趣味阅读：披头士的幽默

PAGE19趣味阅读：披头士的幽默"WhentheBeatlesconqueredtheworld,itwasn'tjustthemusicthatcapturedpeople.TheBeatlesbecameveryknownfortheirwitinpressconferences（新闻发布会）."

Press:Doesitbotheryouthatyoucan'thearwhatyousingduringconcerts?John:No,wedon'tmind.We'vegottherecordsathome.Press:HowdidyoufindAmerica?John:TurnleftatGreenland.Press:Areyouamodorarocker?Ringo:I'mamocker.Press:Areyouafraidmilitaryservicemightbreakupyourcareers?John:No.There'snodraftinEnglandnow.We'regoingtoletyoudoourfightingforus.Press:Areyougoingtohavealeadingladyforthefilmyou'reabouttomake?Paul:We'retryingtogettheQueen.ShesellinEngland,youknow.Press:Areyouscaredwhencrowdsscream（尖叫）atyou?John:MoresoinDallasthaninotherplaces,perhaps.Press:Areyouwearingwigs（假发）orrealhair?Ringo:Hey,where'sthepolice?Paul:Takeherout!George:Ourhair'sreal.Whataboutyours,lady?Press:Aren'tyoutiredofallthehocus-pocus（花招，戏法）?Wouldn'tyourather（宁愿）sitonyourfatwallets?Paul:Whenwegettiredwetakefatvacationsonourfatwallets.Press:Beethovenfiguresinoneofyoursongs.WhatdoyouthinkofBeethoven?Ringo:Ilovehim.Especiallyhispoems.Press:Canwelookforwardto（期待，期望）anymoreBeatlemovies?John:Well,there'llbemanymorebutIdon'tknowwhetheryoucanlookforwardtothemornot.Press:Didyoureallyusefourletterwords（粗口，脏话）onthetouristsintheBahamas?John:Whatweactuallysaidwas"Gosh".Paul:Wemayhavealsosaid"Heavens!".John:Couldn'thavesaidthat,Paul.Morethanfourletters.Press(toGeorge):Didyouwrite"Ringo'sTheme"?George:No,didyou?Youhaven'tbeenreadingthelittlebitsofpaper,haveyou,thatsayswhowrites"Ringo'sTheme"?Press:Doanyofyouhaveulcers（溃疡）?George:Nonethatwe'venoticed.Press:Doyoueverthinkofgettingahaircut?Paul:No,luv.Doyou?Press:Doyoufightamongstyourselves?John:Onlyinthemornings.Press:Doyougetmuchfanmail?Ringo:Weget2,000lettersaday.John:Weanswereveryoneofthempersonally.Press:Doyouhaveanyspecialadviceforteenagers?John:Don'tgetpimples（粉刺）.Press:DoyouhaveanyspecialmessageforDutch（荷兰）youth?John:TellthemtobuyBeatlerecords.Press:Doyouliketoplessbathingsuits?Ringo:We'vebeenwearingthemforyears.Press:Doyouplantorecordanyanti-war（反对战争）songs?John:Alloursongsareanti-war.Press:Doyouspeakfrench?Paul:Non.Press:Doyouwearwigs?John:Ifwedo,theymustbetheonlyoneswithrealdandruff（头皮屑）.Press:Doyouworryaboutsmokinginpublic?Doyouthinkitmightsetabadexampleforyouryoungerfans?George:Wedon'tsetexamples.Wesmokebecausewe'vealwayssmoked.Kidsdon'tsmokebecausewedo.Theysmokebecausetheywantto.Ifwechangedwe'dbeputtingonanact.Ringo(whispering):Weevendrink.Press:Doesalltheadulation（谄媚）fromteenagegirlsaffectyou?John:WhenIfeelmyheadstarttoswell,IlookatRingoandknowperfectlywellwe'renotsupermen.Press:Doesyourhairrequireanyspecialattention?John:Inattentionisthemainthing.Press:Don'tyouevergetahaircut?George:Ihadoneyesterday.Ringo:Youshouldhaveseenhimthedaybefore.Press:George,istheplaceyouwerebroughtupabitlikeGreenwichVillage?George:No,moreliketheBowery.Press:Girlsrushedtowardmycarbecauseithaspressidentification,andtheythoughtImetyou.Howdoyouexplainthisphenomenon?John:You'relovelytolookat.Press(toGeorge):Hi,you'renotmarried.George:No,I'mGeorge.Press:HowcometheBeatles,ratherthan200othergroups,clicked?Ringo:SometimesItrytofigurethatout,too.Press:Howcomeyouwereturnedbackbyimmigration?John:Wehadtobedeloused.Press:HowdoyoufeelaboutteenagersimitatingyouwithBeatlewigs?John:They'renotimitatingusbecausewedon'twearBeatlewigs.Press:Howdoyouaddupsuccess?Allfour:Money!Press:WhatwillyoudowhenBeatlemaniasubsides?John:Countthemoney.Press:HowdoyoufeelaboutanightclubcalledArthur,namedafteryourhairstyle?George:Iwasproud--untilIsawthenightclub.Press:Howdoyouspendyourtimewhenyou'recoopedupinahotelroombetweentheshows?John:Weplaytennisandwaterpolo,andhideourselvesfromourperolofficers.Press:Howdoyoustandinthedraft?John:Aboutfivefeet,eleveninches.Press:Howdoesitfeeltobeputtingonthewholeworld?Ringo:Weenjoyit.Paul:Wearen'treallyputtingyouon.George:Justabitofit.John:Howdoesitfeeltobeputon?Press:Howtallareyou,Ringo?Ringo:Twofeet,nineinches.Press:Isittruenoneofyoucanreadorwritemusic?Paul:Noneofuscanreadorwritemusic.Thewayweworkislike,wejustwhistle.JohnwillwhistleatmeandI'llwhistlebackathim.Press:Isittrueyoucan'tsing?John(pointingtoGeorge):Notme.Him.Press:Isyourwifeexpensive?John:Quite,quite...Paul:Howmuchdidshecostwhenyouboughther?John:Er,shewasaboutfiftypoundsinNairobi.George:Butshewassecondhand,wasn'tshe?Press:Wasshesecondhand??John:Howdareyou!John:Nomoreunscheduledpublicappearances.We'vehadenough.We'regoingtostayinourhotelexceptforconcerts.Press:Won'tthismakeyoufeellikecaged（被关进笼中的）animals?John:No.Wefeedourselves.Press:Paul,youlooklikemyson.Paul:Youdon'tlookabitlikemymother.Press:RecentlytherehasbeenanarticlepublishedinRollingStonemagazinestatingthatDayTripperwasaboutaprostitute,andNorwegianWoodwasaboutalesbian.Whatwasyou'reintentwhenwritingthesesongs?Paul:Wewerejusttryingtowritesongsaboutprostitutesandlesbians.Press:WhatwastheinspirationbehindElenorRigby?John:Thatone'saboutacoupleo'queers!Press:Ringo,howdoyoumanagetofindallthoseparties?Ringo:Idon'tknow.Ijustendupatthem.Paul:Ontourwedon'tgetoutmuch.Ringo'salwaysoutthough.John:Ringofreelances.Press:Ringo,whatstartedyourpracticeofwearingfourringsatonce?Ringo:Sixgottobetooheavy.Press:Ringo,whydoyouweartworingsoneachhand?Ringo:BecauseIcan'tfitthemthroughmynose.Press:Somepeoplehavebeencallingyourwork"unamerican".Howdoyourespondtothis?John:Well,that'sveryobservantofthem.Press:TheFrenchhavenotmadeuptheirmindsabouttheBeatles.Whatdoyouthinkofthem?John:Oh,weliketheBeatles.They'regear.Press:Wereyouworriedabouttheoversizedroughneckswhotriedtoinfiltratetheairportcrowdonyourarrival?Ringo:Thatwasus.Press:Whatabouttherecentcriticismofyourlyrics?Paul:Ifyoustartreadingthingsintothemyoumightaswellstartsinginghymns.Press:WhataboutthiscampaigninDetroittostampouttheBeatles?Paul:We'restartingacampaigntostampoutDetroit.Press:WhataresomeofyourfavoriteprogramsonAmericantelevision?Paul:NewsinEspanolfromMiami.Popeye.Bullwinkle.Alltheculturalstuff.John:IlikeAmericanTVbecauseyoucangeteighteenstations,butyoucan'tgetagoodpictureonanyofthem.Press:Whatcareerswouldyouindividuallyhavechosenhadyounotbecomeentertainers?Paul:Idunno.Maybesomethingwithartinit?Ringo:Ahairdresser.George:Ihadashortgoatbeinganelectrician's（电工）apprentice（学徒）.ButIkeptblowingthingsup（将事情搞砸）,soIgotdumped（抛弃，扔掉）.John:Nocomment.Press:Whatdoyouthinkofthepamphletcallingyoufourcommunists?Paul:Us,communists?Whywecan'tbecommunists.We'retheworld'snumberonecapitalists.Imagineus,communists!Press:Whatdidyouthinkwhenyourairplane'senginebegansmokingasyoulandedtoday?Ringo:Beatles,women,andchildrenfirst!Press:Whatdoyoucallthathairstyle?George:Arthur.Press:Whatdoyoudowhenyou'recoopedupinahotelroombetweenshows?George:Weiceskate.Press:Whatdoyoulooklikewithyourhairbackonyourforeheads?John:Youjustdon'tdothat,mate.Youfeelnakedifyoudothat,likeyoudon'thaveanytrouserson.Press:Whatdoyouthinkofthecriticismthatyou'renotverygood?George:We'renot.Press:Whatdoyouthinkyou'vecontributedtothemusicalfield?Ringo:Records.George:Alaughandasmile.Press:Whatexcusedoyouhaveforyourcollar-lengthhair?John:Well,itjustgrowsoutyerhead.Press:Whatisthebiggestthreattoyourcareers,theatombombordandruff?Ringo:Theatombomb.We'vealreadygotdandruff.Press:Whatisthereasonyouarethemostpopularsinginggrouptoday?Allfour:Don'tknow.Noidea.John:Ifweknew,we'dgettogetherfourboyswithlonghairandbemanagers.Press:Whatisthesecretofyoursuccess?John:Wehaveapressagent.Press:Whatisthisaboutanannualillness,George?George:Igetcancereveryyear.Press:Whatisyourfavoritefood?Ringo:I'mhunguponhamburgers.George:Allfourofusaremadaboutherosandwiches.Paul:Ihaveayenforgrilledcheesesandwiches（

焗芝士三文治）.John:GeorgeandIusuallywaituntilsomeoneelseorders,thensay"I'llhavethat,too".Press:Whatwillyoudowhenthebubblebursts?George:Takeupicehockey（冰球）.Paul:Playbasketball.Press:Whatwouldhappenifyouallswitchedtocrewcuts?John:Itwouldprobablybetheendoftheact.Press:Whenareyougoingtocutyourhair,Paul?John:Whatdoyoumean?Hegotitcutyesterday.Press:Whenareyougoingtoretire?Ringo:Inabout10minutes.Press:Whenareyoustartingyournextmovie?Paul:InFebruary.George:Wehavenotitleforityet.Ringo:Wehavenostoryforityet.John:Wehavenoactorsforityet.Press:Whenyoudoanewsong,howdoyoudecidewhosingsthelead?John:Wejustgettogetherandwhoeverknowsmostofthewordssingsthelead.Press:Wheredidyougetyourhairstyle?Paul:FromNapoleon.AndJuliusCaesartoo.Wecutitanytimewefeellikeit.Ringo:Wemaydoitnow.Press:Wheredidyouthinkupthehairdos?Paul:WegotthemfromaGermanphotographer（摄影师）whoworehishairthisway.George:ItwaswhilewewereinGermany.IwentswimmingandwhenIcameoutIdidn'thaveacomb.Somyhairjustdried.Theotherslikeditthewayitlooked,andtherewewere.John:We'vetoldsomanyliesaboutitwe'veforgotten.Press:Whichofyouisreallybald?George:We'reallbald.AndI'mdeafanddumb.Press:Whointheworldw