公开课爸爸最美的花

ContinuationWriting

---HowtopolishacontinuationwritingLearningTarget:tolearnabouthowtopolishacontinuationwritingWarm-upwhatwouldyouthinofwhenitcomestothelovebetweenfamiliesWarm-uppureinnocentaffectiontouchone'sheartunconditionalwithoutanypurposeWarm-upNothingismoreiliesLoveisonethingwhichwillneverfadeawaydesentChildren'ssmilecanmaepeopleforgetthetroublesandunpleasantthingsCherishthisetraordinaryandnobleaffectionMydad'sbestflowerWhatisthemainideaofthistet我的爸爸非常爱种在阳台上的康乃馨，每天给这些花浇水、插地，定期换泥、修剪，照看它们就像自己的亲生孩子一样。深受其影响，我们两个孩子也非常钟爱这些花。有一天，我们打算用某种方式来表达我们对爸爸和花的爱。logictitlegivenstorytwogivensentencesunderlinedwords“Mydad'sbestflower”referstocarnation康乃馨）whichdadlovesgreatlylovebetweenthefamiliesReadforinformation---TitleTip①:FocusonthetitlewhenwritingMariaMomLoveandtaecareofFlowerDaughterDaughterDadElderSister“I”DaughterReadforinformation---tetwhoTip②:Considerthepersonalitieswhenwritingwhenmyhomewasasmallaent我们家住在一个小公寓里的时候当父亲回来时看到了花已经枯萎了。Oneday,myeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaWhenmydadarrived,hewentasusual,straighttothebalconyandsawhisflowerslyingonthefloorliedeadanimals一天，姐姐产生了一个想法。引发了后面花枯萎的事件。Readforinformation---tetwhen1Interation首句解读：yeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaGivenInformation（Maria）thatbalconyIetimeswithmyeldersister,MariaymomwasabsentshewaslieamothertomePara1Readforinformation---giveninformation续写首句解读G-N策略）1Interation首句解读：yeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaNewInformationWhatwasthegreatideaHowdidwecarryoutthegreatidea AndwhatdidwedowiththeflowersWhatwasMom’sreactiontowhatwedid/haddone/weredoingWhatdidwedoafterwardsReadforinformation---giveninformation续写首句解读G-N策略）ydadarrived,hewentasusual,straighttothebalconyandsawhisflowerslyingonthefloorliedeadanimalsHintsforthefirste：beforedad'sarrival②Event:thesisterdidsomethingwiththeflowerscausingbadresultdead:negativeemotionReadforinformation---giveninformation续写首句Tip③:eeptherestrictionsthroughthehintsofthefirstsentenceinthesecondparagraphwhenwritingthefirstparagraphCharactersPlacesPlotdevelopmentmom,Maria,flowersbalcony,streetaadeasharpcut;lovely,fascinatingReadforinformation---underlinedwords关键词解读G-N策略）Tip④:DonotforgettheunderlinedwordswhenwritingHowtocontinueanarrativestoryStepⅡ:Writing123Maeanoutline列出提纲Mindyourlanguage注意语言Beclearaboutthemaringcriteria清楚评分标准logictitlegivenstorytwogivensentencesunderlinedwordsInterpretationofwritingideas写作思路解读Idea1:madeasharpcutto“I”bandagedthestemwithasmallbandageMomFlowerMariamaeagiftofflowersformaeagiftofflowersforDadAngryandglaredatAngryandglaredatInterpretationofwritingideas写作思路解读Idea2:picthebestoutof“I”FlowerMariaheldtheflowerstightlyandgentlyDadaccidentallyfellwaitednervouslygotannoyedandstormedintoourroomyeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaWriteadraftBeclearaboutthemaringcriteria第五档21-25与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供各段落、开头语衔接合理；内容丰富，应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语；所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但完全不影响意义表达；有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使所续写短文结构紧凑。RememberCloselyrelatedbetweenparagraphsandwithinparagraphsSpecificwordsorvividdescriptionVarioussentencepatternsUnderlinedwordsTiaringcriteriainmindwhilewritingFeelings:angry---annoyed;furious;mad;irritatedhappy---joyful;delighted;pleased;cheerfulafraid---frightened;scared;frightfulPolish---touselowfrequencywords

替换低频词

Actions:wal---steultiply;snowballaniety/fright

Polish---touselowfrequencywords

替换低频词

Polish---phrasesfirst短语优先

Feelings:amiture/combinationofdowntears“~”'thelpdoingsthdelight/regret/fearwithanger6beseiedbyanger

Polish---variationsofsentencesActionsinto;stormintotoone'saidsbtodosthout/picouttodooutPolish---variationsofsentences①合并简单句（运用适当的逻辑连接词）②转换句子主语（涉及到Ving;Todo;It;从句作主语等）③运用特殊句式或结构（with复合结构；谓语＋宾语宾语补足语；强调句型；状语从句的省略；it作形式主语和形式宾语）④修辞手法（simile明喻）Polish---variationsofsentencesSteomfailedmymomSteeoccurstomethatoccurstomePolish---variationsofsentencesSteaedaddelightedseetheflowersmaesdaddelightedbringdelighttomydadmaesdaddelightedtoseetheflowersseieddadwhenseeingflowersPolish---variationsofsentencesAspectsGood3’Average2’Poor1’1.Closelyrelated衔接合理，结构紧凑2.Specificwordsorvividdescription用词准确，生动3.Varioussentencepatterns句式表达丰富4.Underlinedwords应用5个以上关键词5.Handwriting书写美观Total总分____/15StepⅢ:AssessingPossibleversion1Oneday,myeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaWantingtoheltheirstemsandarrangedthemonthefloorShebelievedthatDadwouldbeverythatwayWhenMomrealiedwhatmysisterhaddone,shedidn'tsayawordMysister