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第二讲读后续写读后续写任务要求考生在一段350词以内的语言材料基础上,根据该材料内容和所给段落开头语进行续写,将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接、情节和结构完整的150词左右的短文。读后续写除了要求学生掌握丰富的词汇和句式外,还注重学生的内容构思和情节衔接的能力。主要聚焦在以下四个方面:1.把握短文关键信息和语言特点的能力学生需要了解给定短文的主要内容,清楚其关键词和语言结构的使用情况,并通过续写短文表现出来。2.语言运用的准确性和丰富性在词汇和语言结构的使用方面准确、恰当,能够根据内容需要使用较为高级的词汇和语言结构。3.对语篇结构的把控能力考查对上下文逻辑关系的掌握情况,续写的短文应语句连贯、有序。4.创造性思维能力学生所续写的短文要具有较丰富的内容,包含详细和生动的情景、态度和感情描述。【评分标准早知道】一、各档次的给分范围和要求档次描述——创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高;第七档——使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅,语言错误(22-25分)少,且完全不影响理解;——自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连贯。——创造了比较丰富、合理的内容,比较有逻辑性,续写比较完第六档整,与原文情境融洽度较高;(18-21分)——使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达比较流畅,有个别错误,但不影响理解;——比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。——创造了基本合理的内容,有一定的逻辑性,续写基本完整,与原文情境相关;第五档——使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达方式不够多样性,(15-17分)表达有些许错误,但基本不影响理解;——使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。——创造了基本完整的故事内容,但有的情节不够合理或逻辑性不强,与原文情景基本相关;第四档——使用了简单的词汇和语法结构,有部分语言错误和不恰当之(11-14分)处,个别部分影响理解;——尚有语句衔接的意识,全文结构基本清晰,意义基本连贯。二、评分原则1.本题总分为25分,按七个档次给分。2.评分时,应主要从内容(1)续写内容的(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。3.评分时,先根据作答的整体情况初步确定综合衡量,调整档次,最后给分。4.评分时还应注意:(1)词数少于120的,酌情扣分。(2)书写较差,以至影响交际的,酌情扣分。(3)单词拼写和标点符号是写作规范的重要方予以考虑。英、美拼写和词汇用法均可接受。、词汇语法和篇章结构三个方面考虑,具体为:质量、完整性以及与原文情境的融洽度。准确性、恰当性和多样性。其所属档次,然后以该档次的要求来确定或面,评分时应视其对交际的影响程度【写作流程要记牢】1.归纳文本大意,推断叙述意图读后续写不是无视原文的独立创作,而是顺着原文作者的思路完成未完成的文本。动手续写之前,首先应认真阅读原文,理清原文的人物和事件,从而把握其文本大意和叙述意图。2.根据段落开头语,确定续写方向提炼出文本大意和叙述意图后,结合两个段落开头语想象续写部分的主要内容,预测故事的走向。3.根据关键信息,确定续写细节根据文本大意、叙述意图、段落开头语和续写方向,再结合材料中的关键词语(时间、地点、人/物和体现故事发展的词语等),确定续写部分的细节。4.调整写作语言,完成读后续写在具体续写时,要上下文照应,有效使用连接词使文本紧凑连贯。同时润色语言,用更准确、具体和生动的动词和形容词等,而进使人物更加鲜明,使故事更加生动。以上四个步骤和评分第七档(22-25分)的要求是相互对应的。四个步骤的逐个实施可以确保满足评分第七档在各个方面的要【名师提醒】求。1.所续写部分不能脱离各自段落的首句开头语这些开头语与传统写作中的开头语类似,在某种程度上引导你的思路向哪方面发展。2.读后续写要求读写并重与阅读理解题一样,读后续写同样需要对本篇文章精确理解,这样所续写部分才不至于偏离主题。3.关注续写内容有无把握主题(1)事件的走向及最终结局有无偏离作者的写作意图或主题意蕴、思想情感或人生哲理?
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。AfunnythinghappenedtoArthurwhenhewasonthewaytoworkoneday.AshewalkedalongParkAvenueneartheFirstNationalBank,heheardthesoundofsomeonetryingtostartacar.Hetriedagainandagainbutcouldn’tgetthecarmoving.Arthurturnedandlookedinsideatthefaceofayoungmanwholookedworried.Arthurstoppedandasked,“Itlookslikeyou’vegotaproblem,”Arthursaid.“I’mafraidso.I’minabighurryandIcan’tstartmycar.”“IstheresomethingIcandotohelp?”Arthurasked.Theyoungmanlookedatthetwosuitcasesinthebackseatandthensaid,“Thanks.Ifyou’resureitwouldn’tbetoomuchtrouble,youcouldhelpmegetthesesuitcasesintoataxi.”