新高考读后续写高分素材-微技能之细节描写

实用标准文档新高考读后续写高分素材一微技能之细节描写读后续写微技能之细节描写1高考中续写的文体主要为记叙文。顾名思义，记叙文主要以记叙事件为主，因此需要用到许多的细节描写以使文章生动，言之有物。不少学生语言功底不错，但是续写始终得不了高分，其中一个原因可能就是细节描写的缺乏。那么，续写该如何写呢？我们应该做到兼顾概括描述和细节描述，而且要多用细节描述。所谓概括描述是指对一个事件的总体描述，而细节描述则是对事件的具体描述，来对之前的总体描述进一步解释说明，这样能够使得描述更加生动，有画面感。举例：如表达一个人的疲累时，可用概括描述：shefeltexhausted.同时辅以细节描述Shefeltexhaustedandsatbythestream,restingherachingfeet.如果大家注意这些细节的描述，一定会为你的记叙文续写增色！“感到害怕”的细节描述当看到那只凶恶的狼时，我感到很害怕。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。 参考答案：1.Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,Ifeltveryscared.2.1)Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,Ifeltsoscaredthatmythroattightenedandmykneesfeltweak.(嗓子发紧，膝盖发软)Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,Ifrozewithterror,tooscaredtomoveaninch.(吓呆了，不敢动弹)Atthesightoftheferociouswolf,Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofhorrorandmypalmsweresweating.(被深深地恐惧感所控制，手心出汗)表感到兴奋thrilled当主持人宣布她获奖时，她兴奋极了。实用标准文档1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。 参考答案：1.Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,shefeltthrilled.2.1)Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,hereyestwinkledwithexcitement.(激动得两眼放光)Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,herheartwasthumpingwithexcitement.(激动得心砰砰跳)Whenthehostannouncedthatshewontheprize,awideexcitementtookholdofher.(兴奋不能自已)1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。 参考答案：Uponhearingthebadnews,shefeltextremelysad.1)Uponhearingthebadnews,herheartached,tearsstreamingdownhercheeks.(心痛，眼泪直流)Uponhearingthebadnews,she,numbwithgrief,hadtroublespeaking.(悲伤至U失去知觉，不能开口说话)Uponhearingthebadnews,shefeltseizedbyaburstofsadnessandcouldn'thelpcryingbitterly.(被一股悲伤之感控制，忍不住哭泣)1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。实用标准文档2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。 参考答案：1.Whenhismotherkissedhimonthecheek,thebabywashappy/delighted/fullofjoy.2.1)Whenhismotherkissedhimonthecheek,itseemedasifthebabywereontopoftheworld.(非常开心)Whenthemotherkissedthebabyonthecheek,hisfacebeamedandhisbrightsmilelituptheroom.(眉开眼笑；笑容照亮房间)Whenthemotherkissedthebabyonthecheek,hiseyesdancedwithjoyandsweetness.(欢欣雀跃)1、 大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。（答案见底部Key1）2、 请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。1） 2） 3） （答案见底部Key2）参考答案：Key1:Shefeltashamed.Key2:1） Shefeltsoashamedthatshecouldfeelherfaceburning.（脸上滚烫）2） Soashamedwasshethatshecouldfeelthebloodrushtoherface.（血液涌上脸颊）3） Soashameddidshefeelthatshewasclosetotears （快哭了）Sheldon感到非常生气。1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。实用标准文档 参考答案：Key1:Sheldonfeltveryangry.Key2:Sheldonfeltsoangrythathestormedoutoftheroom,slammingthedoorfuriouslybehindhim.(冲出房间；狠狠摔门)Boilingwithrag,Sheldonshookhisfistatm.(怒火中烧；挥舞拳头)Filledwithfur,Sheldonwasunabletoutterasinglewor.(充满愤怒；说不出话)1、大家可以先尝试用概括描述，先将意思表达清楚。2、请你在此概括描述的基础上增加细节描述，注意逻辑关系以及语意的合理。 参考答案：Key1:Tonyfelthopeless/desperate.Key2:Astheresultofanaccident,Tonywassuddenlythrownintoaworldofdarknessandsankintohopelessness.