第五课 语法与文体错误分析

1、LOGOScientific Paper WritingPart I Analysis of Grammatical and Stylistic EI. Comma Splice (逗号叠加逗号叠加)False： （1）Technology never exists in vacuum, it is embodied in products, processes, and people. （2）Stevensons romances are entertaining, they are full of exciting Correct: (1) vacuum; it is (2) entert

2、aining, for they areTips: Comma can not be used between two complete sentences. If the contents of the two sentences are connected, we may use semicolon“;” Or we use linking II. Choppy Style(文体紊乱文体紊乱)Sample 1:First draft: We have established a communications Systems (CS) Planning Team (1). This team

3、 includes user representatives from each of the 12 departments in the Forever-Seal Division（2）.We hold regular meetings to assess state-of-the-art-communications equipment (3). We discuss how new products are being used by other companies (4). At these meetings, The user representatives describe the

4、ir other future needs (5). They also work out their requirements for the new communication network （6） Correct one: We have established a communications Systems (CS) Planning Team which includes division. We hold regular meetings to assess state-of-the-art communications equipment and to discuss how

5、 new products. At these meetings, the user representatives describe their other future needs and work out their requirements for the new communication Exercise: Electric cars must be able to meet the same safety standards that gasoline cars must meet as set up by the Department of Transportation. Th

6、ese standards are derived from an established crash test. In the crash test, the car is propelled against a solid wall at 30 mph. The data obtained from the crash test are analyzed for fuel spillage, fuel system integrity, windshield retention(挡风玻璃残留挡风玻璃残留), and zone intrusion.Sample 2: The proposed

7、 system is required to alleviate(减轻减轻) the increase in demand by using the microcomputer as a stand-alone entry system with all the necessary graphics and software capabilities to remove the burden of Data entry from the present system CADDS.Analysis: This is a long inexplicable sentence. Topic sent

8、ence:要求拟建的系统能缓要求拟建的系统能缓和不得不增加的信息量。和不得不增加的信息量。 Development：1.1.方法：去除现有系方法：去除现有系统统CADDSCADDS的数据入口负担而达到要求。的数据入口负担而达到要求。2. 2. 设备：把微机作为独立入口系统来设备：把微机作为独立入口系统来 完成。这种微机具有为完成这概念所完成。这种微机具有为完成这概念所要求的所有图表以及软件能力。要求的所有图表以及软件能力。修改方法修改方法： Use both long and short sentences To explain the topic by the way of general-

9、to-specific Use cohesive devices to link two related Correct one: The proposed system is required to alleviate the increase in demand. The system will do that by removing the burden of data entry from the present system CADDS. This is accomplished by using the microcomputer as a stand-alone entry sy

10、stem. The microcomputer has all the graphics and software capabilities required to implement this III. Excessive Use of the Passive VoiceRules to follow: 1. Make the action-executor clearly known e.g. Now that the method has been modified, it is used to analyze the chemical heat pump dryer.(作者修改了这作者

11、修改了这个方案，将它用在化学热泵干燥器中。个方案，将它用在化学热泵干燥器中。) （Correct）Now that we have modified the method, we can use it to 2. The contents of sentence in passive should be consistent with the fact. e.g. （1）In industry metals are often used in the form of alloys. （） （2）From these data it is seen that remote batch proce

12、ssing can provide batch processing at remote locations.(远程成批程序能够把成批处远程成批程序能够把成批处理发送到较远的位置。理发送到较远的位置。) （ ）Analysis of (2): “It is believed”, “it is seen” and alike usually means facts accepted by most of the people. Not everyone saw the data mentioned in sentence (2) Correct: From these data it can b

13、e seen that remote batch processing can provide batch processing at remote 3. Avoid Excessive use of the passive voice.Excessive use of passive verbs creates scientific writing that is cumbersome(麻麻烦的烦的, ,苯重的苯重的) and indigestible to read.No more than passive sentences in a paper.With good mixture wi

