关于写作教学几点 思考与做法---玉环中学 许玲

1、关于写作教学的几点关于写作教学的几点 思考与做法思考与做法-玉环中学玉环中学 许玲许玲 从评分标准看写作教学方向从评分标准看写作教学方向 根据写作方向确定教学重点根据写作方向确定教学重点 写前指导写前指导 写后讲评写后讲评书面表达评价标准书面表达评价标准 ( (第五档第五档) )很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当； 完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。一、从评分标准看写作教学方向一、从评分标准看写作教学方向书面表达评价标准书面表达评价标准 ( (第五档第五档) )很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按

2、要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当； 完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。2. 内容内容:主题明确、要点齐全;书面表达评价标准书面表达评价标准 ( (第五档第五档) )很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当； 完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。3.语言语言:准确、地道、丰富、得体得体; ; 语域是语言使用的场合或领域的总称。英国语言学家M. A. K. Halliday将语域定义为，语言变体可以按照使用的情况划分为语域。语言

3、使用的领域的种类很多，例如：新闻广播、演说语言、广告语言、课堂用语、办公用语、家常谈话、与幼童谈话、与外国人谈话、口头自述等。在不同的领域使用的语言会有不同的语体。 4.思维思维: :观点深刻、逻辑清晰（段落、句与句之间)书面表达评价标准书面表达评价标准 ( (第五档第五档) )很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当； 完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。1.篇章篇章: :分段合理、条理清晰;骨骨血、肉血、肉气气二、根据写作方向确定教学重点二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读篇章结构解读2

4、009 浙江高考书面表达：浙江高考书面表达： 5月1日高二(3)班的学生志愿者Li Yue 和Zhang Hua 去阳光敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。假设你校英语报的记者，请写一则新闻报道: 1. 时间，地点，人物，活动 ; 2. 老人们的反映; 3. 简短评论 。 Part 1: 概述新闻（时间、地点、人物、事件）； Part 2: 客观详细介绍事件的经过； Part 3: 陈述对事件或人物的评价或结论。 On May Day, Li Yue and Zhang Hua, students from class three, Grade two, went to sunshi

5、ne nursing home and did some voluntary work. Upon their arrival, Li Yue and Zhang Hua were warmly welcomed, and respectfully, they presented the elderly with fruits and flowers. Then they started working at once, cleaning the windows and sweeping the floor. Every-thing done, they sat in the yard cha

6、tting with the elderly people. When it was time for the volunteers to leave，the elderly people thanked them for their kindness. They said it was such a beautiful day that they would re-member it forever. Li Yue and Zhang Hua were very happy. What they did has brought joy to other people and enriched

7、 their own lives. On May Day, Li Yue and Zhang Hua, students from class three, Grade two, went to sunshine nursing home and did some voluntary work. Upon their arrival, Li Yue and Zhang Hua were warmly welcomed, and respectfully, they presented the elderly with fruits and flowers. Then they started

8、working at once, cleaning the windows and sweeping the floor. Every-thing done, they sat in the yard chatting with the elderly people. When it was time for the volunteers to leave，the elderly people thanked them for their kindness. They said it was such a beautiful day that they would re-member it f

9、orever. Li Yue and Zhang Hua were very happy. What they did has brought joy to other people and enriched their own lives. On May Day, Li Yue and Zhang Hua, students from class three, Grade two, went to sunshine nursing home and did some voluntary work. Upon their arrival, Li Yue and Zhang Hua were w

10、armly welcomed, and respectfully, they presented the elderly with fruits and flowers. Then they started working at once, cleaning the windows and sweeping the floor. Every-thing done, they sat in the yard chatting with the elderly people. When it was time for the volunteers to leave，the elderly peop

11、le thanked them for their kindness. They said it was such a beautiful day that they would re-member it forever. Li Yue and Zhang Hua were very happy. What they did has brought joy to other people and enriched their own lives.Using Language: Heroic Teenager Receives Award二、根据写作方向确定教学重点二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1

12、.篇章结构解读篇章结构解读2.事例积累事例积累2012 浙江高考书面表达浙江高考书面表达: 你校正在进行“英语读书周”活动，该活动要求学生摘录名言佳句（quote）并相互交流。以下是某同学摘录的句子：”Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you”。请按下列要求用英语写一篇100-120个词的短文： 1.针对摘录句中的观点谈谈你的看法；2.举例说明理由举例说明理由。 教材、完型填教材、完型填空中的记叙文。空中的记叙文。分类积累分类积累二、根据写作方向确定教学重点二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读篇章结构解读2.事例积累事例

