国际商务礼仪word 文档讲义初始版.doc

Lecture One An Introduction to the CourseI. Why do we learn about etiquette1. To learn about etiquette is to acknowledge and appreciate the changing tastes and styles of our dynamic contemporary society.2. To learn about etiquette is to maintain good manners.Good manners come from the inside and do not change.Good manners base on kindness and respect, which transcend etiquette.3. Etiquette rules come from the outside and they are constantly changing. The rules in school are different from the rules in the office. And the rules also change with time.4. Knowing the rules is essential because it puts you in the position of knowing when it is appropriate to break or bend them.5. This course is designed to give you the rules.6. In every human situation, there is 1) the correct action2) the incorrect action3) the appropriate action7. We know that there are times when only “the right thing” will do whether it is a gift, a formal invitation, or a letter of congratulation or condolence. 8. Everyday we search for the appropriate object or the correct bit of information conveniently and pleasantly. This course offers the same sort of convenience.II. What can we learn about etiquette in this course?Well learn about 1. How to be at ease in the business world2. How to be at ease meeting and greeting3. How executive to be at ease with staff, peers and superiors.4. The companys image presenter: the receptionists5. Table manners6. How to handle job situations7. Etiquette in the workplace 8. Home entertaining9. Public speaking10. Traveling 11. Wedding and funeral In a word, this course will provide you with information in the following three areas:1. graciousness2. courtesy3. kindnessIII. How to be at ease in business world1. Knowing when to say “please”Question: how many times a day should one say “please”?Answer: As many times as possible.2. Knowing how to apologizeWays in which to say “Im sorry”1) If you misdial someone on the phone, say “Im sorry, wrong number” rather than just slam down the receiver in the other persons ear.2) If you do something really hurtful, such as forgetting an appointmentto telephone your sincere apologyfollow it up with a personal note of apologysend flowers or a gift of some kind, such as fruit, wine or candy, to reinforce your apology.3) If you arrive late at a meeting, apologize to the chairman or the host and to the others you have kept waiting.4) If you do something like bump a person as you move rapidly through a hallway, react quickly with a sincere “Im sorry, I certainly didnt mean to do that.3. Knowing how to say “thank you”Ways in which to say “thank you” for favors or gifts.1) Spoken is convenient if you happen to run into the person, but it is careless and not very effective.2) Telephone is effective but only if done within 24 hours. If the call is made after that, it seems like an afterthought, not a sincere gesture.3) Written is the most effective because it is on the record and can be shown around and reread.4) If someone (a stranger) does something nice, like picking up something you just dropped on the street but didnt notice, tell him with a warm smile of appreciation that he has really “made your day”l When you give someone in your office too much work to do on an emergency basis, use all three of theses phrases: “please do it!”“Im sorry to have to ask you to do this!”“Thank you very much for doing it!”4. Knowing how to give and accept compliments.A smart manager compliments the staff.Compliment your peers.Nothing can take the wind out of a persons sails faster than to have ones compliment rejected.Lecture Two Meeting and Greeting 2.1 The Art of Introducing People The protocol of making proper introductions is very logical. You properly introduce a lesser to a more important or senior person. You would introduce: A younger person to an old person. A peer in your company to a peer in another company. A junior executive to a senior executive. A fellow executive to a customer or client. An unofficial person to an official person. A fellow in your own country to a peer from another country. A guest to a host. A gentleman to a lady. Explain who people are when you introduce them “Mr. Cogwell, I want my daughter, Cynthia, to meet you. Cynthia, this is Mr. Cogwell, the president of this company.” (Y to O) “Jane, Id like to introduce Harry Newman, my nephew. Harry, this is Dr. Jane Arrowsmith, head of our hospital.” (J to S) When you shake somebodys hand, you can touch his body. When you are introducing a younger person to an older one, for example, touch the arm of the older person and say his name first, then, symbolically, in your mind, bring up the junior person whose arm you are touching. This is the way youll remember how to introduce people to people of rank and status. Give information when you introduce someone. Dont just introduce people by name at a business party without giving their firms or profession or some piece of information that can serve as a jumping off point for conversation in that group. Remember to use titles when introducing people You may know that woman well as “Jennifer Garrett”. When youre introducing her, its important to give her title. Introduce her as “Dr. Jennifer Garrett”. Your brother may be your brother, but when introducing him, if he is a judge, he should be referred to as “my brother, Judge William Taylor”. A man youre introducing may have been your college roommate but if he is of high political or appointive office, the people to whom youre presenting him should know it. Therefore, introduce him as “Steve Li, Project manager of the World Bank” instead of just “Steve Li”. People want to know to whom theyre speaking, so they can make appropriate comments.Titles: Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms, Comrade, Doctor, Professor, General, Sister, Lady, Lord, President, Premier, Judge, Mayor 