14、th active voice may retains the necessary clarity of meaning and propriety of tone for scientific IV. Ambiguous Reference(指代含指代含混混) When you use pron. or modifier, to be sure that these words can replace the previous nouns.e.g. (First draft） Ground loops associated with coaxial kuksl cables(同轴电缆同轴电缆

15、) are totally eliminated with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric(绝缘体的绝缘体的), they do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as Analysis: “they” used above may refer to “fiber optic cables”, or to “ground loops ”(Correct) Ground loops associated with coaxial cables are totally eliminated

16、with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric, fiber optic cables do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as antennas.(和同轴电缆相连接的接地线圈和同轴电缆相连接的接地线圈完全被光纤电缆所代替。因为光纤电缆完全被光纤电缆所代替。因为光纤电缆是电介质，它不会被闪电电击，也不起是电介质，它不会被闪电电击，也不起天线的作用。天线的作用。)V. Misuse of the linking wordsErrors occurred usually: misuse “af

17、ter all”. e.g. After all(毕竟毕竟), we come to the conclusion that use “but” and “although” in the same sentence. To add “it” improperly e.g. As it was mentioned above As it is shown in figure 12 Confuse the use of “comparing to/with” and “compared to” or “in comparison with”. e.g. Comparing to the resu

18、lts和和相仿相仿 Comparing these latest results to/with our earlier ones （） Misuse “Conclusively” (有决定性的有决定性的) as “in conclusion” Misuse “particularly” (adv.)分别分别, 详细地详细地 as “in particularly=especially”特别特别,尤其尤其VI. Misleading parallelism(平行结构不平行平行结构不平行) Use same grammatical structure for parallelism.(first

19、 draft) The principal processes are: 1. Coagulating and flocculation.凝固和絮结凝固和絮结 2. Removing the solids 3. Nitrogen-removal (氨气氨气) 4. Disinfection.(灭菌灭菌, ,消毒消毒)(Correct)The principal processes are: 1. Coagulation and flocculation. 2. Removal of solids 3. removal of Nitrogen (氨气氨气) 4. DExercise: The p

20、urpose of this report is to present evidence that the contracting officer(缔约官缔约官员员) acted within the range of his authority and his final opinion was binding(有约束力有约束力的的).本报告的目的是目前的证据表明，签约者是在他的本报告的目的是目前的证据表明，签约者是在他的职权范围和最后意见是有约束力的。职权范围和最后意见是有约束力的。 This filter has two important functions: to reject im

21、pulse noise signals and passing low frequency command signals without amplitude (振幅振幅) or phase distortion.这种滤波这种滤波器具有的功能：拒绝脉冲噪声信号和传递的低频率信号器具有的功能：拒绝脉冲噪声信号和传递的低频率信号的幅度和相位失真不命令的幅度和相位失真不命令Exercise: The TFC engineers and I found that the selection of Hybrid Analog Transmission using FDM (Frequency Divis

22、ion Multiplexer) to be highly reliable, improved security of communications; complete ground isolation, free from cross-talk(串话干串话干扰扰), sparking, short circuit loading; RFI (radio frequency interference), EMI (electric magnetic field), and EMP (electric magnetic polarization) immunity. TFCTFC工程师和我发现

23、使用工程师和我发现使用FDMFDM的混合类的混合类比传输可靠性大，大大改善通讯可靠比传输可靠性大，大大改善通讯可靠性；与地面全部距离，没有电话干扰，性；与地面全部距离，没有电话干扰，火花以及短路负载等；免受无线电频火花以及短路负载等；免受无线电频率干扰，电磁场和电磁偏振的影响。率干扰，电磁场和电磁偏振的影响。 The TFC engineers and I found the FDM hybrid analog transmission highly reliable: it greatly improved the security of communication; complete gr

24、ound isolation, no cross-talk, no spark or short circuit load; RFI, EMI and EMP Part Two Use of Some Words and Expressions A lot of Spoken form, not used in scientific papers Similar: many, much, a great deal ofAbove Refers to the material appeared one paragraph or several sentences before.e.g. The