“Notroubleatall.I’dbegladtohelp.”Theyoungmangotoutandtookoneofthesuitcasesfromthebackseat.Afterplacingitontheground,heturnedtogettheotherone.JustasArthurpickedupthefirstsuitcaseandstartedwalking,heheardthelongloudnoiseofanalarm.Itwasfromthebank.Therehadbeenarobbery(抢劫)!ParkAvenuehadbeenquietamomentbefore.Nowtheairwasfilledwiththesoundofthealarmandtheshoutsofpeoplerunningfromalldirections.Carsstoppedandthepassengersjoinedthecrowdinfrontofthebank.Peopleaskedeachother,“Whathappened?”Buteveryonehadadifferentanswer.Arthur,stillcarryingthesuitcase,turnedtolookatthebankandwalkedrightintotheyoungwomaninfrontofhim.Shelookedatthesuitcaseandthenathim.Arthurwassurprised.“Whyisshelookingatmelikethat?”Hethought.“Thesuitcase!ShethinksI’mthebankthief!”Arthurlookedaroundatthecrowdofpeople.Hebecamefrightened,andwithoutanotherthought,hestartedtorun.注意:续写词数应为150左右。Ashewasrunning,Arthurheardtheyoungmanshoutingbehind,“Stop,stop!”ThetaxistoppedinfrontofthePoliceStationandArthur...[写作流程]第一步:归纳文本大意,推断叙述意图Arthur在上班途中,帮助一个年轻人将手提箱从车上拿下送到出租车上,而此时银行的警报响起,提着箱子的Arthur以为自己被当成是抢劫犯,拔腿就跑。本文旨在讲述一个有趣的故事,因而续写部分应与该叙事意图一致,也应该是有趣的。第二步:根据段落开头语,确定续写方向根据两段开头语中的“heardtheyoungmanshoutingbehind,‘Stop,stop!’”和“ThetaxistoppedinfrontofthePoliceStation”可猜测,续写第一段应描写Arthur坐上出租车要求出租车司机开往警察局。又根据第二段首句中的thePolicefunnything和原文中提到的theyoungman可预测,第二段应该描述Arthur原认为的银行第三步:根据关键信息,确定续写细节根据以上已知关键信息,可以勾勒出以下细节:Arthur认为年轻人是银行抢劫犯,看到年轻人在后面追赶,因此立刻跳上出租车,要求出租车司机飞速开往警察局,Station,结合原文第一段第一句中的打劫案件,结果却是一场乌龙。而到了警察局后,在向警官报告时,年轻人赶来,说箱子里只是行李而已。Arthur在看到箱子中的行李后,尴尬不已。第四步:调整写作语言,完成读后续写原文有大量的动作描写,也有环境和心理描写。在调整语言时,可以通过各种准确的词汇描写Arthur的动作、神态和心理。例如在续写部分第一段可利用具体的动作,描写Arthur飞速跑开,拦下出租车,跳上出租车等一连串的动作。【参考范文】As__he__was__running,Arthur__heard__the__young__man__shouting__behind,“Stop,stop!”Thinkingofthewaytheyoungmanhadbehaved,herealizedtheyoungmanmightbethebankrobber.SoArthurranfasterandstoppedataxi.Themomenthegotintothetaxi,hetoldthedriverthemanshoutingbehindwasthebankthiefandaskedhimtodrivetothenearestpolicestation.ThedriverfollowedwhatArthursaidanddroveaway.The__taxi__stopped__in__front__of__the__Police__Station__and__Arthurthankedthedriveranddirectlywentin.JustasArthurwasdescribingwhathadhappenednearthebankontheParkAvenueandreportedtheyoungmantothepolice,heheardavoiceoutside,“Help!Help!”TothesurpriseofArthur,itwastheyoungman.HehadfollowedArthurinanothertaxi.Itturnedoutthattheyoungmanwasinnocentandinsidethesuitcaseswerejustsomeclothes.Arthurfeltembarrassedbutthepolicementhankedhimanyway.微技能突破一归纳文本大意,推断叙述意图归纳记叙文文本大意的常用方法是要素归纳法,即找出记叙文的六要素(时间、地点、人物和事情的起因、经过、间/地点)做了什么事,最终结果如何”。推断记叙文叙述意图的常用方法是提问法,首先问自己“本文的中心么?”;然后问自己通过上述六要素及其叙述手法的选择“,作者向读者传达关该话题的什么情或理?”或“作者想让读者有什么样的感受或体验。”【名师提醒】结果),并将它们概括表达为“什么人/物(什么时话题是什了有阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2020·新高考卷Ⅰ)TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.Astheeconomywasindecline,somepeopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.Mrs.Meredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisitingthepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems,andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime,shewouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.Thelittleboy—hisnamewasBernard—hadinterestedherverymuch.