安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2020届高考英语 考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作外教旁批写作 (17)

安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2020届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作（十八）李民对电脑很感兴趣。上个月父母为他买了一台电脑。现在他已学会如何操作。他可以利用电脑做很多事。学生习作外教批改Li Ming is very much interested in computers1.To his joy，his parents bought him one on2 for her3 his birthday last week and he couldnt wait to learn4 how to operate it.The5 computer has changed Li Mings life a_lot6 as it can processes7 information quickly and efficiently.For example，by surfing the Internet，he can be informed8 of what is happening in the world any time.Shopping online is easy and time_saving9 saves time.Instead of going to shops, he just sits in front of the screen and places an order for what he wants to buy.A wide choice of goods10 helps him to make a better purchase.Also he often does research on the Internet for the information he needs for his paper school work.During the his leisure time，computers11 games and movies help Li Ming relax and bring him fun12 enjoyment.In_a_word13，the computer helps Li Ming a lot in many ways.旁批1泛泛谈论一类事物时，可数名词应该用复数形式，不带冠词a或the。2正确的用法是：buy something for someone。3不要改变所谈论对象的性别。4这个短语用得很好！5这里特指那台电脑，是李民的父母为他买的那台。因此，需要用定冠词the。6如果将a lot换作dramatically，语气更强。7can等情态动词之后必须接动词原形。8这里被动态用得很好！9原句表达不恰当，参见改写后的句子。10单词goods指商品，一般为复数，所以应加s。11本句中computer是名词作定语，不要用复数形式。12正确的说法是have fun或sb.be brought enjoyment。13这个说法比较老套，尽量不要用，可以用In conclusion。这是一篇尚好的作文。作者写出了题目要求的内容，正确运用了多种句型，列举了一些很好的使用计算机的实例，并且词汇量很大，贴近主题。要进一步提高本篇作文的水平，作者需要更好地理解所选词汇的准确内涵。记住：英语的词汇是所有语言中最多的，有许多词的含义非常特别，只能用于特定的上下文之中。例如，fun和enjoyment的含义非常相近，但用法却截然不同。高分作文秘诀之十一：句子结构要多样化。例如：Instead of (不要说：)There is a teaching building on the left side of the school.There is a library on the right.In it there are all kinds of books，newspapers and magazines.There is a new playground in front of the school.Use (要说：)Entering the school，youll find a teaching building on its left side.There is a library standing on the right，in which books，newspapers and magazines are stored.In front of the school lies a new playground.Instead of (不要说：)I received your letter which was written on August 15th this morning.Use (要说：)Your letter of August 15th reached me this morning.Instead of (不要说：)We were glad to see crops and vegetables growing well.Use (要说：)How glad we were to see crops and vegetables growing well.Write an English composition in about 100 to 120 words，according to the points given in Chinese.1爷爷送我电脑；2决心学好电脑，答谢爷爷；3有志成为电脑专家。_参考范文：I have got a computer of my own at last. It is a present from my grandfather. He knows the world situation clearly. He says that using a computer is a must in the modern world. When he learned that I was interested in the machine but I did not have one, he immediately told me that he would offer me one. Now with the machine in front, I feel grateful to my grandfather. I promise him that I will do my best to acquire the knowledge and skill so that I can make good use of it. I will not only learn how to operate the computer, but also make programmes on it. If possible, I will l