25、above explanation will help answer this question. (just mentioned)Adopt = applye.g. We can adopt the explanation introduced earlier to answer this question.e.g. We can apply the explanation introduced in Section 2 to answer this question. Aforementioned(上述的上述的)and hereinafter(在下文在下文) Ancient English

26、 Aforementioned algorithm(算法算法, ,演绎演绎) algorithm described Alternate and alternative Alternate: 轮流，交替发生轮流，交替发生 Alternative 二者或多个中择一二者或多个中择一 Alternatively 另做选择另做选择E.g. You have the alternative of working hard and being successful or if not working hard and being unsuccessful. Alternatively, we can ad

27、opt the following Apparently (1)(1)显然的显然的, , 明白的明白的, , 清晰可见的清晰可见的 (2)(2)表面上的表面上的, , 貌似貌似( (真实真实) )的的 Apparently, different fuel cell operation temperatures correspond to different optimal cycle configurations (最佳循环结构最佳循环结构). Use “obviously” and “obviously” Approach: When x increased, the value of th

28、e function approaches to zero.() Dr. Kastern proposed a new approach to solving this problem. () As follows 同义短语：同义短语：as followings, as the followings, as below, the following, as shown Aspect, area Wordy, Should be omitted. e.g. In the area of application of Genetic algorithm(遗传法则遗传法则), many approa

29、ches have been proposed. many applications of Regarding the application aspect of Genetic Algorithm, many approaches have been proposed. Many approaches to application of Assume assume as() assume to be () The main steam pressure is assumed as 3 MPa is assumed to be 3MPa Based on The object of “on”

30、should related logically to the subject of the main clause When the pp. phrase can not modify the subject, we should use “on the basis of”, “by”, “from”, “according to”Analyze the following sentences: (1) Based on Eq. (6), it is obtained that (2) Based on the experimental results, we conclude that (

31、3) Based on the conventional method using Lagrange multipliers(拉拉格朗日乘数格朗日乘数), the closed form solution can be written as Correct ones: (1) From Eq. (6), it is obtained that Eq. (6) entails(need) that (2) On the basis of the experimental results, we conclude that (3) According to the conventional met

32、hod using Lagrange multipliers, (4) Based on the advanced digital technology, the Nikon Cool Pix 995 camera provides the excellent performance. () Belong Belong usually means wealth belongings, or divided into one category. In scientific paper, when we say one item should be one part of one kind, we

33、 say “to fall into the category of” or “to be a form of”, “to be classified as”e.g. This problems is a type of nonlinear programming Case: 情况，事例情况，事例 Followed by “in which” or “when”, “where”, but not “that”e.g. Let us now examine the case that the mass flow rate of air is smaller than 3 kg/s. () in

34、 Conclusion The collocation of conclusion:State conclusion, present conclusion()Make conclusions, give conclusions ()e.g. Finally, we make a conclusion in section 5. () state The final section of the paper gives the conclusion. () Details Describe in detail, a detailed description The details will b

35、e described in the next section. The details of will be described A detailed description of will be given in the next Give: Better use “state”, “present”, “propose” to show “提出，提出， 给出给出”e.g. The concept of “sequential Combustion” developed by ABB is given in this paper. is presented/ is described/ i

36、s stated Method for “method for/of” is better than “method to do” We selected the method to solve this problem. for solving this problem Show Dont use show to mean “提出提出”e.g. Simulation(模拟模拟) results are shown in section 3 of the paper. are presented Can not be used to introduce equatione.g. The tot

37、al heat removal rate can then be shown as follows. be expressed Exercise: Try to correct the following sentences. 1. Although the new process has many advantages, but there are some weak points in it. 2. A large amount of samples are used for our experiments. 3. The humidifier does not work anymore.