“Iwishyoucouldseehim,”shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara.“Heissuchahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney,butIdon’tseewhathecando.”Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom,thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.“Iwishwecouldhelphimtoearnmoney,”saidClara.“Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”“SodoI,”saidHarry.“Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.”Forsomemoments,Johnsaidnothing,but,suddenly,hesprangtohisfeetandcried,“Ihaveagreatidea!Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成).”Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea,itwassureto注意:续写词数应为150左右。Witheverythingready,Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.1.速读故事找要素·发生时间:onemorning·发生地点:inasmallcommunity·主要人物:theMeredithfamily(Mrs.Meredithandherchildren),Bernard·事情的起因:Bernardwantsverymuchtoearnsomemoneytohelphispoorfamily.·事情的经过:Mrs.Meredithwantstohelpthepoorfamilybutshedoesn’tknowwhatBernardcando.·事情的结果:JohnhadagoodideatohelpBernard.Theycanmakepopcorn(爆米花)andBernardcantakeitaroundtothehousesandsellit.2.归纳文本大意善良的Meredith一家住在一个小社区里,他们想帮助一个贫困的家庭。那家的男主人生病卧床,女主人要照顾丈夫、无法外出赚钱,生活十分困难,家中的小男孩Bernard想挣钱养家,但不知道做什么事情。后来,Meredith的孩子John想出了一个主意——制作爆米花,让Bernard去卖爆米花。3.推断叙述意图本文是一篇助人为乐的文章,根据文本大意可推断出,本文的叙述意图是通过详细描述Meredith如何通过制作和卖爆米花帮助Bernard一家摆脱困境,以发扬光大“助人为乐【参考范文When__Mrs.Meredith__heard__of__John’s__idea”的传统美德。】,she__thought__it__was__a__good__one,too.SoshepraisedJohnforhisproposal,andofferedhimsomeadvice.Verysoonthechildrenwerebusypoppingthecorn,whiletheirmotherwentouttobuythepaperbags.Whenshecameback,shebroughtBernardwithher.AllthechildrencamesurroundingBernardandtheygaveabaskettoBernard.Thebasketwasfullofpaperbagswhichwerefilledwithpopcorn.With__everything__ready,Bernard__started__out__on__his__new__business.Andmuchsoonerthancouldbeexpected,Bernardreturnedwithanemptybasket.Neverbeforehadheearnedsomuchmoneyinhislife.Whenhefoundthatitwasalltobehis,hewassohappythathecouldhardlyspeak,buthisbrightsmilingfacespokeforhim.Peoplebegantowatchforthe“littlepopcornboy”,whoearnedsomemoneytotakehomeeveryweek.AllthiswasbecauseofJohn’sbrightidea.HedidnotforgetthehelpofMeredith’sfamily,andhealsodidwhathecouldtohelpthoseinneed.【范文赏析】该范文完全是在所给材料的文本大意和叙述意图的基础上进行续写的。续写中围绕主要人物theMeredithfamily和Bernard展开,对文本大意中的“后来,Meredith的孩子想出了一个主意——制作爆米花,让Bernard去卖爆米花”进行了合理的拓展,该范文详细描述了Meredith一家如何通过制作爆米花和Bernard卖爆米花帮助家庭摆脱困境。第二段中的HedidnotforgetthehelpofMeredith’sfamily,andhealsodidwhathecouldtohelpthoseinneed充分体现了所给材料的叙述意图“发扬光大助人为乐的传统美德”。总之,该范文创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2021·山东滨州三模)Arthurwasmessy.Hedidn’ttrytomakemesses,buthedidn’ttrytocleanupmuch,either.Therewerealwayssmallpiecesoffoodonthetablewhenhewasdoneeating.Hissocksnevermadeitintothehamper(洗衣篮).AndheonlypickeduphistoyswhenMomthreatenedtothrowthemaway.Mostdays,MomfollowedArthuraroundthehouseandcleanedupafterhim.Shebrushedthecrumbs(碎屑)intoherhandandthrewthemawayaftermeals.Shepickeduphissocksandmadesuretheygotwashed,driedandfoldedneatlybeforegoingbackinthedrawer.Sheoftenpickeduphistoyswhenheleftthemtodosomethingelse.Oneday,MomaskedArthurtopickuphistoytrains.