13、积累3.语言积累语言积累 积累渠道积累渠道 教材教材 Teens 阅读文本阅读文本（高考真题）（高考真题） 学生习作学生习作 听力材料听力材料 人物、兴趣与爱好、自然与环境、语言、文化、人物、兴趣与爱好、自然与环境、语言、文化、艺术、健康、饮食、运动、科技、人文关怀等。艺术、健康、饮食、运动、科技、人文关怀等。话题常用语言话题常用语言 体裁特有语言体裁特有语言(记叙/说明/议论) 衔接作用语言衔接作用语言 人物、兴趣与爱好、自然与环境、语言、文化、人物、兴趣与爱好、自然与环境、语言、文化、艺术、健康、饮食、运动、科技、人文关怀、艺术、健康、饮食、运动、科技、人文关怀、人人 生感悟生感悟等。等。

14、功能意念语言功能意念语言分类积累分类积累二、根据写作方向确定教学重点二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读篇章结构解读2.事例积累事例积累3.语言积累语言积累 积累渠道积累渠道 教材教材 Teens 阅读文本阅读文本（高考真题）（高考真题） 学生习作学生习作 听力材料听力材料4.语言与思维训练语言与思维训练话题常用语言话题常用语言 体裁特有语言体裁特有语言(记叙/说明/议论) 衔接作用语言衔接作用语言 功能意念语言功能意念语言 4.语言与思维训练语言与思维训练高一：高一：翻译（一句多译）、造句、句子改错、翻译（一句多译）、造句、句子改错、 句子美化句子美化（语言层面）（语言层面）5050

15、词小练笔词小练笔( (感受或评论感受或评论) ) （思维层面）（思维层面）课文改编练笔课文改编练笔（语言综合运用层面）（语言综合运用层面）高二：高二：高三：高三：分类综合写作：分类综合写作：图画类图画类、图表类、提纲类、图表类、提纲类、 开放类开放类（语言综合运用层面）（语言综合运用层面）写前指导写前指导写后讲评写后讲评整理内化整理内化跟进强化跟进强化三、写前指导三、写前指导 -明确写作过程、培养写作习惯明确写作过程、培养写作习惯 1.审题审题: 体裁：体裁： 主题：主题： 人称：人称： 时态：时态：1.审题审题: 体裁体裁: 夹叙夹议 主题：主题：Mind Your Behavior in

16、Public Places 人称：人称：a couple(she,he) + I (we) 时态：时态：过去过去+现在现在2. 构思框架构思框架（分段、罗列关键词分段、罗列关键词）：）： Para.1: 图片要点: Para.2: 评论要点: 美景、扔垃圾、吐痰、标牌美景、扔垃圾、吐痰、标牌 对此行为的看法（破坏环境、无责对此行为的看法（破坏环境、无责任感、个人素质差、等等）任感、个人素质差、等等） Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park.过过渡渡过过渡渡总结总结3. 打草稿打草稿 4. 改进

17、表达改进表达 5. 抄写抄写 卷面整洁清楚、书写对齐横线、大小合理、卷面整洁清楚、书写对齐横线、大小合理、词与词间距均匀。词与词间距均匀。四、写后讲评四、写后讲评2.2.主要形式主要形式：作文评析卷作文评析卷 4.4.评后跟进评后跟进：背诵默写背诵默写 订正重写订正重写( (部分学生部分学生) ) 跟进迁移跟进迁移 3.3.讲评重点讲评重点：解决问题解决问题 + + 欣赏模仿欣赏模仿 1.目标目标: 提高学生的写作热情提高学生的写作热情 分析解决问题分析解决问题 引导学生感悟积累迁移引导学生感悟积累迁移2009 浙江高考书面表达：浙江高考书面表达： 5月1日高二(3)班的学生志愿者Li Yue

18、 和Zhang Hua 去阳光敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。假设你校英语报的记者，请写一则新闻报道: 1. 时间，地点，人物，活动 ; 2. 老人们的反映; 3. 简短评论 。2011浙江高考书面表达浙江高考书面表达： 假设你是高中生李越，有感于校园中存在的随意涂写（to scribble）和乱丢垃圾（to litter）的行为，请用英语给校长写一封100-120个词的信。信中应包括以下内容： 1. 说明写信目的； 2. 对这些行为进行批评； 3. 提出建议.2009 浙江高考书面表达：浙江高考书面表达： 5月1日高二(3)班的学生志愿者Li Yue 和Zhang Hua 去阳

19、光敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。假设你校英语报的记者，请写一则新闻报道: 1. 时间，地点，人物，活动 ; 2. 老人们的反映; 3. 简短评论 。2011浙江高考书面表达浙江高考书面表达： 假设你是高中生李越，有感于校园中存在的随意涂写（to scribble）和乱丢垃圾（to litter）的行为，请用英语给校长写一封100-120个词的信。信中应包括以下内容： 1. 说明写信目的； 2. 对这些行为进行批评； 3. 提出建议.2012福建卷： 假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人

