交替互补的养育模式学习一下

1、交替互补的养育模式第一个月婆婆来帮忙带宝宝,下一个月是妈妈轮岗,再下一个月又轮到婆婆换班以这样“婆婆妈妈”的模式交替照看宝宝的小家庭可能不在少数。此般无奈之举,让很多妈妈焦虑:这婆婆、妈妈各自不同的性格和养育模式,岂不是比频繁地换保姆更让人闹心?!其实不然,来看看“专家妈妈”们的解读。这些妈妈,都经历过这些闹心事。但是她们发现,事实上,这种模式,不但没有干扰孩子的成长,还对他很有帮助呢!闹心事之一:一严一宠奶奶宠孙子,那是天经地义。外婆似乎却比较理智,对孩子规矩也更大些,因为她觉得这样才是真正地对孩子好。可是小家伙夹在两个人中间,这个月有棒棒糖吃,可以无限时地看电视,可以把家里“祸害”得乱七八

2、糟;下个月就严格地被控制三餐,零食只有水果,电视只能看20分钟,玩具要放回原位不同的管理模式,会不会让孩子混乱?孩子会不会喜欢一个,讨厌另一个?“专家”答疑不会,我家就是典型的这种模式。我发现宝宝很会见机行事,和奶奶、外婆都相处愉快。虽然这样的孩子有“两面派”之嫌,但是我觉得这倒是能让他早早地适应这个社会:知道见什么人说什么话,办什么事。这其实也是一种能力,而且还别小看了这样的能力,我们单位很多新入职的大学生还没参透这一点呢。这当然不是鼓励阿谀奉承,只是说要尽快地适应不同的环境,是一种生存之道。另外,我觉得妈妈的严和婆婆的宠正好给了孩子互补的爱,他的身心发展才更加平衡。如果一味的严或一味的宠,

3、才是让我最焦虑的事。刚开始的时候,宝宝确实会有一些反感外婆,这时也就是我和他爸爸该出马的时候了。我们经常向他解释外婆这样做是出于爱,是为他着想等等,但是也绝不会批评他奶奶的做法。时间长了,他就两边全盘接受了。(小叶紫檀_82,儿子2 岁半闹心事之二:一洋一土农村来的、认不了几个字的奶奶,在女子学堂里念着洋课本长大、会弹钢琴的外婆,这么大差距的两位老人,因为孩子碰撞到了一起。奶奶乡音浓郁,有时宝宝还得给妈妈当翻译。每天要不是催着赶着,脚都不洗,所以宝宝的衣服就更加地没有每天一换的想法;外婆谈吐文雅,看原版的英文小说,热衷教宝宝英文单词,不仅自己每天洗澡换衣服,宝宝也是一天两身衣服洗两次澡真是乱了

4、套的生活。“专家”答疑虽然有时我不免对婆婆的生活方式皱眉头,老公也对我妈妈给宝宝解释她的英文名字含义撇嘴,但是我觉得对于孩子来说,她却能从两位老人身上学到很多不同的东西。比如宝宝首先知道自己有很多“代号”,除了大名、小名、“宝宝”之外,她还叫“囡囡”和“Jessica”。她知道自己的小花布裙是棉花做的,妈妈的围巾是蚕宝宝吐的丝做的;也知道淡粉色配咖啡色、深粉色配灰色很漂亮。她跟着奶奶认识了很多野草的名字;跟着外婆认识了钢琴上所有的“哆”在哪儿。奶奶在的时候,她整个儿地吃小萝卜、黄瓜和西红柿;外婆则喜欢把它们都切成小块儿拌各种口味的沙拉酱吃,所以她吃得惯很多东西。有一次我们带她吃饭时点了一道从没

5、吃过的墨西哥鸡肉菠菜面,结果味道怪异,我们都吃不下,小家伙却吃得很带劲。这样迥异的两位老人带一个孩子,开始我也很担心,后来发现真是好处多多,孩子受益无穷。打着灯笼去找,都不见得能找到这样两位给孩子带来完全不同层次的知识、感受的家教。(千束百合,女儿3 岁闹心事之三:一动一静一个老人好动,每天出去“遛”好几趟孩子;另一个爱静,就喜欢在家里给孩子讲讲故事,听听音乐什么的。孩子这个月每天在外面“野”到天黑才回家,下个月就被“圈”在屋子里不出门。这对孩子的性格发展会不会很不利?“专家”答疑我女儿就是被这样一动一静的两个老人带的,我觉得挺成功。周末我带她出去玩的话,会发现她总能玩得很尽兴,而且见到很多我

6、根本不认识的人她都会很热情地打招呼。这可能跟我婆婆没事就出去“遛”她有关,我婆婆特别爱热闹,人也热情,这方圆十里的人,她差不多都认识。如果周末我要在家干点儿家务或者在电脑上查资料,女儿也能一个人看书、画画、折纸,听CD故事,特别踏实、安静,这和我妈妈带她的方式有关,我妈妈身体不太好,基本是半卧在床上看着她,但是会给她安排丰富的“静课”内容,教会了她怎样自己玩耍。我觉得婆婆和我妈妈看孩子的模式其实和所有的幼儿园、小学的课程设置很吻合:有动有静。只不过间隔的时间长了点儿,是一个月而不是一节课,呵呵。但这不也对孩子的发展很好吗?!从孩子成长的整体过程来看,一个月也不算长,这样的轮替很均衡。(果儿妈,