“Notrightnow,”Arthursaid.Hewasreadingacomicbook.Thetrainshadbeenonthelivingroomfloorsincethemorning.“Youknowwhat,Arthur?I’mnotgoingtoaskyouagain.I’vedonecleaningtoday.”Andwiththat,Momputherfeetuponthesofaandpickedupabooktoread.Atdinnertime,Arthurnoticedthattherewasabigpileofcrumbsathisplaceatthetable.Mom’sspotwasniceandclean.Arthurdidn’tlikethecrumbsverymuch.Afterdinner,Arthur’sfeetfeltcold.Hewenttohisroomandopenedhisdrawer,butthedrawerwasempty.“Mom,wherearemysocks?”Arthurcalled.“Thereweren’tanysocksinyourhamper,soIdidn’twashthem,”Momsaid.Arthurfeltunhappy.Nowhisfeetwouldbecold,unlesshewantedtoweardirtysocksfromthefloor.Hedecidedtostaybarefoot.Whenitwastimeforbed,ArthursaidgoodnighttoMomandturnedtogoupstairs.Arthursteppedrightonhistoytraininhisbarefeet.“Ouch!”criedArthur.“Thatreallyhurt!”注意:续写词数应为150左右。However,Momwasstillreadingandsaidnothing.“Mom?”saidArthur.“TomorrowcanyoushowmehowtodothewashingsoIcanwashmysocks?”【写作思路】1.文章大意:Arthur是一个不爱整洁的男孩,直到有一天妈妈下定决心要惩罚Arthur,于是不再给他整理东西了。Arthur找不到自己的东西,尽管妈妈说了他很多次,他仍不改正,妈妈总是跟在他后面为他整理东西,没有袜子穿,脚还踩到自己乱丢的东西上弄疼了。2.叙述意图:生活中完全依赖他人是可耻的,一定要成为一个独立的人。【小试牛刀】However,Mom__was__still__reading__and__said__nothing.Arthurwasn’tsureifshehadheardhimornotsohecalledforhelpagain,butstillMomdidn’tcome.ThenArthurrealizedmaybeitwashethatcouldsolvehisproblematthatverymoment.Hequietlypickedupthetoytrainandputitinthebox.Itonlytookaminuteforhimtoputthetoyaway,andnowhewouldn’thavetoworryabouthurtinghisfeetagain.“Mom?”__said__Arthur.“Tomorrow__can__you__show__me__how__to__do__the__laundry__so__I__can__wash__my__socks?”“Ofcourse,”saidMom.“It’snicetoseeyoubegintolearntotakecareofyourself.IamalwaysheretodowhateverIcantohelpyoubecomeamoreindependentboy.”Arthurfeltbetter.Hedidn’twanttowaituntilthenextlaundrydaytohavecleansocksagain.Maybebeingneatwasn’tsohardafterall.微技能突破二根据段落开头语,确定续写方向提炼出文本大意和叙述意图后,结合所给短文的情景模式,即5W(Who?What?When?Where?Why?)和两个续写段落首句中与5W相关的要点,以5W的角度想象续写部分的主要内容,预测故事的走向。1.由于两个续写段落的首句已给出,因此预测续写第一段的续写方向相对第二段较为明确。而第二段的续写方向较为开放,需结合原文的人物性格特征和故事发展脉络大胆预测。2.续写方向的预测,必须密切结合原文的文本大意和叙述意图、情景模式以及原阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2020·山东省高考模拟卷)Thoughitisoneofthefadedmemoriesofmylifetoday,therearetimeswhenIrememberhisfaceclearly,especiallyhiseyes.AshehadyellowspotsonhiseyeswecalledhimSpotty.Hewouldhavebeenastray(流浪)dog,untilhecametome.Iwassevenyearsold.MydadhadjustgotanewjobinNasik.Wehadmovedintoarentedhouse.Itwasrainingveryheavilyonthedaywemoved.Itwasacolddarknight.Wehadourmealandwenttosleep.SomehowinthemidnightIheardsomestrangesoundsoutsidethemaindoor.IgatheredcourageandlookedoutthroughthewindowandIwasreallyamusedwithwhatIsawoutside.Therewasasmallpuppylyingonanolddoormatwhichmymotherhadputoutsidethedoor.Itwaswetandtrembling.Atfirstitwasdifficulttoseethelittleone.Itwastheyellowspotsonitseyesthatmademerealizeitspresence.ItwastryingtogetunderthedoormattoavoidthecoldairoutsideandithadmanagedtogetinasIcouldseeonlyitsheadoutsidethedoormat.Wasitsickorinjured?Ifeltpityforthepoorsoul.Iwentinandcameoutwithanoldtowel.Iwentneartheinnocentoneandhelditinmyhandandwipedthepuppytillhehadbecomedry.ItookAlmostayearlater,onemidnightweheardSpottybarkingbreathlessly.根据段落开头语,确定续写方向的前提要首先弄清楚所给材料的文本大意和叙述意图。【文章大意】因为父亲工作的原因作者搬到一个新地方,遇见了一条流浪狗,在一个又冷又黑的晚上,作者一家收留了这条流浪狗。【叙述意图】本文是一篇爱护动物的文章,根据文本大意可推断出,本文的叙述意图是生活中我们要爱护动物,保护受伤的动物,人和动物要和谐相处。【续写方向】第一段根据所给段落开头语Dayspassedonandoneeveningwhen,Spottyreturnedfromhisdailywalkwithabrokenleg,heappearedveryexhausted.“日子一天天过去,有一天晚上spotty从每天例行散步中回来,腿断了,他显得非常疲倦。”展开想象,可从Spotty受伤后带来的结果入手,后续可以写Spotty如何恢复,与家人的关系如何发展,需注意与续写第二段首句呼应。第二段根据所给语境Almostayearlater,onemidnightweheardSpottybarkingbreathlessly.“大约一年后的一个午夜,我们听到斯波蒂上气不接下气地叫着”,头的Thoughitisoneofthefadedmemoriesofmylifetoday,therearetimeswhenIrememberhisfaceclearly,especiallyhiseyes.(虽然这是我今天生命中尤其是它的眼睛)再结合本文开已经消逝的记忆之一,但有些时候我仍然清晰地记得它的脸,可推知,作者在回忆他和小狗之间的往事,本段可以围绕小狗在作者家失踪了展开写作。【参考范文】Days__passed__on__and__one__evening__when__Spotty__returned__from__his__daily__walk__with__a__broken__leg,he__appeared__very__exhausted.Hecametomyroomandsatnearme.ItwasthenthatIsawhishindlegwasinjuredandwasbleeding.Icalledoutmymotherandshequicklytiedabandagearoundhislegandgavehimfoodtoeat.Iwasveryupset.Butthenextday,Spottywasuptohisusualpranksthoughhelimpedabit.AfterthisincidentmyrelationwithSpottybecamemoreintense.Ireallyadmiredhimalotforhiscourage.Almost__a__year__later,one__midnight__we__heard__Spotty__barking__breathlessly.Wecameoutandsawthathewasbarkingcontinuously,headingsomewhere.AftersometimeSpottybecamequiet.Ipattedhimonhisbackandcameinside.Thenextdaymorning,myheartskippedabeatwhenIdidn’tseeSpotty.Isearchedforhimineachandeverycornerbuthewasnowhere.Andthistimehehadgoneandwouldnevercomeback.Icriedandwaitedforhim.Wewaitedforonelongweek.Buttherewerenosignsofhim.ThenonedaymyDadgottransferredtoMumbai.WeshiftedbacktoMumbai.WhatwouldhavehappenedtoSpotty?Wouldhehavedied?Theseweretheonlyquestionsinmymind,buttheyallremainedunansweredforever.【范文赏析】该范文完全是在所给材料的文本大意、叙述意图和段落开头语的基础上进行续写阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2021·山东济南三模)Iwokeat5:30A.M.afterarestlessnight’ssleep.Islowlyunzippedthetentdoortoinspectthenewday.Justlikeyesterday,thewindhaddropped.ItwasanotherbeautifulArcticday.Icrawledoutofmysleepingbagunwillingly.Iamnormallyamorningpersonbuttheintensecoldoutsidemadethatmorningmostunappealing.Anyhow,itwastimetogreetCharlieandstarttheday.MydogCharliewasupanditwasbouncingupanddownattheendofhischainlookingwellrested.Ipouredwhatlookedlikeapoundofdogfoodintohisbowl.Steppingoutofthetent,Ilookedaroundforbearsortracksandsawnone.Itwouldneverbeagoodthingtomeetapolarbear.AnInuit(因纽特人