38、 4. Based on the research, we draw the conclusion that 5. There are basically two types of new simulation methods. 6. Because of the fact that electricity can change into other forms of energy, it is widely used in industry. 7. Because that no machine ever runs without some friction, overcoming that

39、 friction wastes energy. 8. Because our home market was too small to support economic lamp production, so we have had to export our products from our earliest 9. Besides, sending these messages electronically eliminates the need for 100 pieces of paper. 10. They will call this installation as Heat P

40、ump Dryer (HPD). 11. A refrigeration system is comprised of four main components. 12. For practical purpose, the wall temperature may be considered as a 13. Figure 10 demonstrates the natural irrational frequencies for trucks. 14. A kilometer equals to 1000 meters. 15. First we will give the governi

41、ng equations in the Cartesian coordinates. 16. In such case, the results should be different from the previous one. 1. Although the new process has many advantages, but（去掉）（去掉） there are some weak points in it. 2. A large amount （number）of samples are used for our experiments. 3. The humidifier does

42、 not work anymore （any longer）. 4. Based on(on the basis of) the research, we draw the conclusion that 5. There are basically (去掉去掉)two types of new simulation method. 6. Because of the fact that(去掉去掉) electricity can be changed into other forms of energy, it is widely used in industry. 7. Because t

43、hat （去掉）（去掉）no machine ever runs without some friction, overcoming that friction wastes energy. 8. Because our home market was too small to support economic lamp production, so（去掉）（去掉） we have had to export our products from our earliest days. 9. Besides（in addition）, sending these messages electron

44、ically eliminates the need for 100 pieces of paper. 10. They will call this installation as (去掉去掉)Heat Pump Dryer (HPD). 11. A refrigeration system is comprised of（去掉）去掉）four main components. 12. For practical purpose, the wall temperature may be considered as a constant. 13. Figure 10 demonstrates

45、（It illustrates）the natural irrational frequencies for trucks. (Fig. 10) 14. A kilometer equals to (去掉去掉)1000 meters. 14. give （state）the governing equations in the Cartesian coordinates. 16. In such case,（In this case） the results should be different from the previous one. Writing TI. Enumeration(列

46、举列举)Functions: To list all the sub-items in one category. Convenience for readers to have a full and complete understanding to the Used when you: List the set of equipments List finished and unfinished items of your process report List all advantages and disadvantages of a new product.Two ways to en

47、umerate: Use marks, such as 1.2.3.or A.B.C Enumerate when you Useful Expression: Include, such as; includefrom to Containsparts; all the fromto; are , which include; are made Samples: 1. The definition of a breakwater(挡水挡水板板) is general. It includes everything from a simple pile of stones to an orde

48、red pile of concrete blocks to a solid wall of cement. Logically, these different breakwater designs, utilizing different materials, have varying degrees of effectiveness at shunting wave 2. We recommend the New Orleans heat exchanger Advantages of this system are: (1) Automatic control (2) Lower op

49、erating cost. Disadvantages are: (1) Probably slugging of liquid refrigerant to compressors(压缩机压缩机). (2) complex automatic control II. Comparison and Contrast (比较和对比比较和对比)Difference: Comparison is used to compare the similarities of the two things in one category Contrast is for differences between

50、Commonly Used ExpressionsThe purpose: be compared with for the purpose of/to, in order to, so that comparisons were performed in order to determine (for the purpose of determining/ so that we could determine) The Object: is (are) compared with (among /between) By comparison with/ compared to/In comp

51、arison withThe Basis: is used as the basis for comparing Comparisons were based on The basic criterion for comparison Examples: A series of comparisons were performed in order to determine the difference between quantitatively measured and predicted temperatures The best result was then used as the

52、basis for comparing the accuracies estimated using Equations 1 and III. Cause and EffectUsed in the following items: Logical argumentation Explain the reasons Predict some events Explain a Commonly Used Expressions1. From cause to effect This accounts for the fact that It was partly for these reason

53、s that cause (generate / yield / bring about / give rise to / result in / lead to) This explains why As a consequence / As a result/ the consequence From effect to cause result from because / since is attributable to (due to / effected by ) is determined by (decided by / caused by) As a result of Th