(被投入黑暗之中；陷入绝望)TonyfeltleftoutandwasgettingdesperatewithIoneliness.(感觉被遗忘、忽视)Tony'sbeliefsinlookingforwardandseeingthepositiveineverythingdesertedhim.2、悄悄地走3、猛冲（答案见底部）实用标准文档Keys:Theplayerlosthisbalanee,staggeredbackandtoppledover.这个运动员失去了平衡，向后趔趄摔倒了。Sheslippedoutofbedandtiptoedtothewindow.她溜下床，踮起脚尖走向窗户。3.Theminionmadearushforthedoorandescapedfromthescene.小黄人向门冲去，逃离了现场。人的说话方式”细节描述说话的方式多种多样，如果都用talk就显得索然无味，也不够准确，所以要多积累各种各样的表达。1、说长道短；八卦2、小声咕哝3、嚎叫（答案见底部）Keys:Thewholecompanyisgossipingaboutthereasonforhisdismissal.整个公司都在谈论他被免职的原因。Hemurmuredagainstthestrictrulesoftherealityshow.他私下低声抱怨真人秀的严苛规则。Treatedsounfairly,shehowledinpainandanger.被如此不公正地对待，她痛苦而又愤怒的嚎叫。细节描述之“思考”如何表达一个人暗自思索时的样子对学生来说是很困难的，大多数情况下，学生往往会选择避开，但是，人无时无刻不在思考，强行避开会使得故事内容上有些不衔接。所以，今天我们就一起来学习一下如何表达一个人的思考神态。得知问题所在之后，他的大脑开始急速运转，想要想出一个好的解决方案。独自一人时，他总是会想到那可怕的经历。在他洗澡时，突然想到了一个好主意。（答案见底部）Keys:实用标准文档1.Afterheknewwhattheproblemwas,hismindbegantorac,tryingtothinkofagoodsolution.（大脑飞速运转）Whenleftalone,hewouldalwaysbehauntedbythathorribleexperience.（［不好的回忆］萦绕心头挥之不去）Whenhewastakingashower,abrilliantideasuddenlycrossedhismind（突然闪过某人的脑海）今天，我们来看看该如何描述安静祥和的场景。享受阳光山间有小屋和田地入暮时分，芦苇随风飘扬（答案见底部）Keys:1.WhenIwasbathedinthesunlight,itfeltliketheamber-likesunshinewaskissingeveryinchofmysk.（沐浴在阳光下；琥珀色的阳光亲吻着全身的肌肤）Mist-coveredmountainsweredottedwithsmallfarmsandvillages.（点缀着）Thesoundofmyfootstepswasaccompaniedonlybythegracefullywavingreeds.（优雅地随风飘扬的芦苇）今天，我们来看看该如何描述风雨交加的天气。乌云密布劲风恶浪肆虐暴雨疾风（答案见底部）Keys:Theskyisovercast,darkenedwithgloomyclouds.（乌云密布；黑云压顶）Onthatdarkandstormynight,thewaveswerecrashingandthewindswerehowling.（海浪肆意拍打；劲风咆哮）实用标准文档3.Theraincamepouringdown,thestreamsrose,andthewindsblewandbeatagainstthehouse.（暴风骤雨）读后续写对话中的常见误区1废话连篇，无助推动情节发展，刻画人物性格。“Hey,howareyou?"“I'mfine,howareyou?"“Howistheweather?" “Terrific!Nicedayforawalk,isn'tit?"评析：这样的对话在现实生活中很真实，但是小说毕竟是艺术加工，无助情节推动的，不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。2追求花哨，过度使用对话标签dialoguetags“Thatisfantasticnews,"hesaidhappily.评析：此句中完全没有必要加上一个happily来表达说的方式，因为句中的fantastic—词足以说明说话人了表情，过度强调dialoguetags会让读者的注意力集中在“说话的方式”而不是“说话的内容"。建议改为：“Thatisfantasticnews!"hesaid/screamed/exclaimed.（—个感叹号和一个fantastic已经足以让读者想象当时的情景。适当的“艺术留白"也是需要的，这样会留给读者想象的空间。还有一种避免过度的dialoguetags的方法是运用“动作描写”来取而代之。女如Hereyesreflectedthecandlelightasshesmiledatherson.“Everyoneisunique.Justfollowyourheartandbeyourself!"3用词不当，错误使用对话标签dialoguetags"Ican'tbelieveit,"Emmagasped."That'shilarious,"Henrychuckled.评析：以上两句话也是我在大量的学生习作甚至是范文中发现的。这里把动作描写和dialoguetags混淆了，试想谁能gasp（喘息）、chuckle（轻笑）出一句话？除非他或她有特异功能。纠正方法如下："Ican'tbelieveit,"Emmasaidwithagasp.（Questiontag+with介词短语）Emmagasped. "Ican'tbelieveit."（动作描写+句号）实用标准文档"Ican'tbelieveit"Emmagasped.（对话句断+动作描写）"That'shilarious!"Henrychuckled.（感叹句结束+动作描写）"That'shilarious,"Henrysaid,chuckling.（Questiontag+分词做伴随状况）请特别关注以上对话的标点。4多此一举，对话对象十分明确，仍使用对话标签“Itoldyoualready,"Isaid,glaring.评析：此句貌似豪华，其实对话中的主语“I”已经清晰地说明了说话者，完全没有必要用questiontag“Isaid"来说明说话对象。纠正方法：加上一点动作描写就可以避免这种错误，并且提升语言的生动性。Iglaredathim.