2.2 Whats in a name? It means everything to the person you are properly introducing to in your business life. It means everything to the person who you are introducing the newcomer, who will want to learn the other persons name correctly so that she wont be embarrassed later by having to ask for it again. When saying our names, we need to slow down and pronounce our names slowly, clearly and distinctly. We may feel as though we are exaggerating our names, but it eases the problem of communication. Pay attention to peoples last names, learn the names of everyone with whom you interact When a manager remembers his contacts full names, theyre flattered, their egos are enhanced, and relationships become more cordial as a result. If you forget someones entire name when you know him wellIf you have a total lapse of memory, dont worry, it happens to us all. Just laugh and make a joke of it: “sometimes I cant even remember my own mothers name”. Confess on the spot. You will be forgiven, because every single person in this world forgets names. You will always be forgivenunless you do it to your future mother-in-law, who is against the marriage. Be a sport Since its possible that the person you know has forgotten your name and cannot introduce you, help him out. Stick your hand out and give him your name: “hello, Jim Schubert, good to see you”, to which he will reply: “Jim, did you think I had forgotten your name? Of course, he has, but everyone is smiling, being introduced all around, everyone is happy, and you have saved the day by simply coming out with your name right away. When people Mis-introduce youIf someone repeatedly mis-introduce you, dont make a dramatic episode out of it, put a big smile on your face and whisper in the persons ear: “Just thought youd like to know that my name is Jane Merson, not Mason.” (the underlined words show politeness) Remembering Names takes practices1. The ability to remember names is an outstanding asset.2. Concentration is the key to remembering a large number of them.3. Some tips1) When you meet a person, concentrate on his name as its given to you.2) Repeat it mentally while you say it aloud. You might say as your mind repeats the name silently two or three times.3) You also search for an identifying word association.He may have unusual colored eyes, or wrestlers shoulders.4) If the name can be used in a word association with the person himself, concentrate on that.“Mr. Burns, red hair”, “Mr. Long, very tall”, “Mrs. McIntosh, wearing a raincoat”, etc.5) Remember one silent detail and it will fasten to that persons name.6) If you dont understand a name, dont be shy about asking for the name again.7) If the person repeats it but you still do not understand, ask for another repetition. Then you repeat it aloud, his name will now stick in your mind.8) If his name is very complicated, ask him for his business card.9) If he doesnt have one, ask him to write his name on10) If you see someone youve met before but cant remember the name, say sth. like “I remember meeting you at Holiday Inn lunch last spring. Im Agnes Catwell.”11) The other person should be flattered that you care enough to want to know. 2.3 HandshakeA handshake is your first physical contact with someone, flesh to flesh. A desirable handshake feels: Firm, strong, representative of a person who makes decisions, take risks, and above all, takes charge. Warm and enthusiastic as if you are really glad to meet someone. Dry, pleasant to the touch. An undesirable handshake feels: Hesitant, apologetic, almost as if you were saying: “I dont really want to shake your hand, nor am I a decision maker.” Wet and clammy, or cold, as though you have been holding an iced drink all day. Weak, slippery, lifeless, like a handful of dead fish. Just as negative is the bone crusher handshake, which makes the other person feel in need of having his hand checked. When do you shake hands? When you run into someone you know When you say goodbye to the same person When someone comes in from the outside to see you in your office and when he leaves. When someone enters your home, or when you enter someone elses home When you meet someone you know in a restaurant. When youre introduced to people in any business or social situation, and when you take leave of them. When you are congratulating someone-after a speech, after an award presentation. When do you not shake hands? When the other person has his or her hands full When the person you want to greet is someone much higher ranked than you and to whom you really have nothing to say. In this case, it would look pushy for you to rush up to shake his hand. Points of protocol in handshaking If you enter a group, shake hands first with your host Shake hands with the host again when you leave. Sometimes this is not possible as when the host of your gathering is surrounded by people and it would be rude for you to interrupt. Use your common sense. If you can easily get to the host to thank him for the meeting, social event, or whatever, fine, shake his hand in goodbye. If you cant easily get to him, leave and telephone him next day or leave a note for him to give your thanks. If someone doesnt see your hand extended and doesnt offer his or her hand to you, just draw back your hand and smile. When a lady meets a gentleman, it is the lady who offers her hand first. When you have cold or clammy hands If you have a tendency to have cold hands, stick your right hand in your jacket pocket to warm it up as you approach a situation in which youll be shaking hands. Dont hold iced drinks in your right hand. Hold them in your left so that your shaking hand is nice hand dry If you have perennially clammy hands, before you shake someone elses hand, give a