20、感想。Mind Your Behavior in Public Places Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park. _ 2012福建卷： 假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。Mind Your Behavior in Public Places Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park. _

21、2012福建卷： 假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。Mind Your Behavior in Public Places Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park. _ 2012福建卷： 假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。Mind Your Behavior in Public Places

22、Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park. _ 夹叙夹议夹叙夹议2012福建卷： 假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。Mind Your Behavior in Public Places Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park. _ 1. Follow your passion; follow

23、your heart. They will lead you to the place you want to go. 2. There are no mistakes. There are only new paths to explore. 3. Teenagers have to map out a dream for their future. Only with a dream can we have a clear direction in life. 4. Where you are right now doesnt have to be where youll end up.

24、No one writes your destiny for you, you write your own desitny. (摘自Obamas national speech to American schoolchildren on Sept 8.2009) 话题常用语言积累话题常用语言积累人生感悟人生感悟： 评论或总结评论或总结 I wonder if you could put the buttons in the lifts within the reach of a person in a wheelchair.2. It would help to fit earphones

25、to all of the seats.3. Id like to suggest that the seats at the back be placed higher than those at the front.4. It would be convenient to place toilets near the entrance to the cinema.5. Perhaps there could be a space at the end of each row for people with in wheelchairs. 6. If the car parking spac

26、es reserved for the disabled are close to the entrance, that would be nice. 功能意念语言积累功能意念语言积累建议建议：2012浙江卷：浙江卷： 给校长写信给校长写信提建议提建议Book 7 Unit 1A Letter to an Architect体裁特有语言体裁特有语言-记叙文记叙文： Having worked hard all day, I went to bed early. I was fast asleep when suddenly my bed began shaking and I heard a

27、strange sound, like a railway train passing my window. Having experienced quite a few earthquakes in Hawaii already, I didnt take much notice. I was about to go to sleep when suddenly my bedroom became as bright as day. I ran out of the house into the back garden where I could see Mount Kilaueain in

28、 the distance. There had been an eruption from the mountain and red hot lava was fountaining hundreds of metres into the air. It was an absolutely fantastic sight. 体裁特有语言体裁特有语言-说明文说明文：1. Some 7,000 high school students went abroad for further study, accounting for 23 percent of all the students stud

29、ying abroad.2. As is shown in the chart/ table, nearly 40% of the students prefer to surf the Internet in their spare time, ranking the first.3. The number doubles in 2008.4. Meanwhile, the numbers of people, who have access to their own cars, have risen sharply in the recent years.5. Compared with

30、1997, it fell from 15 to 10 percent.表下降：decrease, fall, decline, drop; 表上升：rise, go up; 变化程度：sharply, gradually, slightly, slowly, steadily 体裁特有语言体裁特有语言-议论文议论文：赞成： be for, be in favor of , support, advocate, agree to the argument, subscribe to the view that 反对： be against, be opposed to；其他： We have

31、a heated discussion about Opinions concerning the topic vary from person to person. There is much discussion about衔接作用语言衔接作用语言：时间关系：first, then, suddenly, immediately, meanwhile, after that, at once, soon, at the same time, when, as soon as, before, the moment, while, etc.转折关系：but, however, yet, on

32、the contrary, all too often, in fact, virtually, instead, on the other hand, nevertheless, despite, in spite of, otherwise, though, while, as, etc.因果关系：due to, owing to, thanks to, because of, as a result of, on account of, so, therefore, in consequence, thus, because, since, etc. 递进关系：and, moreover

33、, besides, furthermore, whats more, in addition, apart from, worse still, whats worse, to make matters worse, more importantly, etc.总 结：to conclude, in a word, in general, altogether, in short, on the whole, etc. Things worked out better than we had planned. 2. I thought I knew them all, but that wa

34、snt the case.3. Painful lessons have set the alarm bells ringing.Book 3 Unit 5练笔练笔: 地理情况地理情况 139平方公里，世界第二大国家，东西海岸距离5,500公里。自然资源自然资源 淡水资源丰富。 人口人口 3千万稍多一点, 大多数住在离美国边境几百公里内。风景名胜风景名胜 Vancouver: 最美城市、滑雪、航海、森林、高树。The Rocky Mountains：山羊、灰熊、鹰。Calgary：赛马会。你对加拿你对加拿大的印象大的印象 至少两点。 本周，你们在英语课堂上学习了有关加拿大的文章。英语老师要求你

35、们回顾所学内容，请根据表格介绍加拿大，并陈述它留给你的印象。注意注意：勿逐句照抄课文内容，可适当拓展，以使行文连贯。目标语目标语: 单词: slightly, within, border, measure, impress 词组: be surrounded by, catch sight of , have a gift for, be famous for, any other country, leave/make a deep impression on sb. 句型结构: make sth./sb. + n. Winds protected us from the aggressi

36、ve sunshine, flowers expanded in a wide smile and sometimes we could see birds flying in the broad sky or stayed in bushes, looking so elegant. Compared with the beautiful sight, two peoples behavior was terrible. They didnt care about the sign which told us not to throw the rubish into the lake. On

37、 the one hand, they enjoyed the beautiful sight. On the other hand, they threw the rubbish into the lake.解决问题：解决问题： Winds protected us from the aggressive sunshine, flowers expanded in a wide smile and sometimes we could see birds flying in the broad sky or stayed in bushes, looking so elegant. Comp

38、ared with the beautiful sight, two peoples behavior was terrible. They didnt care about the sign which told us not to throw the rubish into the lake. On the one hand, they enjoyed the beautiful sight. On the other hand, they threw the rubbish into the lake. (79words)问题：问题：重点不突出，图片描述不清晰，个别用词重点不突出，图片描

39、述不清晰，个别用词 不贴切。不贴切。思考：思考：一句话一句话概括概括景色，以景色，以记叙方式记叙方式描述图片描述图片要要点点。 Everything in the park kept me spellbound, the soft breeze, the flowers and the flying birds. Compared with the beautiful sight, two peoples behavior was terrible. While admiring the scenery in a boat, they threw rubbish and spat into t

40、he lake, not caring about the sign “No Littering” nearby. (50 words)内容空洞内容空洞2. Their behavior left a bad impression on me. We have to mind our behavior in public places, for the world is our home. When you want to throw the rubbish on the ground, mind your behavior. 解决问题：解决问题：思考思考：陈述观点要有理由支撑，逻辑要清晰。陈

41、述观点要有理由支撑，逻辑要清晰。无理由支撑？无理由支撑？逻辑关系？逻辑关系？语言单调语言单调2. Their behavior left a bad impression on me. Whatthey did polluted the lake and ruined the beauty. What if people do as they did in the park? A persons behavior gives away his personality, so next time youare in public places, mind your behavior. In th

42、is waywe will win respect and enjoy more beautiful environment. Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my friends in the Fairy Lake Park. We were enjoying the beauty of the lake when we saw something unpleasant.（雨泓）欣赏模仿：欣赏模仿：过渡一评：简洁、直奔主题、用词到位、形象评：简洁、直奔主题、用词到位、形象 Last Sunday, I went sightseeing with my

43、 friends in the Fairy Lake Park. We were enjoying the beauty of the lake when we saw something unpleasant.（雨泓）回顾：I was fast asleep when suddenly my bed began shaking and I heard a strange sound, like a railway train passing my window. 运用：This morning I was wandering in the street 更多过渡:欣赏模仿：欣赏模仿：图片描述

44、图片描述 The beautiful scenery in the park kept us spellbound.And I noticed two people boating on the lake, admiring the clear lake and looking relaxed. Suddenly, the man turned around and spat into the lake. At the same time, the woman threw some rubbish into it too, regardless of the sign “ No Litteri

45、ng” .(恒莉)评：描述清晰流畅、连接自然、非谓语动词使用评：描述清晰流畅、连接自然、非谓语动词使用 恰当、用词较高档。恰当、用词较高档。 The beautiful scenery in the park kept us spellbound. And I noticed two people boating on the lake, admiring the clear lake and looking relaxed. Suddenly, the man turned around and spat into the lake. At the same time, the woman

46、threw some rubbish into it too, regardless of the sign “ No Littering” .(恒莉) The beautiful scenery in the park kept us spellbound. And I noticed two people boating on the lake,admiring the clear lake and looking relaxed. Suddenly, the man turned around and spat into the lake. At the same time, the w

47、oman threw some rubbish into it too, regardless of the sign “ No Littering” .(恒莉) The beautiful scenery in the park kept us spellbound. And I noticed two people boating on the lake, admiring the clear lake and looking relaxed. Suddenly, the man turned around and spat into the lake. At the same time,

48、 the woman threw some rubbish into it too, regardless of the sign “ No Littering” .(恒莉) I was immersed in the fascinating scenery ( 琦凡) The scenery was beautiful beyond description.(世玉)totally ignoring（琼箫）（琼箫）turning a blind eye to（高原）（高原）欣赏模仿：欣赏模仿：过渡二 As far as Im concerned, their behavior not only damaged the beauty but also labeled themselves irresponsible people. (叶菲)2. The impolite behavior strikes a ne