名师指导四级写作提高如何改写范文

1、名师指导四级写作提高：如何改写范文在复习准备四级写作时，我们应该按照谋篇、段落、句子、措辞 ”（如图一） 四步走”的宏观复习方式来准备。我们应该将以往的范文作为框架，从谋篇布局着手，加以润色字词句的修饰，将其变成自己的四级高分作文。学习范文或掌握优秀作文是打破提高自己传统写作语言的第一步。下面我们通过2005年12月四级范文，分析学习如何提纯范文中的谋篇、段落、句子、措辞”并加以利用，使其变成自己的语言。Should the University Campus Be Open to Tourist ?1 .名校校园正成为旅游新热点2 .校园是否应对游客开放，人们看法不同3 .我认为Should

2、 the University Campus Be Open to Tourists?Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and oth

3、er famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have differen

4、t opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get

5、 into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.In my opinion, the tourism t

6、o the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere inthis learning field.首先，提纯范文“谋篇布局”及结构模板。第段： 提出问题或现象。 Nowadays, have become one of the popular .It hasbeen shown on TV and on the radio tha

7、t第二段：正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good orbad thing to ?Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people arguedthat it is a good thing forin that On the other hand, some people hold a negative viewabout this phenomenon. In th eir opinion, will have

8、 negative effect onbecause it willnot only do harm to but also to 第三段：摆明自己观点。In my opinion, isnot a good thing. With theincreasing , it will ruin其次，提纯范文“段落写作”。段落写作分为统一性，连贯性和完整性三方面。 统一性(unity) ：段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛，也不可太具体，做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is ita good or bad thing 就有很强的概况性。下文自然会

9、一方面从好的方面说明，另一方面从坏的方面说明。 连贯性 ( coherence) ： 关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中 nowadays,on one hand, on the other hand, in one即以sopnio6”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰，层层展开。完整性 ( completeness) ： 以设问句“ So afr as the present situation is concerned, is it a good orbad thing to open the university campus for tourists? 开头，这是平时较少运用的段落

10、写作方式”设问法。"On one hand .On the other hand,是段落写作分类列举法的典型用 法再次，提纯范文“句子写作”。1. It has been shown that 类似句型：It is known to us that It is said that It is reported that It is controversial that 2. ” TsingHua University and Peking University and other famousuniversities o- -并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单，注意练

11、 习并接句的使用，会使句子显的更加饱满。3. enable v.使能够I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.4. in that = because表 因为”的连词还有since, for, as,如：The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.此句以我们常用的人称开头，句式简单，我们可以通过把since 提前改变句式，如：Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样

12、化。最后，提纯范文“措辞 ” 。1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的形容 “多 ”的表达方法：millions and millionsa multitude ofa great deal ofa large amount ofplenty of many a3. "some people argued that 中的“argued不是 讨论，辩论”的意思，而是 认为“。I argue that I maintain that I claim that I insist that =I think tha

13、t I hold that I assert that I assume that 4. negative adj. 否定的，相反的hold negative view = hold opposite opinions5. phenomenon n. 现象social phenomenon 社会现象natural phenomenon 自然现象6. intellectual adj. 聪明的 = intelligent, bright, clever（选词策略：使用最近所学的单词，如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever ）在

14、分析并掌握范文之后，我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005 年 12 月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006 年 12 月的四级作文，以供参考：1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会3. 我的看法Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Y ear s Eve. It habseen shown on TV and on the radio that every year

15、thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a

16、 good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sk

17、etch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to

18、 having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alterna

19、tive among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.寄语： 分析范文或优秀作文是我们学好写作的第一步。不要小看任何的优秀小短文，那其中一定有需要你掌握的内容。To see a world in a grain of sand,And a heaven in a wild flower,Hold

20、infinity in the palm of your hand,And eternity in an hour.一沙一世界，一花一天堂，手中即无限，永恒亦短暂春节作文写 春节作文 前，我们可以先回忆下过春节是我们参加过的活动，如贴倒福、分压岁钱、吃饺子、掸扬尘、贴年画、贴剪纸、放鞭炮、守岁、给压岁钱、挂千千结、 贴春联等，然后挑一个我们印象深刻的上网查些资料，可以到百度搜春节的八个习俗， 春节的由来与传说等， 也可以上作文网作文素材 频道找到相关资料再进行介绍。作文题目可以自拟，如欢度春节 ， 春节游文庙， 除夕之夜 ， 美丽的春节， 春节花会开头部分：大致介绍一下春节，及春节的一些习俗，