)oncetoldmethatIshouldwatchoutforpolarbears.HesaidthatifImetapolarbear,Ishouldkeepthefollowingrulesinmind.First,keepeyecontact,movesidewaysorslightlyforward,neverbackward,staycalm.Donotshowfearandstandbesidealargeobjecttomakemyselfappearaslargeaspossible.Weaponslikeflaregun(信号枪)arenecessary,butdonotshootunlessforcedto.Don’twoundabear,oryou’llmakeitevenmoredangerous,andneverrun.Itwasonlysixo’clock,soIdecidedtohavealeisurelybreakfastofabowlofmilkpowder,coconutflakes,andbuttermixedwithwarmwater.Isatonmysled(雪橇)toenjoymyfirstbreakfastoftheexpeditiononlytofindthatafterthethirdspoonfulitwasfrozen.Somuchforleisurelybreakfasts!Iaddedmorewarmwaterandatetherestasfastaspossible.SuddenlyIheardadeep,longgrowlcomingfromCharlie’sthroat.InaflashIlookedathimandtheninthedirectioninwhichhewasstaring.Itwasafemalepolarbearfollowedbytwocubs(幼崽)slowly,purposefully,towardme.Theyweretwohundredyardsaway.注意:续写词数应为150左右。Withmyheartquickening,IgrabbedmyloadedflaregunandcarefullywalkedsidewaysafewstepstoCharlie.Thewholeeventlastedfifteenminutesbutseemedyearslong.【写作思路】续写方向:1.第一段开头语是:心跳加快,我抓住信号枪,小心地向一边的Charlie走了几步。作者看到熊后的反应,即走向Charlie把它拴在绳子上,及Charlie看到熊后的反应等内容。2.第二段开头语是:整个事件持续本段应该写抓住信号枪向熊开枪警告,熊听到枪声后的反应了十五分钟,但似乎是持续了几年。本段应该写熊离开后作者的反应,比如是否会感到害怕,以及从这次与熊的相遇中的收获等内容。【小试牛刀】With__my__heart__quickening,I__grabbed__my__loaded__flare__gun__and__carefully__walked__sideways__a__few__steps__to__Charlie.Withouttakingmyeyesoffthebear,Iledhimtothesledandfastenedhischaintoarope.Thebearwasgettingcloser.RememberingalltheInuithadtoldme,Ifiredawarningshottothebear’sleft.Butonshecame.Then,Ifiredaflarerightinfrontofher.Shestoppedandlookedatme.ThenshefixedhereyesonCharlie,whowasbarkingwildly.Shelookedbackathercubsandwaitedforthemtocatchup,thenfinallymovedawaytowardmyright.The__whole__event__lasted__fifteen__minutes__but__seemed__years__long.MyhandswereshakingasIstoodstill,watchingthethreeslowlymovenorth.Butdespitethefear,Icouldfeeldeepdowninsidearealsatisfaction.InowknewthatIcouldstanduptoabearinthewildandstaycalmenoughtofunctionandstillrememberthewordsfromtheInuit.WithCharlie’shelpIhadpassedmyfirsttest.微技能突破三根据关键信息,确定续写细节为使续写部分情节构思有依据,首先要查找出原文中的关键信息。大多数关键信息和情景模式有关,表示时间、地点和人/物等。1.将关键信息结合到预测的情节中,展开合理的符合故事逻辑的拓展,勾勒出更加丰富的故事细节,然后罗列出即将续写的故事要点。2.不可无端加入新的人物、地点或事件等,或对次要人物、事件大费笔墨,造成喧宾夺主、偏离主题的后果。阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。Ihadaninterestingchildhood:Itwasfilledwithsurpriseandamusements,allbecauseofmymother—loving,sweet,andyetabsent-mindedandforgetful.OnestrangefamilytripwetookwhenIwaseleventellsalotabouther.MytwosetsofgrandparentslivedinColoradoandNorthDakota,andmyparentsdecidedtospendafewweeksdrivingtothosestatesandseeingallthesightsalongtheway.Asthefirstdayofourtripapproached,David,myeight-year-oldbrother,andIunwillinglysaidgood-byetoallofourfriends.Whoknewifwe’deverseethemagain?Finally,themomentofourdeparturearrived,andweloadedsuitcases,books,games,campingequipment,andatentintothecarandbravelydroveoff.WebravelyWedrovethroughseveralstatesandsawlotsofgreatsightsalongtheway.