quick swipe of your right hand on your skirt or trousers, so that when you present it, its dry. You can do it very quickly and gracefully, no one will be aware that you make the gesture.2.4 Business Card Business cards play a very important role in trade. They serve as a means of introduction and as a way to ensure that your acquaintance can at a glance glean - and later refer to - your professional details. Given the fact that most companies spend a great deal of time and money designing their business cards, it makes sense to treat them as an effective business tool. Take your time while handing your card to people. It is impossible to convey respect if you simply toss your card at someone - you will come across as being brash and rude. In many countries, it is considered an insult for a guest to be the first to proffer a business card. If at all possible, have your card translated into the local language. One side of the card should be in English and the opposite side in the local language. This conveys that you are considerate, polite and most importantly, that you are aware of - and sensitive to - the nuances of conducting business internationally. Presenting a card with two hands conveys respect. When using both hands, hold your card by the two upper corners. Make sure you are carrying more cards than you will need. In some countries, you will need two for each one-to-one visit, as it is customary for the secretary to keep one card. Ideally, you should carry your business cards in a small, discreet case. If you dont have a card case with you, put your cards in a front or side pocket. When you receive a business card from someone else, pause and take time to read it. Use the opportunity to repeat the persons name out loud, especially if it is in a language youre not familiar with - you will be corrected if your pronunciation is off the mark. While it is acceptable for you to write on your own card, never write on someone elses business card - it shows a lack of respect for the owner of the card. Exchanging Business Cards: Dos and Donts of Business IntroductionsExchanging business cards can be a smooth transaction, or it could be an awkward sitation. Use this guide to plan ahead so that you are ready when someone asks for your business card. Do be prepared Always have a handful with you to present to potential clients or other business associates, even on the weekends. Youll find that many important contacts and business card exchanges can take place in the most unlikely places. Dont hand out torn or worn business cards Make sure they are clean and crisp with no frayed edges or pen marks. The best method of keeping your cards in neat form is a business card case. With designs ranging from techie to artsy to formal, you are bound to find one that fits your style and personality. Do make it a point to hand out business cards It doesnt take a large convention to bring customers and business owners together. Informal meetings are one of the best times to network and exchange business cards. If the person you are speaking with seems interested in your product or service you represent, offer that person a business card. Do receive a business card properly When accepting a business card, have a good look at it for a few seconds. In your conversation, offer a compliment about the logo, design, etc. Dont hand out more than one card to a new contact Only give one business card to your new contact. Leaving two or three may give the signal that you want them to make contacts for you which is tacky and unprofessional. Unless a prior agreement is made to exchange more than one card, keep the focus on person-to-person contact. Do exchange business cards smoothly When you first meet someone, its ok to request a business card from them provided you have offered yours first. If the person is of a higher position than yourself, you should wait for them to offer their card to you first. Remember if they want you to have a card, they will give you one! Dont place it in a bag, pocket or wallet Place the business card you receive in a planner or notebook or on the table in front of you. Never place the card in a wallet that will be put in your back pocket. Doing so shows disrespect and an all around lack of organization on your part. Do take advantage of free advertising Local restaurants often hang a bulletin board near the front counter for business cards to be posted. You can also place your business card in the collection cups for drawings or mixers. Theyre offering you free advertising, so be ready to take advantage.2.5 Being at Ease in Moving AroundSome people always move suddenly, jerkly, noisily. The right way to move is quietly and effortlessly, so no one is even aware of your movements.People who speak and laugh loudly as they move through an area upset the chain of thoughts of others around them who may be trying to concentrate (The noisy movers generally are people of low-self-esteem, who are seeking to be noticed.)While moving around you are supposed to know the following: Keep your eyes open when you move among people in public, look around you; be aware of others When you enter a room or having people entering your office, give the best seat to your client or customer-or senior manager When your must move quickly among people, perhaps carrying sth. that may hit them, look where youre going, apologize left and right with sincerity. And smile at the people in most cases, their anger levels will be lowered by your apologetic behavior.Getting Through Doors In the old days, ladies always preceded gentlemen going through doors, and in addition, a door was always rather ceremoniously hold open for her. Be a door holder for others. It doesnt matter if you are male or female, holding a door for the person coming behind is a common c