7、女儿3岁 闹心事之四:一收一放一个老太太是护驾天王,时刻不离孩子左右,帮孩子“护”玩具,呵斥淘气的欺负人的小朋友,帮孩子“争”滑滑梯的机会另一个老太太则是袖手旁观,只热衷于和其他老太太聊天说笑,不管孩子怎么被欺负、被小朋友冷落都不动声色。只要没危险,外出活动时基本“隐形”。“专家”答疑我们家姥姥心重,特别怕外孙受欺负;而奶奶心宽,觉得小孩子之间还不就是打打闹闹,谈不上什么欺负不欺负。其实这两个老人的做法恰恰给了孩子非常好的交往培养:一个实地指导,一个则给了孩子自己实践的机会。我发现小洋就经常在姥姥看他的时候一边得意洋洋地享受不吃亏的玩耍,一边用心看和记;在奶奶看他的时候把姥姥的“吵架”战术自己

8、应用起来。有好几次,我发现他跟小朋友“讲理”时的口气和表情和他姥姥完全一样,我站在旁边都忍俊不禁。只不过小家伙在姥姥看他的一个月里出去玩总是盛气凌人,奶奶带他出去玩他就会“乖”得不行,要带上好几个玩具讨好小朋友,什么时候他自己明白了“胜不骄”的道理,可能会和小伙伴相处得更加融洽吧?!(Elsa_dream,儿子2 岁编后由完全不同的“婆婆妈妈”带出来的孩子,上幼儿园也会适应很快,和小朋友的交往也更加得心应手。这样说来,似乎这些闹心事倒都成了优势。不过值得关注的一点是,这几位“专家妈妈”都奉守同一个原则,那就是绝不在孩子面前说老人的不是,对两位老人的养育方式、生活方式以及她们本身都很尊重。而且,

9、她们看待事情也会尽量多地去看积极的一面,有意识地忽略消极的一面。其实,这也许才是使这种模式成为了“优势”的最重要的地方。第一个月婆婆来帮忙带宝宝,下一个月是妈妈轮岗,再下一个月又轮到婆婆换班以这样“婆婆妈妈”的模式交替照看宝宝的小家庭可能不在少数。Alternating complementary Parenting Patterns" Experts " answer not, my house is typical of this model. I found it will play, and grandma, grandma happy. Although such

10、 children have " two-faced " too,but I think it's so he can adapt to the society: to know early to see what people say, do what thing.In addition, I think that mother 's strict and her pet gives children a complementary love, his physical and mental development to a more balanced.

11、If a strict or indulge, is my most anxiety.At the beginning, the baby will have some antipathy to grandma, then I and his father the run time. We often explained to him she did so out of love, is in his shoes and so on, but never criticize damn it practices. For a long time, he both overall accepted

12、. ( lobular Rosewood _82, son of 2 years and a half " Experts " answer although sometimes I get to granny lifestyle frown, husband of my mother to the baby to explain her English name meaning pie, but I feel for a child, she can from the two old people who learn a lot of different things.

13、For example, the baby first know that you have many " code ", in addition to name, nickname, " baby ", she was called " little girl " and " Jessica ".She knows that her little cloth dress is made of cotton, mother's scarf is silkworm baby spit silk; know p

14、ale pink with coffee, deep pink with grey is very beautiful. She followed her to know many weeds name; follow grandmother knew the piano all the "Duo " where.Such disparate two old people with a child, I was also worried, later found is really good, children benefit from the infinite. Hitt

15、ing a lantern to look for, do not always find it two to bring their children to a completely different level of knowledge, feelings of family education. (thousands of lily, daughter 3 years old Alarm three: a mind. An old man is active, go out every day " for " several times children; anot

16、her love quiet, just like at home and give the children about the story, listen to music what. The child every day this month in the " wild " outside until dark before returning home, next month will be " circle" in the house not to go out. The children's personality developm

17、ent will be very bad?" Experts " answering my daughter is such a hydrostatic two old, I feel quite successful. This weekend I took her out to play, will find that she always enjoyed seeing a lot, and I don't even know who she would be very enthusiastic greeting. This may be with my mot

18、her-in-law " walk right out of her, my mother-in-law " special love lively, people are warm, this area of ten people, she almost all know.If the weekend I have to do http:/www.fjmr- housework or in the computer to find information, the daughter can a person read a book, painting, origami,

19、listening to CD stories, particularly practical, quiet, this and my mother took her way, my mother is in poor health, is basically a half lying in bed watching her, but will arrangements for her rich " static class " content, taught her how to play. I think her mother-in-law and my mother

20、child model in fact and all kindergartens, primary school curriculum is very fit: movement and stillness.But the interval of time longer, is a month instead of a lesson, ha ha. But this is also the development of the children is good?! from children to grow up in whole process, one months is not too

21、 long, such that rotation is balanced.( Figs mother, daughter 3 years old A mind four: one of a release an old lady was escorting king, always does not leave their children around, help the child to "protect" toys, at the naughty bullied children, help children " contend for" sli

22、de opportunity . . Another woman is nothing, only interested in and other old lady chat and laugh, no matter how the child being bullied by children, are quietly ignored. As long as no risk, traveling basic " invisible "." Experts " answering our grandmother heart weight, particu

23、larly afraid of grandson bullied; and granny heart wide, that child is not between the ruckus, do not talk to go up what does not bully bully. In fact, the two old practice precisely to the child is very good communication culture : a field guide, a gave their children the opportunity to practice.I

24、found a small ocean is often in the grandmother to see his side feel oneself highly flattered when enjoying one play, while hard to see and remember grandma; in his time to grandma's " quarrel " tactical application. Several times, I found him with little friend " unreasonable &qu

25、ot; tone and expression and his grandmother is exactly the same, I stand beside simmer with laughter. But the little guy in the grandmother to see his one month out always lord it over others, grandmother took him out to play he would " not well-behaved ", to bring several toys to children, when he learned that " victory is not arrogance " truth, may and friends get along better.?! ( Elsa_dream, son of 2 years old After a completely different " womanishly fussy " brought up the children, kinde