“Itoldyoualready."5频用副词，词汇贫乏只会tell不会show“Howcanyoudothis?"shesaidangrily，lookingatmefuriously.评析：此句也是貌似“高大上"，使用了大量副词，并且套用了分词做伴随的句型。任何方面都有度，过之而不及。过度堆砌辞藻会让人生厌，过度使用副词也会让阅卷老师觉得你词汇贫乏，非得用副词才能表达出来。2大纠正办法：1） 积累相关的show的词汇来避免过度使用副词2） 穿插动作描写辅助对话，刻画人物心情试比较以下两句：“That'snotwhatyousaidyesterday,” shesaid,hervoiceimplyingshewaswithdrawing.“That'snotwhatyousaidyesterday."Shehesitated,turnedandwalkedtothewindow.评析：两句话粗看都是相当不错。无论从词汇和语法结构的使用似乎都属于上乘之作。但细细琢磨下面这句反而更高一筹。原因是，第一句用了imply和withdraw两词来tell说话者she的心情，而第二句hesitate和后面的动作描写让她的犹豫心情跃然纸上。小说故事要的就是这种show的方式。分析对话实例，揭示对话秘诀Example1原文内容：作者爸爸在阳台种植康乃馨，悉心呵护，作者一家都非常喜欢这些花。爸妈再三实用标准文档强调不允许作者和他姐姐不能触碰这些花。Tooursurprise,Dadwasmadaboutit,yellingatus,“Don'tyouknowtouchingisnotallowed?Whatonearthhaveyoudone?”赏析：反义疑问句和onearth的使用加强了语气，凸显了父亲的生气。Example2原文内容：母亲去世，哥哥外出。父女相约吃饭，引发了女儿对母亲和哥哥的思念，父亲读懂了女儿内心的想法，安慰女儿。母亲在天堂一定希望他们过得快乐，现在他们需要做的就是珍惜身边的人。Seeingthis,myfatherlovinglyheldmyhandsandsaidtome,“Sweetheart,Ibelieveyourmothermustwantyoutolivehappily,sosaygoodbyetothepastandembracethepresent.YourbrotherandIwillalwaysbewithyou.”赏析：情感类的对话要求感人，触及内心，这点此对话做的不错。但是小编也要对此对话提出点意见1)文中的andsaidtome完全没有必要，因为对话对象非常清楚，肯定和我说。2)yourmother显得太疏远，亲人间相互称呼用Mom即可，更显真实，贴近生活。Example3原文内容：作者家突然停电，虽然弟弟觉得停电时间非常无聊，但是作者却非常享受停电时间，享受“没有现代电子科技带来的干扰”的宁静片刻。Bzzz!Thelightsreturn.“Yeah,nomorecandles!”Mymotheryells,pullingmeawayfrommyfantasy.员析：对话简洁自然，表达了说话者恢复用电时候的兴奋，对话外面的dialoguetag也很出色，分词的使用既丰富了语言也推动了情节的进一步发展。Example4原文内容：主人公Jenny通过自身的劳动获得了心爱的项链，形影不离。父亲每日给她讲睡前故事。父亲故意试探女儿，问是否可以把项链给他。Jenny深爱爸爸但不舍自己努力得来的项链。Aweeklater,herfatheronceagainaskedJennyafterherstory.“Jenny,youloveme,don'tyou?Givemeyourpearls,okay?“Daddy,whymustyouaskforthepearls?"Jennyrefusedagain.“NotonlydidIfinishallthosechores,butalsoIspentthedollarbillgivenformybirthdayjusttopayforit."Theybothfellintosilence.Thenherfathersmiled，comfortingherwithawarmhug.“That'sokey,darling.Goodnight."Severaldayslater,whenJenny'sfathercameintoreadherastoryasusual,hewassurprisedtofindsomethingunderthestorybook,whichturnedouttobethenecklace.“Daddy,nowyoucanhaveit."Jennyraisedherhead,实用标准文档“Youknow,Iloveyou.”Herfatherwasmovedbeyondwords.Slowly,hepulledsomethingoutofhispocket.Itwasaprettynecklacewithrealpearlsshining.“Themoreyouarewillingtogive,themoreyouarelikelytoreceive.That'stherealmeaningofsharingandgiving.”HerfatherhelpedJennyputonthenecklace.“Youknow,Iloveyou,littleone.”赏析：此文运用了大量的对话，主要是考虑到与前文的协同。大量的父女间的对话穿插一些旁白或动作描写很好地刻画了人物之间的冲突，细腻生动地刻画了人物心情。一般的读后续写不建议用太多的对话。适当的对话可以打破单调，推动情节，刻画人物性格。对于此文中的对话，小编也想提出点个人的意见：1)“NotonlydidIfinishallthosechores,butalsoIspentthedollarbillgivenformybirthdayjusttopayforit.”此句似乎为了使用notonly…，butalso的倒装句型而写对话，显得很不自然。语句太长反而不能表达小女孩当时的生气。建议改为:“It'smine!Myefforts!”反而显得简洁自然，同样达到了效果，符合人在生气时候的说话方式：短句！不完整句！2)还有一处标点的使用也有误。请看：Jennyraisedherhead, 此处的逗号要改为句号。只能作为动作描写，而不是questiontag。Example5原文内容：这是一个哲理故事，讲述一位商人儿子去向智者寻找快乐秘诀。智者让年轻人带着两汤勺油绕城一周不能将油洒落。智者待年轻人回来后问他是否欣赏到城堡的美景，年轻人哑口无言。