大学英语六级写作经典范文及点评.doc

大学英语六级写作经典范文及点评1.大学生自我创业已经不是一个新鲜的话题了。那么自我创业有何利，又有何弊呢?看过本文之后你就知道了。或许这对面临毕业的你还是个不小的帮助呢!Self employmentSelf employment could bring many advantages. One of the advantages of being self-employed is that the profit the business makes belongs to the owner. If the self-employed person succeeds in business, he has the chance to earn a great deal of money. The profit earned is the reward for the owners effort, ability and creativity. Thus, a second advantage is that a persons intelligence and abilities have a direct effect on the earnings. A third advantage of being self-employed is that a person can control his working hours. While not all self-employed people are completely free, most of them have more control over this area than the salaried people.However, being self-employed is not without problems. First, being ones own boss places the responsibility directly on that individual shoulders. Everyone has some weaknesses in a certain aspects. These weaknesses will affect how successful a self-employed person is. Second, though the self-employed can earn considerable profits with a successful business, losses can force them out of business and sometimes, place them in debt. A third disadvantage concerns income security. Self-employed people have no guaranteed wage. Their earnings can vary greatly, depending on business conditions. Salaried people, however, can generally count on continued earnings. In addition, salaried people often enjoy fringe benefits that mean greater peace of mind. One of these benefits may be insurance paid for by the employer that continues the employees salary in the event of sickness or accident while many self-employed people do not have such protection.253 words行文点评文章结构简单明了。第一段阐述了自我创业的3个好处。第二段分析了自我创业所存在的问题。两段中“first, second, third”的使用，不仅使文章在句式上显得条理分明，更在内容上体现了连贯性。词汇斟酌in debt 负债count on 指望，依靠fringe a.附加的，额外的;边缘的佳句临摹【注释】in the event of sth万一;倘若【临摹】In the event of his death Shelia will inherit the money.一旦他故去，希拉就会继承这笔钱。思如泉涌Something attempted, something done. 有尝试就会有收获。Actions speak louder than words. 行动胜于语言。有些人并非特别聪明，却能得到大家的认可和支持。我们说这些人有个人魅力。个人魅力不仅源于聪明、诚实等优秀品质，还源于与他人交往时的态度和技巧。Communicating a Sense of Personal PowerCommunicating a sense of personal power comes from a belief that you can reach your goals in your own way. Powerful people give others power and encourage others to express themselves openly. You communicate a sense of personal power by developing these traits:AuthorityAuthority is inner confidence a trust in your skills and abilities. It comes from the inside, from an attitude of “I can do that”. “I deserve success”.This attitude radiates outward as you assert your right, honestly ask for what you want and need, and develop a willingness to give to others and yourself.Being self-assuredSelf-assured behavior is active, direct, and honest. It communicates an impression of self-respect and respect for others.By being self-assured, we view our wants, needs, and rights as equal with those of others. A self-assured person wins by influencing, listening, and negotiating so that other people choose to cooperate willingly.AccessibilityThe powerful person is a master net worker. Good networking increases your visibility and gives you a valuable circle of people from whom you can give and receive support and information. Imagine yourself as the center of a wheel surrounded by spokes of contacts.ImageYou communicate power through your image. Do you project an image consistent with strong leadership? Stand tall and walk proudly, remembering that you have value as a person. When you meet others, make direct contact and keep your handshake firm and friendly. Clearly state who you are and what you do.Communication habitsTake a deep breath to project a firm voice. Avoid slang, and jargon, and vocal hesitations that can hinder effective communication. Use only the body movements and gestures necessary to make your point, no more. Learn how to write clearly and concisely.312 words词汇斟酌trait n. 显著的特点, 特性authority n. 权威, 威信, 权威人士radiate vt. 放射, 辐射, 传播assert v. 断言, 声称negotiate v. (与某人)商议, 谈判, 磋商,accessibility n. 易接近, 可到达spoke n. 辐条slang n. 俚语jargon n. 行话佳句临摹【注释】be consistent with一致，相符【临摹】What you said now is not consistent with what you said last week. 你现在说的话与你上星期说的话不相符。思如泉涌As a mans heart is, so does he speak. 