幽默用英语说范文

幽默用英语说范文 幽默、搞笑的中英文翻译大全 本人见过的最邪门的翻译 电影 国产007=From Bei _g with Love从北京带着爱 唐伯虎点秋香=Flirting Scholar正在调情的学者 鹿鼎记（黄晓明版 陈小春版 梁朝伟版） =Royal Tramp皇家流浪汉 英雄本色=A Better Tomorrow明天会更好 神雕侠侣(内地版 古天乐版 刘德华版)=Saviour of the Soul灵魂的救星 三国演义=Romance of Three Kingdoms三个王国的罗曼史 赤壁Red Cliff红岩 霸王别姬=Farewell My Concubine再见了，我的小老婆 东邪西毒=Ashes of Time时间的灰烬（这个译名意味深长，无论你是东邪还是西毒，武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬？） 甲方乙方=Dream Factory梦工厂 烈火金刚=Steel Meets Fire钢遇上了火 刘三姐=Third Sister Liu第三个姐姐刘 花样年华=In the Mood for Love在爱的情绪中 五讲、四美、三热爱 大学校园里，流行五讲、四美、三热爱，中国人把其翻译成：five talks ,four beauty ,three lovers.美国人一听迷惑了five talks敢情是谈了五个，four beauty敢情是谈了五个，其中有四个是美人，那么three lovers一定是爱上了四个美人中的三个（笑声不断）。 武林秘籍的英文翻译 冲灵剑法 GG and MM s soul sword (GG和MM的灵魂之剑 ，听起来好像很熟悉 ) 九阳神功 nine mans power (九个男子的力量) 九阴真经 nine womanstory (九个女人的故事) 九阴白骨爪 nine woman catch a white bone (九个女人抓著一个白骨，老外看了还以为会出现召唤兽呢) 历史上最强的翻译 1we two who and who？ 咱俩谁跟谁阿 2how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？ 3you dont bird me, I dont bird you 你不 鸟我，我也不 鸟你 4you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！ 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！ 5hello everybody! f you have something to say, then say! if you have nothing to say, go home! 有事起奏，无事退朝 6you me you me 彼此彼此 7You Give Me Stop! 你给我站住！ 8know is know no know is no know 知之为知之， 不知为不 。 9WATCH SISTER 表妹 10dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse son can make hole! 龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞 11.American Chinese not enough 美中不足 12.one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng, people die 车祸现场描述(一辆车来一辆车走，两车“嘭嘭“，人死了) 13.heart flower angry open 心花怒放 14.go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过 15.小明： I am sorry! 老外： I am sorry too! 小明： I am sorry three! 老外： What are you sorry for? 小明： I am sorry five! 16.If you want money, I have no; if you want life, I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条！ 17.I call Li old big, to year 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。 18you have two down son. 你有两下子 horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎 people mountain people sea 人山人海 If you tiger me, I will mountain you. 你唬我我就扇你 you ask me, me ask who? 你问我我问谁 one poor two white; 一穷二白 eat tofu; 吃豆腐 give you a color to see see! 给你点颜色看看 no good see 不好看 no door! 没门 老师叫翻译Who is this man? 答：这是谁的男人？ 全班大笑，老师无语。 we two who and who! 译：咱俩谁跟谁啊！ How are you? How old are you? 译：怎么是你？怎么老是你？ YOU have seed i will give you some color see see, brothers! together up! 译：你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧。兄弟们，一起上！ I call Li old big.toyear25. 译：我叫李老大，今年25. As far as you go to die! 译：要多远死多远！ 800yuan, eat you, sleep you. 译：800块，吃你的，住你的 一次为一个初中小孩搞家教，在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼：爸死（bus）爷死( yes )哥死（girls）妹死（Mis）死光（school）good good study, day day up 好好学习，天天向上 三字经 人之初： At the begining of life. 性本善： Sex is good. 性相近： Basically,all the sex are same. 习相远： But it depends on how the way you do it. 苟不教： If you do not practise all the time. 性乃迁： Sex will leave you. 篇一：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他. i dont understand, he said. 我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k. 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系. later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?. 后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say.所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的.the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭. finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered. 上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人. i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirthand the rejection even from her own children. 我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会于自己的孩子. i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言. i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly.she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears. 我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候 她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧 i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faultsand i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. 我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏 i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心 for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness. when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难， 我也同样赐她流下眼泪， 这是当她在需要时可以使用的， 这是她唯一的软弱之处 当你看到她哭泣的时候， 告诉她你有多么地爱她， 告诉她她为所有人所做的一切， 即使这样她可能还是会哭泣， 但你会使她的心里得到安慰 she is special! please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,sisters, and special women in their lives. 她是独特的！ 请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人， 有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人 but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.篇二：英语演讲幽默开场白 英语演讲幽默开场白 作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。 作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲一个著名的演讲相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛特别是计划委员会。 幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。 演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program - and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast. 幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。 过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是 _会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是 _，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。 i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, im standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes 幽默注释：把观众想象成 _，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。 创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。 我本人不自负我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 personally, i have never been conceited - and i cant tell you how much i admire myself for that. 幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。 创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我. 我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。 let me put this into plain english. ill translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。 创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？ 如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。 if youve already heard this story, please dont stop me because its the only one i know. 幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。 创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。 演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。 making a speech is like watering a lawn. youre satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in. 幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。 幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。 创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。 before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited fortelevision. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2. 幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。 可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。 幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。 创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？篇三：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他. i dont understand, he said. 我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k. 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系. later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?. 后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say. 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的. the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. 等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭. finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered. 上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人. i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children. 我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会于自己的孩子. i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言. i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly. she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears. 我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候 她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧 i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. 我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏 i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. 我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心 for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness. when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. 因为这些种种的困难， 我也同样赐她流下眼泪， 这是当她在需要时可以使用的， 这是她唯一的软弱之处 当你看到她哭泣的时候， 告诉她你有多么地爱她， 告诉她她为所有人所做的一切， 即使这样她可能还是会哭泣， 但你会使她的心里得到安慰 she is special! 幽默趣味搞笑英语口语大全 Behind every suessful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后, 都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后, 都有两个。 Money is not everything. Theres Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要 _。 One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节?亢团岩黄鹣丛琛? Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。 The wise never marry, And w