然后智者重新让这年轻人带着两勺油绕城一周，结果……“ButwherearethetwodropsofoilIgaveyou?"askedthewiseman.Embarrassedagain,theyoungmanapologized,“Ihadforgottenthesptotally.Myonlyconcernwastheattractivesights." “Butyouhavegotthehappiness."Smiledthewiseman…“ButwherearethetwodropsofoilIgaveyou?"askedthewiseman.Heloweredhisheadandfoundthattherewasnothingleftinhisspoon,astonishedandembarrassed.Thenthewisemansmiledgenerously,“Idon'tblameyou.Ijustwantyoutorealizethesecretofhappinessyourself.Now,couldyoutellmeaboutyourthoughts?"Theyoungmanthoughtforawhileandslowlyreplied,“thetruthofhappinessisholdingourdreamstightlybutneverfailingtowatchthebeautifulsceneryaroundus."赏析：此文的对话主要是用来揭示故事的寓意，通常出现在故事的末尾。这样的对话一定要写出深度厚度，才能博得老师的高分。建议可以使用强调句。此文中也实用标准文档有一个标点瑕疵。请看：Thenthewisemansmiledgenerously,此句的逗号也要改为句号，作为动作描写穿插其中，而不是questiontag。他山石可攻玉|这些“恐惧”情绪的表达你都用过吗？一篇出自美国初中生的看图说话与2018年6月浙江英语高考“读后续写”酷似！Writeashortstorybasedonthepicturesbelowinnotlessthan100words.Oneweekend,myparentsdecidedtobringmybrotherandItotherecreationaljungle.Wewereveryexcitedaswehadnotbeentherebefore.MybrotherandItalkedaboutallthebears,tigersandreindeerweweregoingtosee.Wereallythoughtthatarecreationaljunglewaslikeanyotherjungle.Whenwearrived,wedashedintothejungle,wantingtoexploreitslengthandbreadth.Weobedientlyfollowedourparentsatfirstbutfounditboring.Justthen,arabbitrushedout.Iscreamedindelightandranafterit.Mybrotherfollowedquicklybehind.Wekeptrunning,alwayskeepingoureyesontherabbit.Therabbitgottiredofrunninganddecidedtohideinitsburrow.Itwasonlythenthatwerealizedthatwedidnotknowwherewewere.Thetreeslookedunfamiliarandtherewerenomorejunglepathsforustofollow.Wewerescaredaswerealizedthatwewerelost.Nightwasapproachingandthehootingoftheowlsentshiversdownourspines.IbegantocryasIwasfeelingtired,hungryandsleepy.Mybrothercomfortedmebylettingmesleeponhislap.Isoonfellasleepdreamingofbearswaitingtoeatmeup.Suddenly,Iwokeup.Mybrotherwasshakingmeandtellingthemtogetup.Wecouldhearvoicescomingourway!Weshoutedwithallourmightthatwewerelost.Wesoonsawbeamsoflightfromcountlesstorches.Thenweheardourparents'voices.Weweresafe!MybrotherandIrantoourparentsandembracedthememotionally.Weweresohappytoseethemagainthatwevowedweneverwantedtobeseparatedfromthemeveragain.Notes：burrow:aholeinthegrounddugbyananimalsuchasarabbit,especiallytoliveinsendshiversdownsb'sspines:tomakesomeonefeelveryfrightenedvow:tomakeadetermineddecision实用标准文档Studythefollowingthefollowingexamplesandlearnhowtoshowfearone'sExample1-Fear:Midnight,andsomeonepoundedonthefrontdoor."Mom?Dad?"Wherewerethey?Themoviegotoutat11.Mollycrawledoutofbedandtiptoeddownstairs.Ashadowyfigureshowedthroughthefrostedglassinthefrontdoor.Fearnibbledathermakingherkneeswobble.Mom'svoiceechoedinsideherhead."Remember,don'tanswerthedoorwhenwe'reaway."Mollycrouched,backpressedagainstthewall,mouthdry-as-dirt."Please,goaway,"herwordsachokedwhisper.KeyWords-pounded,crawled,tiptoed,shadowy,fearnibbled,wobble,echoed,crouched,pressed,dry-as-dirt,choked・Comments：1） 例1中大量运用了短句，戏剧性的短句能够增强紧张感2） 这些关键字大部分都是强有力且活跃动词。3） 简短的dialogue有效推动了情节发展，营造了栩栩如生的恐惧的场景。