英语同桌作文范例erika task

6Answerallpartsofthe6addressesallpartsofthetask althoughsomepartsmaybemore fullycoveredthanothersPresentaclearpositionthroughoutthetask6presentsarelevantposition althoughtheconclusionsmay eunclearorrepetitiveExtendandsupportmain6presentsrelevantmainideasbut somemaybe 6usesparagraphing,butnot Logicalorganizationof6arrangesinformationandideas thereisaclearoverall Cohesive5mayberepetitive becauseoflackof andsubstitutionmakesinadequate,inaccurate over-usecohesive5usesalimitedrangeofvocabulary, butthisisminimallyadequateforthe 6makessomeerrorsinspelling theydo impedeGrtical5usesonlyalimitedrange attemptscomplexsentencesbut thesetendtobelessaccuratethan simplesentencesAccuracyofr6makessomeerrorsingrrand buttheyrarelyreduce Score（四项所得分/OtherItemsAffectingScore（扣分项Under×No.of0×——OverallBandScore最终分数老师的批改使用了word的备注,请务必用PC端看,使用<预览>//平9[35-4[15-[33-[13-8[31-3[11-[29-[9-7[27-2[7-[25-[5-6[23-1[3-[21-[1-5[19-0[0-[17-——Criminalshouldnotbesenttoprison.Theyshouldgiveeducationandtraininginstead.Towhatextentyouagree.Toyzeanessaytask,youshouldfindoutQuestion1.Criminalshouldnotbesenttoprison.Theyshouldeducationandtraining1.TowhatextentyouStudentRecently,atopicunderdebatehasbeenrevolvingaroundwhetherlawbreakersshouldundergotrainingandschoolinginsteadofpunishingthem.ally,Iwouldarguethatitismorejustifiabletoputthemintoprison.TaskYouhaveclearlypresentedthepurposeofyouressayinyourintroduction.YoumadesurethatallpartsofthetaskwillbeCoherenceWeneedtochangethearrangementofsomeideas,becauseisnotlogicallyLexicalThelexicalrangecanbeimproved.ThereminorerrorsinGrticalandTherearesomeerrorsingrr.YouusedcomplexformYoucanfurtherparaphrasethequestionbyexpandingtogetasimilarorrelatedGranted,theoptionthateducatingoffenderscanreceimprisonmentaspenaltyisnotreallybaseless.Tobeginwith,itmayhelpalleviateernments’financialburdens.Inotherwords,asmorelawbreakersarebeingeducated,therewouldbesmallerbudgetallocationforprisons.Thisallowsadministrationstoinvestmorefundintootherimportantpublicsectorssuchashealthcare,infrastructureandcharitableactivity.Thisinreturnwouldelevatethestandardofpeople’slives.Inaddition,itwouldalsobuildaharmoniousandproductivesociety.Forinstance,instructingthemwithcorrectandinstillingusefulworkingskillswouldnotonlyhelpthemtobereintegratedintothecommunity,butitwouldalsoallowthemtoacquireajobthatcansustaintheirliving.Consequently,itwouldlessentherateofhabitualoffence.TaskYoubrieflypresentedthefirstsideoftheCoherenceTheideasarelogicallyarranged.YouusedcohesiveLexicalThelexicalrangecanbeimproved.TherearesomeerrorswordformationandGrticalRangeandAccuracyYouusescomplexformofsentences.Therearegrticalerrorsespeciallywithimproperusageofpreposition,articlesandsubject-verbagreement.WeneedtobemindfulinusingtheappropriatewordsphrasestohaveaclearerNoteverything,however,intheprocessofrehabilitationhasapositiveeffect.Onemajorproblemisthatitmaycontributetohigherrateofcrime.Thismaythepreventionofcommittingacrime,especiallyforprospectiveoffender.Forinstances,underalowerpunishmentsystem,youngsterswhohardlydistinguishrightfromwrongaremorelikelythelawbreakers,intermsofrubberyandshoplifting.Evenworse,noteverycriminaliscapableofrecognizingtheirfaultssoevenintensivetrainingandeducationcannotchangewhotheyare,especiallyforsomeconvictedcriminals.TaskYouhaveexinedwellthedetrimentaleffectsoftheCoherenceandThepresentationofideasareinlogicalorder,howeveraresomepartsthatweneedtomoreprecise.Youusedcohesivedevicesinthisparagraph.LexicalTherearesomeerrorswithwordselectionandformation.usedaveragerangeofGrticalandYouusedcomplexformofsentences.TherearegrticalerrorsespeciallywithmissingWecanpronounsandothercohesivedevicestorefertosubjectsinsteadofrepeating Inconclusion,despitethebenefitsassociatedwithlettingtheoffendersattendtrainingandeducationalprograms,itseemstomethatitsdrawbacksaremoresignificantintermsofhighercrimerate,deterrenteffectandrepeated TaskYoupresentedyourconclusionbriefly,howeversometendtobeCoherenceTheideasarepresent