21、点明你所要介绍的习俗。（略写）第二部分：介绍这一习俗的来历、象征意义等，像剪纸、年画、千千结等还可以写写这些物品的种类、样子等。（详细）第三部分：回忆自己参与这一活动的情景。（详细）结尾结尾部分：写写自己对这一习俗的感受。每个部分举例：开头部分：大致介绍一下春节，及春节的一些习俗，点明你所要介绍的习俗。（略写）例： 元宵节是我国的四大节日之一，元宵节一过，春节也就算过完了，所以这一天是非常隆重和热闹的。过元宵节的节目丰富多彩，有充满乐趣的看花灯猜灯谜， 有喜气洋洋的舞龙，还有热闹非凡的赛龙船。不过， 最吸引我们小孩子的却是那多姿多彩的烟花。第二部分：介绍这一习俗的来历、象征意义等，像剪纸、年画

22、、千千结等还 可以写写这些物品的种类、样子等。（详细）例：春联代表着欢乐祥和。在我们中国，每逢春节，无论城市还是农村，家家户户都要精选一副大红春联贴在门上，为节日增加喜庆的气氛。一幅幅春联不仅带来了吉祥和祝福，还带来了中国古老的浓浓的文化气息。瞧！ “大地春光好，长天晓日红”、 “岁岁皆如意， 年年尽平安”、 “江山万里如画， 神州四时皆春”、“春风送春处处*美，喜鹊报喜家家喜事多” 幅幅春联让千家万户喜气盈门。春联的种类比较多。按照使用场所，可分为门心、框对、横批、春条、斗方等。因此，贴的位置也不同，如“门心”贴在门板上端中心部位； “横批”贴在门楣的横木上。第三部分：回忆自己参与这一活动的

23、情景。（详细）例： 记得去年元宵节的晚上爸爸妈妈带我去工人体育馆看烟花。八点整， 只听见几声沉闷的声音，一个个烟花带着红红的火星窜上了天空，几声脆响，夜空绽放出几朵美丽的花朵。它们的形状和颜色各不相同，有五颜六色的满天星，金黄色的蒲公英，紫色的牵牛花，火红的玫瑰花，粉红的月季、银色的百合，真是绚丽多彩。随着一声声的炮响，人们在惊呼，在赞叹，夜色中，人们微微扬起的脸上也变幻着多姿的色彩，露出了幸福的笑容结尾结尾部分：写写自己对这一习俗的感受。例：我看着那散发着传统文化芳香的中华结，仿佛品味到了中华民族远古的神秘和东方的灵秀。它的古香古色，它的千变万化，让我神往，让我遐想春节的街头今天， 是中国传

24、统节日春节。 早晨我还没醒，就听到了鞭炮的声音。平静的社区，今日显得热闹非凡。这热闹的喧嚣，把我的睡意一股脑的全都打撒开来。 于是， 起床穿上了新衣服连早饭都来不及吃就冲到门外，看着各家各户的炮竹，烟花。接着就是跟爸爸妈妈一起去走街串巷拜年！“李伯伯， 新年快乐” “王阿姨， 工作顺了” “刘奶奶， 身体健康” 跟所有的长辈们拜过年之后，妈妈提议说：一会， 去街上看看，感受下新年的气氛。一上街， 街上可就更热闹了。人们手里有提着大袋大袋的菜，身边的孩子手上握着一大把小花炮，蹦蹦跳跳地跑着。看！ 我左边的一位四、五岁左右的小女孩， 跑到前面去。一下子又转过头对一位满手是鼓鼓的袋子的大人喊着： “

25、爸爸，快点！我要回去放炮玩呢！”。有拿着那边超市发的小气球的，红的，黄的，绿的，还有蓝的。也有三五成群，手挽着手说说笑笑的姑娘们，小伙子们，忙绿了一年，辛苦了一年，我想这个时候应该是大家最放松，最高兴的时候。你看，路灯上还挂着两个小红灯，喜气洋洋的。就像在说， “我们也要过新年，我们也要过新年”。一进菜市场，那才更热闹呢！人流窜动，一眼望去，什么也看不见，全是人。还有那翠绿的黄瓜，可真新鲜哪，你看， 那金黄色的小花在太阳的照射下显得多么的生机勃勃啊。那鲫鱼，鲢鱼，青鱼，草鱼等等在水里游来游去，真是印证了我们中国的老话：年年有鱼 （余）！ 黄的韭菜，红的番茄，黑的木耳，白的萝卜 真是要什么有什么呀。 “哎哟！可真够挤的。”我嘀咕了一句。跟着妈妈买了几个我爱吃的菜，结完帐就走出了菜场。超市里的收银台前也早已排起了长龙。傍晚时分，街上，又渐渐安静下来。店主们把店子关了，超市也比往常早了些许关门。大家都提着东西回家过年去了。到了晚上6 点左右，社区渐渐安静，孩子们都回家吃团圆饭去了。吃完团圆饭7、 8 点的样子社区又重新热闹起来。孩子们全都出来放花炮了。这个放个 “降落伞，”那个又放个“天女撒花”各式各样的花炮全有。每放完一个都会聚集好几个孩子，他们在讨论谁的花炮最美丽，谁的花炮颜色最多，之后又是阵阵欢笑。