It'sYourturn:Example2-Fear:Icanfeelthesweatdrenchmyskin,thethrobbingofmyowneyes,theringingscreamsvibratinginmyears,andthethumpingofmyheartagainstmychest.Myfingersarecurledintoafist,nailsdiggingintomypalm.Ican'thearmyrapidbreathing,butIcanfeeltheoxygenfloodinginandoutofmylungs.Hesitantly,myeyeslookatthedeadcorpsebeforeme,thepersonIkilled.Feartorturesmyguts,churningmystomachintensecramps.Fearengulfsmyconscienee,knockingallotherthoughtsaside.Fearoverwhelmsmybody,makingitdrasticallyexhausted.However,mostofall,thefearismakingmecalmandthatiswhatscaresmethemost.Keywords： Yourtreasure: 实用标准文档Example3-FearTimepassedslowly.Cathystayedhiddenwithinthedarkness,feelingeverybeatofherheartpoundingonthecoldstoneshelayupon.Thewineandalecellarwasasquietasitwasdark,withonlyonesoundtobeheard;thesoundofherownpulsethrobbinginherears.Suddenly,theserenityofsileneesurrenderedtothedeathlyscreamofhinges,asthedooroppositeherwasslowlypriedopen.Anarrowstreamoflightgracefullymeanderedthroughtheroom,andashadowquicklyfollowed.Shewasscared.Cathyheldherbreathe,daringnottomakeasound.Eachsecondseemedtolastaneternityasshelayperfectlystilllisteningtothefootstepsoftheintruder,whichhadmutedthepoundingofherpulse.Keywords： Yourtreasure: 恐惧来自自身，最大的恐惧其实就是恐惧本身！读后续写微技能如何让你笔下的对话更加准确传神对话（dialogue）是故事角色在整个故事中对彼此或对自己说的话。它可以用来揭示人物的性格和个性，它也可以用来推动情节向前发展，并展示情节发展的过程。对话是故事中最重要的元素之一。对话的语言要避免冗长的叙述，要避免直接告诉读者而要通过其他手段来展示它们。优秀的对话会让你故事中的人物生动立体，栩栩如生，将推动你的故事进展，使其更有乐趣，而拙劣的对话将破坏一个好的故事。11.如何准确使用对话中的标点请观察下面的句子。Jackasked,“Doyouthinkitwillraintoday?”“Ihaveanewumbrella,”explainedEmily,“andIamexcitedtotryitout.”“Whydon'tyouchecktheweatherforecastonyourphone?”suggestedCarly.“Itisassimpleasthesmileonyourface,”hesaid.实用标准文档先看一个如何使用标点的视频英语对话标点使用规则：第一、对话提示词（Dialoguetags）“Jackasked,”/“explainedEmily,”/“suggestedCarly,”的位置可以放在引用的对话前、中、后三个位置。第二、对话中的逗号，永远在引号里面。对话提示词“某某人说”构成了整个句子的框架，它和它引用的部分是一个整体，是完整的一个句子。这就解释了很多老师的疑惑，为啥对话有时候引用的对话说完了，但是后面却用逗号。如:“Itwasashardasarock,”hesaid.但是：Hesaid，“Itwasashardasarock.”第三、整个对话（引用部分+对话提示词）完整的时候，才能使用句号。对话开始首字母大写。如果对话提示词是插在一个完整对话中间的，后面需要用逗号。且后半句话开头首字母要小写。如:“Ihaveanewumbrella,”explainedEmily,“andIamexcitedtotryitout.”Exercise1：给下面的句子加标点There'safiftypercentchanceofrainthisafternoon,reportedEmily.Emilyasked,DoyouthinkIshouldtakemynewumbrellatoschool?Ofcourseyoushouldtakeittoschool,answeredJack.Ifitstartsraining,Carlyadded,youwillbeniceanddry.Emilysquealed（尖叫），Iseedarkgraystormcloudsrollingin.Ohno!exclaimed（惊叫）Jack.CarlyandIdon'thaveumbrellas.Hooray!yelled（喊叫）Emily.It'sfinallyraining.Carlymumbled（咕哝地说）,Myhairisgettingsoaked.WouldyouandJackliketosharemyumbrellawithme?askedEmily.ThankyouEmily,saidCarly.You'remorethanjustafairweatherfriend.2如何让你的对话不平庸对话的关注点就是故事中的角色1） 对谁说了什么话2） 说话的同时在做什么3） 如何说的例1A:"Givemethemoney,"Katherinesaid.实用标准文档B:"Givemethemoney,"Katherinesaid,eyesstaringatthemoneyonthetable。在高考读后续写的实际操作中，我们更加钟爱B这种句式，既表明了说话对象，又描述了说话的方式，让读者更有画面感。例2"Givemethattoygun,"Tomsaidangrily.Lucygrinned,hidingitbehindherback.这组对话中的saidangrily的使用让整个对话表现平庸。改变这种现状的办法有两种换直接告诉的词（saidangrily）为展示型词汇（如：shouted/screamed/barked）请看下面视频在上下文语境明确的情况下，通过动作和神态描写来代替枯燥乏味的sb.said…（对话提示语）。