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安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2020届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作(三十二)林宏的笔友莉莉今年夏天将来沪旅游。林宏去信表示欢迎,并准备去机场迎接。还告诉她上海有不少值得游玩的地方,他将陪同参观旅游。(用书信体写)学生习作外教批改Dear lily:1Lily,2Im very glad that youll_have_a_trip you are coming3 to Shanghai this summer.I cant wait to see meet4 you at the airport and show you around Shanghai.As we all know,Shanghai is the biggest city in China.Especially In these recent years,5 many great changes have taken place in Shanghai.She is a sea of which absorbs6 different cultures and customs and develops her own spirits,yet has developed her own very unique identity.Jinmao Tower is one of Shanghais most wellknown symbols.You cant7 really shouldnt miss a chance to visit it.We can have8 There is a good view of Shanghai from the 88th floor in_the Tower9.On January 1st,the Shanghais New Year concert by_which_Shanghai welcomes the new year10 was held in a new11 great new structure,the Shanghai Arts Center.12 Its located in Pudong and looks13 just like a beautiful butterfly.In the evening,the colourful lights on its roof will shine14 with the music playing15 as the music plays.I think youll like it.And in16 during your 7 day sevenday17 journey visit,I hope youll have a special day at last Well when we visit the Yu Garden,where the Shanghais traditional customs and culture can be seen.The food there is very really18 dilicoius delicious.Hope youll come soon.19 I cant wait to take you around and have a good time in Shanghai.Yours sinecerly20sincerelyLin Hong,旁批1标点符号使用不当。应该用逗号。现在,一般商业信件中,除了信的主体之外都省去标点。2人名的首字母一定要大写。3谈论将来的安排时应该用现在进行时态,不要用will。4用这个词更准确。5你在谈论最近几年发生的变化,所以应该用in recent years。原句Especially in these years表达很别扭。6absorb是个很好的词。遗憾的是,它用在这句话里不合适。absorb的意思是“吸收(液体、气体等)”,而海洋(the sea)不会吸收任何东西,它是液体,液体是被别的东西所吸收的,如:The sponge cloth quickly absorbed the spilled juice.(海绵布很快就将溢出的果汁吸干了。)7给出建议时用cant不合适,应该用shouldnt。8这个表达很别扭。参见改写后的句子。9不用再提读者已经明白的事。10原句太累赘。参见改写后的句子。11几个形容词修饰名词时,要遵循严格的顺序,不能随意改变位置。12专有名词的第一个字母要大写。13单词遗漏。look可以用来描述我们对所看到东西的印象。它的用法是:look形容词;look like名词;look as if/as though从句。14用一般现在时描述经常发生的事。15这个比喻不清楚。是指灯光随着音乐的节奏舞动吗?16这里应该用during。1710以下的数字要将单词拼写出来。18要强调delicious这个形容词,可以用absolutely,really或truly来修饰它。19你知道你的朋友会来,所以这句话是多余的。20拼写错误。另外,sincerely不适合用在给朋友的信中,常用于正式的商业信件。这是一篇尚好的作文。开头和结尾部分犯了一些书信写作方面的初级错误,正文中也有一些高中水平不该犯的语法和标点符号错误,如,人名的首字母不应该小写。尽管如此,作者毕竟回答了题目要求,内容也比较充实,使读者感到很有趣。高分作文秘诀之七:使用较高级词汇。例如:Instead of (不要说:)My English is getting better and better.Use (要说:)My English is improving.Instead of (不要说:)We are seeing more and more cars on the roads.Use (要说:)We are seeing an increasing number of cars on the roads.Instead of (不要说:)The bathroom and the kitchen are good.Use (要说:)The bathroom and the kitchen are wellfurnished.Instead of (不要说:)In a word,the movie is very boring.Use (要说:)In conclusion,the movie is rather boring.假设你是李华,你的美国朋友Sarah打算暑期来北京旅游,来信询问改建后前门大街的情况。请你写一封100词左右的回信,简单介绍以下内容:简况:长800余米、600多年历史、300余家商铺;位置:天安门广场南面;交通:公共汽车17、69、59等路,地铁2号线;特色:步行街、当当车、茶馆、剧院等。参考词汇:步行街pedestrian street;当当车trolley car;地铁subwayDear Sarah,Thank you for you letter asking about the rebuilt Qianmen Street.Here is something about it._Yours,Li Hua【参考范文】Dear_Sarah,Thank_you_for_you_letter_asking_about_the_rebuilt_Qianmen_Street.Here_is_something_about_it.As a famous street with a history of over 600 years,it is located just south of TiananmenSquare.Along the 800metre street,there are over 300 shops of different sizes,among which arealso some theatres and teahouses,where you can taste traditional Chinese culture and experience atruly Chinese way of life.With Buses No.17,69 or 59,it is very convenient to get to the street.Yo
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