言为心声。A great talker is a great liar. 最会饶舌的人也是最会说谎的人。2.很多人都认为那些身处象牙塔的大学生们过得很安逸，其实不然。他们每天也要面临着很多压力：高额学费带来的经济压力，父母要求过高所带来的精神压力College PressureI see two kinds of pressure working on college students today: economic pressure, parental pressure. It is easy to look around for rebels to blame the colleges for charging too much money, the parents for pushing them too far. But there are no rebels, only victims.The pressure is heavy on students who just want to graduate and get a job. If I were an employer I would rather employ graduates who have this range and curiosity than those who narrowly pursued safe subjects and high grades. I know incalculable students whose inquiring minds cheer me. I like to hear the play of their ideas. I dont know if they are getting A or C, and I dont care. I also like them as people. The country needs them, and they will find satisfying jobs. I tell them to relax, but they cant.Nor can I blame them. They live in a brutal economy. Today it is not unusual for a student, even if he works part time at college and full time during the summer, to increase to 5, 000 in loans after graduation.Encouraged at commencement to go forth into the world, he is already behind as he goes forth. How could he not feel under pressure throughout college to prepare for this day of reckoning?Along with economic pressure goes parental pressure. Inevitably, the two are deeply integrated.Poor students! They are caught in one of the oldest webs of love and duty and guilt. The parents mean well: they are trying to steer their sons and daughters toward a secure future. But the sons and daughters want to major in history or classics or philosophysubjects with no “practical” value. Wheres the payoff on the humanities? Its not easy to persuade such loving parents that the humanities do indeed pay off. The intellectual faculties developed by studying subjects like history and classics are just the faculties that make creative leaders in business or almost any general field.Luckily for me, most of them got into their field by an indirect route, to their surprise, after many roundabout ways. They can hardly conceive of a career that was not preplanned. They can hardly imagine allowing the hand of God or chance to nudge them down some unforeseen trail.391 words行文点评本文脉络清晰。第一段第一句直接点题，提出大学生面临的两种压力：economic pressure和 parental pressure。段末“victims”一词的运用，奠定了本文的感情基调：作者对大学生担负的压力感到同情。第二段和第三段中分析了大学生在经济上面临压力的原因。第四段是过渡段。第五段阐述了父母的压力对大学生的影响，用一个感叹句开头，具有烘托感情的效果,充分表达了作者对大学生的同情。最后一段排比句的应用从相反的方面描述，更把大学生所遭受的压力凸显出来。好文妙译词汇斟酌rebel n.反叛分子，反对者victim n.牺牲品，受害者curiosity n.好奇(心)brutala.残忍的,无情的，冷酷的commencement n.开始毕业典礼，学位授予典礼reckoning n.结算，清算inevitably ad.不可避免地steer vt.引导faculty n.能力，技能，天赋roundabout a.绕道的，绕圈子的conceive vi.(of)构想出，设想nudge vt.用肘轻推，推进佳句临摹【注释】a day of reckoning 得到惩罚的日子【临摹】Youre enjoying yourself now, but a day of reckoning will come.别看你现在逍遥，将来会遭报应的。思如泉涌No sweet without sweat. 先苦后甜。Pain past is pleasure. 过去的痛苦就是快乐。 3.我们或许不能像伟人那样超凡脱俗，但可以时时借助幽默来使自己开心，使自己超脱尘世的种种烦恼。漫画就是这样的一种幽默形式。Art and HumorMillions of people struggle out of bed each morning, fumble into some clothes, and make their way to a cup of coffee and the morning newspaper. They need something cheerful to remind them that the rest of the day will be less difficult than getting up. This need may be the reason that many of them turn their half-opened eyes to the comics section of the newspaper as they sip their first cups of coffee of the day.Cartoons reflect the times and the troubles and worries of people. They give people an opportunity to laugh at themselves and at familiar situations. For example, a cartoon might say that the government of a country is responsible for the bad economy and also show the government leaders as a group of ridiculous people. Being able to use the leaders as scapegoats and to laugh at the leaders somehow makes people feel better about their situation.Cartoons also make people laugh at their own personal worries. Young people who are not always sure of how to act can smile at their awkwardness. Old people whose grown children pay little attention to them can chuckle at their neglect and loneliness. Students who have studied too little before an examination can laugh at their anxiety. Everyones problems are made biggerthanlife in the comics. Perhaps the problems seem funny because there is humor in something that is real being made unreal.A cartoon combines art and humor. When it is skillfully done, a simple line drawing and a few words can make people laugh. Their troubles seem less important, and they enjoy life more fully.276 words行文点评这篇文章结构比较清晰。