这样处理的好处是：1）增加表现力生动性2）避免打断对话的语流。如：TomslammedthedollonthegroundandglaredatLucy，"Givemethetoy."Lucygrinned，hidingitbehindherback..提示：在读后续写的创作中，尽量少用副词来表述说话人讲话方式（因为你用了副词那就是tell而不是show），特别是你要主要渲染的场景.让你的对话有趣逼真有画面立体感的是你如何使用show的技能，那就一定要使用一些描绘性的动词。（他们说了什么话，说话时同时在做什么，以及是如何说的）拙劣表达：_"I'mgoingtothestore,"Sydneyannouncedhappily."Wannagowithme?"上面这个例子中Sydney的感情是直接告知的，干巴巴的，了无生趣。优秀表达：Sydneypulledhisshiny,newdriver'slicenseoutofhispocket.Thecarkeyswerealreadyinhishandasheflashedthemathislittlesisterandgrinned."I'mgoingtothestore,"heannounced."Wannagowithme?"第二个例子中，虽然没有用happily一词，但是Sydney的高兴的表情是通过动作描写溢于纸面。这样的表达就能博得高考阅卷老师的眼球，从而获得高分。实用标准文档下面的两个例子都是我们需要追求的：“Ijustdon'tknowanymore,”Maryfoldedherarms・“IthinkI'mafraidofyou.”Harrysighed.“I'msorry,”Heshookhishead・“I'mnotverygoodatthis.”练习2：试比较体会下面三句话的优劣ButIdon'twanttogotosleepyet,"hesaidunhappily.ButIdon'twanttogotosleepyet,"hewhined.Hestoodinthedoorwaywithhishandsballedintolittlefistsathissides・Hisred,tear-rimmedeyesglaredupathismother."ButIdon'twanttogotosleepyet."Exercise3：（请改写下面的句子使它表达更生动传神）“Idon'twanttoseeyouagain,”Lilysaidtonelessly.“Youdon'tmeanthat,”Jacksaiddesperately.“You'reanidiot,”Lilysaidangrily.对话并不难写。只要记住在任何时候都要生动逼真。在准确的对话格式的前提下，确保你写的所有内容都是展示出来的，不是简单直接地告诉读者在那个场景中发生了什么或者说了什么。省略副词或者不要过度使用副词。这些简单的规则可以帮助你写出出色的对话。PossibleanswersforExercise3Lilyturnedawayandcrossedherarms.“Idon'twanttoseeyouagain.”“Youdon'tmeanthat.”Jackpushedtohisfeetinarush・Sheglaredathim.“You'reanidiot.”读后续写微技能|氛围营造法之一：8大场景描写技能好的读后续写必然要有好的故事氛围。而好的故事氛围要受到多个故事元素的影响：场景、用词选择、对话、独白、语言节奏和修辞法等等。文学中的（mood）是一种写作的氛围或普遍基调，它是读者在阅读文本时候的一种情绪体验，也是作者想要给读者营造的一种故事氛围。故事场景是情绪体验的核心因素。故事的实用标准文档背景和每一个场景的视觉，嗅觉和听觉等其他感官能够营造出一种特定的气氛。今天小编就想从场景描写这个角度来谈谈如何营造（mood）。Whattowrite?（写什么？）Wheredidittakeplace?Whendidithappen?What'stheweatherlike?Whatarethesocialconditions?Whatisthelandscapelike?Whatspecialdetailstoadd?Howtowritewell?（怎么写？）Technique1:Personification（拟人）Description/purpose:Givesanobjectthecharacteristicsofalivingthing,bringingittolifeExamples：Theflowersnodded.Snowflakesdanced.Thundergrumbled.Fogcreptin.Thewindhowled.实用标准文档Thehauntedhouseseemedtostareatme,beckoningmetowardsthedoor.Technique2:simile（明喻）Description/purpose:SimileslikenssomethingtosomethingelsegivingamoredetaileddescriptionExamples：Thenightskywasasdarkasthedeepestocean.Thestarssparkledlikediamonds.Thesnakemovedlikearippleonapond.Technique3:metaphor（暗喻）Description/purpose:Metaphorssaythatsomethingissomethingelse,givingthedescriptionmorepowerExamples：Awaveofterrorwashedoverhim.Technique4:Vividadjectives（生动的形容词）实用标准文档Description/purpose:Tomakethestorymoreinterestingandvividbyusingmoreimaginativedescriptions,sometimesinalistExamples：Gleaming,glistening,whisperyflakesofsnowTechnique5:Negativedescription（否定描述）Description/purpose:Totellthereaderwhatisnotthereisaneffectivewayofshowinghowunpleasant,comfortlessaplaceisExamples：Therewasnocushion,nocarpet,nowarmth,nolightandnocomfort.Technique6:Camera-panandzoom（摄影-全景+放大）Description/purpose:Tousetheideaofhowafilmdirectorworks,youcangiveawiderviewthenfocusinononedetailExamples：实用标准文档Fromthewitheringtreeshelookedpastthelitteredfarmyard,acrosstothedecrepithovel.Itsdoorshungsadlyawry,thehandlebroken.Technique7:Nounsfordetails（纟田节名词）Description/purpose:Scenesarefilledwiththingsthatweseeandthereforeuseslotsofnouns,evenlistsofnounstoconveywhatisthere.Examples：Theroomswerecrowdedwithlanternsfastenedonoakpaneledwalls,tableslaidwithsilvercandlesticksandgoblets.Technique8:Senses（感官）Description/purpose:Allofoursensesbecomeawareinanewsituationorplace.Yourreaderneedstoknowhowyourcharacterarefeeling.Examples：Waftsofsalt-ladenairwereinhernostrilsastheskitterysandonherfeetledhertotheedgeofthewaves.Goodsettingdescriptionforappreciation（佳“景”赏析）Thehousesmelledmustyanddamp,andalittlesweet,asifitwerehauntedbytheghostsoflong-deadcookies.Thesunkeptdippingdownintotheoceanandthelightscameonattheharbor,castingsuddenshadowsontheground,illuminatingthefacesthatwerejustasecondagosilhouettes.Theskywasgoldenandpurple,theoceanadarkershadeofviolet.Thesunhadset,butafaintpastelhazelingeredinthemid-summersky.Theyrolledupthepath,treebranchesrakingthewindshieldlikeangrywardens.Outside,theairfilledwithcricketnoise,asthesunreddenedinitsdescent.ArestaurantoverlookingastarlitnightsprangtomyimaginationlikesomethingoutofanilluminatedmanuscriptfromthelateMiddleAges.Themoonwentslowlydowninloveliness;shedepartedintothedepthofthehorizon,andlongveil-likeshadowscreptuptheskythroughwhichthestarsappeared.Allbrightnesswasgone,leavingnothing.Westeppedoutofthetentontonothing.Sledgeandtentwerethere,Estravenstoodbesideme,butneitherhenorIcastanyshadow.Therewasdulllightallaround,everywhere.Whenwewalkedonthecrispsnownoshadowshowedthefootprint.Weleftnotrack.Sledge,tent,himself,myself:nothingelseatall.Nosun,nosky,nohorizon,noworld.Nighthadfallenfastupontheland.Nomorethananhouragotheskywaspaintedwithhuesofred,orangeandpink,butallcolourhadfadedleavingonlyamattblackcanvaswithnostarstobelookedupon.Itwouldbeacoldmoonlessnight.Theskywasdarkandlow,theairsochilledithurttobreathe.Alreadythegroundwaslaidwhitewithfrostandanywaterthathadbeenliquidunderthewintersunhadbecomeice.后续写微技能|氛围营造法之二|3大高潮营造法IWhatisaclimaxofastory?(什么是故事高潮？)文学故事中的高潮(climax)——故事的主要场景(keyscene)也通常是故事的转折点(turningpoint),是指故事达到最紧张或扣人心弦的那一部分。高实用标准文档潮有时候是剧情中的"危机"点。有时候，它只是达到关键时刻或者转折点，发生了一些事情，或者主角必须做出决定，从而导致一个结果或其他。我们在分析叙事类故事或者小说故事的时候常常用下面的图表来表示故事情节。常见故事高潮示例：Alittlegirlhasbeensearchingforherlostdog.Allofasudden,shehearsabarkcomingfromaroundthecorner,andshelooksaroundtosee...Kevinhasworkedveryhardtotryoutforthesoccerteamatschool.Thecoachhaspostedalistofthisyear'steammembersonhisofficedoor.Kevinwalksforwardtolookatthelist....Mary'sparentshavebeendiscussingwhetherornottomovetoanotherstate.TheycallMaryandhersisterdowntotalkwiththemabouttheirdecision...Loishasperformedinthestategymnasticsfinals.Shewaitsanxiouslytohearthenamesofthewinners.Theannouncersays,"Andfirstplacegoesto..."