【文章大意】本文通过介绍一次出游经历,描述妈妈健忘、心不在焉、善良、爱孩子的性格特征。第一段概括妈妈的性格特征;第二段以妈妈遗落钱包的事情来说明妈妈健忘;由第三段担心妈妈遗忘孩子的事,说明妈妈心不在焉,同时侧面反映孩子的靠谱、沉稳;由最后一段倒数第二和第三句可看出妈妈很善良。【叙述意图】本文通过讲述一件有趣的事来体现“快乐、母爱、温情、亲情”。【续写方向】根据续写第一段开头语中的关键词werememberedthebrand-newtent可知,应着重描写围绕帐篷发生的有趣的故事。根据续写第二段开头语中的关键词alongtheway,第二段可描述一路上妈妈对孩结合首句中关键词greatsights,可【续写细节】子的关爱。简单描写景物与上文呼应。紧扣以上内容,再结合所给材料中的关键信息词可构思以下具体的故事情节。根据文中的关键词David,Mum,Dad,tent并结合文坚持搭帐篷→David和“我”希望爸爸拒绝(与原文爸爸反对搭帐篷呼应,突出家庭和谐)→在山下搭帐篷→妈妈忘记带枕头(突出妈妈的健忘)→以草代替枕头,“我”的脖子很疼,但是“我”欣赏了夜色。中的关键词absent-minded,forgetful,trip可构思第二段细节:每次宿营,都会读书或唱歌→她温暖的怀抱使我们感到舒适、安全→尽管妈妈健忘、心不在焉,但她的笑声陪伴“我们”一路→与祖父母团聚→旅行让“我”体会到了章中提到的健忘的妈妈忘记拿钱包,可构思第一段细节:妈妈根据文妈妈母爱和亲情。【参考范文】The__next__day__we__remembered__the__brand-new__tent__we__had__brought__with__us.Mominsistedthatwemustmakefulluseofitsincewehadbroughtit.DavidandIlookedatDad,hopinghecouldrefusehercrazyideaagain,buttoourgreatdisappointment,heagreedwithMom’sidea.Sowesetupthetentatthefootofthemountainbyariver.“Oh,Iforgotthepillows!”Momscreamedoutbeforeweslept.Finally,wehadtocollectsomegrassasourpillows.Despitetheacheofmyneck,Ienjoyedthenicenightwithfreshairandmillionsofstars.We__drove__through__several__states__and__saw__lots__of__great__sights__along__the__way.Thetentbecameaclosefriendthen.Everytimewecamped,Momreadabookorsangasoftsong.Thewarmthofherarmsletusfeelcomfortableand阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2021·山东青岛三模)Formanyyears,Ihadarecurring(重复出现的)dream.Iwasalittlegirlagain,rushingabout,tryingtogetreadyforschool.“Hurry,you’llbelateforschool,”mymothercalledtome.“Iamhurrying,Mom!WhatdidIdowithmybooks?”DeepinsideIknewwherethedreamcamefrom.Itwasaboutsomeunfinishedbusinessinmylife.Asakid,Ilovedeverythingaboutschool.Ilovedbooks,teachers,testsandhomework.MostofallIlongedtosomedaymarchdowntheaisle(通道)toreceivemydiploma.Thatseemedmoreappealingeventhangettingmarried.Butat15,Ihadtodropoutbecausemyparentscouldn’taffordtuition(学费).Myhopeofgettingadiplomawasdead,orsoIthought.Prettysoon,Imarriedandhadthreechildren,andIthought:“Theregoesmydiploma.”Evenso,Iwantedmychildrentobeeducated.ButLinda,ouryoungestchild,hadjuvenilearthritis(幼年型关节炎)inherhandsandknees,whichmadeitimpossibleforhertofunctioninanormalclassroom.IfeltreallysorryforherandIdidn’twanthertoliveherlifewithregret.Ididn’tgiveuphopeofherbeingbacktoschoolinsomeway.Oneday,Isawanadinthenewspaperforeveningcourses.“That’stheanswer,”Isaidtomyself.Lindaalwaysfeelsbetterintheevening,soI’lljustsignherupfornightschool.Lindawasbusyfillingoutenrollment(入学)formswhenthesecretarysaid:“Mrs.Schantz,whydon’tyoucomebacktoschool?”Ilaughed:“There’snoway!I’m55!”Buthepersisted,andbeforeIknewwhatIhaddone,IwasenrolledforclassesinEnglishandcrafts.“Thisisonlyanexperiment,”Iwarnedhim,buthejustsmiled.So,Itoldmyselftotryforjustasemesterandtoseeifitwouldwork.Anyway,mydreamwasstillthereinmyheart.注意:续写词数应为150左右。