第一段提出观点：漫画可以令人快乐，作者用了struggle out of bed, fumble into some clothes, 形象地展示了一个大多数读者都非常熟悉的生活场景。第二、三段从公众和个人的角度说明，漫画反映人们的时代和生活特点;每段的第一句话都是主题句(topic sentence)，即每一段都在第一句提出这一段的分论点，再对其加以论证。第四段总结全文，点明文章的主题。文中排比句的运用，比如第三段中对不同类型人的笑的描述Young people Old people Students ，也值得读者在写作中借鉴。词汇斟酌fumble v. 笨拙地做，摸索comic n. 连环画页，连环漫画sip v. 呷，啜ridiculous a.荒谬的, 可笑的scapegoat n.替罪羊awkwardness n.笨拙, 不雅观chuckle vi.吃吃的笑, 咯咯叫佳句临摹【解析】make ones way (to/toward sth)向前进【临摹】Ill make my way home now.我现在要回家了。思如泉涌It is a great art to laugh at your own misfortune. 对己之不幸付之一笑，这是一门伟大的艺术。Art lies in concealing art. 隐而不露即艺术。4.出国留学也许是很多学生梦寐以求的事情。很多家长也愿意让孩子出国去“镀金”，或丰富人生经历。但或许他们没有想到过留学在外也会面临着一些潜在的危险。Studying OverseasStudy overseas can be the adventure of a lifetime, and the majority of these experiences are healthy and safe. But, unless some simple precautions are taken, a young person living without a parent in a foreign country can encounter cultural disorientation and real, physical dangers. While auto and motorcycle accidents are a primary cause for concern, there are a host of other factors that need to be considered, preferably, well in advance of a students departure.There are the familiar risks of unsafe sex and illegal drugs. No different from home, you say? Traveling students and their parents often dont realize how cultural and legal differences can enhance these “risk factors.” Simply put, what is “safe” or tolerated behavior in the United States can be interpreted quite differently in a foreign country.In a strange place with new rules, even responsible teenagers may occasionally “lose their heads” and take chances that they wouldnt normally take, like traveling unaccompanied to a strange country, not telling anyone where they are, or buying or selling on the black market. As a result, young travelers can easily find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.Still, college students often reason that “horror stories” about incarcerated Americans overseas “will never happen to me!” In his MP article Legal Rights of Travelers, international law expert Jeffrey R. Miller describes some of the penalties facing the errant traveler. These can be extreme by American standards.However, safety is indeed everyones responsibility. The school program, the parents and the student all need to take part. Avoid potentially troublesome situations because as a foreigner you are more vulnerable. Be more cautious than at home. Heres an obvious but critically important safety rule: Always let someone know where you are and never travel alone.298 words行文点评文章第一段便指出，出国留学除了考虑健康和人身安全之外，还要考虑到更多其他的因素。第二段指出最常见的安全隐患。第三段指出陌生环境下孩子们可能的反常行为。第四段指出孩子们对安全问题掉以轻心的态度。第五段总结全文，并提出了一些安全建议。本文语句十分地道，句式多样。段落之间存在的一些具有连接功能的词语，如still, however等，让文章连贯性更强。词汇斟酌precaution n.预防，防备，警惕encounter vt.遇见，遭遇disorientation n.迷失interpret vt.解释，诠释incarcerate v.将某人监禁penalty n.触发，惩罚errant a.为冒险而周游的vulnerable a.易受伤害的佳句临摹【注释】a host of sb/sth 大群，众多，许多(人或事物)【临摹】I cant come, for a whole host of reasons.由于种种原因，我来不了。【注释】in advance of sth 预先;事前【临摹】Galileos ideas were well in advance of the age in which he lived.伽利略的思想远远超越了他所在的那个时代。思如泉涌Look before you leap. 三思而后行。When at Rome, do as the Romans do. 入乡随俗。5.学生上大学的目的各不相同：探索知识，充实自己;改变自身处境，谋求好的社会地位;满足父母的期望还有人从未认真想过。The Purpose of SchoolHave you ever asked yourself why children go to school? You will probably say that they go to learn their own language and other languages, arithmetic, geography, geometry, history, science and all the other subjects. That is quite true, but why do they learn these things? And are these things all that they learn at school?We send our children to school to prepare them for the time when they will be big and will have to work for themselves. They learn their own language so that they will be able to tell others clearly what they want and what they know, and understand what others tell them. They learn foreign languages in order to be able to benefit from what people in other countries have written and said and in order to make people from other countries understand what they