文学名著中的一些故事高潮ThedeathsofRomeo（whokillshimselfbecausehethinksJulietisdead）andJuliet（whokillsherselfwhensheawakesandseesRomeodead）.RomeoandJuliet,Shakespeare（罗密欧和朱丽叶，莎士比亚）WhenGastonandthetownspeoplecometoattackthebeast,andBelleadmitsherloveforthebeast.BeautyandtheBeast,Disney（美女与野兽，迪士尼）In"TheThreeLittlePigs,"suspensebuildsupuntiltheconfrontationbetweenthethirdpigandthewolf.Thisconfrontationistheclimax.（三只小猪）2Howtocreateaclimaxofastory?（如何营造故事的高潮？）方法1•增加外部冲突增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来紧迫感，将故事推向必要的解决或崩溃。1）角色之间的冲突（人物观点差异，竞争需要等）如：2017年11月浙江英语高考：Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime,Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely-lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetuptentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous.开车找旅馆---徒劳无功---母亲建议搭帐篷在他人后院---David和我倍感紧张，心有不悦（母子的观点不一）2） 角色与环境之间的冲突如：2017年6月浙江英语高考：ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim hesawinstantlythatitwasn'tadogatall,butawolf:quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac'sheartjumped ,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac'srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater, Thenit ,tearingopenhistentbag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellback Mac骑车独自行，路遇饿狼，与之搏斗，险象环生。（人（角色）----狼（环境）大战）3） 时间依赖的发展：决策变得紧急如：2017年6月浙江英语高考：Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim."Getintothecar."PaulshoutedatMac.MacjumpedoffthebikeandslidintothecarwithoutdelayasthewolfwasjusttwostepsawayandwasabouttotearMacintopieces.Whatanarrowescape!骑车突停面前---急喊上车---Max上车避险---饿狼近在咫尺（此情此景，刻不容缓）4）增加的障碍：人物角色必须克服挑战，以达到他们的目标例如：2018年6月高考Butbeforewejumpedoffthehorses,wefoundthatwehadbeenoffthebeatentrackandgotlost.Wehadnoideawherewewereanditgotdark.Exhaustedandhungry,Iwonderedifwecouldfindourwayback.小兔突现—马儿受惊—草原迷路（障碍1）—天色渐黑（障碍2）----又累又饿（障碍3）----心理恐慌（障碍4）方法2・放大内心冲突放大内心冲突（你的角色的内心斗争）也有助于建立一个高度紧张和不确定的时刻。现在我们在来看高考读后续写中的内心冲突是如何体现的：2016年10月浙江高考：Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.Jane,exhaustedandscared,laydownnearastone,missingherfamilyatadistance.Allthefantasticmemorycrowdedinandshecouldn'thelpcrying,"Hadn'tIquarrelledwithTom,walkedawayandclimbedtothehighplace,Iwouldn'tbetrappedinthisawfulplace,confrontedwiththedangerofdying・”Sheregrettedwithendlessanxiety,andthenbecameasleepwithshiningtearsinhereyes.夫妇争吵---独自行走---荒野走散---夜色渐黑---独处森林---阴森恐怖---后悔莫及（内心冲突的刻画）内心独白（往昔对比+虚拟语气使用+旁边描写是常见技巧之一）方法3・使用环境描写增加不确定性充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用，具体方法可以看上期读后续写微技能。当故事角色在碰到困难时候，我们往往要加大笔墨来描写故事环境的黑暗，恐怖和不祥。强化环境描写增强了高潮元素。我们感受到了紧张的倍增。例1：Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest（黑暗）.Evenworse,thetemperaturesuddenlydroppeddramatically.（寒冷）例2：Itdidn'ttakelongfortheforesttobeenvelopedindarkness（黑暗）.Herraspingbreathsteamed（寒冷）inthemoonlightandherthroatwasparchedfromthirst.浙江高考读后续写微技能|12种高分开头AnadverbCarefully,hesteppedoverallthebrokenglass.Joyfullyheskippedupthestreet.Para1: （201610浙江高考读后续写范文摘录）Para1：Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledthefor