英语搞笑话剧-三顾茅庐

Threevisitstothecottage主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）旁白：Threevisitstothecottage（中文名三顾茅庐）isastoryfromoneoftheFourGreatclassicalChinesenovels——theThreeKindoms.ZhuGeliangisoneofthemaincharactersintheoriginal.Also,heisanoutstandingmilitarist,politicianandthesymbolofthewisdominChinesehistory.Anothermainactors——Liubei,whovisitedZhuGeliang's

thatchedcottagethreetimes

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wantedtoinvitehimtobehismilitaryadviser.Finally,ZhuGeliangwasmovedbyLiubei'sincerity,helpedthethreebrothers——Liubei,GuanyuandZhangfeitoestablishtheShuKindom.Now，let’sgointothestory.第一幕屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，诸葛亮：Buliang，thisclassroomissodirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线）三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙Acigerateafterdinnerplaysanimportantroleinmylife.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）刘：嗯？没点着En?Itdosen’tburnon.张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟Sorry，wecanonlyhasthis.Wecan’tsmokeintheclassroom!关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生WemustinviteMr.ZhuGeliang!张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了Certainly,Mr.Caobullyustoomuch.三人来到门前，石头剪子布刘备：Accordingtoourcustom？关羽：OK.张飞：Noproblem. 刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。 刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起） 刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。诸葛亮：Buliang（不亮）,gotoopenthedoor.仆人：Heng!(哼) 仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。仆人：안녕하세요(发音anihasaiyao~~~，中文意思：你好)刘备：CanyouspeakEnglish?关羽：（紧接着刘备）CanyouspeakChinese?张飞：（紧接着）CanyouspeakJapanese?晃去开门）猪不亮：谁啊Who’sthis?张飞：收水费的Icomeheretochargethebillofelectricity（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下Wearehereagain,bothertonoticeyourboss.（猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）Ijustfeelsomefeelingofsorrowinmyheart..关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）IsMrZhuGehome?Wewanttohaveatalkwithhim,please.猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。。。（你见，或者不见我It’sdoesn’tmatterifyouseemeornot我就在那里Iamstandingrightthere不悲不喜Withnoemotion你念，或者不念我It’sdoesn’tmatterifyoumissmeornot情就在那里Thefeelingisrightthere不来不去Anditisn’tgoinganywhere你爱或者不爱我It’sdoesn’tmatter）（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）刘：What?！！张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧I’mafraidsome-oneimportantofhimdiedhere.Let’sgo.Maybeweshouldcomenexttime.关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮Oh,IwishZhuGeliangdoes’tdie…（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。。）第三幕（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语）（诸葛亮又赢了）猪不亮：老大你真NBYouaretheman!诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作Hum！That’sapieceofcake.AndIthinkIshouldgotoLiuBei’scorporationtofindajobafterSpringFestival.猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？What?YousaidyouwannatogotoLiuBei’scompany?诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语En...That’sagoodplaceinwhichIneednotspeakEnglish.猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了But...uh,Idrovehimawayafewdaysago.门铃响。。猪不亮：说来就来了Speakofthedevilandhedothappear.（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧Boss!Iachedforyousomuch,pleasehelpme!刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧Becalm.Sinceyoutrustmesomuch,let’sgoanddoit!（出发。。）诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少钱啊Wait,wait...Myboss,uh,howmuchwill..Ige