themselves mean. They learn arithmetic in order to be able to measure and count things in their daily life, geography in order to know something about the world around them, and history to know something about human beings they meet every day. Nearly everything they study at school has some practical use in their life, but is that the only reason why they go to school?No. There is more in education than just learning facts. We go to school, above all, to learn how to learn, so that, when we have left school, we can continue to learn. A man who really knows how to learn will always be successful, because whenever he has to do something new which he has never had to do before, he will rapidly teach himself how to do it in the best way. The uneducated person, on the other hand, is either unable to do something new, or does it badly.The purpose of schools, therefore, is not just to teach languages, arithmetic, geography, etc., but teach pupils the way to learn.330 words行文点评全文结构清晰、脉络分明。开篇点题，提出问题：为什么要上学。第二段阐述观点，指出学习每一门课程的目的，接着作者笔锋一转，用一个but提出质疑：上学的惟一理由就是把学校里学的一切在现实中应用吗?在第三段作者针对这个问题提出观点，即上学的真正目的就是学会如何学习。本文细致地分析了接受学校教育的目的。文章虽短，但层层深入，说理透彻，发人深思。词汇斟酌arithmetic n.算术geometry n.几何prepare sb. for sth. 让某人为某事做好准备佳句临摹【注释】above all 最重要的;尤其【临摹】He longs above all to see his family again.他尤其渴望再见到家里人。【注释】on the other hand 另一方面【临摹】I want to go to the party, but on the other hand I ought to be studying. 我想去参加聚会，但从另一方面来说，我应该留下来学习。思如泉涌Art is long, but life is short. 人生有涯，而学无涯。What is learned in the cradle is carried to the grave. 儿时所学，终生难忘。6.望与生俱来，人人都有。它可以催人上进，使人奋起，创造事业辉煌;也可以使人得陇望蜀，永不满足，最终陷于痛苦。如何看待，如何运用，不同人的心中有一杆不同的秤AppetiteOne of the major pleasures in life is appetite, and one of our major duties should be to preserve it. Appetite is the keenness of living: it is one of the senses that tells you that you are still curious to exist, that you still have an edge on your longings and want to bite into the world and taste its numerous flavors and juices. By appetite, of course, I dont mean just the desire for food, but any condition of unsatisfied desire, any burning in the blood that proves you want more than youve got, and that you havent used up your life. Wilde said he felt sorry for those who never got their hearts desire, but sorrier still for those who did. For appetite, for me, is this state of wanting, which keeps ones expectations alive.I remember learning this lesson long ago as a child, when treats and indulgence were few, and when I discovered that the greatest pitch happiness was not in actually eating a toffee but in gazing at it beforehand. True, the first bite was delicious, but once the toffee was gone one was left with nothing, neither toffee nor lust. Besides, the whole toffeeness of toffees was imperceptibly diminished by the gross act of having eating it. No, the best was in wanting it, in sitting and looking at it, when one tasted an endless treasure house of flavors. So, for me, one of the keenest pleasures of appetite remains in the wanting, not the satisfaction. In wanting a peach, or a whisky, or a particular texture or sound, or to be with a particular friend, for in those condition, of course, I know that the object of desire is always at its most flawlessly perfect. For that matter, I dont want three square meals a day I want one huge, delicious, orgiastic, table groaning blow out, say every four days, and then not be too sure where the next one is coming from. A day of fasting is not for me just a device for denying oneself a pleasure, but rather a way of anticipating a rarer moment of supreme enjoyment.360 words行文点评作者开篇点题，指出One of the major pleasures in life is appetite。进而作者给appetite下了一个定义，即对任何事物的渴望。接着用王尔德的话引出作者的观点： Appetite is the state of wanting。在第二段中，作者用I remember.讲述了自己吃太妃糖的亲身经历，描述生动形象，贴近生活，由这段经历作者引出了文章的主题欲望最大的乐趣在于对之渴求，而非满足。作者谈的是食欲(appetite)，却又不仅仅谈对食物的热望。作者由小见大，由食欲谈及欲望(desire)，及其满足(satisfaction)。文章充满智慧(wits)，是一篇上佳的小品文。读者应能够体会作者刻意营造的一种轻灵跳跃(staccato)之感：No, the best was in wanting it, in sitting and looking at it(不，最重要的是对它的渴望和坐下来盯着它看的感觉)。这句话充分体现了作者有极高的驾驭语言的能力。词汇斟酌appetite n.胃口，食欲欲望keenness n.渴望numerous a.众多的，许多的flavor n.味，滋味，味道特色，风味indulgencen.放任pitchn.程度，强度beforehandad.预先，事先lustn.渴望，欲望vi.(after, for)对有强烈的欲望imperceptibly ad.察觉不到地, 微细地diminish vi.变少，变小，降低vt.减少，减小，降低orgiastic a.狂欢的groan vi.呻吟，抱怨发出呻吟的声音fast v.禁食，斋戒device n.手段，策略