Itwasexcitingtogotoschoolagainbutitwasnogame.LindaandIsaweachotherthroughalltheseyears.【写作思路】1.第一段续写细节:上,刻苦学习→在夜校都表现得很好→成绩稳步提高。2.第二段续写细节:琳达鼓励我→她沮丧时,我鼓励她→最后,拿到坐在满是孩子的教室里很尴尬→白天,有许多家务要做→晚我沮丧时,了毕业证→获得奖学金→梦中的未完成的事业终于完成了。【小试牛刀】It__was__exciting__to__go__to__school__again__but__it__was__no__game.Sittinginaclassroomfullofkidswasawkward,evenifmostofthemwererespectfulandencouraging.Duringtheday,Iwasstillabusymarriedwomanhavingloadsofhouseworktodo.Intheevening,Iwasahardworkingstudentworkingonmycourses.Tomysurprise,bothLindaandIdidverywellinnightschool.Iwentbackagainthenextsemester,andmygradessteadilyimproved.Linda__and__I__saw__each__other__through__all__these__years.WhenIwasdown,Lindaencouragedme.“Mom,youcan’tquitnow!”Andwhenshewasdown,Iencouragedher.Ihavetosayitwasatimewhichwasreallyhardforbothofus.Butneitherofusgaveup.Atlast,Igotmydiploma.Tomysurprise,almostallofmyclassmatesvotedformetobetheclassspeaker,andIgota$3,000collegescholarship.Theunfinishedbusinessinmydreamswaseventuallyfinished.微技能突破四提升写作语言,靓化读后续写读后续写的语言如果平淡无奇,那么语句一定会变得没有表现力,也将影响故事内容的精彩呈现,因此要学会如何优化自己的语言。所以在确定故事大致走向,勾勒更加丰富的故事细节时,可以运用一些优化语言的技巧提升语言表达效果。一、人物描写描写人物可以从动作描写和心理描写两方面着手,这使得人物形象栩栩如生、活灵活现,个性特征更加鲜明。1.动作描写(1)要准确:表现一个动作可以利用许多动词,但应恰当利用最准确的动词,刻画对应的动作。试比较下面两句:①Thelittleboysaidsorrytohismother.②Thelittleboyhunghisheadandmumbledanapologytohismother.[分析]①句中“saidsorryto”不带任何感情色彩,而②句中使用了具体化的表示“说”的动词mumbled,从而使一个不愿意道歉又不得不道歉的小男孩的形象栩栩如生地复现在读者脑海中。(2)要过程:展示应按动作的先后顺序叙述整个过程。试比较下面两句:①Shewenttocatchthebutterfly.人物个性的动作时,应通过细节描写展示出动作的过程,在续写时,②Shecreptalongthepath,bentoverswiftlyandcuppedherhandsaroundthebutterflygently.[分析]①句在描写主人公捕捉蝴蝶的动作时,没有细节的动作描写,因此显得很平淡。而②句运用了creep,bend,cup三个连贯的动词生动具体地描述了主人公小心翼翼捕捉蝴蝶的微妙过程,具有极强的画面感。(3)要修辞:利用恰当的修辞手法来帮助描写动作。比喻、拟人、夸张等修辞手法都能让动作描写变得更有表现力。试比较下面的句子:①比喻a.Theoldman’sfacewrinkled.b.Theoldman’sfacewaslikeawitheredapple.②拟人a.Mystomachwasachingfornoteatingontime.b.Mystomachwaspunishingmefornoteatingontime.③夸张a.Whensheheardthebadnews,shecried.b.Whensheheardthebadnews,ariveroftearspouredout.[分析]上面每组中的b句分别使用了比喻、拟人、夸张的修辞手法,使得动作的描述更加生动形象,更加吸引眼球。2.心理描写心理描写可以揭示人物的内心世界,表达人物的性格、特点、感情和思想等。心理描写要符合人物特征。(1)落实“细微处描”写:在描写人物心理活动时,一定要突出细节,所有的感情都体现在“细微处”,所以尽量不用笼统的词,如smile,cry等,而用相关的细节性词汇或词组。①Lilysmiledhappily.②Lilyworeashiningsmileonherface.[分析笑的词汇,而②句中使用了woreashiningsmile,用词组的形(2)展示“丰富化”修辞:除了选择细致的心理描写词汇外,提升语言层次的另外]①句中“smile”是一个笼统的描述微式更加突出细节,展示了细微和精致的“微笑”。
一种方式是多使用修辞方法。①Thesmileonherfaceshonelikeadiamond.②IfeellikeIamfloatinginanoceanofsadness.[分析]①句中,把“微笑”比喻成“像钻石一样闪闪发光”;而②句中,把“悲伤”比喻成“漂浮在悲伤的海洋里”,展示了用修辞来体现细节描写的丰富。3.外貌描写(1)进行外貌描写时,可写对一个人的总体印象,也可以抓住人物重要的外貌特征或性格特点进行描述。如对妈妈性格的描写,采用了loving,sweet,absent-minded和forgetful等形容词,使一个可爱又健忘的妈妈形象跃然纸上。(2)可以具体描述人物的五官、着装,甚至可以配上动作描述。①Lookingathisweather-wornface,Iwassurprised.②Sheisofmediumheight,veryslim,butherfaceisaswhiteassnow.[分析]①句中的weather-wornface表示“饱经风霜的脸”;②句中mediumheight等身高”,aswhiteassnow来说明“脸色惨白”。这两句中,通过扩展饰,达
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