for their hard work, entertainment they provide, and their contribution to their country. If I had a chance, I would be a famous star who can make millions of dollars a year. (43) (475)1.总体分析:观点展开文章扣题紧密，首段明确表态，主体段都有明确的主题句，主题句后都给出了恰当的例子和解释。组织结构经典五段式，结构清晰，体现了统一、递进和连贯。语言运用选词恰当，词汇多变；句型丰富，且有一定复杂度，句子长短交替（第四段尤其明显），长度合理（共475词，27句话，平均每句话17.6个词）。2.文章结构：首段：使用了“漏斗鱼钩”。第一句介绍背景，第二话介绍别人观点，过渡到题目话题，第三句话表明作者观点，第四句话预示下文内容。主体段：主题句+例子和解释末段：衔接词 + 复述本文主题 + 简明总结主要论点 + 作者的期待3.语言积累：3(1).精华词汇和短语中文大意文中表达明星sports stars and film stars athletes and entertainers famous peoplesports and entertaining starsfamous stars actors and actresses薪水（高薪）high salaries are well-deserveddeserve to be generously rewardedare worth their high salarieshigh salaries are justifiedmerit their high salaries成名become famousachieve famemake a namemake their country better known be a famous star 提供娱乐provide entertainmentby entertaining us为国争光win honors make their people proudcontribution 努力work hardmake painstaking efforts感到振奋feel inspired as well as relaxedfeel energetichave new aspirations3(2). 亮点句型：句型1：On weekends, many of us attend a football match that includes Beckham, see a movie that stars Julia Roberts, or go to a concert that features Celine Dion.点评：注意平行结构的使用。这样有美感的句型写起来虽然很难，但是至少是努力的方向。文中类似的平行结构：They work hard to become famous, provide entertainment for us, and win honors for their countries.句型2：Such